101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
by Ohfortheloveofpete
Summary: Anakin Skywalker is sick and tired of putting up with Jar Jar Binks and his obnoxious behavior...so he's decided to put him to death over and over again! Inspired by another character-bashing story 101 Ways To Kill Scrappy...
1. Airlock

101 Ways to Kill Jar Jar Binks

**Chapter 1: Airlock**

Life for Anakin Skywalker had started off well. He learned that he had more midichlorians that anyone else in the galaxy, and was slowly but surely becoming a hero.

For a moment, it seemed that his life was perfect. He even had a girlfriend of sorts in the form of Padme Amidala, who he thought was smoking hot.

Until he came into his life.

Anakin Skywalker simply could not tolerate being near Jar Jar Binks. He thought that he was such a pest, even when he first met him.

"I hate that stupid little Gungan!" he spat.

Immense hatred flowed in his veins, and he eventually vowed to get rid of the annoying pest once and for all. He was not sure about how his friends felt about him, but he knew that he had to do something to end the torture he put whoever encountered him through and stop him from further ruining the Star Wars prequel trilogy.

But he had one problem-how was he going to do so without being caught by his friends and family? They would not be happy that he had killed his loyal comrade. They would most likely throw him into intergalactic prison, and he had no intention of spending the rest of his life there.

So he had to keep those thoughts about killing Jar Jar Binks behind him, much to his disgust…

Until he met a strange figure wearing a strange cloak.

"I've got something that might interest you." he said.

He was initially suspicious of this stranger, until he handed him a book. It was entitled the Book of Resurrection.

Anakin Skywalker was skeptical of the book's powers and was about to simply throw it away, until the figure demonstrated by killing a Jedi (much to Anakin's horror and shock) and then chanting the words that were written on the book. The Jedi mysteriously came back to life, unaware of what had happened to him just a few minutes ago.

Anakin Skywalker was initially horrified, until the strange figure explained what he could do with it.

Suffice to say, Anakin Skywalker was very, very pleased. Not only could he use the book to get away with murdering Jar Jar Binks, but he could also use the book to murder him as many times as he wanted. He was so happy he could almost cry.

Now all he had to do was decide how to finish off the irritating Gungan once and for all.

He decided immediately on one that would be extremely simple to pull off, which was simply blasting the Gungan into space.

And so he lured Jar Jar Binks onto the ship.

"Where wesa going, Anakin?" he asked.

"Oh, someplace you've always been dying to go…" he replied, making a pun as he did so.

Luring the "poor" Gungan near the ship's airlock, he suddenly pressed a button, and Jar Jar Binks was immediately sucked into space.

"Mesa suffocating!" he screamed, right before all the oxygen left his lungs. He died in approximately a minute, much to Anakin's satisfaction.

Making sure that his friends would not notice what he had done to his Gungan "friend", he then used a tractor beam to place Jar Jar Binks back into the ship, and used the resurrection spell on him. It was as if he never committed the grisly act that led to the Gungan's death.

But still he wasn't satisfied. He had many more things in mind for the Gungan.

Many more ways to put him to death…

"One death isn't enough for Jar Jar Binks…I shall have to put him down again….I shall do it for everyone in the galaxy, I shall do it for my fans, I shall do it for every Jar Jar Binks hater in existence!"

The strange figure that had offered him the book smiled with satisfaction. His mission was complete, and he proceeded to tell the others.

_I bet a lot of Star Wars fans are probably going to enjoy reading this story…I think I'm probably going to enjoy writing it too…_

_So feel free to leave any suggestions, such as how to kill off Jar Jar Binks, for instance! And just to let you know, this won't be the last time we'll be seeing that stranger Anakin Skywalker encountered earlier, in case it wasn't obvious….so expect more from him in the future. So until next time!_


	2. Spice Overdose

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Since you enjoyed the first chapter so much, I'm going to keep working on this story!_

**Chapter 2: Spice Overdose**

Following his recent murder of Jar Jar Binks, Anakin Skywalker was feeling quite happy. He had successfully killed Jar Jar Binks by using an airlock and had ultimately gotten away with it…

But there was part of him that was unhappy about what he had done as well. He felt that Jar Jar Binks deserved to lose more than one life, similar to a character in a video game.

Ultimately, Anakin Skywalker prepared to kill him once again.

He decided not to simply blast him into space, like he had earlier as that would be somewhat repetitive and would ultimately become dull, and instead decided to kill him in an entirely different way.

He would kill him through a severe spice overdose.

Buying some of it from a shadier part of the galaxy where the intergalactic police did not exist, Anakin Skywalker paid for it with his own cash (even though it was quite expensive), and then brought it to Jar Jar Binks.

He told him that he had brought something for him. Jar Jar Binks, being a complete idiot, was not suspicious in the slightest of his presents.

Anakin Skywalker tricked the Gungan into taking all kinds of spice, finally ending with the nasty and rare drug known to the galaxy as glitterstim.

Jar Jar Binks could not tolerate all the drugs entering his body at once, and they started to have quite a negative impact on his body.

"Mesa not feels so good…" Not long afterwards, Jar Jar Binks fell on the floor, dead from the substances that had poisoned him at last.

Anakin Skywalker nearly squealed like a school girl despite being male. He had killed Jar Jar Binks again!

Anakin Skywalker then resurrected Jar Jar Binks, and began plotting the next depraved method of killing him.

Meanwhile…..

"So, you gave the book to Anakin Skywalker, yes?" a man in the shadows asked.

"Yes, as we speak Jar Jar Binks is dying horrible deaths in rapid succession." the cloaked stranger answered.

"Excellent."

_I told you we wouldn't see the last of that cloaked stranger, didn't I? Anyways, Jar Jar Binks has met his demise once again, and Anakin Skywalker's still killing him in creative ways…what will he think of next?_


	3. Energy Spiders

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

**Chapter 3: Energy Spiders**

After killing his friend Jar Jar Binks once again using various types of spice from throughout the galaxy, Anakin Skywalker was already starting to think of a new plan to terminate the Gungan for his personal pleasure.

But what could he use to get rid of him this time around? He thought about how one of the spices he had used to kill Jar Jar Binks was Glitterstim, which was created through the webbing made by energy spiders.

Suddenly, Anakin Skywalker had an extremely murderous idea that would become the latest method of which he would kill the Gungan.

Anakin Skywalker then proceeded to trick Jar Jar Binks into volunteering to work at a mine…a spice mine at Kessel to be more precise.

"Will mesa get paid much for this?" he asked.

"Sure." He said, glad that he wasn't suspecting a thing.

Anakin Skywalker then placed a lantern in Jar Jar Binks' hand, lying to him that the workers at the mine worked deep inside it in order to harvest the Glitterstim. Jar Jar Binks happily ran inside. Suffice to say he wouldn't be coming back out (not alive, anyway).

The Gungan gleefully started mining the Glitterstim for money, unaware at that particular moment an Energy Spider had spotted him…until it bit him straight in the leg.

"OUCHIES! MESA LEG!" he screamed in pain. Jar Jar Binks tried to make a run for it, but the Energy Spider spat some webbing at him, which effectively locked him in place. The Energy Spider then proceeded to make a meal out of Jar Jar Binks, causing him to die quite a gruesome death as it drained all of the energy out of his body.

Anakin Skywalker dragged Jar Jar Binks' corpse out of the mine a few minutes later after the incident and used the resurrection book to bring the Gungan back to life to kill him another day.

"This Resurrection Book has paid for itself already!" he exclaimed.

Back at the mine….

"So you want me to work in these deep tunnels as part of my prison sentence?" a Kessel prisoner asked.

"Yes." answered the Kessel official.

The Kessel Prisoner went into the deep mines where he would meet his doom.

"Sucker…." smirked the official. He had fallen for it so easily!

_Anakin Skywalker's still at it! How will he kill him next? You'll have to wait and see!_


	4. Strangling

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

**Chapter 4: Strangling**

Jar Jar Binks was annoying the heck out of Anakin Skywalker once again, and he simply could not stand it anymore. He simply would not stop talking to him.

"SHUT THE HECK UP!" screamed Anakin Skywalker.

Jar Jar Binks ignored him, and kept on annoying him for what felt like hours…up until the point where he decided to mischievously throw a pie in Anakin Skywalker's face.

"Hahahaha!" laughed Jar Jar Binks, blowing raspberries at the Jedi-in-training.

Suffice to say, this was the last straw for Anakin Skywalker. He decided to kill the Gungan by the most convenient way possible, by strangling Jar Jar Binks with his bare hands.

Anakin Skywalker grabbed onto Jar Jar Binks' neck, and started squeezing the life out of him.

"AARGH! Let go!" screamed Jar Jar Binks.

Anakin Skywalker kept at it for a minute or so, until finally Jar Jar Binks' neck broke and all the oxygen left his lungs.

"Now that felt good." Anakin Skywalker said.

Anakin Skywalker once again went to work on reading the resurrection spell in his trusted book. He had no idea where the stranger he had met earlier had obtained it from, but it was proving itself to be quite useful.

As soon as Anakin Skywalker finished reading the spell, Jar Jar Binks' neck instantly snapped back into place. This somewhat annoyed Anakin Skywalker, as now that he was alive once more, he would once again annoy the heck out of him.

But there was nothing stopping him from killing Jar Jar Binks once again….

_Anakin Skywalker sure chose a simple way to kill Jar Jar Binks this time huh? In the next chapter…someone will start assisting Anakin in his many schemes to kill the bug-eyed Gungan, can you guess who?_


	5. Lightsaber Duel

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

**Chapter 5: Lightsaber Duel**

Anakin Skywalker was busy throwing darts at a picture of Jar Jar Binks. How he despised that Gungan.

Suddenly, Obi-Wan Kenobi came into the room, much to Anakin's surprise. He noticed the darts that Anakin Skywalker had thrown at the picture of the Gungan, and he started lecturing Anakin about how hatred was wrong and how one should try to settle their differences with someone instead of letting it boiling inside of them.

Anakin Skywalker reluctantly listened to the lecture, until he noticed a cloaked figure (not unlike the one that had given Anakin the book he had used to resurrect Jar Jar Binks repeatedly after he had murdered him) carrying a strange syringe.

Anakin Skywalker attempted to warn Obi-Wan of the cloaked figure, but Kenobi assumed that he was simply trying to get out of the lecture.

"Not now, my apprentice!" he barked.

Suddenly the cloaked figure injected the syringe into Obi-Wan Kenobi's arm, causing the mysterious contents to enter his bloodstream. Anakin Skywalker screamed. What was he going to do?

Suddenly, Obi-Wan Kenobi stopped lecturing Anakin, and instead told him that he openly encouraged Anakin Skywalker's hatred of Jar Jar Binks, and was even going to help him kill him if he so desired.

Anakin Skywalker developed an enormous smile on his face, and together they started thinking up a scheme to kill the Gungan once again.

This time around, Obi-Wan Kenobi would be the one that would ultimately kill Jar Jar Binks, and he would do so through something that was frequently done between opposing forces in the galaxy.

Obi-Wan would kill Jar Jar Binks through a lightsaber duel.

Anakin Skywalker then proceeded to direct Jar Jar Binks into a trap, telling him that Obi-Wan Kenobi wanted to play a game with him, and gave the Gungan a stick.

Jar Jar Binks happily accepted it, and walked into the battlefield along with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Obi-Wan Kenobi pulled out his lightsaber, and the duel between the two began.

The fight ranged on with a long time, with both sides trying to overcome the other.

Well, actually, the battle was pretty one-sided. As soon as Jar Jar Binks attempted to counter Obi-Wan Kenobi's lightsaber with the stick Anakin had given to him, it immediately broke into two.

Obi-Wan then proceeded to stab and slash Jar Jar Binks to death with the lightsaber. He died rapidly from blood loss and dismemberment.

Anakin Skywalker happily cheered his master for killing Jar Jar Binks. "Way to go, master!" he squealed.

"Yes, it is a shame that we can only do so to this Gungan once….I feel that he deserves many more deaths than what we have done just now…"

Anakin Skywalker then proceeded to show Obi-Wan Kenobi the resurrection book he had obtained fairly recently, much to his surprise.

"Resurrection Book?" he exclaimed.

Anakin Skywalker then resurrected Jar Jar Binks with the book, and told Obi-Wan Kenobi how to do the same.

"I see…I suppose we'll be able to kill Jar Jar Binks again now, won't we?" Obi-Wan Kenobi told his apprentice.

Anakin Skywalker nodded.

And so the two vowed to kill Jar Jar Binks as many times as it took for him to satisfy their hatred of the Gungan.

To do so…they would have to kill Jar Jar Binks time and time again…

_It looks like Anakin won't be murdering Jar Jar Binks alone anymore…Obi-Wan Kenobi has decided to join him…_

_How will they kill Jar Jar Binks next? I suppose we'll have to wait and find out…so stay tuned until then!_


	6. Dragon Snakes

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

**Chapter 6: Dragon Snakes**

Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi were thinking of another way to put down Jar Jar Binks. What else could they use to kill him?

They thought about it for a while, until Obi-Wan Kenobi got an idea.

He had recalled being attacked by a ferocious Dragon Snake during a trip to Dagobah, and the two of them agreed that this would be the perfect way to kill Jar Jar Binks.

Getting Jar Jar Binks to enter an intergalactic ship with them, they proceeded to drive over to Dagobah were Jar Jar Binks would once again meet his demise.

"Dis planet sure is swampy!" Jar Jar Binks stated the obvious.

"Yeah yeah we know." Anakin replied.

Now all that was left for Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi to do was actually find one. It didn't actually take them long. Fortunately, this one just so happened to be sleeping, so Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker would need to worry about defending themselves.

Anakin Skywalker tossed Jar Jar Binks right at the Dragon Snake while he was observing this enormous creature out of curiousity, immediately waking it up and sealing the doomed Gungan's fate.

Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi managed to escape from the Dragon Snake (as they had kept their distance all the while), but of course Jar Jar Binks wasn't nearly as lucky. The Dragon Snake immediately clamped his sharp fangs into Jar Jar Binks, causing him extreme pain.

"Aargh! Dis real hurts!" screamed Jar Jar Binks as the Dragon Snake shook him like a rag doll.

The Dragon Snake then proceeded to drag Jar Jar Binks underwater to his grave and to make it his next meal.

Not long afterwards, Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi carried all that remained of Jar Jar Binks back into the ship, and used the resurrection spell to bring the Gungan back to life once more.

"I hope that we won't have to do that again." said Anakin Skywalker, disgusted.

"I'm afraid we probably will, young Jedi." his master told him.

However, this would not be the only time that Jar Jar Binks would become one with the force on this planet.

Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi had some other nasty plans for the Gungan that would involve him being slaughtered at Dagobah… (which naturally involved killing him).

Nasty, nasty plans…

_XD…seeing though one of my reviewers suggested that Jar Jar Binks should die by snakes…I decided to execute him this time around using a dragon snake…I'm not sure if this is quite that reviewer had in mind…but I hope him (along with the other people are reading this story) are happy…_

_Feel free to leave any suggestions as to how Jar Jar Binks should die next, particularly any gruesome or creative ones._


	7. Fire

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Well, seeing though I've been getting a lot of reviews saying that Jar Jar Binks should perish by fire, I've decided to include a death that involved fire….which naturally of course involves burning the Gungan alive. I hope you enjoy!_

**Chapter 7: Fire**

Following the events that had occurred in Dagobah, Anakin and Obi-Wan Kenobi were once again deciding on how to kill Jar Jar Binks.

"There's got to be something we can think of. I mean, we haven't actually killed him many times, now have we?" Anakin Skywalker discussed.

"True, but still, what could we use to get rid of Jar Jar Binks this time around?" Obi-Wan Kenobi he asked.

"Well, I'm going to bed. See you." But as he did so, he tripped over something…in fact; he tripped over a box of matches he had carelessly left behind.

Suddenly, the two of them had an idea of how they were going to next kill Jar Jar Binks.

They were going to kill the Gungan…with fire.

"Alright, here's the plan, you get to work on finding gasoline, newspapers…anything that we could use to help us set the house on fire. In the meantime, I'll go fetch Jar Jar Binks."

While Obi-Wan Kenobi worked on putting flammable content in the house, Anakin Skywalker then proceeded to tell Jar Jar Binks about the said house saying that there were hot Gungan chicks inside.

"Hot Gungan chicks! Oh boy!" squealed Jar Jar Binks. And suffice to say the gullible idiot easily fell for the deathtrap.

As Jar Jar Binks ran inside the house which would shortly become his fiery grave (which by that point was filled with flammable materials), Obi-Wan Kenobi left through the back door while Anakin proceeded to lock him inside.

"Wherea all da hot Gungan chicks?" wondered Jar Jar Binks.

Suddenly, Anakin Skywalker threw a lit match into the house. Within minutes, the whole house was in flames, with Jar Jar Binks still inside.

"Mesa on fire! Get mesa out of here!" screamed Jar Jar Binks. But of course nothing was done to save the doomed Gungan. Jar Jar Binks rapidly died from third-degree burns and suffocation from all the smoke entering his Gungan lungs.

After the flames had finally died down, Anakin Skywalker carried out Jar Jar Bink's now ash-covered body, resurrected him with the book, and got out of the area before anyone on the planet got suspicious about a deserted house suddenly bursting into flames and have the intergalactic police convict them of arson and murder.

_Burn baby burn….well you guys asked for it, I certainly hope you're happy! I'm certainly pleased with this chapter myself…so once again, feel free to leave any suggestions for the next chapter!_


	8. Boxing Match

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

**Chapter 8: Boxing Match**

After killing Jar Jar Binks through burning him alive, Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi had already decided how to kill him once more after watching some TV featuring two boxers fighting each other.

They decided to kill Jar Jar Binks through a boxing match.

Anakin Skywalker took his shirt off (which made most of his fangirls squeal with delight), put on some boxing gloves he had bought for the purpose of punching Jar Jar Binks to death, and proceeded to drag Jar Jar Binks by the arm into the boxing arena.

"Where yousa taking me?" Jar Jar Binks asked the young Jedi curiously.

"We're going to do something fun." Anakin Skywalker told the obnoxious Gungan.

"Oh OK!" replied Jar Jar Binks.

However, this wrestling match would not be one that was held in public. It would be one that would ultimately end in the demise of the Gungan…

With Obi-Wan Kenobi as the referee, the two of them began the match.

"Round 1, fight!" ordered Obi-Wan.

Jar Jar Binks started the fight by attempting to punch Anakin Skywalker, but naturally he hit like an infant. Anakin Skywalker on the other hand hit like a sledgehammer, punching Jar Jar Binks several times in the face, breaking his nose almost immediately.

"OUCHIES! MESA NOSE!" he screamed, covering it in order to try to stop the bleeding.

Suffice to say, Jar Jar Binks did not do well in the fight. Anakin Skywalker kept on punching him and punching him…until….

Jar Jar Binks fell on the floor, having kicked the bucket.

"1….2...3" counted Obi-Wan Kenobi. Jar Jar Binks, being an extremely dead Gungan after Anakin Skywalker's brief boxing match with him, did not stand up, so therefore Anakin was the winner.

Anakin Skywalker stepped out of the boxing ring afterwards.

"You have done well my apprentice." Obi-Wan Kenobi congratulated the young Jedi.

Afterwards, Anakin Skywalker wiped Jar Jar Binks' blood off his face, put his shirt back on (causing his fangirls to groan in disappointment), and proceeded to read from the book in order to bring Jar Jar Binks back to life so that they could kill him another day.

How would they kill Jar Jar Binks next? Even they were not sure themselves.

_Suffice to say, Anakin Skywalker went Mike Tyson on Jar Jar Binks, it's up to you to decide how he will next murder him…anything particularly creative or gruesome will be highlighted…of course I might come up with something myself, but like I said, anything's welcome. So if you have anything in mind for the next fate of this incredibly annoying Gungan, speak up!_

_Until then, I'll be looking at your reviews…_


	9. Lethal Injection

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

**Chapter 9: Lethal Injection**

Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi were ready to kill Jar Jar Binks once again and make him pay for making them suffer so much. This time, they had decided to kill Jar Jar Binks through injecting him with deadly, toxic chemicals, such as euthanasia for their latest Gungan murder.

Soon enough, they managed to find Jar Jar Binks, who was busy making obnoxious noises that made Anakin and Obi-Wan Kenobi's ears bleed, already making them want to kill Jar Jar Binks extremely badly.

"KILL HIM NOW!" screamed Obi-Wan, wanting to silence the Gungan for good.

Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi quickly grabbed Jar Jar Binks and tied him to a nearby chair to keep him still.

"AARGH! MESA CAN'T MOVE!" screamed Jar Jar Binks, futilely trying to break free from his twine restraints, giving him rope burns in the process.

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker then proceeded to inject the Gungan with many different toxic chemicals (they had not really bothered to see what they all did so long as they were harmful to Gungans) they had bought for the execution, which suffice to say killed him rapidly as they made his heart stop among other fatal things.

"It is done…" Obi-Wan Kenobi said, satisfied at Jar Jar Binks' latest demise.

But just as Anakin Skywalker was about to resurrect Jar Jar Binks using the resurrection book, Padme Amidala suddenly came into the room.

"What's going on here?" screamed Padme, rapidly noticing Jar Jar Binks' corpse.

"Um…" Anakin Skywalker said. What could he say to her? There was overwhelming evidence against him and Obi-Wan for the murder of the annoying alien. She was likely going to call the intergalactic police and tell them about what had happened. They would be behind bars forever! Thankfully, our heroes did not have to worry about this problem for long…

Suddenly, several cloaked people (not unlike the few that Anakin and Obi-Wan Kenobi encountered earlier) ran into the room and struck the three on the head with blunt weapons, knocking them out cold for what they were planning to do next. Resurrecting Jar Jar Binks themselves using the Book of Resurrection, the cloaked figures proceeded to take the four of them into a space vehicle in order to take the four to their hideout, where they would proceed to make Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme kill Jar Jar Binks in more gruesome ways…

In fact, this would be where they would decide how to kill the almost universally despised Gungan themselves…

_Jar Jar Binks has died once again, but Anakin, Padme, and Obi-Wan Kenobi have been taking away by the cloaked figures to their mysterious hideout where the cloaked figure that gave Anakin the resurrection book that started all these nasty deaths came from in the first place…_

_In the next chapter…we'll learn more about the mysterious cloaked figures that have been appearing throughout the story….and Jar Jar Binks will naturally die once again…_


	10. Poison Gas

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

**Chapter 10: Poison Gas**

After taking Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jar Jar Binks, and Padme Amidala to their hideout in order to get them to murder Jar Jar Binks in more gruesome ways, the cloaked figures decided how to next kill Jar Jar Binks.

As it turns out, they were part of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization, which were dedicated in killing the Gungan over and over again due to how annoying he was.

In fact, they were planning to kill off Jar Jar Binks right at that particular moment, although they were having a few arguments on how to do so.

"So, any suggestions as to how to kill the Gungan?" one of the members asked.

"Maybe we could set him on fire?" suggested another member.

"No, we've been monitoring his "friends", and they've already tried that and succeeded." the high-ranking member disagreed, not wanting to try the same killing method repeatedly.

"Bury him alive under tons of concrete?" yet another member suggested.

"No, we don't have that much concrete." disapproved the high-ranking member. One organization had only so much funding.

Suddenly, the member that had given Anakin the Book of Resurrection came out with a wonderful idea through reading the poems of Wilfred Owen, executing the Gungan by making him breathe poisonous gas. As it turns out, they had already designed a gas chamber for that particular purpose.

"Excellent! I'm giving you a promotion!" cheered the high-ranking member. "Now then, all we need to do know is find the Gungan…."

Soon enough, the organization members found Jar Jar Binks sleeping, unaware that this place was home to the people responsible for all the pain and suffering he had gone through lately.

"Zzz…mesa hungry…." sleeptalked Jar Jar Binks, who was clearly in Dreamland at that point.

The organization members dragged Jar Jar Binks inside the gas chamber while he was still sleeping, and locked him straight inside in case he somehow woke up.

One of the organization members turned a valve, and soon enough the death gas started pouring into the room.

Upon hearing the gas being activated, Jar Jar Binks suddenly woke up.

"Whoa! Mesa must have dozed off!" he realized.

Suddenly, he realized that there was poison gas entering the room.

"Dis can't be good!" Jar Jar Binks screamed.

Jar Jar Binks tried to leave the room, but as said before, he had been locked inside, meaning that there was no escape for the helpless Gungan.

"Let mesa out of here!" shrieked Jar Jar Binks. But once again, nothing was done to help him escape from his deathtrap.

Eventually, Jar Jar Binks was forced to breathe the poisonous gas, and of course one could not breathe that particular gas without it entering their lungs, and he perished shortly afterwards.

"The murder was a success!" informed the organization member monitoring Jar Jar Binks in order to made sure the poison gas killed him.

"Excellent! Now turn off the poison gas and resurrect him, we're about to give him back to his friends and take them back home now that we've refueled their hatred of that stupid Gungan." ordered the organization commander.

"Yes, my liege!" he said, turning off the poison gas and dragging Jar Jar Binks out of the execution chamber.

Soon enough Jar Jar Binks was resurrected through the magic of the Resurrection Book, and he, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Padme Amidala were all free to leave, with thoughts of executing the Gungan all swirling in their mind.

As it turns out, the organization would be doing this to them time and time again to make sure that the three of them kept on schedule.

And of course they would be only the first time they executed the Gungan as well.

_Just to let you know, the organization will participate in the many deaths of Jar Jar Binks every ten chapter, so don't be surprised whenever this happens…._

_In the next chapter, Padme will start assisting in the many murders of the Gungan….and Jar Jar Binks will start experiencing more gruesome deaths….so I hope my audience will be satisfied…_

_So once again, feel free to leave any suggestions as to how to execute the Gungan….I've gotten plenty of suggestions already though, so I might try to use those first…_


	11. Tickling

**101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks**

**Chapter 11: Tickling**

After being brainwashed extensively by the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization (which you may be a member of depending on how much you hate the Gungan) in order to ensure they would resume the task that was expected from them, our protagonists were finally ready to kill Jar Jar Binks again.

This time, Padme Amidala was included in the repeated planning and executing of one of the most hated aliens in the entire galaxy, which would theoretically make it easier to kill him.

But how would they actually kill him this time? Now that they thought of it, there were many ways they could dispose of Jar Jar Binks, but out of all those methods which one would they ultimately decide on?

The answer to this question was through tickling him to death by using some feathers they had obtained from Anakin Skywalker's pillow.

The three of them quickly approached Jar Jar Binks and dogpiled the Gungan, then proceeded to tie him to a chair, preventing him from moving in order for them to do what they were about to do next.

"Why are yousa doing this to mesa? Release mesa from this chair!" Jar Jar Binks demanded. But of course his "friends" did not, instead preparing to kill him once again.

Our heroes proceeded to mercilessly tickle Jar Jar Binks to death using the feathers from Anakin Skywalker's pillow, causing him to laugh uncontrollably as he died.

"Stop it! Dat tickles!" laughed Jar Jar Binks.

It took a long time, but finally he gave up the ghost after all of the prolonged tickling took its toll.

"That sure took a while, didn't it?" lampshaded Anakin.

"Perhaps we should find a quicker killing method next time." Padme Amidala suggested.

"At least he's dead now." pointed out Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Anakin Skywalker pulled out the book, and Jar Jar Binks was resurrected through the Book of Resurrection's magical spell. Not long afterwards, he gave himself a mental slap in the face. It turns out that it wasn't the only spell in the book! In fact, the Book of Resurrection was actually a book filled with spells to help them dispose of Jar-Jar Binks, including an effect fastening spell.

"I'll have to remember that in the future." Anakin noted.

And with this information in mind, our heroes continued plotting the deaths of Jar Jar Binks.

How would they kill him next? Nobody knows…

_And our heroes are back for more Jar Jar Binks killing. Once again, I'm up for suggestions!_


	12. Alcohol Poisoning

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

**Chapter 12: Alcohol Poisoning**

_Here's the reason why you drink responsibly!_

Our heroes were yet again plotting the death of Jar Jar Binks. They had almost killed Jar Jar Binks a dozen times now, and they were ready to kill him once again.

This time, they would kill him by challenging Jar Jar Binks to a fatal drinking contest, hoping that the excessive amounts of alcohol would have a negative impact on his bloodstream and ultimately lead to his demise.

Obi-Wan Kenobi was the one that would actually challenge him, while Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala would buy some booze from a liquor store for the purpose of causing him to die in the first place.

"Let's see who can drink the most beer." challenged Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"OK, mesa not back down from a challenge." accepted Jar Jar Binks.

And so our hero (and the villain) started drinking to their heart's content, hoping to outdo the other. Pretty soon they started to feel sick, causing Jar Jar Binks to throw up on the floor and Obi-Wan Kenobi start saying complete and utter nonsense.

"WHEE! I'm a bunny rabbit!" squealed Obi-Wan Kenobi, who at this point was falling-down drunk.

"BLARGH!" threw up Jar Jar Binks. Someone would need to mop up the floor later.

Still they continued drinking, until finally Jar Jar Binks fell down dead on the floor….

And so did Obi-Wan Kenobi, who had succumbed to the excessive amounts of alcohol as well.

"NOOOO!" screamed Anakin Skywalker. His Jedi Master was dead! And it was because of him! He ran over to his body, and started crying on it uncontrollably. "This is my entire fault, I'll never forgive myself!"

Suddenly, he noticed that Padme Amidala seemed unphased by what had happened.

"What is wrong with you?" asked Anakin Skywalker. "OBI-WAN KENOBI IS DEAD!" he screamed.

"You do realize we can just resurrect him using the Resurrection Book, right?" she told him.

"Er, I knew that." sweatdropped Anakin.

And so our two remaining heroes resurrected Jar Jar Binks and Obi-Wan Kenobi, somehow removing all of the alcohol from their bodies in the process. This did not stop them from experiencing hangover symptoms however (strangely enough), so it looked like the two of them would be in bed for a while.

After their period of bedrest was over, Jar Jar Binks would die once again.

_With Obi-Wan Kenobi's sacrifice, Jar Jar Binks died once again. Next time will be…._

_DEATH NUMBER 13!_

_I certainly hope you're not afraid of that particular number…suffice to say that particular death will be very unlucky for Jar Jar Binks…how will he die? You'll have to wait and see._


	13. Machete

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

**Chapter 13: Machete**

_Our heroes (possibly anti-heroes, considering some of the methods that they've used to kill Jar Jar Binks were brutal) have decided to go to a camp for their vacation. Little did they know who this camp is home to…_

"So, why'd you decide to take us to camp, Obi-Wan?" asked Anakin Skywalker.

"I felt like you deserved a break after all your hard jedi training." replied Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Alright, if you say so." shrugged Anakin.

Obi-Wan Kenobi showed Anakin and Padme around the camp, simply so that they would know the things they could do while they were there.

Our heroes decided to enjoy themselves on their trip by going for a swim (both fanboys and fangirls celebrated when they saw Anakin Skywalker shirtless and Padme Amidala wearing a bikini).

After that was done, our heroes decided to have some lunch…when they realized that Jar Jar Binks had stowed away with them.

"Mesa so happy to see yousa!" squealed Jar Jar Binks.

Our heroes groaned with frustration, but decided not to kill him as they did before and instead put up with him for the time being so that they could enjoy their time at camp.

For a while (even with Jar Jar Binks) around, it seemed that everything was fine, and that there was nothing wrong with the camp whatsoever.

That is, until night came by…

Jar Jar Binks, needing to use the bathroom, decided to simply take a leak in the woods.

Little did they know that at that moment someone was watching him…

But Jar Jar Binks did not trust his instincts, and instead continued to do his business.

Until suddenly, someone came behind him and stabbed him with the back with a machete, which suffice to say proved lethal.

"Who stabbed mesa?" wondered Jar Jar Binks. Not long afterwards, he fell on the floor, dead.

But the serial killer was not done yet. He proceeded to leave the woods. Donning his hockey mask, he started to look around the camp for anyone else that made the mistake of going there during Friday the 13th.

He found Obi-Wan Kenobi sleeping first, and proceeded to snap his neck, killing him instantly, not unlike what he had done to Jar Jar.

This woke up Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala, who heard Obi-Wan Kenobi die. Rapidly noticing that there was a psycho wearing a hockey mask and wielding a machete on the loose, they screamed and proceeded to run out of their tent, trying to escape the heartless killer.

Things looked bleak until our heroes hid underwater using makeshift breathing apparatus. As it turns out, this particular serial killer was hydrophobic, and he stayed far away from the lake that had once drowned him.

The next day, Anakin and Padme used the resurrection book to resurrect Obi-Wan Kenobi. They found Jar Jar Binks' dead body as well, so they resurrected him using the same book as well.

They decided not to hang around at the camp anymore, knowing that the man with the hockey mask was possibly still around, and they left using their space vehicle to head back to the galaxy.

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter featuring a certain horror icon that you may or may not have heard of….although it's most likely the former….Coincidentally, this is the second chapter in the row in which Obi-Wan Kenobi has died…will he do so any more times in the future? Will someone else perish as well? You'll have to find out in the next chapter in the 101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks…._


	14. Toxic Chemicals

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

**Chapter 14: Toxic Chemicals**

_Today our heroes will execute Jar Jar Binks through a non-violent yet effective method of death…by poisoning his drink! How will this turn out, you ask? You'll have to wait and see…_

Following the disaster at summer camp that cost the lives of Jar Jar Binks (OK, perhaps it wasn't an entire disaster) and Obi-Wan Kenobi, our heroes were ready to kill him again after coming back home from their several sessions of therapy.

As it turns out, today was the day they would kill Jar Jar Binks through a simple yet effective method, by pouring toxic chemicals into his drink.

But what did Gungans like to drink, exactly? Despite being around one, Anakin and Padme did not know that Jar much about Jar Binks' species, aside from their strange methods of speaking.

Thankfully, as it turns out, there wasn't much a Gungan wouldn't eat or drink, so the problem was quickly resolved.

Pouring some rather nasty chemicals (such as arsenic and cyanide, for instance) into Jar Jar Binks' drink, our heroes then waited for him to actually show up.

Sure enough he did come by, and our heroes asked him if he would like to have a toast with them.

"Sure! Mesa always happy to have one da thesa!" accepted Jar Jar Binks, who fortunately was feeling quite thirsty at the moment.

And so they all did so, drinking the entire contents of their cups and again sealing the fate of the doomed Gungan.

"Whya does dis drink tasta like bitter almonds?" asked Jar Jar Binks. Not long afterwards, he died from all the deadly chemicals entering his body.

Unfortunately, our heroes had made the mistake of poisoning Anakin's drink as well, and he fell to the ground dead just like the Gungan they had murdered.

Suffice to say, our heroes were forced to resurrect him with the Book of Resurrection as well, simply so that they would have Anakin to assist them kill Jar Jar Binks in the near future.

Well, that and the fact that he was Obi-Wan Kenobi's apprentice and Padme Amidala was his girlfriend, so their lives wouldn't exactly be the same without him.

_I guess our heroes should have been more careful so that Anakin wouldn't have died…but no matter! Jar Jar Binks has died once again…and he'll do so for many chapters to come!_

_Anyways if you see a giant skull on a bottle filled with a strange chemical, there's a good chance it's poisonous…so don't drink it!_

_That's all I have to say for today about this chapter, so feel free to leave any reviews if you're up to it or just want to give me support! Not like I haven't gotten a lot of them already…but I still appreciate it!_


	15. Quicksand

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

**Chapter 15: Quicksand**

_Fun fact: Quicksand exists in real life, although it's not nearly as dangerous as one would imagine akin to a movie…._

Anakin Skywalker, deciding to make a visit to his home planet Tatooine, decided to take his friends Padme Amidala and Obi-Wan Kenobi with him, as well as Jar Jar Binks, simply because he insisted on going with him and wanted him to stop begging for him to do so.

Little did Jar Jar Binks know was that this was where here he would die once again (interestingly enough, not by his frequent murderers Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Anakin, but by the planet environment itself).

For a moment, it seemed like there was absolutely nothing wrong with where they had landed. Our heroes decided to look around Tatooine to see if there was anything of note. Soon enough they found Anakin's birthplace, which he was happy to visit.

"Haven't been here for a long time…." thought Anakin Skywalker, thinking about all the good memories he had there before he was taken away to be a slave.

As he and his friends looked around his house, Jar Jar Binks walked away from the others without their noticing, as he was quite thirsty and was looking for some water (which was naturally scarce in Tatooine, given that it was a desert planet unlike the water planet Naboo, coincidentally where our obnoxious Gungan was born).

Instead of finding some water for him to drink however, Jar Jar Binks found the place where he would end up dying.

As Jar Jar Binks looked around where had travelled, he noticed that his legs appeared to be stuck in something. He looked down, and discovered that he was slowly sinking…

IN A GIANT PIT OF QUICKSAND!

"AARGH! MESA SINKING!" screamed Jar Jar Binks, trying to find a way out of the muddy mess he had gotten himself in. He looked all around him, but unfortunately there was nothing he could grab onto to escape from his predicament.

He ultimately decided to panic and wave his arms frantically like a maniac as he sank into the quicksand pit of doom…which naturally sealed his fate.

If the Gungan had simply been still, Jar Jar Binks probably would have floated to the surface and not ended up fulfilling one of the many, many deaths in this story, but instead he rapidly sank to the bottom, where he died not long afterwards from the lack of oxygen entering his lungs.

Not long after this noteworthy event, Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, and Obi-Wan Kenobi discovered his body, which was strangely floating on top of the quicksand after he had drowned in it.

"Well, that quicksand pit was convenient for us, wasn't it?" Obi-Wan Kenobi said his thoughts aloud.

"Funny, I don't recall him being particularly heavy." pointed out Padme Amidala.

"I guess it just sucks to be him." stated Anakin Skywalker.

Our heroes resurrected Jar Jar Binks using their handy dandy Book of Resurrection they had been using quite frequently now due to their many murders, and subsequently decided to leave, due to the fact that there may be other patches of quicksand in the area in order to kill Jar Jar Binks another day (presumably by their own hands).

_You'd think they'd call it slowsand considering it sinks people slowly instead of rapidly, but I suppose that's just the way it is._

_Anyways, Jar Jar Binks had learned the hard way not to struggle his head off in quicksand if he's sinking in it, and our heroes are preparing to kill him once again…what creative way to execute him will they think of next? Your guess is as good as mine…_


	16. Force Ghosts or simply Ghosts

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

**Chapter 16: Force Ghosts (or simply Ghosts)**

_Well, I've been receiving reviews for this type of death…although for a moment I had no idea how to pull this off…but at last I thought of something I could do in order to kill Jar Jar Binks once again. I hope you enjoy this spooky chapter!_

This time, it was Obi-Wan Kenobi's turn to take a visit to a particular planet, one that was known by Stewjon. This planet in question was Obi-Wan Kenobi's homeplanet, and contained a graveyard filled with fallen Jedi, hence why Obi-Wan Kenobi had decided to visit it, in order to honor the dead (or as Obi-Wan Kenobi put it, had become one with the force).

Unfortunately, Jar Jar Binks would do the exact opposite on this planet, and he would end up paying the price for what he had done as a result.

As our heroes took a tour of the various Jedi that had died defending their planets or whatever galaxy was at war, or simply had done something stupid that had led to their deaths, Jar Jar Binks once again slipped away from his teammates. As it turns out, this time he needed to find a restroom.

"Mesa need to use da potty!" he exclaimed. Apparently, he had been holding it for quite some time, and time was finally starting to run out.

But unfortunately, there were no restrooms at this graveyard planet. Giving up (forgetting the fact that there was a bathroom on the shuttle, just like he had forgotten before there were drinking fountains on it as well), he decided to take a leak on one of the graves in the Jedi graveyard.

Which sealed the Gungan's fate once more, as angry Force Ghosts came out of the gravestones due to the atrocity he had just committed.

"HOW DARE YOU URINATE ON MY GRAVESTONE!" screamed one of them.

"YEAH! THAT'S REALLY DISGUSTING!" screamed another one.

"YOU MUST BE A SITH OR SOMETHING!" screamed yet another one.

"Get him!" they all screamed, trying to catch the annoying Gungan.

Jar Jar Binks tried to run away from the vengeful spirits, but the Force Ghosts were too fast for the doomed alien. They all grabbed onto him, and then they proceeded to pull his soul right out of his body. This was obviously lethal for Jar Jar Binks, as one obviously cannot survive with their soul separated from their body.

Jar Jar Binks died as his flesh proceeded to turn blue from his lack of soul (it also helped that the ghosts had touched him, since ghosts were cold to the touch), and it wasn't until Obi-Wan Kenobi had finished his long tour that they finally discovered his body.

"Now what happened to Jar Jar this time?" Anakin Skywalker wondered. This was the third time or so that something unusual had happened that resulted in Jar Jar Binks' death now instead of them actually killing Jar Jar Binks themselves.

"I don't see anything that could have killed him." wondered Padme Amidala as well. Indeed, this death was very unusual, even more so than what had happened at Tatooine.

"Let's just resurrect him using the Resurrection Book." suggested Obi-Wan Kenobi, pulling it out as he said so.

Placing Jar Jar Binks' dead body back on their space shuttle, the three recited the magic words that had brought Jar Jar Binks back to life before, simply so they could kill him again.

In case whatever killed Jar Jar Binks was still around, then they decided to leave once more.

As the shuttle departed from Stewjon and headed for the galaxy, an undead hand jumped out from one of the gravestones.

_Is this the end? Yes, I decided to create a sequel hook (not a sequel to the story, but a sequel of sorts to this chapter)…seeing though Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, and Padme Amidala decided to resurrect Jar Jar Binks within a graveyard. Will they stop by Stewjon (yes, it's a funny name for a planet, I know) again? You'll have to wait and see…_

_Oh yes, and remember to honor the departed...it's probably a good idea for your own safety._


	17. Buried Alive

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Are you afraid of premature burial? Well, this is going to be the way Jar Jar Binks dies today, so I hope you aren't too frightened…but you'll probably be laughing instead given how goofy this story has become…_

**Chapter 17: Buried Alive**

For a moment, it seemed like our trio unfortunately wouldn't be able to kill Jar Jar Binks that particular day (which would therefore making a somewhat boring chapter). Qui-Gon Jinn had stopped by to visit our heroes, and unfortunately he had not been brainwashed (at least, not yet) to help them kill Jar Jar Binks.

And if they tried to kill him while he's nearby, he might find out and call the intergalactic police, carting them all off to jail. And that would be the end of their endless murders of the Gungan. (At least, until the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization came to bust them out of jail).

So it looked like they were all out of luck and would have to do something else for a change instead of harming our least favorite Gungan…until another member of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization came by and injected Qui-Gon Jinn with a needle.

"OW!" he screamed. Being injected with a needle could really hurt, obviously, and especially if it wasn't done carefully.

As it turns out, this was another needle filled with the strange chemical that had been previously injected inside Obi-Wan Kenobi's bloodstream. Immediately, Qui-Gon Jinn felt the need to try to kill Jar Jar Binks somehow.

"Must kill Jar Jar Binks…and maybe get a cup of coffee…I'm getting kind of thirsty." stated Qui-Gon Jinn.

Not long afterwards, Qui-Gon Jinn approached our heroes and asked if he could help them kill Jar Jar Binks, much to their pleasant surprise.

"Um sure…what do you propose we do?" asked Anakin Skywalker.

Qui-Gon Jinn suggested that they kill Jar Jar Binks by first getting out some shovels and then digging a hole large enough for Jar Jar Binks to fit inside in.

For a moment, our heroes were confused by this suggestion, but they decided to go along with it. Getting out their shovels, they began to dig the large hole for whatever Qui-Gon Jinn was planning. It was very hard work, but at last our heroes managed to pull it off.

"Now what?" asked Padme, unsure of what Qui-Gon Jinn was planning to do next.

Suddenly, Qui-Gon Jinn revealed what he was planning to do with the hole our heroes had been digging for the past half-hour or so.

"Let's bury Jar Jar Binks alive, shall we? All we have to do now is find him." suggested Qui-Gon Jinn.

"I thought that might be what you were planning." answered Obi-Wan Kenobi, who agreed that this would be a good idea to kill the Gungan once again. But where was he?

"What are yousa guys doing?" asked Jar Jar Binks. Conveniently, he had shown up at the perfect time.

Obi-Wan Kenobi quickly hit Jar Jar Binks on the head with his shovel, knocking him out cold.

"Quick, before he wakes up!" exclaimed Padme.

Our heroes (now with another person to help them kill a certain Gungan) then placed Jar Jar Binks in the hole, and proceeded to bury Jar Jar Binks alive underneath a ton of dirt. Once again, our heroes worked hard, but it was worth it, as Jar Jar Binks was immediately trapped underneath all the dirt.

Naturally, he eventually started to run out of oxygen from being inside that deep, dark hole for so long, and finally he died from being buried inside of it for too long. The hole our heroes had dug had ultimately become his grave.

The next day, our heroes unburied Jar Jar Binks from his sandy tomb (which yet again took a lot of work) and dragged his corpse outside of the hole, and then resurrected him using the Book of Resurrection so that they could try something like this in the near future.

_And so Qui-Gon Jinn is now helping our heroes kill Jar Jar Binks…it's always helpful to have an extra hand when you're killing people…not like I suggest doing something like that, including if it involves killing me or members of my family…_

_But this is a parody, so killing people within the story is OK…which is why I'll be once again accepting suggestions on how to kill the Gungan that has been ruining Star Wars for years (well, the Star Wars prequel trilogy anyway)._


	18. Cursed Tapes

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks is going to discover a mysterious tape…little does the Gungan know is that it's going to be his undoing…_

**Chapter 18: Cursed Tapes**

Our heroes were on a vacation at a hotel…as it turns out their hotel number was 666. Creepy and suspicious, no? Well anyways, once again Jar Jar Binks wanted to come along with them, so they reluctantly allowed him to go on with them while they spent a few nights at the hotel.

Just when they spent the last day there, Jar Jar Binks found a strange tape hidden underneath the mattress. He decided to watch it while the others were checking out of the hotel, curious to see what its contents were.

It was actually quite an unusual video tape, and quite the random one too. Jar Jar Binks had no idea why somebody would want to make a short video like this, but he thought it was somewhat entertaining, so he kept watching.

"Mesa wishes mesa brought popcorn." thought Jar Jar Binks.

Eventually, the video ended, and Jar Jar Binks thought about the weird tape that he had just watched. How that tape had gotten there, he had no idea.

Suddenly, the phone rang, and Jar Jar Binks went to answer it.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Seven days…" a strange voice answered him.

"Seven days? What do yousa mean by da?" he asked. But there was no answer, so he simply put down the phone.

As he left the hotel to join others, he could have sworn that he had heard crying coming from the bathroom. But Jar Jar Binks paid no attention to that.

_Seven days later…_

By the time the next week had arrived, Jar Jar Binks thought that there had been some crazy stuff going on lately. Animals kept attacking him (much to his delight of his "friends", who wanted to see Jar Jar Binks suffer), he kept hearing crying when nobody was around, and strangest of all, he discovered that he had not received a caller ID when he had been called by that mysterious person.

Jar Jar Binks decided to ignore this and simply watch TV due to boredom…when he noticed something was wrong. The TV turned on by itself, and there was nothing on except for a realistic-looking well, and Jar Jar Binks was unable to change the channel by using his remote.

"Dumb-dumb piece of junk!" screamed Jar Jar Binks in frustration. What was going on?

Suddenly, a girl came out of the wall and started walking towards him. Jar Jar Binks was initially confused by this, until suddenly she walked straight out of the TV!

"Oh mesa god!" shrieked Jar Jar Binks.

The strange girl then proceeded to show Jar Jar Binks her hideous face, giving him a fatal heart attack. She then disappeared, waiting for another victim to watch her video tape of doom.

Not long afterwards, Anakin, Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Padme Amidala discovered Jar Jar Binks' dead body.

"Alright, now what happened this time?" wondered Anakin. Crazy stuff like this had been happening to Jar Jar Binks for quite some time now, and he was starting to get tired of it.

"I don't know! As far as I know all that he was doing was watching TV…what could have happened to him?" asked Padme Amidala, just as confused as he was.

"Well, I suppose we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. At least he's died once again, am I right?" Qui-Gon Jinn suggested.

"Yes, I suppose. I still can't help but wonder what could have happened to him, though."

Our heroes resurrected Jar Jar Binks using the Book of Resurrection so they could kill him another day, unaware of what was responsible for his death.

_Yes, once again I have made a reference to a horror movie…can you guess which one? I'm sure a lot of you guessed which horror movie I referenced earlier…_

_Seeing though I've received so many suggestions at this point, I may want to use at least one of them in the future…but I'll have to decide which one…hmm…_

_In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter._


	19. Surprise Birthday Party

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Jar Jar Binks' birthday is in this particular chapter, so Anakin and his friends are going to make his birthday party to die for…(Yes, the pun was intended.)_

_Also, I believe that this chapter title is possibly the longest one yet…but I suppose that's not particularly important, is it? Just sit back and enjoy this new chapter, and watch Jar Jar Binks get slaughtered once again. (It never gets old, watching this miserable little Gungan get what he so richly deserves, doesn't he?)_

**Chapter 19: Surprise Birthday Party**

Today was Jar Jar Binks' birthday (and yet somehow our heroes did not know his current age), so Anakin, Qui-Gon Jinn, Padme Amidala, and Obi-Wan Kenobi were all getting prepared to celebrate the birth of the Gungan menace.

OK, maybe celebrating wasn't something our heroes were planning to do, seeing though how much they despised Jar Jar Binks. Instead, they were planning on putting Jar Jar Binks to death once again, and they thought that perhaps there would be a way to throw a birthday party while killing Jar Jar Binks at the same time.

But how exactly would they do something like that? It seemed quite unusual to kill Jar Jar Binks and throw his birthday party at the same time. They all scratched their heads on what to do.

Suddenly, Padme Amidala thought of something they could do to kill the irritating Gungan on his birthdsay, and they started to prepare a surprise party for Jar Jar Binks. Naturally, it was a surprise party of violence and death.

Just when everything was finally ready for the party (including the balloons, partyblowers, presents, and even the birthday clown), Anakin Skywalker turned off the lights, and our heroes waited for the Gungan to show up. Obi-Wan Kenobi stood guard to let them know if he was coming.

Soon enough he did come by after getting home from eating random insects, and Obi-Wan Kenobi told everyone to hide so he wouldn't notice that they were there until it was too late.

But where exactly would they hide? The answer was inside the giant birthday cake they had baked for Jar Jar.

And so our heroes hid inside the delicious cake of vanilla goodness, waiting for Jar Jar Binks to enter the house. Of course, he did not take long.

"Yoo-hoo? Anyone home?" Jar Jar Binks asked. He wondered why the house was so very dark.

Of course, our heroes were at home, who were looking forward to this very moment. Using the force to turn on the lights, our heroes all yelled "SURPRISE!", then proceeded to jump out of the cake and start savagely assaulting Jar Jar Binks with random weapons they had brought with them for the very purpose of killing the Gungan in the first place.

Jar Jar Binks died rapidly from shock and the fact that he could not handle being savagely assaulted by so many people at once. His birthday had ironically become his deathday.

Unfortunately, it seemed that Padme Amidala had somehow suffocated from being inside the birthday cake for so long, and our heroes had to resurrect her as well.

But this chapter wasn't over yet. Suddenly, Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization members burst out from the presents our heroes had bought for Jar Jar Binks (how they all managed to fit in there is beyond me) and proceeded to kidnap the five of them, hoping to brainwash them and murder Jar Jar Binks once again.

The birthday clown was then paid generously for informing the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization of our main protagonist's location in the galaxy. Yes, the birthday clown was actually a spy. What crazy thing will the organization think of next?

And so the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization drove over to the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Headquarters, ready to make the obnoxious Gungan suffer yet again for ruining the Star Wars prequel trilogy for virtually everyone, including possibly you.

_I told you the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization will show up again, didn't I? Our heroes are going to be brainwashed into killing Jar Jar Binks once again…and of course Jar Jar Binks will perish once again as well. I've got something already planned for him…which you'll find out in the next chapter._


	20. Electrocution

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Time for another chapter featuring the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization we all know and love at this point. Hopefully they can "persuade" our heroes to kill Jar Jar Binks some more…and actually do the job themselves._

_So let's start the next chapter, shall we? In case you haven't noticed, I've received a few reviews suggesting this already, so I hope they're satisfied by this…_

**Chapter 20: Electrocution**

When Jar Jar Binks came to, he realized he was not at home anymore. (No, a tornado had not whisked him away from home and towards the land of Oz, that's an entirely different story that you can watch on TV or read from a book, thank you very much.)

"What happened?" wondered Jar Jar Binks. The last thing he remembered before the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization abducted him was celebrating his birthday party with his friends (who were his mortal enemies at this point) Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Qui-Gon Jinn.

He decided to look around him to help him figure out where he was. He appeared to be in a building strangely familiar to him, but why was this place familiar to him exactly?

"Why do mesa get da feeling that mesa been here before?" wondered Jar Jar Binks, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu. He thought of when he had first been here along with his friends. Why exactly had he came there along with his friends if he hardly knew anything about this place?

Suddenly, he remembered something. Apparently, some men wearing some cloaks grabbed Jar Jar Binks and his friends and took them to this building once before. Jar Jar Binks was aware that his friends were being brainwashed for some reason, but what exactly were the cloaked people going to do to him?

Jar Jar Binks suddenly got his answer when two of the cloaked figures came into the room and grabbed the Gungan by his arms for his next execution.

"Wherea yousa guys taking mesa?" wondered Jar Jar Binks, naturally curious about what was going on.

Again, Jar Jar Binks rapidly got his answer. They took him towards a room containing a chair, but it wasn't like a chair that the Gungan had seen before. It looked like it was plugged into a socket, but why would a chair need one of those?

Suddenly, the two members of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization pushed him inside the chair and forced him to sit down inside of it, and quickly strapped him to the chair so that he couldn't escape.

"Let mesa go!" screamed Jar Jar Binks. Once again, his life was in mortal peril and there wasn't anything the stupid Gungan could do about it. In other words, he was doomed.

"Excellent! Now throw the switch!" ordered the leader of the Gungan-slaying organization.

One of the members did so, and immediately the electric chair activated and Jar Jar Binks received a ton of voltage. This was naturally lethal to Jar Jar Binks, who died almost instantly from all of the electricity flowing in his veins.

"That's not going to help us pay our electricity bill." pointed out one of the members. Indeed, coming up with new ways to kill Jar Jar Binks and actually executing him often took a lot of their funding.

"So what? The stupid Gungan is dead! We killed him! We did what had to be done! Ding dong the stupid Gungan is dead!" squealed another member.

"Yes yes I know. Now resurrect him using the Resurrection Book, I believe we've finished brainwashing his little friends." ordered their leader.

The two cloaked members of the Anti Jar-Jar Binks Organization did so, and Jar Jar Binks was back on his feet not long afterwards.

"The usefulness of this book is astounding." spoke one of the two members.

The Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization then loaded Jar Jar Binks back on the truck, along with his friends Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Qui-Gon Jinn (you should know who they are by now), for the simple purpose of allowing them to kill Jar Jar Binks again.

And they certainly would be doing so, and in more gruesome methods…

_I hope you reviewers got what you wanted…and keep water and electricity away from each other if you don't want to meet the same fate of Jar Jar Binks in this chapter, will you?_

_I'm just saying, it's not a good idea to play with electricity…just like it's not a good idea to play with fire…suffice to say it's probably not a good idea to try these killing methods at home (at least if you're not experienced)._

_So hopefully you'll stick around for the next few chapters, which should hopefully be coming soon._


	21. Hanging

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks 21

_Just to let you know, Jar Jar Binks will be dying in more gruesome ways as the story progresses, so I hope you guys aren't too squeamish…of course many of you will want Jar Jar Binks to die in such gruesome methods…so let's start this next batch of deaths with a classic execution method, shall we?_

**Chapter 21: Hanging**

After their second session of brainwashing from the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization (that we all know and love at this point), our heroes were once again plotting the death of the Gungan hated by many throughout the galaxy.

Deciding to read a book featuring various execution methods used regularly through the galaxy, our heroes decided on one that had been used by many of them, using a rope to snap an alien criminal's neck.

After buying some rope from a nearby store, Anakin Skywalker was then sent to fetch Jar Jar Binks for his next execution. He found him nearby standing in a heavily populated city.

Once again, Jar Jar Binks was doing something that ticked off many Star Wars fans, and that was blowing raspberries at other aliens. Anakin Skywalker would not tolerate that, and proceeded to drag Jar Jar Binks by the arm.

"Hey! Wherea yousa taking mesa?" asked Jar Jar Binks, curious as to why Anakin Skywalker suddenly grabbed his arm.

"I'm taking you to hang out with your friends." Anakin Skywalker replied, making a pun as he did so as he took Jar Jar Binks away from the city. (After all, they wouldn't be able to kill Jar Jar Binks in public, now would they?)

"Oh! Mesa love hanging out with mesa friends!" Jar Jar Binks told Anakin, unaware as to what exactly he meant by "hanging out" with his "friends".

Anakin Skywalker, still grabbing Jar Jar Binks' arm, proceeded to take the Gungan to where he would be hanged. Quickly, Anakin and the others placed Jar Jar Binks on a stool and wrapped the rope around his neck.

"What are yousa guys doing?" asked Jar Jar Binks. He still had no idea what was going on, which made the task of killing him all the easier.

"Now!" ordered Obi-Wan Kenobi, apparently wanting the execution to be wrapped us quickly in case Jar Jar Binks somehow ruined the execution.

Anakin Skywalker suddenly kicked the stool underneath Jar Jar Binks' ugly feet, and immediately the rope proceeded to break Jar Jar Binks' long neck and cut off his oxygen, rapidly killing him.

"I thought this would work." stated Qui-Gon Jinn, satisfied with their latest murder.

Our heroes then resurrected Jar Jar Binks using the Book of Resurrection, causing his neck to be repaired and oxygen to return to his lungs, effectively reversing our protagonists' lethal actions.

"I have to admit, the Resurrection Book can be pretty creepy." thought Padme Amidala.

"Just be glad that he doesn't remember what we keep doing to him, otherwise things would be a lot more difficult." replied Anakin Skywalker. Indeed, things would be a lot more difficult if Jar Jar Binks started to defend himself from his regular murderers.

Our heroes then put the rope away in case they needed to restrain Jar Jar Binks for a further killing method, which they probably would depending on what they ultimately decided upon.

_Yes, I have received this lethal suggestion at least once, which is why I decided to use this execution method for killing Jar Jar Binks. Besides, I decided it would be funny witnessing Jar Jar Binks being killed like that._

_In fact, I plan on using some more of these review suggestions in the near future…so hopefully yours will be picked! Once again, I won't always use these suggestions, but they will be appreciated! I'm personally fond of using creative ones…as shown by the ones that reference horror icons…so I suppose those will help._

_So feel free to leave any reviews! Did I mention this is currently my most reviewed story? Crazy huh? So goodbye!_


	22. Defenestration

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Once again, this execution method is quite the simple one…killing Jar Jar Binks through tossing him out the window! I'll be using a fancier word for this method of killing people however…as you can see by the chapter title. So enjoy this latest chapter of how to kill a certain Gungan that doomed the republic…_

_Personally, I'm surprised I even spelled the word properly…and on my first try no less!_

**Chapter 22: Defenestration**

Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn were hanging out (not to be confused with the last execution method our heroes performed on Jar Jar Binks at a particular large apartment building at an irrelevant planet in the galaxy that its citizens had yet to decide a name for and simply relaxing…

Until the demonic Gungan Jar Jar Binks stopped by, and started annoying our heroes once again. (He seriously needs to get a new hobby, doesn't he?)

"Yahoo guys! What's up?" squealed Jar Jar Binks.

"Can't you see that we're trying to have some peace and quiet, Jar Jar? If you're going to keep bugging us, then leave us alone." Anakin Skywalker told him.

Jar Jar Binks then started jumping on the bed. "Whee! Dis is fun!" exclaimed Jar Jar Binks. This immensely frustrated Padme Amidala, who had just finished sorting that bed.

Naturally, Jar Jar Binks got progressively more annoying as he continued to bother our heroes time and time again…and Anakin, Padme, Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon got more and more angry as he continued to annoy them constantly.

Suddenly, they noticed that there was a window conveniently right next to Jar Jar as he started licking Qui-Gon Jinn with his tongue (much to his disgust), and they all got their next idea for killing the Gungan.

"Hey Jar Jar, could you hold still for a minute?" asked Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Jar Jar Binks did as he was asked, surprisingly.

"Now wait right here for a second." Obi-Wan Kenobi told the Gungan.

Again, Jar Jar Binks did as he was asked.

As Jar Jar Binks was wondering why Obi-Wan Kenobi had told him to stay still for the time being, suddenly, Anakin Skywalker pushed Jar Jar Binks straight out of the window, shattering it into pieces as he did so.

"AAH!" screamed Jar Jar Binks. Jar Jar Binks fell several stories, eventually hitting the hard pavement. Jar Jar Binks died from injuries sustained from broken glass and the fact that his body could not tolerate falling so many floors.

Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn then used the elevator to head to the first floor to retrieve Jar Jar Binks' body, using the Book of Resurrection to resurrect his carcass before anyone in the building noticed. (In fact, many people heard his dying screams, but were unsure where exactly in the hotel they came from)

But there was still one problem, how were they going to repair the window they had broken? It would certainly cost them a lot of money to get them repaired, and that was cash that they did not have. Given that there were many broken pieces of glass on the sidewalk of the apartment, it would possibly be only a matter of time before somebody discovered that it was broken.

Suddenly, Obi-Wan Kenobi got an idea and started searching through the Book of Resurrection. As it turned out, there was a spell in the Book of Resurrection that could be used to repair any injuries that a victim had sustained, in case an attempt on a victim's life somehow went awry.

Obi-Wan Kenobi then decided to test if it also worked on vandalized property, and as it turns out, it actually did. The window was repaired within seconds as the broken pieces returned to the window.

"This spell is going to be a livesaver." stated Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Well, seeing though that the Book of Resurrection is filled with healing magic, this book is technically filled with livesaving spells…" Qui-Gon Jinn pointed out.

"Yes, I'm aware of that at this point." answered Obi-Wan Kenobi. "I just thought that particular spell was heavily useful."

Our heroes then left the apartment and headed back to the galaxy, waiting for the next opportunity to arise to claim Jar Jar Binks' life.

_I hope you enjoy this chapter, because I'll likely be trying similar killing methods in the future. It's just too hilarious to pass up…_

_Of course, I'll be doing other methods as well…I particularly liked setting Jar Jar Binks on fire, using poison gas on him, and electrocuting him with an electric chair…can't decide on a favorite one though…_

_So feel free to leave any suggestions in the reviews…as usual. I've actually used some of them already…such as the fire suggestion listed above (there's a reason why it's killing method 7)…so I get the feeling that I'll be using more suggestions in the future…_


	23. Rick Rolling

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Let's see if our heroes "will never give up" coming up with ideas to kill Jar Jar Binks, shall we?_ _As it turns out, they've already come up with a nasty execution method…one that will live down in infamy!_

**Chapter 23: Rick Rolling**

Hearing about how people have been putting videos on the Internet simply to make them listen to Rick Athley's singing, Anakin Skywalker got the next idea on how to kill Jar Jar Binks, forcing him to listen to the singers' songs until his Gungan body reached its breaking point.

Telling Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Qui-Gon Jinn about this new idea to kill Jar Jar Binks, they decided it was worth a shot, although they weren't sure if it would actually work.

While Jar Jar Binks was occupied eating a delicious sandwich, our heroes grabbed Jar Jar Binks, took him to another room, and tied him to a chair.

"What are yousa guys doing? Let mesa go!" screamed Jar Jar Binks. But again Jar Jar Binks was left to his grisly fate.

Jar Jar Binks looked around him, and noticed that there was a computer on a table right next to him. Jar Jar Binks was very confused by this.

"Now what's goin' on?" wondered Jar Jar Binks.

Anakin Skywalker then turned on the computer and started typing in the search engine "Never Give You Up." Soon enough he found videos on the internet featuring Rick Athley's singing, and a big smile formed on his face.

"Mesa got a bad feeling about this." thought Jar Jar Binks. Evidently, nothing good was going to happen to the Gungan.

Anakin Skywalker then clicked on one of the videos, hit the playback button, and left the room while Jar Jar Binks was forced to listen to the horrible song known as "Never Gonna Give You Up" as it replayed over and over again.

"Aargh! Make it stop!" screamed Jar Jar Binks. As it turns out, not even he could stand the incredibly evil song. And to make matters worse, he could not even cover his ears, due to the fact that he was still tied to a chair.

Jar Jar Binks was also forced to listen to Rick Athley's other songs, which did nothing to assist him as he went through this endless wave of demonic singing.

After listening to Rick Athley's singing for about an hour or so, Jar Jar Binks finally snapped. And then the most spectacular thing happened. Jar Jar Binks' miniscule brain exploded inside his head! This was obviously fatal to the Gungan, who died shortly afterwards.

Anakin Skywalker then walked in and turned off the video along with his friends.

"Wow, I'm very impressed!" stated Padme Amidala, surprised at how effective the songs were at killing people.

"Let's hope nobody has to listen to that horrible song ever again…except for Jar Jar Binks." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Yes, these songs are without a doubt the worst songs in the galaxy…except for perhaps Baby or Friday…" Qui-Gon Jinn pointed out.

Our heroes then resurrected Jar Jar Binks using the Book of Resurrection in case for whatever reason they wanted him to listen to another horrible song. There certainly were a lot of them out there…

_Let this be a lesson to those Youtubers that like to pull pranks on people! Anyways, I'll be thinking of more ways to kill Jar Jar Binks in the future as before…although I'll probably just use a suggestion that you helpful reviewers have thought of…_

_And ah yes…if you ever encounter one of Rick Athley's videos, make sure to mute it or exit out of it as soon as possible! It'll be helpful to your health…_


	24. Heart Attack

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Qui-Gon Jinn are going to scare Jar Jar Binks to death…I hope you enjoy this "scary" chapter!_

**Chapter 24: Heart Attack**

Our heroes once again thought about how to kill Jar Jar Binks. They had killed him many times now, and they had finally developed a bad case of murderer's block…

"What do we do guys? We've tried just about everything we can think of…we've set him on fire…the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization has electrocuted him and used poison gas on him…basically we're in strife." stated Padme Amidala.

"What are we supposed to do now? Wait until Jar Jar Binks dies of a heart attack or something?" Anakin Skywalker asked sarcastically.

Suddenly, the four of them got an idea how to kill the Gungan from that question alone. They would scare the Gungan to death by being as scary as possible…

"You are a genius, my apprentice! You have made us all proud!" Obi-Wan Kenobi exclaimed.

"I am?" questioned Anakin Skywalker curiously.

Our heroes then went to a costume store in order to get costumes. Anakin Skywalker chose a Darth Vader costume (yes, he chose to go as himself in the future), Padme Amidala chose a Medusa costume, Obi-Wan Kenobi chose a vampire costume, and Qui-Gon Jinn chose a werewolf costume.

Now all that was left now was to go home and find Jar Jar Binks. Taking a space shuttle, our heroes headed back home.

Pretty soon they found Jar Jar Binks, who was busy sleeping on top of a coach, snoring peacefully as he did so.

"Zzz…Mesa da evil incarnate…zzz…" sleeptalked Jar Jar Binks.

Yelling out an enormous "BOO!" at the top of their lungs, our heroes surprised Jar Jar Binks, who woke up immediately. Upon seeing the four monsters (actually his friends in disguise, of course) in front of him, he immediately panicked.

"AAH!" screamed Jar Jar Binks. After a few minutes of screaming and running around the room, Jar Jar Binks' heart suddenly stopped and he fell on the floor, rolling around as if he was having a seizure. As this was one of his vital organs we were talking about, Jar Jar Binks lost his soul once again.

Our heroes took their costumes off shortly afterwards and put them away now that their task was complete.

"Wow, I'm surprised that actually worked." spoke Padme Amidala.

"Yeah well, Jar Jar Binks wasn't the bravest citizen in the galaxy." replied Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"You can say that again." Anakin Skywalker said, still surprised at how easily Jar Jar Binks was killed by their latest scheme.

"By the way, how much did we pay for these costumes?" Qui-Gon Jinn asked.

"We didn't pay much, don't worry." answered Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Our heroes pulled out the Resurrection Book and said the magic words, and pretty soon Jar Jar Binks' heart started beating again. He then went back to sleep.

"Zzz…Mesa love torturing people…zzz…" sleeptalked Jar Jar Binks once again.

"What is he dreaming out anyway?" Anakin Skywalker wondered.

"We probably don't want to know." suggested Padme Amidala.

_And so our heroes have frightened Jar Jar Binks to the point where he experienced heart failure...suffice to say I wouldn't recommend trying to scare animals with particularly fast heart rates…or any kind of animal, for that matter, it wouldn't be good for their health...or your health for that matter depending on how they reacted._

_So I bid you farewell for the time being as I go over the reviews you keep on sending me…_


	25. Dark Magic

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, our heroes are going to execute Jar Jar Binks' through a somewhat ironic method, using the same book we all know and love that has resurrected Jar Jar Binks time and time again…the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization Book (which we simply call the Resurrection Book simply because it's shorter)_

_What exactly will happen? You'll find out soon enough._

**Chapter 25: Dark Magic**

Anakin Skywalker was shuffling through the Book of Resurrection, reading its vast contents that had been written by the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization for the purpose of serving as a guide in the purpose of executing Jar Jar Binks repeatedly for the sake of the organization that despises him so much.

There certainly was a lot of useful information in the book, such as information about the targeted Gungan, Jar Jar Binks himself. It had so many pages that Anakin Skywalker was surprised that it wasn't heavy for him to lift. Thankfully, it had an index so that they could go to any part of the book at any time depending on what they desired to read about.

There was also information about effective ways of killing the Gungan such as the fact that Gungans were intolerant to heat due to being amphibian-like, which Anakin kept in mind for later in case he was running out of ideas and/or wanted to try something new on the Gungan.

And of course there were several magic spells in the book, including the resurrection spell on the last page to be used whenever Jar Jar Binks got killed, whether it was through the actions of the Anti-Jar Jar BInks Organization or through the people they had brainwashed.

Curious, Anakin Skywalker decided to turn to the first page of the Book of Resurrection, and discovered that there was a killing spell inside of the magical book as well.

Immediately, a smile formed on his face as he realized the next method he and the others would use to kill Jar Jar Binks, and he went to alert the others about what he had found inside the book.

Soon enough he found them simply relaxing on a couch, apparently not occupied with anything at the moment, which of course was the perfect opportunity for what Anakin Skywalker was plotting.

"So let me get this straight, not only is there a resurrection spell in that book, but there's a killing spell inside the book as well?" Padme Amidala asked.

"There certainly is. All we have to do is find Jar Jar Binks and then test it out on him." Anakin Skywalker told her.

"I have to admit, the writers of this book thought of everything." Obi-Wan Kenobi complimented.

"By the way, where is Jar Jar Binks? Something tells me he's causing trouble again." Qui-Gon Jinn suggested.

As it turns out, he was trying to eat a fly and having difficulty doing so, causing a lot of damage to the intergalactic estate our heroes resided in the process.

"JAR JAR!" they all screamed in frustration, peeling their hairs out at the objects Jar Jar Binks had broken simply because he was hungry.

"Oops, sorry!" Jar Jar Binks apologized.

Once again the obnoxious Gungan had pushed our heroes' buttons. Immediately, our heroes started reciting the killing spell from the Book of Resurrection.

"What yousa guys reading?" Jar Jar Binks asked.

Suddenly, a green light shot out of the book and headed straight towards Jar Jar Binks.

"Wow! What a pretty light!" exclaimed Jar Jar Binks.

Soon enough Jar Jar Binks was hit by the zooming green light of death, killing Jar Jar Binks instantly. He fell on the floor, sticking his long tongue out as he did so, simply to make it clear that he was utterly dead.

"Well, would you look at that? Jar Jar Binks is dead once again! This spell works!" Anakin Skywalker exclaimed.

"Well, what did you expect? The resurrection spell in this book works, why wouldn't the killing spell work?" replied Padme Amidala.

"All I can see is that the spell killed Jar Jar Binks awfully quickly…" Obi-Wan Kenobi thought.

"Again, the resurrection spell was fast, so why wouldn't the killing spell be fast too?" Padme Amidala once again pointed out.

"Let's watch the book work his magic again, shall we?" Qui-Gon Jinn suggested.

And so our heroes resurrected Jar Jar Binks using the same book that had prevently killed him (which you may call the Killing Book at this point) so they can finish the chapter and kill the alien once more for the satisfaction of the galaxy.

Of course, they also used the Reparation Spell to repair the large amounts of damage Jar Jar Binks had caused in his disastrous attempt to eat a flying insect, but that was relatively unimportant…

_Well, I'm a quarter done with the story already…this story has gone fast, hasn't it? Jar Jar Binks has died 25 times now…and I plan on killing him many more times…what's a guy to do?_

_In the meantime, I'll probably be working on other stories…but of course, I might simply decide to stick to this story for the time being, seeing though it's gotten so popular and I doubt my audience would be happy if I didn't finish it…_

_Anyways, I suppose the deaths can only get more family-unfriendly from here…so I'll probably start accepting suggestions that are a bit more gruesome…so I hope you guys are happy!_


	26. Swamp Slugs

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_I've gotten a lot of suggestions lately…just to let you know, I will eventually be using Jabba and the carbonite suggestion…but I'll be doing so at my own pace…so don't suggest that anymore OK? It's starting to get on my nerves…_

_I have actually come up with similar suggestions to those two (one of which I'm using right now and one I'll be using in the near future), so I hope you'll be happy for the time being…_

_So enjoy this new chapter!_

**Chapter 26: Swamp Slug**

Once again our heroes were plotting the death of a Gungan they had united against. This time, they decided to feed him to yet another creature in the galaxy, a Swamp Slug from the planet Dagobah. It had been a while since they actually tried to feed Jar Jar Binks to a carnivorous creature, so Anakin Skywalker decided it would be a good time to do so.

"Haven't we fed him to a few creatures already?" wondered Padme curiously.

"And haven't we gone to Dagobah before?" Obi-Wan Kenobi asked Anakin Skywalker.

"I know I know, I just thought that this would be an entertaining method to dispose of the Gungan."

"If you say so." replied Qui-Gon Jinn.

And so our heroes convinced Jar Jar Binks to hop aboard their space shuttle as they flew towards Dagobah, unaware that this was where he would die once again, or to be more specific to be eaten there for the second time.

After dropping Jar Jar Binks onto this swamp slug-infested part of the planet, our heroes then took Jar Jar Binks towards his latest death trap.

"Wow! Look at all thesa slugs!" Jar Jar Binks exclaimed with astonishment.

Suddenly, one of them came up to Jar Jar Binks…

"Aww! It like mesa!" Jar Jar Binks assumed incorrectly.

Suddenly the swamp slug swallowed Jar Jar Binks whole. Jar Jar Binks rapidly died from being digested by the giant slug due to the fact that the large amounts of stomach acid inside it gave him third-degree burns.

Well, that and there was no oxygen inside of the slug either, meaning that he suffocated.

Our heroes were then forced to attempt to give the swamp slug the Heimlich maneuver in order to get it to spit Jar Jar Binks' body out unfortunately, due to the fact that unlike before, no trace had been left behind of Jar Jar Binks' body. Surprisingly and fortunately, they managed to succeed without being eaten alive as well. Well, except for Qui-Gon Jinn, but they managed to get him out too using the same method.

Suddenly, some dragon snakes came by and started fighting the swamp slugs, which forced our heroes to flee and save Jar Jar Binks' body for later murder…

…at least until the dragon snakes and swamp slugs noticed Jar Jar Binks' corpse and quickly remembered how annoying he was and the fact that he was infamous for being so throughout the galaxy, decided to put aside their differences simply to bring down the Gungan menace, not unlike many members of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization and subsequently left the area to plot his next death.

Surprised at this astonishing turn of events, our heroes retrieved Jar Jar Binks' and Qui Gon Jinn's bodies and flew back into their fancy space shuttle, ready to continue killing Jar Jar Binks for many deaths to come.

How would they kill him next? The galaxy would never know until it actually happened…which naturally would not take long.

_The first quarter of Jar Jar Binks' deaths are done, now the second and more grisly quarter is coming…what deaths will be part of it? Can you guess? Or do you have any suggestions to leave for me as usual?_

_I've currently got my own ideas for the time being however…so I probably won't accept them right now…but it's still appreciated!_


	27. Hyperthermia

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, we'll learn about hot temperatures' dangerous effects on Gungans…and how Jar Jar Binks will die this time around…_

**Chapter 27: Hyperthermia**

After reading in his handy dandy Book of Resurrection on effective methods on killing Gungans such as Jar Jar Binks, Anakin Skywalker decided to execute Jar Jar Binks by causing him to encounter more heat than his body could handle.

"I knew just the place to find it." Anakin Skywalker thought, preparing for his next execution of the most annoying alien in the galaxy and possibly the universe.

He decided to do so himself this time around without help from his friends and accessories in his murders, as he felt that they were unnecessary this time around.

Picking up Jar Jar Binks (who was lying down on a chair at the time) and tying him with some knotted hemp (AKA rope) right next to a conveniently located blast furnace, Anakin Skywalker waited for its fiery magic to set in.

"Why yousa tie mesa next to dat hot furnace?" asked Jar Jar Binks, oblivious as usual to what was going on (even though it was evidently obvious at that particular point).

"Farewell, old friend! I'll be seeing you later as a force ghost! Or in another life, perhaps!" Anakin Skywalker said an untearful goodbye to the Gungan as he left him to his gruesome fate.

Pretty soon Jar Jar Binks began to feel really sweaty from being so close to that furnace as his body temperature started to go up.

"Mesa jobbin' up a sweat." thought Jar Jar Binks.

Suddenly he started seeing double from his brain having a nasty concussion.

"Whya mesa see two furnaces? Mesa thought der was only onesa." wondered Jar Jar Binks.

Eventually his head began to hurt really badly and he started vomiting all over the floor and on himself.

"Yuck! Mesa head hurts! Mesa vomiting all over da floor!" exclaimed Jar Jar Binks.

Finally, he went into a coma that he would never wake up from (until the Resurrection Book was used on him again of course).

"Mesa take a nap." were Jar Jar Binks' last words.

"If you can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen, Jar Jar Binks." laughed Anakin Skywalker at his latest grisly work as he pulled out his Resurrection Book in order to recite the magic spell that had been used time and time again.

Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Qui-Gon Jinn came by a short while afterwards to admire Anakin's handiwork and his latest death of the Gungan.

"I did it all myself!" Anakin Skywalker acknowledged his comrades. "Man was it easy!" he exclaimed.

"Why didn't we think of this before? We could have done it ages ago!" asked Padme Amidala.

"Ah yes, Gungans are known to despise heat, it's a side-effect of being so amphibian-like." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Let's resurrect him, I've got a similar idea we can use on him." suggested Qui-Gon Jinn.

Our heroes resurrected Jar Jar Binks using the Book of Resurrection, causing him to come back to life and his body temperature to magically go down.

Qui Gon Jinn then took Jar Jar Binks away, in order to pull off his own scheme of murdering the Gungan for the second time that day.

_Like Anakin Skywalker said, if you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen….you know, maybe I could come up with more post-mortem quotes….it'd probably be funny given who the victim always is…_

_In the next chapter, Qui-Gon Jinn will murder Jar Jar Binks using the exact opposite method…can you guess what it is?_

_I'll leave it to you to find out._


	28. Hypothermia

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die in the exact opposite method he died the last time…from encountering more cold than his body can handle! How about that, huh? To think that the human body can die from both heat and cold, it's kind of crazy, isn't it? Of course there are a lot of ways one can die, as you can tell from this list…_

_Of course I've probably said too much. Let's begin this chapter and watch Jar Jar suffer, shall we?_

**Chapter 28: Hypothermia**

Qui-Gon Jinn took Jar Jar Binks away to where his next death would be, in a refrigerator.

"Wherea yousa taking mesa?" asked Jar Jar Binks.

"Oh, nowhere particular." Qui-Gon Jinn stated as he took the Gungan towards the fridge.

"Whya is der no munchy in da fridge?" wondered Jar Jar Binks curiously.

Suddenly, Qui-Gon Jinn pushed Jar Jar Binks inside and locked him in, trapping him inside the extremely cold incubating device.

"Let mesa out of here!" screamed Jar Jar Binks. But of course if Qui-Gon Jinn did that we wouldn't be writing a story about his death, so he did not.

Quickly, Jar Jar Binks started shivering.

"It's cold in here." thought Jar Jar Binks.

Suddenly his fingers started to turn white, and he couldn't feel them at all.

"Mesa can't feel mesa fingers!" exclaimed Jar Jar Binks.

Eventually his entire body turned white as a sheet, which the exception from his toes, fingers, lips, and whatever Gungans used for ears, which turned blue instead. Also, Jar Jar Binks could not move his hands anymore.

"Whya mesa look like ice cream? And whya can't mesa move mesa hands?" wondered Jar Jar Binks.

Eventually Jar Jar Binks died from being inside the refrigerator for so long as his vital organs began to shut down. Qui-Gon Jinn had been very patient.

"Mesa feels like a snowman." Jar Jar Binks stated, right before he finally died.

Qui-Gon Jinn took Jar Jar Binks out of the fridge afterwards, and carried his body to the others who were awaiting the good news.

"Great job, Qui-Gon!" congratulated Anakin Skywalker.

"Ding dong the Gungan is dead!" stated Padme Amidala.

"I wonder if this once again has to do with Gungan skin…" wondered Obi-Wan Kenobi, remembering Jar Jar Binks' earlier death.

Afterwards, our heroes read out of the Resurrection Book in order to bring Jar Jar Binks back into the world of the living once again, reading the words which I will not give you due to the fact I do not want you communing with the dead and potentially triggering an undead apocalypse.

Jar Jar Binks came back to life as his body temperature went back up, and our heroes began thinking about the next way to kill him.

_You guessed it, Jar Jar Binks was going to die from hypothermia…and so ends the small arc of executing Jar Jar Binks by playing with his body temperature…in the next chapter, I'll be using a suggestion that had been sitting there for quite some time…I won't be saying which one, but I can tell you that you'll probably like it, I can give you that._

_So be patient and wait for the next chapter and I start to work on a few other stories of mine, I've gotten several of them at this point…and I have no idea why I keep writing them._

_I'll give you a hint like I did before, it's similar to what Grand Moff Tarkin (one of the worst villains in Star Wars) did to a bunch of tax protestors….it wasn't very pretty…_

_So I'll be looking at your reviews until then!_


	29. Vulture Droid

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks is going to die through one of the methods suggested by my loyal fanbase…being crushed by a vulture droid! You may have guessed it by now, but today's the day I've finally decided to pull it off. Let's see how it turns out, shall we?_

**Chapter 29: Vulture Droid**

Our heroes were shuffling through killing suggestions given through several people who also hated Jar Jar Binks, wondering if they had come up with anything good. Soon enough Anakin Skywalker found a suggestion.

"Let's see…ah here's one I particularly like!" suggested Anakin Skywalker, picking one out at random. "Let's crush Jar Jar Binks with a vulture droid, shall we?"

"There's one problem. We don't have a vulture droid." informed Padme Amidala of the unfortunate truth.

"Dang it!" Anakin clenched his head in frustration. They had been so close to killing Jar Jar!

"That's not an issue; we can simply steal one from the Galactic Empire. I'm positive that they have at least one." replied Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"If you say so." answered Qui-Gon Jinn, still unsure if that would work.

Soon enough after they began searching they found two stormtroopers standing outside one of them. Our heroes could not believe their fortune.

Our heroes knocked out the Stormtroopers using sledge hammers, and proceeded to fly it where Jar Jar Binks was waiting patiently for the cookies our heroes had promised him but he would never get.

"Where is mesa cookies? Why are thesa taking so longo?" wondered Jar Jar Binks. He was so hungry!

Suddenly, he thought he saw something in distance that was heading straight towards him.

"Hey! Maybe it's thesa! Come here guys!" ordered Jar Jar Binks.

Our heroes came for Jar Jar Binks….

And landed straight on top of him, crushing him underneath the battleship and causing him pain.

"Ouchies! Mesa crushed!" Jar Jar Binks screamed.

"Squished like a pancake." taunted Anakin Skywalker.

Jar Jar Binks died shortly afterwards due to the fact that his entire rib cage had been crushed by the vulture droid, and the fact that one of the ribs had punctured his heart in the process.

"Vulture droids is heavy." thought Jar Jar Binks as he died.

Our heroes were about to step out of the space vehicle and resurrect him using the sacred book that they had in their possession for so long, when suddenly a green tractor beam suddenly started picking them up, lifting them into the sky and into space, much to their horror and surprise.

"What's going on? There's a strange green light right outside the window!" wondered Anakin Skywalker.

"Something's wrong! We're being lifted in the air and into space! Did someone start the engine?" questioned Padme Amidala.

"No, the ship is moving on its own! Something horrible must be happening!" confirmed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"We must be getting abducted by hostile citizens of the galaxy!" screamed Qui-Gon Jinn.

"AAH!" they all shrieked. Were they doomed? Had their guardian angels abandoned them? Were they going to be dissected? Were they going to have their brains scrambled?

As it turns out, their abductors were not hostile Martians (or any type of hostile space alien common in science fiction for that matter). In fact, they weren't even hostile to anyone save for a certain Gungan they longed to destroy time and time again.

They were the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization, who were now getting ready to brainwash our heroes once again as well as the task of killing Jar Jar Binks themselves, plans they would execute as soon as the vulture droid was on board.

"Pull them in! We've almost got them!" ordered their leader.

"I'm glad someone had the eye to locate them." complimented a member of the organization.

"What can I say? I have a lot of eyes!" stated a multi-eyed alien that had located our heroes after they had killed Jar Jar Binks.

Soon enough the vulture droid was onboard the enormous spaceship. Several members ran into the vulture droid and knocked out our heroes, and they proceeded to take the heroes towards the brainwashing chamber, with the exception of Jar Jar Binks, who they resurrected with the resurrection book using the same spell our heroes had used before.

"Now then, what should we do with him?" asked the leader of the organization.

"I've got something that we could do with him." answered another member of the organization.

"Really? Let's hear it. Surely you can come up with a good suggestion." ordered their leader.

The member of the organization whispered into the great leader's ear, and a wide smile formed on his face.

"That's a great idea, Kenny! We'll execute it right now." the great leader ordered.

The members of the organization shoved Jar Jar Binks into a package, and proceeded to mail it towards a planet in the galaxy. It drove away at quite a high speed.

As they did so, the vulture droid that our heroes previously piloted suddenly fell on the member that had suggested the idea in the first place while the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization wasn't paying attention to it, killing him.

"NO! THEY KILLED KENNY! WHY WHY?" screeched a member of the organization, shocked that his friend had died.

"Calm down, Stan. We can simply resurrect him using the Resurrection Book just as we have always used this book to resurrect the Gungan we created this organization for in the first place." the leader soothed the upset member.

And so the member of the organization that had died was resurrected, and everything was happy again.

Meanwhile, Jar Jar Binks was rapidly approaching his destination where he would meet his untimely fate…one that was somewhat culinary in nature.

_Looks like we have a cliffhanger here folks! Not to worry, what will happen to Jar Jar Binks will be revealed in the next chapter…which should be arriving soon just like Jar Jar Binks will arrive to his grave…_

_Any ideas to where and how he will die? Anyone?_


	30. Jabba the Hutt

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Since my fans suggested it, and it was an idea I actually thought of myself, I'm going to kill Jar Jar Binks by using Jabba the Hutt. I hope you enjoy watching the Gungan becoming his dinner. I certainly will._

**Chapter 30: Jabba the Hutt**

Jabba the Hutt sat on his throne next to his half-naked slave girls who were currently dancing to his lustful delight, waiting for his delicious supper to arrive.

Porcellus said that he would arrive with dinner for Jabba in just a minute, but he simply could not wait that long. He wanted food now! He was starving!

Suddenly, his majordomo Bib Fortuna came by, stating that a strange package had been delivered toward him by an unknown organization. Jabba the Hutt decided to accept the package despite the likelihood of it containing a bomb (as many hated the Hutt, including his own minions), wondering what was inside.

Soon enough Jar Jar Binks jumped straight out of the package despite being stuffed in it for so long; glad to be finally free from his long stay inside. Surprisingly, he had not died from the lack of oxygen, and was still alive and well.

"Hey? Where is mesa?" wondered Jar Jar Binks as he looked around him. The last thing he had remembered was being stuffed inside a package and being sent somewhere else in the galaxy. Now he appeared to be in a castle of some kind. Where could he possibly be?

As it turned out, Jabba's Palace was the shuttle's final destination, and where Jar Jar Binks would die once more.

Jar Jar Binks looked at Jabba the Hutt rather curiously. "Wow, yousa one fat slug!" Jar Jar Binks expressed his thoughts, insulting Jabba in the process.

Almost immediately, every black-hearted scoundrel started to feel annoyed at the Gungan as he continued doing things that disturbed them. Eventually said annoyance turned to hatred, and they began plotting against Jar Jar Binks more than they plotted against Jabba the Hutt.

Eventually, the last straw came when Jar Jar Binks broke one of Jabba the Hutt's stolen treasures, which as it turns out was a priceless artifact. The intergalactic crime lord was enraged.

Suddenly, he noticed that Jar Jar Binks would make a fine snack for him, given that Gungans were an amphibious species.

Suddenly, Jabba's appetite and his temper both gave in at once, and he proceeded to swallow Jar Jar Binks whole and into his enormous mouth. He licked his lips shortly afterwards, and let out a large burp that shook the palace to its foundations.

"Whoa! Mesa must have been swallowed!" Jar Jar Binks realized. Soon enough, digestion set in for the helpless Gungan, and Jar Jar Binks died from the vast quantity of stomach acid inside the giant slug.

Porcellus's dinner came by shortly afterwards after Jabba the Hutt had finished eating Jar Jar.

"Took you look enough!" the crime lord stated as he began feasting on his meal, still hungry after eating the Gungan that even he thought was evil.

The members of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization read from the resurrection book a few minutes later, causing Jabba to suddenly regurgitate Jar Jar Binks' carcass as it suddenly came back to life.

The Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization then broke into Jabba's Palace and picked up Jar Jar Binks, taking him back towards his "friends", allowing them to plot nastier schemes against the Gungan that would lead to more gruesome fates for the designated victim.

In fact, several of the criminals that had developed a vendetta against Jar Jar Binks decided to leave Jabba's employ in order to assist the organization in whatever they wanted to do to the Gungan, although the enormous blob did not notice.

_That's right, Jar Jar Binks became Jabba the Hutt's dinner! Fitting, since he enjoys eating amphibians…anyways in the next chapter our heroes will once again resume executing Jar Jar Binks for the galaxy and save the universe! Sort of._

_Once again, I'm always up for suggestions…I'll be choosing new methods of deaths for the next few chapters…so I certainly hope that you enjoy them and laugh as Jar Jar Binks repeatedly dies._


	31. Drunk Driving

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_And so we continue on with this rather hateful fic targeted against a certain little Gungan…_

_In this chapter we'll learn why drunk driving is not allowed in most societies and why it can get your driver's license taken away from you…of course Jar Jar Binks is naturally going to learn this the hard way as he meets another comedic death and his haters squeal with glee as he does so._

**Chapter 31: Drunk Driving**

For this depraved scheme of murder, Obi-Wan Kenobi had a particular suggestion in mind that he wanted to put into action…having Jar Jar Binks drive a space shuttle…

…while he was incredibly intoxicated.

After he and Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, and Qui-Gon Jinn finished purchasing some alcohol from a local bar for the purpose of getting Jar Jar killed, Obi-Wan Kenobi proceeded to offer his worst enemy some beer, liquor, and basically every alcoholic beverage there was, hoping that he would accept it and become hopelessly drunk.

"Yay! Mesa love beer!" stated Jar Jar Binks happily; guzzling every beverage Kenobi had given him. Due to the fact that he had died previously due to alcoholic poisoning, Obi-Wan Kenobi was careful not to let the obnoxious alien drink too much alcohol this time around, taking it away from him as soon as he vomited all over the floor.

Pretty soon the Gungan was intoxicated to the point where he could hardly see properly, and Obi-Wan Kenobi proceeded to the next stage of the plan, which was actually getting Jar Jar Binks inside the shuttle so that he would drive his way towards his death.

Putting Jar Jar into the space shuttle that would lead to his death and telling him to drive over towards a nearby forest, he did precisely as he was asked as Obi-Wan Kenobi left the space craft in order to avoid being killed along with him and so that he could watch his latest death.

Pretty soon Jar Jar Binks started driving above the legal intergalactic speed limit due to the fact that his intoxication preventing him from monitoring any of the speed limit signs. Due to the fact that he was not watching where he was going while he was driving, he suddenly crashed straight into a tree, causing his ship to explode with him still inside.

"AAH!" screamed Jar Jar Binks as he was sent flying several miles in the air from the destruction of the aircraft and the fact that he wasn't wearing a seatbelt. Ultimately, he crashed into a rather hard boulder; breaking many bones in his feeble body and making him become one with the force.

"And I thought he was a bad driver before." Obi-Wan Kenobi thought as he watched Jar Jar Binks die to his incredible carelessness and due to his previous actions.

Afterwards, the Jedi master decided to go inform his friends about what had happened, as they were waiting for him to show and tell.

"So, did your killing method work?" Anakin Skywalker asked.

"Yes, it did, my apprentice, now all we need to do is retrieve his corpse and to repair the space shuttle he destroyed using that book we've had for quite some time now." Obi-Wan Kenobi told him.

"I can't wait to see his body." squealed Padme Amidala.

"What an idiot. Did he even have a driver's license to begin with?" insulted Qui-Gon Jinn.

Our heroes went over to Jar Jar Binks' flea-covered carcass, pulled out the well-loved Book of Resurrection and read the magic words that brought Jar Jar Binks back to life as usual, and repaired the spaceship that he had blown up during his drunken driving with the same book in order to avoid having to pay the massive repair costs.

Suffice to say, they would be killing him again in the near future and would continue on with the story.

_What can I say to you? Drive while intoxicated and you'll be lucky if a police officer stops you…and even then you'll get arrested and sent to jail…basically it's a lose-lose situation. Don't drink and drive if you know what's good to you!_

_In the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks will meet his end from a guy that really needs to go on a diet…_


	32. Sumo Wrestler

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter Jar Jar Binks will die in the manner I've already decided upon…he's going to be crushed by a sumo wrestler! I hope you enjoy and make sure not to sit on people in the future for their safety._

**Chapter 32: Sumo Wrestler**

Our anti-heroes were eagerly watching a sumo wrestling tournament along with several other citizens of the galaxy, where two of them were already duking it out, trying to push each other out of the large ring.

So far it had been a very bitter stalemate that had taken nearly an hour, with both of them clearly exhausted and gasping for breath. Sweat was also running down both of their faces.

"How much have they been eating, anyway? It's a miracle that those two are still alive and haven't undergone a heart attack." wondered Anakin Skywalker, who was eagerly watching the entertaining match with his friends and accomplices in his many murders of Jar Jar.

Finally, one of them got the upper hand over his challenger and succeeded in winning the match and continuing on with the sumo wrestling tournament…suffice to say the other wasn't so lucky and had little else to do but to simply go home and cry like an infant in front of his family.

"Aww, I bet some money on that guy." Padme Amidala complained, who had been hoping to earn some money during the tournament in addition to simply watching it for its entertainment value.

After the match was over at last, one of the sumo wrestlers felt like he needed to sit down due to his rigorous fight with his opponent, so he decided to do so, heading straight towards where the audiences were seated.

"Hi Mr. Fat Sumo Wrestler Guy!" greeted Jar Jar as he came over, unaware of what was going to happen like always. As it turns out, his greetings fell on deaf ears. As the sumo wrestler still wasn't paying any attention, he felt free to use the chair that the Gungan was sitting on. Suffice to say, the Gungan was crushed under 1000 pounds of pure fat as the sumo wrestler stopped to rest at Jar Jar Binks' expense.

"Aargh! Get off mesa, Mr. Fat Sumo Wrestler Guy!" demanded our Gungan nemesis as pain rapidly flowed throughout him. But unfortunately for him the sumo wrestler did not hear his cries of pain and alarm, and eventually Jar Jar Binks died from suffocation and the fact the sumo wrestler had rapidly broken most of the bones in his body in the process.

The only thing that had avoided being crushed by the sumo wrestler was Jar Jar Binks' long, feeble legs, which shook a little before the Gungan drew his last breath.

"What was he thinking?" Obi-Wan Kenobi asked, witnessing the crime scene and the sumo wrestler's ignorance that had led to Jar Jar Binks' latest demise.

"Don't look a gift tauntaun in the mouth." suggested Qui-Gon Jinn, realizing how fortunate the accident was to them. Our heroes did not even have to do it themselves this time, as the sumo wrestler had done all the work for them.

As the police came to take the evil sumo wrestler away (miraculously, they had hand cuffs to fit his large hands), our heroes pulled out the Resurrection Book and resurrected Jar Jar Binks, due to the fact they had already decided on their next killing method.

Rapidly, Jar Jar Binks went from an alien pancake back to his original annoying self. It was always somewhat disappointing to watch him return to this world after what they had done to get him killed in the first place, but it was always worth it in the end.

"So, how did sumo wrestler match go?" asked Jar Jar Binks, who had not remembered what had happened during the match due to the fact that he had perished due to the latest killing method that had occurred recently.

"Oh, it went excellent. It was a long match though." answered Anakin Skywalker, leaving out the part about him meeting a horrible death by the hands of a morbidly obese man.

"Mesa hope mesa wrestler won!" exclaimed Jar Jar Binks, who had bet money on one of them just like Padme Amidala.

Our heroes then left the sumo wrestling tournament and headed back towards outer space, looking forward to killing Jar Jar Binks once again.

_Jar Jar Binks has perished in a tragic accident caused by the carelessness of one sumo wrestler…one can only hope that this does not happen to you if you ever decide to watch a sumo wrestling match just like our heroes did in this chapter…_

_In the next chapter (which coincidentally, will occur one-third of the way in this story), our anti-heroes will go in for the big sting!_


	33. Killer Bees

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will meet h is end via the thing that kills people more than dog bites…being stung to death by angry bees! Hope you enjoy this latest chapter._

_Also, I've decided to include a new character…one that has appeared in all six Star Wars films, crazily enough. You probably hate him just as much as you hate Jar Jar Binks, unfortunately. But perhaps you'll enjoy his contribution to the story that is arguably the most hateful fan fic in Star Wars history._

**Chapter 33: Killer Bees**

Anakin Skywalker had just recently discovered that Jar Jar Binks was allergic to bees through an examination of his medical records, and decided to use this knowledge to his advantage in order to execute him once more.

Telling his friends Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padme Amidala, and of course Qui-Gon Jinn about this plan, they agreed that it would be an effective method and they all decided to execute it.

"I assume that the bees we'll be using are highly aggressive?" Padme Amidala questioned.

Anakin Skywalker nodded to confirm what she had asked.

"Just wanted to make sure that we were on the same picture." answered Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Buying some beekeeper equipment from a local store so that they wouldn't get stung themselves in the process of their depraved scheme, our heroes proceeded to grab Jar Jar Binks and tie his arms and legs so that he couldn't move and get in the way of their plans (which of course involved killing him).

"What gives? Let mesa go!" demanded Jar Jar Binks. "Mesa get da feeling dat dis isn't first time dis happened." he thought, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu.

Our heroes then gagged Jar Jar Binks so that he couldn't speak properly (not like he could do already) and tossed him inside their space vehicle along with the beekeeper equipment, and flew off over to a planet that just so happened to contain a large amount of bee farms.

"Where yousa taking mesa?" asked Jar Jar Binks on the way there as he rapidly approached his deathtrap.

"Let's just say that the planet we're going contains a lot of honey." answered Obi-Wan Kenobi, telling him a rather twisted half-truth.

"Yay! Mesa love honey!" squealed Jar Jar Binks like the idiot he was.

After our heroes had finally arrived, Qui-Gon Jinn pulled Jar Jar Binks and took him towards one of the artificial bee farms, careful to put his beekeeping suit on as he did so.

Qui-Gon Jinn opened the bee farm and stuck Jar Jar Binks' awkward-shaped head inside the bee farm, laughing quite a bit as he did so.

"Help mesa! Mesa being stung! Let go of mesa neck!" screamed Jar Jar Binks as the aggressive bees proceeded to sting his face due to the fact he was intruding in their territory.

Jar Jar Binks died from the venom that rapidly entered his bloodstream due to the fact that the bees simply wouldn't stop stinging him, as well as his life-threatening allergy to bee stings that were before mentioned.

Afterwards, Qui-Gon Jinn picked up Jar Jar Binks's corpse and placed him back into the shuttle, but on the way there something horrible happened.

"I don't take too kindly to trespassers!" screeched the angry beekeeper who owned the bee farm that our heroes had just used to murder Jar Jar Binks, and pulled out a shotgun, shooting Anakin Skywalker in the head and killing him.

"NO! ANAKIN!" cried out Obi-Wan Kenobi as his Jedi apprentice was killed instantly.

Our remaining trio of heroes was forced to retreat from the crazy beekeeper as he attempted to murder them all with his shotgun, not unlike how they had murdered Jar Jar Binks earlier.

Afterwards, they read from the Book of Resurrection, bringing Jar Jar and Anakin Skywalker back to life in order to continue their massive killing spree.

"Hey guys, look what I made on the way there! It's a robot!" Anakin Skywalker exclaimed. He pointed towards a golden droid that suddenly turned on after Anakin Skywalker stopped speaking for some reason.

"C-3PO activated. Awaiting commands…" the robot spoke.

"Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise." Qui-Gon Jinn acknowledged.

_Well, I'm one-third through this story now, and I have to say, so far Jar Jar Binks had died a total of 33 deaths…impressive, isn't it? Suffice to say, he'll be dying far more in the future, and the deaths will start to get more gruesome as we go along._

_If you don't like C-3PO, then maybe I could start killing him in gruesome ways as well…of course I'll be killing Jar Jar Binks more often than him, but it's still a possibility._

_In the next chapter Jar Jar Binks will die through yet another internet meme suggested through our latest character..._


	34. Abyss

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter Jar Jar Binks will die from a meme not unlike what happened to him during his lethal rick rolling…he'll get kicked into a rather enormous pit that our heroes have uncovered for said purpose…sound familiar?_

**Chapter 34: Abyss**

Searching for the next method to kill Jar Jar Binks, Padme Amidala came across a rather large pit at one particular planet they were scouting…one that was deep enough that whoever fell inside would evidently die, or at the very least be enough to kill a Gungan. This sparked an idea in her mind as she went to fetch the others.

After alerting the others what they found, our heroes all approached the area she had suggested, and they agreed that it would be a perfect idea in order to slay the most obnoxious alien in the galaxy.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Anakin Skywalker asked the other anti-heroes.

"I believe that I'm currently thinking what you're thinking, my apprentice." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Let's go get Jar Jar Binks!" suggested Padme Amidala, wanting to kill Jar Jar Binks right at that particular moment.

"There he is now!" exclaimed Qui-Gon Jinn, pointing to Jar Jar Binks who was approaching them at just the right time.

"Hey guys! Whoa, dat is some pit, huh? Mesa wonder how it got dere." Jar Jar Binks spoke to the others in astonishment as he stared at the enormous cavity on the planet's surface, who once more was unaware that he was going to get killed in the next few minutes.

"I swear, he never notices whenever he's in danger until it's too late, doesn't he?" Qui-Gon Jinn whispered to Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Ah yes, that does seem to be a major weakness of his. It does make life a lot easier for us though, so let's leave it at that, won't we?" Obi-Wan Kenobi muttered back.

"Guess what, Jar Jar Binks, we're going to send you down this giant pit so that you'll become a bloody mess as soon as you hit the bottom!" Anakin Skywalker told him, so eager to slaughter him that he did not bother to hide his murderous intentions.

"Enjoy your lesson about gravity!" added Padme Amidala.

"What? Dis is madness!" screamed Jar Jar Binks, horrified at Anakin Skywalker's and Padme Amidala's suggestion to do such a thing, mainly due to the fact that he was such a yellow-bellied coward and simply due to the fact that he was not interested on dying despite how frequently he had done so at that point.

"Madness? This is Star Wars!" answered his arch-enemy Anakin Skywalker, who swiftly proceeded to kick Jar Jar Binks down into the abyss and to his latest death.

"AAH! Curse yousa, evil gravity! Yousa nothing but trouble for mesa!" screeched Jar Jar Binks as he fell to his doom for the second time or so, until he hit the ground with a sickening thud. The Gungan had fought with gravity as he fell down to the pit, and of course gravity had ultimately won.

But there was a problem that our heroes quickly realized not long after they had slain him. How in the galaxy were they going to retrieve Jar Jar Binks' body this time? They couldn't simply go inside the pit and climb their way back out, they would likely meet the same fate if they attempted to do such a stupid thing.

It looked like our heroes's killing spree might have finally come to an end at last….

…but just as our heroes were about to give up, C-3PO suddenly pointed out that there was a teleportation spell in the Book of Resurrection that could be used to retrieve Jar Jar Binks' carcass so that they could kill him in the future.

Suffice to say, our heroes pulled out the Book of Resurrection and read the magic words, causing Jar Jar Binks's corpse to appear out of nowhere right next to them.

"That magic in that book astounds me." C-3PO expressed his astonishment. Apparently, he was not aware that there were magic-users in the galaxy. He wondered if there were other magical books just like the one that the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization had entrusted them with.

"By the way, didn't we kill Jar Jar Binks by shoving him out a window?" Anakin Skywalker pointed out.

"I believe that the method we used was slightly different." answered Padme Amidala.

"I suppose that you're right." approved Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Afterwards, our heroes used the resurrection spell that we all know is in that book as well, allowing our heroes to bring him back to life in order to kill him off in the next chapter.

_I swear, a lot of Disney villains tend to die this way, don't they? It seems that gravity doesn't like them…anyways in the next chapter, our heroes will kill Jar Jar Binks in the most ironic method that they could so...can you guess what it is?_

_I have to admit, I've been coming up with a lot of ideas to kill the Gungan as of late…perhaps I won't need to use suggestions from the others for a while…I've received a lot of them at this point though, so maybe I'll use one anyway. Once again, feel free to leave a review…I've already received a lot of them so I suppose having a few more wouldn't hurt me._


	35. Suicide

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter our heroes will cause Jar Jar Binks to kill himself…yes, it certainly is an ironic method for him to die, isn't it? Let's see if our heroes will succeed, why don't we?_

**Chapter 35: Suicide**

Tired of always having to do the job of killing Jar Jar Binks themselves, our heroes decided that maybe it was time to come up with something different for a change as they sat down thinking of the next method to add to the long list.

But what would they come up with this time? Our heroes were having difficulty deciding on coming up with such a creative method of murder.

"I know! Maybe we can make him kill himself!" Obi-Wan Kenobi suggested. "That'll save us the trouble of actually having to murder him using our own hands."

"I believe that he'll reach what is known as his breaking point if we make him depressed enough." C-3PO added, apparently thinking that doing so would be quite possible.

"Let's go look up some rather depressing information about the galaxy, why don't we?" Anakin Skywalker told the others as they left the room.

Our heroes prepared to make Jar Jar Binks as miserable as possible for their next killing method, which was driving him to suicide by pushing him over the edge (not literally like they've done in previous killing methods).

Going up to him and asking if they could have some words with him, they proceeded to talk to him about all the miserable parts of the galaxy, including what had happened recently, as well as the evil emperor that has taken control thanks to his actions.

"What has mesa done?" Jar Jar Binks screamed out loud. He immediately started cutting his wrists using a knife, spilling some blood on the floor in the process and causing him to feel a bit light-headed.

Our heroes continued to tell him about how miserable he had been making everyone else in the galaxy due to the fact he had been annoying them half-to-death, and that he was quite possibly the evil-incarnate because of this.

"Mesa inhuman monster!" screamed Jar Jar Binks upon hearing the unfortunate truth of what our anti-heroes had told him.

Finally, Jar Jar Binks could not stand it anymore, and proceeded to hang himself from the nearby tree outside the house using some rope and a chair, causing him to die due to the fact that his spinal cord had snapped in the process.

"Bye-bye cruel world!" he exclaimed as he killed himself through the aforementioned method.

Our heroes came to admire their handiwork once again a few minutes after Jar Jar's death.

"Looks like we put him out of his misery this time." Anakin Skywalker stated as he looked over Jar Jar Binks' corpse.

"Wait, didn't we already make him hang himself by taking him over to those gallows?" Qui-Gon Jinn questioned, recalling the time they had used this classic execution method.

"What can I say, there's always going to be some snags when we come up with certain murder methods." Obi-Wan Kenobi replied.

"Let's just go resurrect him using the Resurrection Book." commanded Padme Amidala, wishing to have the next opportunity to murder Jar Jar Binks as soon as possible.

And so our heroes did as Padme Amidala suggested, bringing Jar Jar Binks back to life despite the fact that he clearly wanted to be in the world of the dead due to what they had told him about himself and about the galaxy.

Thankfully, he had forgotten about being suicidal as a side effect of the resurrection spell, so he would not attempt to commit suicide again, thus allowing our heroes to kill him off once more.

Everyone was perfectly happy afterwards, except for C-3PO, who had to clean up the blood that was left behind on the floor due to Jar Jar Binks slitting his tiny wrists prior to his death.

"Funny, wasn't there a robot on my starship that makes beeping sounds instead of speaking?" remembered Padme Amidala as she looked at the golden robot that was currently cleaning up Jar Jar Binks's mess. "Maybe I could introduce him to C-3PO."

_Was this chapter ironic or what? In the next chapter, our heroes will try killing him using a rather ancient method…_


	36. Blow Dart

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, our heroes will kill Jar Jar Binks by shooting him with a dart that contains a deadly toxin…suffice to say the effects won't be pretty. But this is what you want, am I right?_

_I swear, sometimes my fans can be hard to please…_

**Chapter 36: Blow Dart**

Jar Jar Binks was busy sitting on a chair grabbing his tongue and making strange noises. Suffice to say he was quite distracted, which gave Anakin Skywalker the perfect opportunity to get behind a nearby potted plant and prepared for his next and rapidly approaching kill.

The killing method had been suggested by Obi-Wan Kenobi, who told them about a few people who used outdated technology to attack their prey in another corner of the galaxy. Anakin wondered if there was any more killing method they could use that had been started by them.

With some help from his good friends, he had filled a small but very dangerous dart with an extremely poisonous chemical that would ultimately kill Jar Jar Binks, his hated enemy, upon injection, and had dressed in tribal gear for this special occasion.

With precise accuracy, Anakin Skywalker pulled out a piece of bamboo and shot a blow dart out of the blue and straight towards Jar Jar Binks' short neck, who reacted with surprise and jumped out of his seat, placing his long tongue back in his mouth.

"What happened?" wondered Jar Jar Binks. "Why do mesa get da feeling dat something was shot in mesa neck? Somethin' fishy going round here."

Jar Jar Binks scratched his head, still curious as to what had happened, when suddenly he started vomiting uncontrollably on the floor, feeling extremely nauseous as the chemical inside the blow dart started to take effect.

"Yuck! Mesa feels horrible!" Jar Jar Binks screamed, quickly noticing what a mess he had made. "Mesa hope Anakin knows da number of da cleaners. While he's at it maybe he could send mesa to da hospital!"

Eventually everything around the Gungan started to feel blurry and the entire room started spinning around him, and he suddenly fell on the floor, dead from the poison that had rapidly entered his bloodstream.

"Mission accomplished." Anakin Skywalker stated, grinning evilly as he observed the grisly events that had happened to our least favorite Gungan.

After getting his friends, they proceeded to read from the Resurrection Book and resurrect Jar Jar Binks, causing the toxins inside his body to mysteriously disappear as he went back up on his feet.

"I can't help but wonder how exactly that spell works. Not like we can simply ask Jar Jar…" Anakin Skywalker thought.

"Who would have thought that ancient killing methods could be so useful?" Padme Amidala noted.

"Maybe we could try killing him using a guillotine some time?" suggested Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Well, we already tried hanging, didn't we?" approved Qui-Gon Jinn.

Once again, C-3PO was ordered to clean up the mess that Jar Jar Binks had made using a nearby mop and a bucket, which in this case was barfing most of the content in his stomach. As he grumbled to himself about having to do all the work himself, another robot suddenly came up to him.

"Now who might you be?" C-3PO asked him with curiousity.

The robot responded by making high-pitched beeping noises.

"Your name is R2-D2? Interesting, well I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is C-3PO. I'd shake your hand if I could, but you do not appear to have any."

R2-D2 proceeded to make more beeping noises.

"You're here so you can help slaughter Jar Jar Binks, you say? I suppose that I can't disagree with that idea…we always could use some assistance, it can get difficult to exterminate him after a while." C-3PO replied.

As it turns out, Padme Amidala decided to bring R2-D2 along to see if he wanted to kill Jar Jar Binks. As it turns out, he wanted to join the club as well.

And so with yet another new member to their group, our heroes began thinking about what could be used for their next killing method.

_In the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die from yet another reference…this one might not be as obvious to you though…it' is something that you can find on the Internet however…so I suppose at least a few of you might understand this next death._

_I'll give you a hint, it involves llamas. Yes, you heard me. Llamas. You'll see what happens shortly._


	37. Llamas

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter Jar Jar Binks will meet his end due to a very peculiar llama from a comedic web series…let's see how things turn out for him shall we? You just might to be able to guess which one…if you do I'll give you a cookie!_

**Chapter 37: Llamas**

Our heroes had decided to stop by at a local petting zoo this time, where several animals from several different galaxies were grazing.

"You sure we should be touching them like this? It makes me feel like I'm in danger. And I think one of the animals just went to the bathroom." Padme Amidala questioned.

"Meh, I'm sure that they're perfectly safe. Otherwise, why would the owners allow their guests to touch them?" Anakin Skywalker assured her.

"Let's hope so if we're going to kill Jar Jar Binks again in the near future. I've already had to resurrect you two using the Resurrection Book due to the fact that our killing methods had gone awry." Obi-Wan Kenobi told them.

"At least they succeeded." Qui-Gon Jinn replied.

"By the way, is there a method we could use to kill Jar Jar? I believe there has to be something we can use." Anakin suggested.

Meanwhile, C-3PO and R2-D2 were standing outside the llama section of the petting zoo, observing the large animals.

"Please be careful, R2-D2, those llamas have the ability to spit saliva projectiles with astonishing accuracy." warned C-3PO.

R2-D2 once again let out a series of beeps to acknowledge that he was listening to his friend.

Jar Jar Binks himself was nearby the llama section as well, who was happily bouncing up and down with glee at the sight of them like an excited child who had spotted a candy store. He had apparently been waiting to visit them for quite some time.

"Yay! Mesa love llamas!" squealed Jar Jar Binks. Unfortunately, despite the fact that he was getting the opportunity to see one of his favorite animals in the galaxy (and even get to touch a few of them), today would ultimately not turn out to be his lucky day.

As Jar Jar Binks went to pet several of them with his bare hands, one of the llamas came by. Oddly, he was wearing a green hat that resembled one that an elf would wear.

"Hi llama! Whoa, where did yousa get dat hat? Mesa curious." thought Jar Jar Binks as he observed the llama's strange attire.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the llama pulled out a sharp, bloody dagger using one of his hoofs. The Gungan had no idea where he had gotten such a thing.

"What da-yousa don't plan on using dat on mesa, do yousa?" questioned Jar Jar.

As a matter of the fact, the llama was intending to use that dagger on Jar Jar Binks. He proceeded to stab the Gungan in the heart at rapid speed, killing him almost instantly.

"Why llama why!" screamed Jar Jar Binks at this horrific betrayal, right before his punctured vital organ did him in.

The llama then proceeded to eat the alien's hands out of hunger, causing another llama who was wearing a hat (this one wore an oddly feminine hat even though said llama was also male) to begin to berate him for his actions.

C-3PO and R2-D2 themselves would eventually notice the bizarre incident that had happened. After trying to make an autopsy with little success, they decided to take his body and tell the others what had happened.

"I swear, the killing methods that happen to our common enemy get more and more peculiar." C-3PO thought.

R2-D2 beeped with agreement. In fact, this one was arguably the weirdest death yet. What in the galaxy could have happened to their recurring victim?

After informing our heroes of the shocking yet fortunate news, our heroes once again resurrected Jar Jar Binks using the Resurrection Book to prepare him for their next killing method.

"What could have done him in this time? Last time I checked he was at the llama exhibit. How could those llamas have killed him?" wondered Anakin Skywalker.

"Your guess is as good as mine." agreed Padme Amidala.

"I suppose that none of that matters now. Let's go look for another way to murder our friend, shall we?" suggested Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"But first, let's make another trip. I heard that the local galactic water supply is nearby and I've been feeling a bit thirsty lately." Qui-Gon Jinn recommended.

And so our heroes set off to the nearby dam, hoping to get a drink or two once they were there so that they could quench their thirst.

_So, did you like this new death? The next death I've picked out for Jar Jar Binks also contains a reference or too…of course you'll probably be able to tell what movie I'm referencing after you've read it…_

_So until then, you'll have to wait for the next hilarious chapter of 101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks…which will naturally involve killing him due to the fact that this is a Jar Jar Binks hate fic in case you haven't realized that by now._


	38. Angry Mob

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter Jar Jar Binks will do something very stupid and very naughty…he'll contaminate the local galactic water supply! Suffice to say this will make many people very angry at Jar Jar, which you will find out in this chapter._

**Chapter 38: Angry Mob**

Our heroes were busy looking at the large reservoir of the water that the tour guide was showing them. It was quite a sight.

"Can I have a glass of water since we're so near our water supply and all? I'm really thirsty." Qui-Gon Jinn asked.

The tour guide answered his question by giving him a glass of water.

"Thank you." thanked Qui-Gon Jinn.

"I suppose that we shouldn't use that big body of water as a swimming pool, Padme. We might get our germs in it, and that's no good." warned Anakin.

"What made you think that I wanted to go swimming?" questioned Padme.

"I don't know, it's just that a lot of your fanboys would probably love seeing you in a bikini." Joked Anakin.

"Very funny, Anakin." replied the princess.

"By the way you two, have you seen Jar Jar Binks? I don't think he was with us when we started the tour." asked Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"I get the feeling that he may have gotten himself into trouble." worried C-3PO.

R2-D2 let out a worried beeping sound as well.

As it turns out, Jar Jar Binks was once again desperately looking for a restroom. Suffice to say, he wasn't very good at finding one, and time was running out.

"Mesa need to take a leak real badly!" screamed the Gungan. He was running out of options as he ran through a nearby door.

As it turns out, this door led to where the water supply was currently being stored.

"Perfect! Mesa finally found bathroom!" squealed the Gungan.

Suffice to say what he did next was utterly despicable. The idiotic alien proceeded to urinate inside the galaxy's water supply, causing it to change color. Jar Jar Binks' friends stormed into the room upon spotting him and watched this atrocity with disgust.

"Gross!" blurted out Padme.

"Jar Jar Binks, what in the Empire were you thinking?" screamed Anakin Skywalker.

"That does it! You're going home, buddy!" bellowed Obi-Wan Kenobi, who proceeded to go over to where Jar Jar Binks was standing and grabbed him by the arm.

_At our heroes' house…_

"Jar Jar Binks you idiot! Thanks to you we won't be able to have water again for a really long time!" screeched Qui-Gon Jinn.

"What's da big deal about dat?" questioned Jar Jar Binks.

"People are going to be furious at you, Jar Jar! Do you think they're going to just stand by after that grisly act you committed?" Anakin Skywalker shouted.

"Relax, it's not like people ganna know about it." Jar Jar Binks stated. "Hey, what's dat light in da distance?"

"What? Let me see that." Obi-Wan Kenobi pulled out some binoculars, and stared out the window. Almost immediately, he screamed.

"What's the matter?" asked Padme Amidala.

"There's an angry mob coming right this way! They have torches and everything!" exclaimed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"What are we going to do?" inquired Anakin.

"I suggest that we evacuate the area at once." C-3PO recommended.

R2-D2 once again agreed with C-3PO's idea.

"I got a better idea. Why don't we make Jar Jar Binks apologize for what he did in the first place! Not like it's forgivable…" Padme Amidala suggested.

As it turns out, the angry mob had already approached the house and were waiting right outside the door.

"What? Dat's crazy! If wesa go out dere, then they ganna kill us all!" screeched Jar Jar Binks.

"No we won't! We just want Jar Jar!" retorted Darth Maul.

"Well, OK, maybe thesa won't kill yousa, but thesa will kill Tarpals!" warned Jar Jar Binks.

"Mesa part of da mob yousa dolt!" answered Tarpals.

At that particular moment, the mob suddenly broke into the house. Our heroes were all forced to flee, but right before doing so they decided to toss Jar Jar Binks straight in the angry mob's path to make sure that he would get his just desserts.

"Can yousa forgive mesa?" Jar Jar Binks attempted to apologize. Their answer was a firm no as they proceeded to stab, slash, burn, and use whatever weapon they had available to bring him to justice. Jar Jar Binks died rapidly from the wrath of the enraged bunch of hooligans.

Unfortunately, the mob proceeded to go after our heroes as well, due to the role they had played in ruining the water supply in the first place. It wasn't until Qui-Gon Jinn, C-3PO, and Anakin Skywalker had met their fate at the hands of the deadly gang that they managed to find a decent hiding place.

After making sure that they were finally gone, our protagonists resurrected the ones they had lost (including Jar Jar Binks) in case the obnoxious Gungan did something as stupid as what he had done recently, which evidently would happen in the near future.

_I have to admit, even I find this chapter to be hilarious…by the way, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization will be appearing pretty soon…so I hope you enjoy the upcoming chapter featuring them…but before that, I'll be using a rather odious killing methods that would make those who committed it filthy dogs…get the hint?_


	39. Rabid Dogs

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Hey guys…due to the fact that my computer got attacked by a virus I haven't been able to update for a while, so I hope that this chapter makes up for it, or at the very least you find it entertaining for Jar Jar Binks to meet a gruesome end, possibly the most gruesome one yet in fact._

**Chapter 39: Rabid Dogs**

Our heroes had come up with their latest scheme. They were going to feed Jar Jar Binks to a bunch of rabid dogs…which in the spirit of the holidays were formerly sled dogs.

"Seeing though Jar Jar Binks is such an animal, I find it fitting that he should meet his end by a bunch of carnivorous ones." Anakin Skywalker told his murderous teammates.

"You sure we shouldn't have gone with piranhas? I heard that they can rapidly eat a cow…which therefore means that they can devour our Gungan friend just as easily." questioned Padme Amidala.

"We don't have a pool where we can place them yet, so for now this is the best we can do." replied Anakin Skywalker.

"I suppose nothing matters as long as it does Jar Jar Binks in. We've still got a long way to go before we can finish the story." stated Obi-Wan Kenobi.

R2-D2 beeped with agreement at the nasty suggestion.

"I calculate that we have a 99.99 chance of success in murdering our Gungan friend using this method." C-3PO assured them.

"Which naturally leaves only a slight chance of failure. The only problem I suppose would be if the PETA finds out about this." agreed Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Right, I suppose we'll cross that bridge if we come to it, which hopefully we won't." Padme Amidala told him.

They had recently infected the animals with rabies, and had locked them inside so that they wouldn't tear at their flesh, which naturally would be quite an unpleasant experience they were reserving for Jar Jar. Now all they had to do was to lure the incredibly obnoxious Gungan into the same room with the ferocious canines.

They decided to do so using some pieces of candy, or to be more specific, pieces of candy from a delicious bag of delicious M&Ms. Naturally the alien could not resist eating such a thing, even though it was on the floor and was therefore probably contaminated.

"Ooh, candy! Dis is mesa best day ever! Mesa must be in heaven or somefing!" squealed Jar Jar Binks, who began following the long trail of M&Ms towards the door where the vicious dogs were waiting for their next meal. Expectedly, the bag of candy would be the last thing he would ever have.

As soon as Jar Jar was nearby, Qui-Gon Jinn quickly pushed him in and relocked the door before any of the dogs (or the Gungan for that matter) could escape, therefore sealing his fate as usual.

"Say hello to my little friends!" taunted the manly member of our heroes.

"Hi puppies! How yousa doing? Mesa didn't know yousa were here." Jar Jar Binks asked, ignoring the fact that they were barking loudly at him. The dogs responded by pouncing on top of him and devouring his body with their sharp teeth and cutting into him using their sharp claws, causing him to die within minutes as blood and chunks of his flesh splattered all over the floor. Naturally, C-3PO would have to mop the mess later.

However, before our heroes could resurrect their archenemy for a future chapter, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization came in and knocked them all out cold, ready to take them back to their headquarters for another brainwashing session.

"Here's Johnny!" exclaimed one of the members as he knocked him out cold by hitting him with a wooden axe.

"I didn't know that your name was Johnny." spoke another one of the members.

"That's because I don't wear a nametag like the others do." explained Johnny.

"You should really get one. It makes it easier to talk to you." suggested another member.

C-3PO and R2-D2 as it turns out would enter a different room, where instead of being brainwashed they would instead be reprogrammed by their scientists to help murder Jar Jar Binks more gruesomely. Of course, the latest method they had come up with as of late was pretty gruesome to begin with.

As for the rabid dogs they had infected, they were picked up by the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization as well and taken to their kennel…which as it turns out was filled with vicious animals for the purpose of killing a certain annoying Gungan.

_Just wanted to make sure that you didn't think I had left …of course I believe that I haven't been gone for that long. In the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks will once again be delivered to a familiar face…only this time he'll die through a somewhat different method…_


	40. Rancor

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Well, you've been looking forward to this, so I decided to grant you this request. It's actually an idea that I came up with myself, but popular demand helped me come up with this suggestion. Enjoy this grisly chapter of 101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks._

**Chapter 40: Rancor**

Once again, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization concocted a scheme that would put an end to Jar Jar Binks while his friends were being brainwashed (or in C-3PO and R2-D2's case, being reprogrammed) to kill him in even more gruesome methods.

It was actually quite similar to what they had done earlier, due to the fact that it involved Jabba the Hutt, however this time he would die through a different method than what had happened to him previously.

He would be fed to the nasty, vicious beast that lurked underneath Jabba's Castle.

Once again the members of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization prepared to mail the Gungan towards the pompous, oversized slug.

"Didn't we already try this before?" asked one of the members.

"Yes, but this time Jar Jar Binks won't be eaten by Jabba, we've made sure of that." stated another one of the members.

"Just wanted to make sure." replied the confused member.

"Does this package have air holes? We don't want Jar Jar Binks to suffocate on the way there, now do we?" inquired one of the members.

"Don't worry, we made sure of that, I'm pretty sure that Jar Jar Binks died from methods that would suffocate him already." replied another one of the members.

Not long afterwards, Jar Jar Binks found himself on a shuttle heading straight towards Tatooine.

"Why does dis feel so familiar?" wondered Jar Jar Binks.

Once again, he found himself in Jabba the Hutt's Palace.

"Why do mesa get the feeling that mesa been here before?" thought Jar Jar Binks, as he tipped over one of the decorations.

"Didn't I see him before? Oh well, I'm not hungry after that delicious cuisine those nice people gave me…so I suppose I'll have to just find another way to get rid of this pest." the obese slug thought.

Suddenly, Jabba the Hutt noticed that the Gungan was standing directly underneath his trapdoor which he used to dispose of the many people that he did not like, and realized what he could do to dispose of the obnoxious alien.

Suddenly out of nowhere while he was busy making Jabba's bodyguards peel their hairs out, Jabba opened the trapdoor straight underneath Jar Jar Binks.

"Why did floor suddenly disappear?" wondered the Gungan, right before gravity kicked in and he fell striaght in.

"Whee!" squealed Jar Jar Binks as he slid down the chute leading to the Rancor pit, unaware that this would be the last slide he would ever play with.

After he fell in, the Gungan wondered where he was. Suddenly, he noticed that there were skulls inside of the pit. Someone had apparently killed a lot of people.

"Whoa! Where is mesa?" wondered the Gungan.

He also noticed that there were large amounts of dung inside the pit. Someone didn't know how to use the toilet.

"Yuck! Dis place is disgusting!" exclaimed Jar Jar.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the enormous Rancor (that just so happened to be one of Jabba's pets) started walking towards the Gungan.

"Hey there! How yousa doing?" Jar Jar Binks stupidly asked the beast that was about to eat him.

The Rancor responded by picking up the Gungan and devouring him whole and sprayed blood all over the pit, much to the delight of Jabba and his goons, who were busy observing his waited demise.

"Ouchies! Yousa have sharp teeth!" screamed Jar Jar Binks as the Rancor rapidly killed him using its deadly fangs.

The following night while Jabba the Hutt was sleeping, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization came by and went inside the rancor pit and somehow managed to get the beast to regurgitate Jar Jar Binks' remains, and used the resurrection spell to bring the Gungan back to life.

Of course, they had to leave the Rancor pit before they would be eaten as well, but naturally they managed to escape back to the base.

Not long afterwards, Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, C-3PO, and R2-D2 were all released from the base, with thoughts of murdering Jar Jar Binks rapidly flowing inside of their minds.

_Jar Jar Binks has died a whopping total of forty times…and yet somehow we're not even halfway done with this story…hopefully we'll be able to finish this story in the near future, so that everyone has 101 killing methods to laugh and cry at…_

_In the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die through yet another classic execution method, one that's older than the electric chair itself…_


	41. Bungee Accident

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, we will learn that gravity can be quite dangerous to Gungans…especially when it comes to great heights…not like that we didn't know that already considering we've already murdered him using similar methods…_

**Chapter 41: Bungee Accident**

Padme Amidala came up with the suggestion of killing Jar Jar Binks for her friends. Her method would involve causing Jar Jar Binks to fall to his death through yet another grisly method, by making him fall to his death while he was bungee jumping.

"How are we going to make him bungee jump?" questioned Anakin Skywalker. He wasn't sure if the alien would be interested.

"I don't know, I just figured that Jar Jar Binks was somewhat of a thrill seeker." answered Padme Amidala.

"Ah yes, our life would be a lot easier if he was a daredevil, wouldn't it?" agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi. "It would open up many more possibilities."

"Once again, it looks like we're going to have to go get him. Anyone know where he is?" complained Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Not to alarm you sirs, but Jar Jar Binks is right over there." C-3PO informed the rest of the group.

R2-D2 beeped with astonishment. Looks like they were in luck!

"Well, that's new." thought Anakin Skywalker, recalling the times when they had to fetch Jar Jar Binks simply so they could drag him towards his final resting place.

"Hey Jar Jar Binks! Come here!" ordered Padme Amidala.

Jar Jar immediately came over to her. "Yes, mistress Padme?" he asked curiously.

Once again, our heroes proceeded to lure Jar Jar Binks towards his latest deathtrap. This time, they told him about what they were doing lately…which was jumping off a rather tall building.

"Sounds fun! But wouldn't dat be horribly unsafe?" worried the Gungan. He felt that this wasn't the first time he had fallen several feet, even though he didn't actually recall doing so.

"Not to worry my dear friend, we brought a rope for that occasion…you tie it around your waist, and then you freefall to the ground until you suddenly stop. Interesting, is it not?" replied Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"OK, if you say so, just tell me where I can get started." Jar Jar Binks inquired.

And so our heroes proceeded to take the Gungan to the largest building they could possibly find…they did not have to search far, due to the fact that they were currently in a large city.

"How oddly convenient for us." thought Qui-Gon Jinn. Why couldn't it always be this way?

Afterwards, our heroes prepared their plan to murder Jar Jar Binks. It was quite simple, all they needed was something sharp enough to cut through the rope that he was currently using…as it turns out a simple lightsaber would do the trick.

"Again, I thought we would have to make more preparations." thought Anakin Skywalker.

After telling Jar Jar Binks to jump off the building, (which he did, squealing "Whee!" as he did so), Obi-Wan Kenobi suddenly cut the rope into two with a mighty thrust from his most frequently used weapon. Naturally, this meant that Jar Jar could no longer defy gravity.

"Dis is fun! Wait just a minute, whya is mesa still falling? Mesa certain dat bungee cord stop me by now." wondered Jar Jar Binks.

Suddenly, he realized that his bungee cord had been cut right in two.

"Oh no! Mesa gonna hit da stone-hard pavement! Mesa done for!" screamed Jar Jar.

Jar Jar Binks frantically started flapping his arms, hoping that he could slow his descent. Unfortunately, Gungans were not capable of flight, mainly due to the fact that they did not have wings, so it was a lesson in futility.

The Gungan hit the ground with a sickening thud, his bones rapidly breaking and his blood splattering all over the street. Someone was probably going to slip over the red liquid in the near future.

Unfortunately for our heroes, the elevator they had used to get to the top of the building had fallen out of order while they were there. Because of this, they had to take many long sets of stairs before they could finally reach their deceased victim and resurrect him using the Book of Resurrection.

"I have to admit, that was exhausting even for I." admitted C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped with agreement.

"At least we managed to kill Jar Jar Binks again. Any suggestions as to how we kill him next?" asked Qui-Gon Jinn.

"I've got a pretty good idea." Obi-Wan Kenobi thought.

_What could Obi-Wan Kenobi possibly be planning? Anyways, our heroes could have probably hanged Jar Jar Binks using his bungee cord as well…but of course they've already killed him through this method._

_You'll get to see what the Jedi master is up to in the next chapter…naturally it will be highly unpleasant for Jar Jar Binks…and a rich death that such a horrible Gungan richly deserves…_

_Again, seeing though I already used the Rancor suggestion, I think I'll start browsing the other review archives as well…of course at this point the reviews have reached nearly 100…so I suppose it'll take a while._

_So just wait until next time._


	42. Voodoo Doll

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, our heroes will experiment using a rather bizarre killing method, using a Jar Jar Binks Voodoo Doll! That's right, our heroes are going to have fun with voodoo! Enjoy this latest chapter of the 101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks…_

_I get the feeling that you'll probably enjoy in particular Jar Jar Binks saying Ouchies countless times in a row, seeing though how funny you seem to find his cries of pain…Then again, you might feel that it's being done to death. Ah well._

**Chapter 42: Voodoo Doll**

Padme Amidala was wearing a rather scary mask, and was knitting a doll together. But something was strange about this doll. It had a remarkable resemblance to Jar Jar Binks, but for some reason both of its eyes were Xs.

"What are you doing with that doll?" asked Anakin Skywalker, curious why she was sitting there making a doll while wearing a voodoo mask.

"I'm trying to create a Jar Jar Binks voodoo doll so we can kill him again, why?" answered Padme Amidala.

"Sounds rather interesting. Can I help you out in any particular way?" Anakin Skywalker offered his assistance.

"Well, I'll need his blood, and some of his skin. That way the voodoo doll will work properly." Padme Amidala explained.

"Alright, I can do that." agreed Anakin Skywalker, who went off to fetch one of the necessary ingredients.

Anakin Skywalker proceeded to take the needle Padme Amidala was using to knit the doll and use it to jab Jar Jar Binks in the arm, which due to its sharpness drew some blood.

"Ouchies! Dat really hurt! What was dat for?" Jar Jar Binks asked him curiously.

"Er, I was trying to donate some of your blood for the blood bank?" Anakin Skywalker answered him sheepishly.

"Oh, alright." Jar Jar Binks told him. As usual, he did not suspect a thing, which was just one of the many things that tended to result in his downfall.

Afterwards, Anakin Skywalker told Obi-Wan Kenobi what Padme was planning, and he agreed to help out by taking some of his flesh, cutting it off with a razor.

"Ouchies! What's da big idea? Are yousa trying to kill mesa?" Jar Jar Binks asked him.

"Sorry, I was trying to give you a haircut. And as for me trying to kill you…well I'm not going to be doing that today." answered Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Oh, Ok!" Jar Jar Binks replied, ignoring the fact that he did not have hair and the Jedi master's suspicious answer to his question .

After giving Padme Amidala the ingredients she required, she went to work on preparing the dark ritual that would turn the ordinary doll into a voodoo doll.

Suffice to say, she was done in a matter of minutes, and invited the rest of her friends over to decide what exactly to do with it before they put the plan in action.

"I suggest that we toss it into the fireplace!" suggested Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Didn't we already kill him with fire?" answered Padme Amidala.

"I say that we toss it into a bathtub and then toss in a hair dryer." proposed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

R2-D2 beeped with agreement at that particular suggestion.

"Sorry guys, I believe that the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization already tried that using an electric chair." Padme Amidala turned down the two robots' suggestion.

"Well, what do we do with it then? I was going to throw it out the window, but we've already defenestrated Jar Jar." Anakin Skywalker asked her.

"Let's just kill Jar Jar Binks the old-fashioned voodoo way." Padme Amidala told him, poking Jar Jar Binks in the knee using the needle.

"Ouchies! Mesa knee!" bellowed Jar Jar Binks as he started clutching his knee.

Next, Padme Amidala started poking Jar Jar Binks' arm.

"Ouchies! Now mesa arm hurting!" screamed the obnoxious Gungan, who started clutching his arm as well.

After that, Padme Amidala started poking Jar Jar Binks' head.

"Ouchies! Mesa have headache!" screeched the alien, who started clutching his cranium in pain.

At this point, Jar Jar Binks fell over from trying to clutch so many parts of his body at once.

"Clumsy as always." thought Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Finally, Padme Amidala stopped toying with the Gungan (as much fun as it was to make him suffer), and stabbed him straight in the heart with the needle.

"Ouchies! Mesa has heartburn!" yelled Jar Jar Binks, right before he fell on the floor (once again) pushing up daisies.

"Great job Padme, I'll have you suggest more murder ideas in the future." Anakin Skywalker congratulated her.

"Mm-hmm…" Anakin Skywalker said.

_Was this one a classic or what? I get the feeling that this was probably in one of my reviews…I suppose I'll have to think up of something for the next chapter if I don't feel like using the many suggestions that have been given to me…_

_To be honest with you, they're starting to drive me crazy…I've gotten so many of them…and I don't know if I can exactly use them all…_

_But for the moment, I suppose I'll simply surf through them and see if I can find anything that I particularly like._


	43. Fireworks Display

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, our heroes will kill Jar Jar Binks by making him explode…in a rather celebratory sort of way fitting due to the fact that 2012 has arrived…can you guess what it is?_

_I'll give you a hint, you'll probably be seeing them a lot during 4__th__ of July…_

**Chapter 43: Fireworks Display**

Anakin Skywalker had concocted yet another depraved scheme to take down the clumsy alien menace known by many as Jar Jar Binks, which in this case was by killing him using an abnormally sized firework.

"So let me get this straight, we're going to blow up Jar Jar Binks this time around? I'm always up for new killing methods, I suppose." Padme Amidala inquired.

"We certainly are…we'll do it in order to celebrate the new year!" exclaimed Anakin Skywalker.

"The new year, you say? Ah yes, I suppose that would be the ideal way to celebrate the new year…and of course the 4th of July as well, perhaps." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Let's do this, shall we? Wait, do we have any rope? Something tells me that we'll be needing that." asked Qui-Gon Jinn.

R2-D2 beeped in contradiction.

"Sorry, we just ran out of rope a while ago." C-3PO told his friend. "We've been using it up ever since we started setting up death traps for Jar Jar."

And so our heroes were forced to spend an hour or two going to the store and purchasing the strongest pile of knotted hemp they could find…or simply put rope that would be strong enough to hold Jar Jar Binks in place.

Afterwards, our heroes explained to Jar Jar Binks that they were going to make a fireworks display, and asked Jar Jar Binks if he wanted to watch the show.

"Yay! Mesa love fireworks!" squealed Jar Jar Binks, agreeing almost immediately.

And so our heroes proceeded to purchase some fireworks from the store as well, including a large one that was about as tall as Jar Jar himself. Unfortunately, the fireworks was expensive, and our heroes were somewhat short on cash, so our heroes were forced to steal them from the shopkeeper while he was sleeping.

They hoped that they wouldn't have to deal with any legal repercussions from their larceny afterwards, due to the fact that they would likely interfere with future Gungan murders.

After our heroes finally arrived home, they waited until nightfall and then they went outside their house and launched several fireworks in the sky, distracting Jar Jar Binks for what they were about to do next.

"Yay! Look at them go boom!" cheered the obnoxious Gungan as he watched them all explode in various colors.

Suddenly, our heroes grabbed Jar Jar Binks by his arms and started taking him away.

"What are yousa guys doing?" questioned Jar Jar Binks.

"You love fireworks, right? Well this time we're giving you the best seat in the house to watch one of them explode." explained Anakin Skywalker.

"Enjoy the show!" taunted Qui-Gon Jinn.

Pulling out their trusty rope, they proceeded to tie Jar Jar Binks to the large firework they had saved for the occasion, and lit it up using some matches.

"Please! Don't do dis!" screamed Jar Jar Binks, who began struggling futilely against the sturdy ropes.

"So long friend!" Obi-Wan Kenobi gave his farewells.

Jar Jar Binks screamed rather loudly as he and the firework both rose up in the sky, exploding and taking the Gungan with it in a fantastic (albeit extremely gruesome) display.

"Talk about a way to celebrate the new year, huh?" Anakin Skywalker told his friends.

"You sure fireworks of those size are even legal?" asked C-3PO.

"Ah yes… now then, let's resurrect him for the first time in this year, shall we?" suggested Padme Amidala.

And so our heroes picked up Jar Jar's bloody remains from the explosion and used them to resurrect Jar Jar Binks, simply so they could kill him again sometime in the same year.

_Don't play with fireworks kids, you could blow your fingers off! Unless you're using them to blow off Jar Jar Binks' fingers, in which case it is totally OK…_

_Now then, what should I use to kill Jar Jar Binks next? I should probably start using some more violent ones seeing though I've been using particularly nasty ones at this point…but there are still so many options to decide…_

_So until then, wait for the next chapter, why don't you? Surely there will be other things you'll be able to do…_


	44. Pillow Fight

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Once again I've chosen a rather bizarre killing situation…suffice to say you've probably already guessed who's come up with it…let's watch Jar Jar Binks die through pillows, shall we?_

**Chapter 44: Pillow Fight**

Once again, Padme Amidala had come up with a suggestion to kill Jar Jar Binks…which was killing him through pillows.

Now you may be asking, how could Padme possibly kill Jar Jar Binks with this method? Well, there were several methods actually…naturally one of them included smothering him with one of the soft fluffy things…but they had already tried methods that involved suffocating Jar Jar Binks, so they wouldn't be doing that today.

Our only female protagonist invited some of her female friends (how she managed to get so many of them is a mystery considering the limited amount of women in the galaxy) and told them to come over for a girls-only party.

Jar Jar Binks also asked if he could join, due to the fact that he was a real party animal. Despite the fact that it was strictly a girl's party, Padme Amidala decided to let him join anyway, simply to fulfill her anti-Gungan bloodlust.

"Yay! Thank yousa!" squealed Jar Jar Binks.

"You sure we should have invited him?" asked one of Padme Amidala's friends.

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing." answered Padme.

After the girls played several games such as truth and dare (which naturally involved daring Jar Jar Binks to beat himself up), they decided for the main event to begin, which of course was pillow fighting.

"Now to put my plan into action…" thought the princess.

Placing some rather hard bricks into some pillows, Padme Amidala instructed her friends to gang up on Jar Jar due to the fact that he was so annoying. They immediately agreed.

What happened next was rather nasty yet extremely enjoyable as Jar Jar Binks was struck in the face repeatedly with several feathery pillow turned into weapons of mass destruction.

"Ouchies! Stop it! Yousa hurting mesa!" demanded the Gungan. But of course they ignored them.

Pretty soon the Gungan's fragile body couldn't take it anymore, and Jar Jar Binks fell on the floor dead. Unfortunately, a large amount of blood came out of him a short while afterwards, which would have to be cleaned by C-3PO later.

It was at that moment that our remaining heroes came into the room to check if Padme's latest killing method was a success…which as it turns out wasn't a good idea due to the fact that they hadn't been invited…

"What's going on?" questioned Anakin Skywalker.

"Did you kill Jar Jar Binks?" inquired Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Sirs, I suggest we get out of here at once." warned C-3PO. But it was too late.

What happened next was yet another act of violence as the girls proceeded to beat up the boys for invading their party and kicked them out of the house, locking them out in the cold so they couldn't get back inside.

"Well, this sucks." complained Qui-Gon Jinn.

R2-D2 beeped with agreement.

Unfortunately, due to the low temperatures outside, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Qui-Gon Jinn ultimately froze to death. Thankfully C-3PO and R2-D2 were safe due to the fact that they were robots and therefore were somewhat resistant to hypothermia, and they were still alive when Padme Amidala came back the next day.

"What have I done?" screamed Padme Amidala, who immediately resurrected her friends that she had inadvertently killed.

What happened next was obvious in the fact that they had done it a million times before. Using the Book of Resurrection, Jar Jar Binks was resurrected so that they could kill him once again.

"Dat was some party, huh?" the alien told Padme.

"Ah yes…it was a party you died for…" Padme Amidala replied, once again making a rather nasty pun.

Unfortunately, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn were very mad at Padme Amidala for what she had done, and they demanded a bit more than an apology.

"You mean I have to wear this for the rest of the week?" screeched Padme Amidala, noticing the bunny costume they had bought for her.

The others nodded a firm "Yes."

Suffice to say Padme Amidala made her fanboys very happy that day…although she wasn't exactly happy about it herself…

But at least she had executed Jar Jar Binks once again, and made his haters (primarily the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization) celebrate that particular day.

What grisly fate awaited the Gungan next was a mystery…but it would certainly be painful and gruesome…

_I've already thought up another killing method for our Gungan archenemy…and like I said it's going to be painful and gruesome…_

_I'll give you a hint…the next killing method is part of Mexican culture…yes that's right killing methods can come for the strangest sources…_


	45. Pinata

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will be tied up like a piñata…and will be subsequently whacked to death…I'm pretty sure that you get the idea…_

**Chapter 45: Pinata**

Qui-Gon Jinn decided to kill Jar Jar Binks in a method that would be quite painful for the Gungan but would be candy for his friends…using him as a piñata and then beating the crud out of him with baseball bats. Why baseball bats? Because our heroes are fans of the Yankees!

Said baseball bats would also be covered with some rather sharp, deadly spikes for good measure, just to make sure that he would be a bloody mess when our heroes were through with him.

"So, are you guys ready to kill him?" our hero inquired, ready to get the show on the road.

"I'm always ready to kill Jar Jar." answered Anakin Skywalker, jumping up into the air.

"Let's make him suffer!" agreed Padme Amidala, cracking her knuckles.

"He must die." demanded Obi-Wan Kenobi, pulling out his lightsaber.

"Long live the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization!" yelled the reprogrammed C-3PO, putting his hands up into the air.

R2-D2 beeped something along C-3PO's lines, and went across the room.

Shortly after announcing their intentions (which was recorded on Youtube), our Jedis went looking for the little soon to be dead bug-eyed freak…sure enough there he was, harassing several other Gungans. As it turns out, he was hated among even his own kind. Can you imagine that?

"Whoops!" screeched Jar Jar Binks as he toppled an expensive-looking cardboard cutout in front of a store. Naturally this made the shop owner angry…but our heroes couldn't let let him kill our hated Star Wars character with his shotgun due to the fact that this would be anticlimactic, so they calmed him down.

"What an idiot…" thought Anakin Skywalker. "Hey Jar Jar! Want to have some fun?"

"Oh boy!" squealed the Gungan as he went onboard our heroes' space vehicle.

The five of them stopped at a nearby sports store along the way to the execution ground, causing the alien to think that his friends were going to play baseball with him. If only he knew how wrong he was…

Our heroes took their nemesis to a nearby tree…and tied him up using some handy rope…which they had been using a lot of the time, suspending him up in the air with his arms and legs holding on to the tree.

"Hey! What is da meaning of dis? Put mesa down!" bellowed Jar Jar Binks, trying to free himself from his predicament. As before, he had absolutely no success, and he remained exactly where he was.

Our heroes then pulled out the baseball bats they had bought earlier out of seemingly nowhere…and proceeded to beat him to death, giving him broken bones, concussions, and causing him to bleed. Basically, he suffered a lot.

"No! Stop! Please! Aaaahhh!" screamed Jar Jar Binks as he died a gruesome death at the hands of his friends once again.

"Man that was satisfying!" squealed Padme Amidala, looking at the Gungan's blood which was now splattered all over the tree.

"It is done." stated Obi-Wan Kenobi, satisfied at the handiwork.

"I'm just disappointed that blood came out of him instead of candy." complained Anakin Skywalker, who wanted something tangy to eat.

"Surely we should resurrect him like usual? It's become a habit of ours lately." suggested C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped that they should indeed do so if they ever wanted to kill him again.

And so our heroes did, using the sacred book of resurrecting those that had died…as well as other purposes for those who want to murder people repeatedly.

Of course, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization won't be selling it to you because they're actually a bunch of jerks, so no resurrecting people from the dead or otherwise practicing necromancy for you!

_Unfortunately, I have a cold and my nose simply won't stop running, so I probably won't be able to write that much until I get better, so I'll see you again whenever I'm feeling well, I guess._

_In the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks will attract the attention of the emperor himself…looks like he's in trouble…_


	46. Storm Troopers

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will attract the attention of the emperor…and suffice to say he'll suffer unfortunate consequences for making him angry…_

**Chapter 46: Storm Troopers**

Jar Jar Binks was being very naughty (and being very dumb). He was hacking into the Imperial Military's computer systems, and was now broadcasting a message to everyone in the Death Star. Why you may ask? The answer was simple. The Gungan wanted nothing less than their attention.

As soon as he started violating intergalactic law, the monitors suddenly turned static.

"What in the galaxy is going on?" bellowed Grand Moff Tarkin.

"We've lost the signal, sir." informed a random member of the Imperial army.

Suddenly, the Gungan appeared onscreen on all of the monitors and started speaking, giving many of the officers observing them heart attacks.

"Yo guys wassup! Mesa hack into yousa computers! Enjoy seeing mesa ugly face, cuz esa gonna keep doing dis until mesa don't feel like it anymore!" squealed the alien.

Tarkin was outraged. Immediately, he left the base, went to the Imperial Castle, and informed the Emperor of the horrible crisis. Palpatine demanded that they locate the offender and make him undergo an execution for his misdeeds.

Unfortunately for Jar Jar Binks, he was stupid and informed the Imperial Military of his name and where he lived, and pretty soon Storm Troopers were sent by the Emperor and were marching towards his house using the directions he had given them.

But this did not bother the oblivious Gungan, who decided to sit back and watch TV minutes before his death, as watching television was his favorite thing in the world.

"Heehee! Mesa love the telly!" laughed Jar Jar Binks.

Suddenly, the Storm Troopers burst down the door to the house and loaded their weapons, aiming every single one of them at you-know-who.

"We've got you surrounded, Gungan! Prepare to die!" yelled the evil minions.

"What da cr-" Jar Jar Binks was cut off in mid sentence as Storm Troopers busted every single cap they had into him, killing their helpless victim in seconds.

"Did we get him?" asked one of the Storm Troopers.

"Yes, he is dead, just as the emperor demanded. Let's go have a beer party, guys!" suggested another one of the Storm Troopers.

"You think we should bring back his head in order to prove that we did it?" inquired yet another of the Storm Troopers.

"Sounds good! I suggest that we mount it on the wall later or something." agreed a particularly nasty Storm Trooper. He immediately took out a hacksaw and started cutting Jar Jar Binks' head off. It worked surprisingly well, and it fell on the floor almost immediately.

"Now let's go have a beer party!" exclaimed the Storm Troopers, who left the house in order to have satisfy their craving for alcoholic beverages.

Naturally, our heroes heard the sound of bullets being unloaded into Jar Jar Binks, and came into the room to find his decapitated and bloody corpse which suffice to say had left a nasty stain on the couch. They also noticed that the door had been mysteriously vandalized.

They did not mind the fact that Jar Jar Binks was suddenly dead, but rather the mess he had made.

"That blood and gore is going to take forever to come out of the couch!" complained Padme Amidala.

"Once again, it's your job to clean up this mess and repair the door." demanded ObI-Wan Kenobi.

"It seems we're not the only people who don't like Jar Jar Binks." thought Anakin Skywalker, who suddenly remembered the day in which the cloaked man gave him his favorite book in the world.

"Let's resurrect him using the resurrection book. Wait, do we need his head?" wondered Qui-Gon Jinn.

Thankfully, they did not need his head, as it automatically regenerated as soon as they finished the spell.

"Mesa have killer headache…hey! Why is dere blood on da couch?" pondered Jar Jar Binks.

"Trust me, we don't exactly get it either." Anakin Skywalker explained.

R2-D2 beeped that his guess was as good as mine.

"Oh, well mesa hope that it get clean soon. Mesa want to watch teevee!" demanded Jar Jar Binks.

And so C-3PO was forced to clean up the couch so that the Gungan could watch TV and repair the door so that burglars could not get inside while our heroes plotted their next action against Jar Jar.

_And that's why you don't screw around with the Imperial Military…unless you're part of the Rebel Alliance, in which case it is acceptable._


	47. Beaten to Death

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter our heroes will kill Jar Jar Binks…by beating the crud out of him! You'll never guess who actually does it to him though…OK maybe some of you might be able to guess…but then again maybe you won't._

_Also, I recently saw The Phantom Menace…it's funny how Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala were both children…but I guess that's just the way it is…_

**Chapter 47: Beaten to Death**

Jar Jar Binks once again had the sudden urge to use the bathroom. He just couldn't take it anymore. Why he always needed to use the toilet was a mystery. Perhaps he was always drinking Gungan juice? Or maybe he had a diseased prostate. Either way, he once again had a bathroom emergency.

"Mesa need to pee real badly!" bellowed the Gungan. "Mesa can't take it anymore!"

Thus, Jar Jar Binks ran as far as his legs could take him towards the bathroom. He heard the sound of water splashing, suggesting that the bathroom was already occupied.

But of course the dimwitted Gungan didn't pay attention to that, and decided to go inside anyway.

As it turns out, Padme Amidala was taking a bubble bath, and was happily relaxing, until Jar Jar Binks barged into the bathroom without knocking and took a leak right in front of her.

If he was smart, he would have paid attention to the fact that Padme needed her privacy as well. But naturally he took no heed, even deciding to talk to her.

"Hey Padme! Wassup!" greeted Jar Jar as he did his business.

This would turn out to be Jar Jar Binks' last mistake prior to his next resurrection. Screaming with rage at the alien's intrusion, Padme Amidala came out of the bathtub, put on a towel, and proceeded to beat the crud out of Jar Jar Binks using only her fists.

"Ouch! Stop Padme! What is da meaning of dis? Please stop!" inquired Jar Jar Binks.

Jar Jar Binks died within minutes due to taking far too many blows to the head…which naturally caused his brain to suffer permanent damage.

Afterwards, the princess went out of the bathroom and proceeded to tell Anakin Skywalker about the good news. Naturally, her fanboys were ecstatic that she decided not to get dressed at that particular moment.

"Why are you only dressed in a towel, Padme? Are you trying to seduce me or something?" asked Anakin Skywalker curiously.

"Well I was in a hurry due to the fact that I managed to kill Jar Jar Binks again…that little bugger got what was going, I'll say." answered Padme Amidala.

"Great job! I knew you could do it by yourself…" Anakin Skywalker applauded, giving her a high five.

Unfortunately, this had an unintended side effect of making Padme's towel fall off.

"Aah!" screamed Anakin Skywalker as he immediately suffered an enormous nosebleed.

What happened next was an enormous screech from Padme Amidala that shattered most of the windows in the house. They would need to be repaired by the Book of Rsurrection later. Thankfully, she decided not to harm Anakin due to the fact that she loved him, although she did slap him in the face.

"Sorry!" apologized Anakin.

A few minutes later, our heroine decided to resurrect Jar Jar Binks using the magic item they've used for so long, even though this would likely mean that he would invade her privacy again in the near future.

"Serves that little pig right…seriously? Invading my privacy like that…he's lucky I didn't decide to kill him off for good…" thought Padme as she recalled why she had killed him in the first place.

Once again, C-3PO had to clean up the mess off the floor.

"Why do I always have to do this?" wondered out loud C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped that he was the only robot for the job.

"What do you mean I'm the only robot for the job? Surely you could help me with this." questioned C-3PO.

Suddenly, they both thought about why Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn hadn't showed up yet. Surely they would have popped up by now?

As it turns out, they were currently on vacation.

"This is the life, huh Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon Jinn told his apprentice.

"Wait, didn't you die in the first movie? And didn't you tell me to take Anakin Skywalker as my apprentice right before you died?" Obi-Wan Kenobi asked him.

"Don't tell them that! You'll spoil the surprise! And who cares? This is just a fanfic! Now let's stop breaking the fourth wall, shall we? If we keep doing that, there'll probably be a disturbance in the force… " demanded the Jedi Master.

"You know, I can't help but get the feeling that Jar Jar Binks perished while we were gone. I wonder what happened to him?" the Jedi apprentice asked his master.

_As you can see, this chapter was even more comedic than usual…which I believe will cause you to enjoy it even more…_

_Now, how should I kill Jar Jar Binks the next chapter? I guess I'll just browse the reviews…_


	48. Police Brutality

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die through a method which suffice to say, is no way to uphold the law. Sit back and enjoy watching how to get fired from the police force…and hope that our heroes don't end up in jail._

**Chapter 48: Police Brutality**

Curious as to what Jar Jar Binks had been up to lately, Obi-Wan Kenobi decided to investigate his criminal record to see if there was anything he could against him in the future.

As it turns out, the Gungan had previously been arrested for several minor crimes even before our heroes had gotten to know him, such as jaywalking, driving far above the speed limit, and public indecency.

"Interesting." thought the Jedi apprentice, as he continued browsing his former friend's misdeeds, wondering why he wasn't in jail considering what a menace he was.

Suddenly, Obi-Wan Kenobi got an idea of how to kill the Gungan next…they would sign up to be part of the police force, and then use their firearms and whatever else they got for handling criminals in order to enact a flagrant mockery of justice.

Unfortunately, the police chief was smart and didn't give them what they wanted immediately. Apparently he wanted to test the would-be cops to see if they were responsible first.

"Sorry, but I don't want you blowing anyone's heads off." explained the police chief.

Reluctantly, our heroes agreed to arrest a series of low-class criminals that had been harassing the local populace before they were given the necessary tools for executing Jar Jar.

"I knew that it seemed too easy…" thought Padme.

Suffice to say, they did surprisingly well, although Anakin Skywalker received a black eye from one of the criminals when he punched him in the face.

"Ouch!" exclaimed Anakin Skywalker, who began rubbing a steak against his injured pupil.

Finally, they were given the weapons and were ready to kill Jar Jar Binks. Now all they had to do was wait for their nemesis to commit a crime that would attract police attention…which surprisingly didn't take long at all.

As it turns out, the Gungan had gotten himself in trouble while they were off arresting various delinquents that simply wouldn't stop causing chaos. He was currently running around in his underwear at a local park, and was attacking anybody that got too close to him aside from scarring them for life.

"Get away from mesa! Yousa all have ugly faces! Mesa gonna beat yousa up! " bellowed Jar Jar Binks. Apparently he had consumed far too much alcohol again and had taken his clothes off to feel the summer breeze.

Immediately, they were sent by the police chief to deal with the troublemaker. As soon as our "heroes" and "policemen" saw him, they proceeded to assault him with their police batons, spray pepper spray in his eyes, and shoot them with their guns all at once. Jar Jar Binks naturally couldn't tolerate these many forms of violence and fell on the ground dead shortly afterwards, blood oozing out of his corpse.

"Take that, you filthy anarchist!" screeched Qui-Gon Jinn as he pumped his hated adversary full of lead.

Unfortunately, as it turned out, killing a suspect whose only threat to them were his fists, feet, and teeth wasn't exactly the best way to uphold the law. They were suspended from the police force for their despicable actions and the press had a field day discussing police brutality.

"What did you expect?" inquired C-3PO from the disappointed ex-police officers as they went back home.

R2-D2 beeped in unison at what his good friend had to say.

But on the upside, they were able to resurrect Jar Jar Binks as soon as everybody left the park…which was rather quick considering seeing people die usually freaked civilians out.

Our heroes resurrected the Gungan, ready to kill him again in the future…however this time around, they wouldn't be the ones doing the killing…

_That's right…in the next chapter, a guest star will be doing the killing…can you guess who it is? I'll give you a hint, it's a horror icon you've probably been dying to see…well not literally, but I'm sure you know what I mean…_

_And remember kids, don't get trigger-happy when you're a police officer!_


	49. Nightmare

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_It looks like Jar Jar Binks is going to die through yet another horror icon…I bet you've probably guessed which one it is by now just by the title…but if not…oh well._

**Chapter 49: Nightmare**

Jar Jar Binks' death was particularly peculiar this time around. For the most part, the day had gone by smoothly…except for the time Anakin Skywalker tried to drop an anvil on Jar Jar Binks' head and failed.

After cursing his ill luck, Anakin Skywalker decided that he and his friends would kill Jar Jar Binks another day, and our heroes therefore went back home and decided to get some sleep, as it was near midnight and they needed their brainpower to come up with new ways to kill Jar Jar Binks.

Unfortunately for the Gungan, he would end up experiencing the big sleep that night from a monstrous man that wanted to do things to him…

It all started when he went to bed, dreaming about the things he usually did, such as female Gungans in bikinis.

Suddenly, he noticed that something seemed odd about this particular dream. For one thing, it seemed awfully realistic…too realistic in Jar Jar Binks' mind.

In fact, he felt like he was physically there…his fears were confirmed when he injured himself by accident when he fell over on his face due to his clumsiness and was able to feel pain when he scraped his knee on the pavement.

"What's going on? Mesa have bad feeling about this." wondered Jar Jar Binks, who started to look around him.

Suddenly, a man wearing a hat and with claws for one of his hands approached Jar Jar Binks. He had very burnt skin, causing the latter to wonder what had happened to him.

"Freddy's coming for you, alien freak!" laughed the psychopathic serial killer.

"Why are yousa in mesa dream? Yousa dream yousa own dreams! Yousa get out of mesa head!" demanded Jar Jar Binks.

"What can I say? I was given the power to invade other people's dreams so I can kill them in their sleep from some friends of mine…" the monster of a man continued.

"Why yousa have burned skin? Yousa should see da doctor about that! Maybe he could help yousa!" suggested Jar Jar Binks.

"I usually kill the doctors I see." answered the burnt man.

"Yousa scary dude! Mesa want out of dream world right now! Let mesa out of here!" screeched Jar Jar Binks.

At this point, Freddy couldn't tolerate anymore of Jar Jar Binks' obnoxious behavior. He proceeded to slit Jar Jar Binks' throat with his glove, causing blood to gush everywhere.

"Yousa cut me up real good, why yousa have to do that?" asked Jar Jar Binks, right before he died.

Unfortunately for the Gungan, anything that happened to him in the dream world would also affect him in the real world as well, meaning that he had actually died at the hands of the deadly dream-invading killer.

Surprisingly, our heroes had slept through all of his screaming, and remained asleep even as he died. Perhaps they had taken some sleeping pills to help them go to sleep?

This particular fact worked well for the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization, as they were supposed to pick them up that day and load them into their van for their next brainwashing.

Careful not to wake them up in the process, they proceeded to take our heroes towards the van. Suffice to say, they were pleasantly surprised when they found out that Jar Jar had somehow been killed while he was in bed, and resurrected him using the Book of Resurrection.

Jar Jar Binks would once again meet his death at the hands of his worst enemies (that's right, worse than his so-called friends), but of course that's not exactly shocking.

_Can you guess how Jar Jar Binks will die next? The last sentence in this chapter should be a clue if you haven't guessed already._


	50. Force Lightning

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will get the honor of being killed by Emperor Palpatine himself…or as he was at the time Chancellor Palpatine…_

_It's a good thing there's an organization for killing Jar Jar Binks, isn't there?_

**Chapter 50: Force Lightning**

Following the events of the previous chapter, Jar Jar Binks was taken away towards the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization along with all of his friends, who at the time were being brainwashed using an evil psychiatrist.

Naturally, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization decided to kill Jar Jar in a very gruesome way, through being executed by Force Lightning.

But there was a problem…none of the members were force-sensitive, let alone part of the dark side of the force. How were they going to kill him using Force Lightning?

They considered simply electrocuting him using the electric chair, but they remembered they had already tried that, thanks to the records they took every time Jar Jar Binks met a gruesome end.

Their problem was a perplexing one, indeed.

Suddenly, one of them got an idea.

"Maybe we could send him to Chancellor Palpatine." suggested one of the group members.

And so the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization stuffed Jar Jar Binks inside a crate, causing him to wake up from his sleep.

"Why is mesa in package?" wondered Jar Jar Binks. Clearly he had gone to bed at his household instead of at the post office.

Immediately, it was mailed straight towards the Chancellor himself, who was still angry at him for the prank he pulled when he hijacked the computers.

"It's a shame you can only kill someone once." thought the evil Chancellor.

Suddenly, one of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization members came in.

"Package delivery!" stated the Jar Jar Binks hater.

"I didn't remember ordering anything." thought Chancellor Palpatine. Nonetheless, he decided to open it anyway, and was disgusted at what was inside.

"Wow! It's the chancellor! Mesa so glad to see yousa in the flesh!" squealed Jar Jar Binks in delight.

The more Jar Jar spoke to him, the more annoyed Chancellor Palpatine got. And suffice to say he had a very short breaking point.

"That does it!" screeched the chancellor, who proceeded to electrocute Jar Jar Binks with his deadly force powers.

"Ouchies! Why yousa giving mesa shock therapy? Mesa not need shock therapy!" claimed the Gungan.

Chancellor Palpatine continued, making the force lightning increasing painful as he went along to inflict maximum suffering.

"Stop it! Yousa giving mesa horrible pain! Cut it out already!" complained Jar Jar Binks.

Eventually, the chancellor had enough of tormenting the Gungan, and decided to finish him off once and for all.

"And now young Gungan, you die…" laughed the madman as he delivered the finishing blow.

As Palpatine electrocuted him one last time, Jar Jar Binks suddenly remembered there was a sense of irony to this. After all, he was the one who suggested that Palpatine should have vast emergency powers…which suffice to say the chancellor used at a whim.

"Why mesa have to die dis way?" thought Jar Jar as he was electrocuted to death.

Afterwards, the Storm Troopers disposed of his body and tossed it into an intergalactic dumpster, where it was found by the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization.

"There he is! Resurrect him!" ordered the group's leader.

Immediately, Jar Jar Binks's injuries from the deadly lightning disappeared and he was walking upright once again.

"Why mesa feel like mesa was struck by lightning? And why was mesa in a dumpster?" thought the alien.

"You passed out, so we decided to wake you up by giving you a jolt of electricity." stated the leader of the group, which interestingly was a half-truth.

"Oh! Well thanks for helping me!" Jar Jar Binks happily cheered as he went back home.

_Well, it looks like we're already halfway finished with this fanfic, aren't we? We certainly have come a long way in such a short period of time…_

_In the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks will meet his end through a method I came up with after watching a movie that came out fairly recently…_

_Can you guess what it is? Come on, I'd like to see some guesses…_


	51. Hunger Games

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_I hope you enjoyed the 50__th__ chapter special…because now I'm going to kill off Jar Jar Binks using another movie reference…of course it could also be considered a book reference considering the movie is also a book…_

_Aargh, this is making my head spin! Let's just kill Jar Jar Binks once again, won't we?_

**Chapter 51: Hunger Games**

Once again, our heroes decided to go on a vacation. This time, it was towards a country known as Panem. Apparently, our heroes thought it was lovely.

What our heroes didn't realize was that it was actually quite the dystopia. Every year, one boy and one female in one out of twelve districts were forced to participate in a sick game known as the Hunger Games, where each tribute hunts down and kills each other until one of them is left.

Apparently the capitol invented this to keep the rebels under control, which suffice to say was actually quite a familiar concept to our heroes.

Suffice to say, as soon as our heroes arrived at the planet, they were immediately approached by several Capitol security officers.

"You must come with us." ordered the officers.

"Did we drive too fast or something?" wondered Anakin Skywalker.

As it turns out, they were being taken towards the Reaping, the procedure in which the male and female would be chosen for the games. A lady who interestingly looked about as annoying as Jar Jar Binks himself proceeded to pick a piece of paper out of a bowl…

…when suddenly Jar Jar Binks volunteered for the games, having no idea what was he getting himself into.

"Pick mesa! Mesa!" demanded Jar Jar Binks.

Suffice to say, Jar Jar Binks was chosen to be the male representive for the twelveth district. In order to keep an eye on Jar Jar Binks (and get to kill him herself), Padme Amidala decided to volunteer for the Hunger Games as well.

After a week of preparing (causing both of them to wonder what the Hunger Games was actually about), they were sent to the arena, where they would play a game of survival of the fittest.

Suffice to say, Padme Amidala spent a few days of hell as she was hunted down by the bloodthirsty careers (a group of tributes who decided to work together up until the point where they decided to kill each other), a group of tracker jackers (cybernetic wasps that could cause powerful hallucinations with their venom), and even muttations (vicious wolves made from the bodies of tributes).

Apparently the gamemakers thought that the Hunger Games were fun for the tributes, as they kept adding death traps for each of the tributes.

Thankfully, Padme Amidala had decent survival skills (for one thing, she was smart enough not to head towards the weapons that were laid around the Cornucopia and get herself killed), and was able to hold on up until the point where the second-to-last-cannon sounded.

"I guess that means there's only one person left." thought Padme Amidala, glad that the nightmare was almost over.

"Hey Padme! Wassup!" greeted Jar Jar Binks.

Padme Amidala dropped her jaw in disbelief. How the heck had he survived?

_Flashback to when the Hunger Games officially started…_

The tributes ran towards the Cornucopia, collecting various weapons and other things they would use to survive later…unfortunately, most of them wouldn't even survive the first day.

It was quite a bloodbath…thanks to Jar Jar Binks.

"Whoa guys! Yousa sure yousa should be playing with thesa weapons?" asked Jar Jar Binks.

Suddenly, the tributes fell down screaming in agony. Apparently they weren't nearly as used to Jar Jar Binks' obnoxiousness as his friends were.

"What's da matter? Are yousa feeling okay?" asked Jar Jar Binks.

Every word that came out of Jar Jar Binks' words was like a dagger piercing their skin.

Some of the tributes were smart and ran away from the deadly Gungan, but most of them had already been caught by his deadly trap which he had set up by himself inadvertently.

"See yousa guys later!" said Jar Jar Binks.

By the time he said that, the majority of the tributes were already dead.

_End of flashback…_

"Die you annoying piece of crap!" screamed Padme Amidala, who shot Jar Jar Binks several times with the bow and arrow she had stolen from one of the careers.

"Why yousa shoot mesa?" asked Jar Jar Binks, right before he died.

Suffice to say, Padme Amidala was crowned the winner of the twisted tournament, and she was allowed to return towards her friends and family.

"What kind of person takes pleasure in watching other people suffer?" spoke the disgusted Anakin Skywalker.

"People who have turned to the dark side, apparently." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"I hope I don't have to participate in a game like this." hoped Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Hey guys, I'm back!" Padme Amidala informed the rest.

"You survived?" stated C-3PO in disbelief.

Suffice to say, our heroes were all pleasantly surprised by all of this.

And to make matters even better, Padme was smart enough to hide Jar Jar Binks inside a body bag so that he could be resurrected later.

In fact, they did so as soon as he went home.

_I hope you enjoyed this little parody…now then, what should I use for the next chapter? Would you guys like another movie reference? Or do you want something more original. It's your choice._


	52. Exsanguination

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die thanks to a certain vampire we know from virtually everywhere…suffice to say it's self-evident how he's going to kill him._

_Unfortunately, he's probably going to kill Jar Jar Binks' friends too considering he's an extremely bloodthirsty one…oh well, you can't have everything._

**Chapter 52: Exsanguination**

For their next vacation (how many times they were going to do was a mystery), our heroes decided to hang out at a spooky castle at a rather ominous-looking planet, one that was shrouded in darkness.

"I can't figure out why you decided to visit such a place." C-3PO spoke his opinions.

R2-D2 beeped that this didn't seem like such a good idea.

They had received various warnings from the villagers not to go inside the enormous castle on account of there being a vampire that lives there, but our heroes took no heed.

"What a bunch of baloney." thought Anakin Skywalker. His ignorant attitude would ultimately prove to be his undoing that day.

When our heroes entered the castle during daytime, they noticed that everything seemed perfectly normal. Well, aside from the fact that there was a coffin in one of the rooms and the fact that there were portraits of a grim-looking man everywhere. Perhaps that man was the owner of this place?

But our heroes took no heed of that, and decided to explore the castle to see if they could find anything interesting. They nearly got lost once or twice due to how big the castle was, but thankfully they managed to find a map of the castle so nothing happened.

"I don't know guys, this place might be dangerous." warned Padme Amidala.

"I have to say I agree with her on this one." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Nonsense apprentice, what's the worst thing that can happen?" Qui-Gon Jinn threw caution to the wind.

At night, while our heroes were sleeping, Jar Jar Binks ended up being the first victim.

"Mesa hungry! Mesa head to the refrigerator so mesa can get a snack or something." exclaimed Jar Jar Binks.

The Gungan thought he heard the sound of the coffin opening, but he took no heed to this.

This was a fatal mistake. As soon as the Gungan examined the refrigerator (and was horrified to discover a severed head in there), he was immediately attacked by Dracula.

"Are yousa da owner of dis castle?" inquired Jar Jar, oblivious to who the vampire was.

"Yes, yes I am." confirmed Dracula, right before he drank all of his blood.

Unfortunately, he wasn't the only victim that night. Anakin Skywalker and Qui-Gon Jinn were also drained of their blood when they went off by themselves. Right before this incident happened, they found a trail of blood leading to Jar Jar's corpse.

"What happened to Jar Jar? Did you kill him?" Anakin Skywalker asked.

"I'm afraid not! Some dark force is at work here." denied Qui-Gon.

"I believe I know who killed your friend." Dracula answered, right before he attacked the two of them.

"Aargh!" they screamed as Dracula drained them to death with his sharp trademark fangs.

C-3PO also met his end that night. While he wasn't a victim of Dracula, he nonetheless became obsolete as he slipped and fell into the castle moat courtesy of a banana peel that Jar Jar Binks carelessly left behind, causing him to shatter into pieces when he hit the ground.

"Curious…" thought Dracula as he examined C-3PO's robotic corpse.

In other words, Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and R2-D2 were the only survivors of the hassle in the castle. They found the bodies of their friends the next morning.

"I warned them what would happen if we stayed around here too long." Padme Amidala sighed.

"But of course they didn't listen." continued Obi-Wan Kenobi.

After repairing C-3PO and resurrected those that had fallen, our heroes decided to leave the castle before Dracula attacked him again. He had already gotten enough blood as it was.

Speaking of the horrible and dangerous vampire, he was currently sleeping in his coffin with his evil teddy bear, dreaming about killing Jar Jar Binks repeatedly. Apparently he wanted to drink his delicious blood once again.

_Next time our heroes should probably bring a stake…or some garlic…or a crucifix…or a flashlight…or anything else effective against vampires…_


	53. Crime Family

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die from being executed by intergalactic criminals…oh and yes, this is another reference to a particular movie…which again you might be able to guess._

_Any guesses? It should probably be obvious by the title…_

**Chapter 53: Crime Family**

Our heroes had gotten a spontaneous idea…that wasn't related to killing Jar Jar Binks. They had decided to create a movie based on their various adventures…

How would they get that kind of money, you ask? Let's just say that the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization had decided to give them an enormous check and leave it at that, will you? I don't want to open up an enormous plot hole that would swallow our heroes…although I would enjoy it if our Gungan friend died that way…

Things were going surprisingly well. They had even managed to set up an epic trailer for the movie, one that would be sure to bring in many viewers at the movie theater.

Due to the fact that Jar Jar Binks was extremely annoying like always and they all hated him so much, they decided to have him be the cameraman instead of simply being one of the stars in the movie.

"Lights, camera, action!" squealed the dimwitted Gungan in a cliché manner.

Our heroes were auditioning when suddenly an old friend of theirs showed up…it was Jabba the Hutt, who began speaking to them in a language they couldn't understand.

"What the heck is he saying?" Anakin Skywalker asked.

"He's saying that he wants his son over there to be in the movie." C-3PO informed.

R2-D2 beeped at Jabba angrily.

As it turns out, Jabba had brought his son Rotta with him, who looked rather excited.

"Listen, I'm afraid you cannot simply waltz in here uninvited and demand that your son be part of the movie. That's not how it works." explained Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"I'm pretty sure we have enough actors as it is. We're not doing any more auditions." continued Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Get out of here before I call the guards!" demanded Padme Amidala.

"You're going to regret that…" warned Jabba the Hutt as he left with his crying son, already plotting his revenge.

_A few days later…_

Anakin Skywalker was in bed, dreaming about making millions…not like he hadn't done so already thanks to that enormous gift the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization had given him for his efforts in destroying the Gungan menace.

As soon as he woke up however, he noticed that something was rather odd.

"Jar Jar Binks, what the heck are you doing in my bed?" screeched Anakin Skywalker. Apparently he had decided to invade the Jedi's privacy, which was somewhat unusual since he would usually do so with Padme.

Jar Jar curiously did not answer. Since when was he so quiet? Last time he checked he never stopped talking, even when he went to bed.

"Giving me the silent treatment, huh? Well, you're going to have to sleep in your own bed. Now get out!" screamed Anakin as he pushed Jar Jar to the ground.

Suddenly, our hero discovered that the alien had been decapitated...and he had gotten blood all over his fine bed.

"Hmm, it seems that Jabba the Hutt somehow severed his head and placed it inside my bed while I was sleeping…alright, change of plans, I'm going to let that slimy son of his be in my movie." thought Anakin Skywalker, not wanting Jabba the Hutt to move on to his friends and family.

After resurrecting Jar Jar Binks, Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, C-3PO, Rotta the Hutt, and R2-D2 all went off to star in Hollywood.

Their movie did rather well in the box office...suffice to say our heroes would be able to use more expensive killing methods in the future.

In other words, the possibilities of killing Jar Jar were pretty much limited by their imagination at that point…

_That's right, I decided to reference the Godfather…oh yes, this is also the third time that Jar Jar Binks has been slain by Jabba the Hutt…perhaps he'll join the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization one day?_

_See you next chapter, I guess._


	54. Dinosaurs

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, our heroes will visit Jurassic Park…suffice to say not all of them will be making it out alive…_

_Of course, we already know who one of the victims is going to be, so let's get this bloodbath started, shall we?_

**Chapter 54: Dinosaurs**

For their next vacation, our protagonists decided to visit Jurassic Park, which was a very interesting place due to the fact that there were dinosaurs residing there.

"Yay! Dinosaurs!" squealed Jar Jar Binks, who apparently was having quite a good time.

"You certainly have a particular friend." John Hammond, the architect of Jurassic Park pointed out to them.

"Yes, we know." concurred Padme.

"I thought that dinosaurs went extinct…" pointed out Anakin Skywalker, who had been reviewing intergalactic history.

"I used frog DNA to bring them back to life." explained John Hammond.

C-3PO raised a robotic eyebrow. "Excuse me, but I don't believe that's scientifically correct."

R2-D2 beeped that using frog DNA would not work.

John Hammond rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say…"

Little did our heroes know that this vacation would once again end in disaster…however, at this point, they should have probably known better than to go on a vacation in the first place.

Thanks to a computer hacker known as Dennis Nedry who wanted extra cash to settle his financial problems, the carnivorous dinosaurs were released from their containment and began attacking everyone that was still on the island.

"What's going on?" wondered Padme Amidala, who almost immediately suspected that something was wrong.

Suddenly, they heard fierce roaring coming from outside.

"Why can't I shake the feeling that was a Tyrannosaurus?" wondered Anakin Skywalker.

As it turns out, it was a T-Rex…and she had already escaped from her imprisonment after Nedry had shut the power to its cage down.

"Run!" screamed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

As so they all did, except for Jar Jar Binks, who stupidly decided to greet the deadly, oversized, and prehistoric reptile.

"Hi giant dinosaur! How are yousa doing today?" the Gungan inquired, being far too dumb to live.

His question was answered when the Tyrannosaurus lowered her head and swallowed him whole.

"Holy shit!" screamed Anakin Skywalker, who soiled his pants.

"Why did he even create the carnivores?" bellowed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"I can't help but shake the feeling that John Hammond wasn't as smart as he said he was." agreed Qui-Gon Jinn.

Suddenly, they heard a scream. As it turns out, Padme Amidala was under attack by the vicious Velociraptors, who were eating her alive.

"Why, author, why?" screeched the intergalactic princess as she was torn apart by the bloodthirsty dinos.

"No Padme!" screamed Anakin Skywalker. But it was too late, her fate was sealed.

Not long afterwards after they had gotten to a safe area, the Jedi apprentice broke down in tears.

"I can't live life without Padme!" screamed Anakin Skywalker, distraught at his girl's death.

"Calm down apprentice, there was nothing you could have d-" Obi-Wan Kenobi was cut short when Anakin Skywalker stabbed himself in the stomach with his lightsaber.

Thankfully, there weren't any more casualties after that (in part due to the fact that none of the dinosaurs wanted to eat C-3PO or R2-D2 as they were made of metal), and a rescue helicopter eventually arrived to carry our remaining heroes to safety.

Before actually getting on the chopper however, they made sure to resurrect their fallen friends using the Book of Resurrection…which unfortunately meant having more encounters with all of the carnivores.

"I love you…you love me…" sung one that curiously was purple.

"Make it stop! Make it stop!" yelled out Qui-Gon Jinn, covering his ears in pain.

After they were finally finished, they began to berate John Hammond for inviting them to a deathtrap.

"What the heck were you thinking when you designed this freaking place?" screamed Padme Amidala.

"Your dinosaurs killed my girlfriend!" bellowed Anakin Skywalker.

"Mesa had lots of fun!" cheered Jar Jar Binks, unaware of what had happened earlier.

John Hammond had no idea how to answer Padme and Anakin's questions.

Anyways, they all left Jurassic Park, watching as the dinosaurs reproduced thanks to the frog DNA which kept on changing their genders.

_Once again another vacation becomes a fiasco…any suggestions to where our heroes should go for their next trip?_

_Or should our heroes just stay at home and use something crafty to kill Jar Jar Binks again?_

_The choice is yours!_


	55. Stoned to Death

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die through being stoned to death…which interestingly enough is still being used today in some countries in the world…perhaps it's fortunate that we're currently using lethal injection…_

_Anyways, let's watch Jar Jar Binks feel the rock and die once again so we can get this chapter over with._

**Chapter 55: Stoned To Death**

Once again, our heroes decided to surf through various execution methods…there was quite an impressive bunch, meaning that they had quite of a lot of trouble deciding on just one.

"So many choices…" thought Anakin Skywalker as he continued reading his antithesis of the Book of Resurrection.

Suddenly, Obi-Wan Kenobi noticed one that seemed easy enough for disposing of Jar Jar…simply picking up some rocks and start throwing them at the worthless pest.

"Perhaps we could kill him this way?" he stated as he pointed his finger at one of the pages. "It seems simple enough to do."

Our heroes nonchalantly agreed at this.

"Alright, let's go get some rope and tie up Jar Jar so that he won't be a moving target. Wouldn't want to stone ourselves instead, wouldn't we?" agreed Padme Amidala.

Suddenly, our heroes realized they had a problem with doing so…not only had they run out of rope yesterday (they didn't have an infinite amount, contrary to what you may believe), but the store where they purchased their killing supplies was currently closed!

"What do we do?" asked Anakin Skywalker.

"Perhaps we should try to restrain Jar Jar Binks another way…" C-3PO suggested.

R2-D2 started beeping. Apparently, he had an idea.

"What's that? You say we should use a shovel?" inquired C-3PO.

And so our heroes went to get the shovel, which curiously was right next to them.

"I wonder how that got there?" thought Padme Amidala.

"Alright, let's do this." ordered Qui-Gon Jinn, picking up the gardening tool and holding it right next to his head.

Our heroes went to look for Jar Jar Binks, who as it turns out was currently playing outside chasing random butterflies.

"Yay! Mesa having fun!" squealed the Gungan as he ran around the yard like an idiot.

"Hey Jar Jar? Want to have some more fun?" asked Qui-Gon Jinn, right before knocking him out with the shovel.

A few minutes later, our heroes had completely buried Jar Jar underground, minus his hideous head due to the fact that they already buried him alive previously.

"Maybe we should try to bury him in an anthill next time and then cover his head with honey." suggested Padme Amidala.

"We'll do that some other time I suppose. For now, let's just go get the biggest stones that we can find." agreed Anakin Skywalker.

After collecting the stones, our heroes then woke up Jar Jar Binks so that all his pain receptors would be active; causing him to wonder what was going on.

"Let mesa out of dis smelly dirt!" screeched the alien, who futilely tried to free himself from his predicament. But once again, he failed.

Our heroes then proceeded to toss as many stones as they could find at the hapless Gungan. Eventually, one of them hit him hard enough that it shattered his skull, causing bone shards to pierce his miniscule brain. Unsurprisingly, this was quite lethal.

Of course, blood loss also played a part in Jar Jar's death, but that doesn't sound as gruesome, does it?

"Looks like we got him." pointed out Obi-Wan Kenobi as he investigated Jar Jar Binks' corpse.

Afterwards, our heroes unburied Jar Jar, pulled out the resurrection book, and proceeded to bring their chronic victim back from the dead. Suffice to say this would allow them to kill him again…but of course you should already know that.

Suddenly, our heroes got the idea of using yet another classic execution method on Jar Jar…

_Can you guess which one this is going to be? It's not going to be hanging…I can tell you that. After all, we already tried that, didn't we?_

_It's not going to be the electric chair either…considering that's a more modern one…_

_Now that I've eliminated those possibilities…can you guess what it's going to be now?_

_C'mon, take a good guess! Use your head!_


	56. Decapitation

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, our heroes are going to cut off Jar Jar Binks' head…using a guillotine! I bet you've probably been waiting for something like this…so let's get this over with, shall we?_

**Chapter 56: Decapitation**

Our heroes had come up with another execution method for killing Jar Jar Binks. They would kill him through cutting off his head…the only problem was that it would be swift and painless, in contrast to the more painful methods our heroes had come up with as of late.

Nonetheless, our heroes decided to go through with it, as it would be somewhat gruesome. The only problem was where were they going to find a guillotine?

As it turns out, there was one at the natural history museum…our heroes picked it up and carried it away, but not before disabling the cameras and killing all the guards.

"I hope the Book of Resurrection can reattach his head." thought Anakin Skywalker, not wanting Jar Jar to literally run around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Once again, our heroes decided to lure Jar Jar Binks into the trap. As usual, it was easy due to Jar Jar Binks' astonishing gullibility. All they had to do was that they were having a party with lots of delicious sweets.

"Cake and ice crame? Oh boyz!" squealed Jar Jar Binks as he dashed outside where his friends were waiting to kill him.

Padme Amidala snuck behind Jar Jar and knocked him out using her frying pan while he was searching for the cake and ice cream, and our heroes proceeded to fasten him to their guillotine.

He woke up soon enough, and immediately realized that he had been restrained.

"Let mesa go! What are yousa guys up to?" Jar Jar Binks asked.

"C'mon, Jar Jar Binks! Use your head!" answered Padme Amidala in a twisted manner.

Jar Jar Binks looked upwards and saw the blade right above his neck, and finally realized what his "friends" were planning to do to him.

"Stop! Pleasa! Mesa do anything! Mesa give yousa mesa credit card! Mesa give yousa mesa wallet! Mesa give yousa mesa lottery tickets! Don't kill mesa!" demanded Jar Jar Binks.

His cries for mercy were ignored as the executioner (Obi-Wan Kenobi in this case, who was even wearing an executioner's mask) flipped the lever, causing the blade to fall straight down and cut off Jar Jar's head, which rolled across the floor until it came to an abrupt halt.

"You think we should mount his head later? Or better yet, use his head to play bowling?" suggested Qui-Gon Jinn.

"We'll need to be able to resurrect him again later." disagreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Say, where are C-3PO and R2-D2?" wondered Padme Amidala.

Suddenly, an enormous explosion was heard from the household.

"Holy crap!" screamed Anakin Skywalker.

C-3PO and R2-D2 were sprawled across the floor, little more than scrap heaps. Apparently there was a gas leak in the house or something.

"What the heck just happened?" screeched Padme Amidala.

"Maybe we shouldn't have left those two to their own devices." murmured Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"I sure hope we have house insurance." agreed Qui-Gon Jinn.

"First things first, let's bring Jar Jar Binks from the dead. I think his corpse is already beginning to decompose." suggested Anakin Skywalker.

You should know what our heroes did next…but just to make things clear, our heroes brought Jar Jar Binks from the dead, used the repair spell to fix the house and repair C-3PO and R2-D2, and then did the hokey pokey. Well OK, maybe not that last one.

After tidying up, Obi-Wan Kenobi announced to Padme Amidala and Anakin Skywalker some spectacular news, they were all going on vacation at a ski resort at Hoth.

"Woohoo!" squealed Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala.

And so they got ready to travel to the coldest planet in the galaxy…and to kill Jar Jar Binks in various ways while they were at it. After all, he would want to tag along in the ride, although it would have probably been just as lethal to leave him unattended.

Pretty soon they were all ready, and they hopped aboard the space shuttle.

_Suffice to say our heroes will be killing Jar Jar Binks in various ways…ways that are related to the cold…_

_Before you all ask…yes I'm going to be using those bloodthirsty Wampas as one of the deaths…I also plan on using tauntauns, interestingly enough…_

_I suppose I'll be listening to suggestions as to how Jar Jar Binks should die there…after all; it would probably be more fun that way._


	57. Snow Plow

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter (which is part one of a rather icy special), our heroes are going to run Jar Jar Binks over with a snow plow…perhaps I should choose a steamroller for future episodes?_

_In retrospect, I should have probably timed this around Christmas…but who the heck cares?_

**Chapter 57: Snow Plow**

"Brr! It's cold!" complained Padme Amidala as she began shivering.

"According to my calculations, this planet is -61 degrees below zero." calculated C-3PO as he examined his surroundings.

"Thank you Captain Obvious." replied Qui-Gon Jinn.

R2-D2 beeped that his circuits were started to freeze.

Our heroes had arrived at Hoth, which suffice to say was one of the coldest planets in the galaxy. Our heroes were already freezing near to death.

"And to think there are creatures that actually live out here…" thought Anakin Skywalker as his teeth began chattering and his face began turning blue as a blueberry.

Thankfully, our heroes had fur coats (which Obi-Wan Kenobi had rented) to protect them from the horrific temperatures, but even so they got the feeling they wouldn't survive out in the cold for long. Would this be the end of our heroes?

Obi-Wan Kenobi had planned ahead and had also rented a cabin so that our heroes wouldn't have to sleep in the snow and probably end up getting killed. In other words, our heroes would have shelter for the time being.

"Maybe we'll survive this chilling nightmare…" thought Qui-Gon Jinn as he entered.

Unsurprisingly, Hoth was covered with a ton of snow. Suffice to say our heroes would have to shovel their hearts out if they were going to stay at the winter planet for long. Naturally, our main protagonist was chosen for this task.

"Why do I have to always do the work?" he thought, afraid that he would end up dying out there. Not like this was the first time that had happened to him…

Thankfully, there was a snow plow nearby (which Obi-Wan Kenobi bought off Ebay), so Anakin Skywalker was able to get to work.

"Stupid snow…always getting in our way." mumbled the boy as he operated the machine.

Suddenly, he noticed Jar Jar Binks playing outside, gleefully ignoring the fact that Hoth could be quite a dangerous planet. Initially he wondered how he could survive the subzero temperatures… but suddenly he got an idea.

"Mesa love catching snowflakes on mesa tongue!" squealed Jar Jar Binks, dancing around in the snow like the moron he was.

Driving his snow plow, Anakin Skywalker ran over Jar Jar Binks, burying him alive in a bunch of snow. Jar Jar Binks died from shock and possibly from the fact that he had been playing out in the cold for so long. Afterwards, the Jedi apprentice made him into a snowman.

"Heh heh, Jar Jar Snowman…" snickered Anakin Skywalker as he added a magical hat to Jar Jar.

Suddenly, Jar Jar Binks came back to life.

"Yay! Mesa snowman now!" squealed the Gungan snowman.

"How did this happen? I didn't even get out of the Book of Resurrection yet!" screamed Anakin Skywalker in frustration. Now he would have to start all over again.

Thankfully, Anakin Skywalker also had a shovel in case the snow plow broke down or something, so he was able to beat his victim to death and slay him once again.

After finishing his chores like Obi-Wan Kenobi told him to, Anakin Skywalker decided that it was time to head back into the cabin so that he could finally get away from the frozen wasteland known as Hoth. "Did you get rid of the snow?" asked Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Yes, and look what else I did." Anakin Skywalker answered, showing him the frozen carcass of Jar Jar Binks.

"Very good, my apprentice…now resurrect him using the Book of Resurrection…although alternately we could probably have him stuffed and use him for a rug…" suggested Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Let's just keep on killing him." answered Anakin Skywalker as he brought him back from the dead so that he could take him to his icy grave once more.

Afterwards, our heroes decided to drink some delicious hot cocoa so that all the water in the body wouldn't turn to ice. Killing Jar Jar was hard work (unless he was being an idiot like usual), but it was totally worth it.

Unbeknownst to them however, a ferocious predator native to Hoth was on its way to the cabin. Apparently it smelled fresh meat with its sensitive senses and was closing in for the kill…

_Looks like this chapter ends on a cliffhanger…what do you think could be after our heroes? I doubt it could be friendly…but then again you might know already…_

_In the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks will end up becoming a snack once again…_


	58. Wampas

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will be killed by the ferocious predators known as Wampas that we all know are native to Hoth…that's right, he's going to be eaten by an alien Yeti…let's go see what happens shall we?_

**Chapter 58: Wampas**

Jar Jar Binks was having quite a fun time playing out in the snow as usual. Apparently he was somehow immune to the freezing temperatures…otherwise he'd probably already be dead and therefore there wouldn't be much of a chapter.

Little did he know that at the moment a vicious Wampa (who had decided to go off hunting) had spotted him, and thought he would make a great snack when he got hungry later.

"Mesa having time of mesa life!" squealed Jar Jar Binks as he continued playing in the snow.

Suddenly, the Wampa jumped out of the snow and struck the Gungan on the head, knocking him out cold before he even saw the furry ape …

The Wampa then dragged Jar Jar's unconscious body towards his cave, which for some reason was not far from the cabin. Looks like he would be having supper tonight…

_At the cabin where our heroes are making themselves comfortable…_

Our heroes almost immediately noticed that Jar Jar was missing. Where could he have possibly gone? Surely he'd be trying to annoy them by now…

"Say, where is Jar Jar? I haven't seen him for a while." Anakin Skywalker asked.

"I don't know, I was about to suggest that we cut his head off with a chainsaw." answered Padme Amidala.

"We don't have a chainsaw at the moment." pointed out Obi-Wan Kenobi, who unfortunately had left it at home.

"Last time I checked he was playing outside. How he can survive the temperatures is beyond me." explained Qui-Gon Jinn.

"I suggest that we look for him…but of course we could probably wait a little to see if he ends up dying." C-3PO suggested.

R2-D2 beeped with agreement at that plan. Death to the Gungan menace!

_At the Wampa Cave…_

When Jar Jar Binks woke up, he saw that he was in a cave of some kind.

"Where is mesa?" asked the Gungan, who began looking around to see if he could find anything.

He noticed that he was upside-down, and his feet had been frozen to the ceiling, and realized that something was up.

"Let mesa go! Mesa blood is flowing to mesa head! Mesa gonna die soon!" demanded the Gungan to no avail.

He saw the Wampa eating a Tauntaun corpse, and began to get curious. Why did the Wampa take him here?

Suddenly, the carnivore began walking over to him, licking its lips as it did so.

"What do yousa want?" its next meal asked.

Jar Jar's question was answered abruptly when the Wampa started devouring him while he was still alive.

"Nooo! Oh what a galaxy!" screamed the alien as he was eaten for dinner. Jar Jar may have been annoying, but boy did he taste delicious.

Not long afterwards, our heroes came in looking for Jar Jar…and found his remains.

"Looks like he was eaten by something." Anakin Skywalker thought out loud.

"Then what ate him?" inquired Padme Amidala.

Suddenly, our heroes noticed the wampa, which was still eating Jar Jar's carcass. The Wampa noticed our heroes as well, and walked over to them so it could try to eat them as well…

…but Obi-Wan Kenobi pulled out his lightsaber and cut his arm off, causing him to run away crying like a baby.

"What are we going to do with his severed arm?" wondered Qui-Gon Jinn.

After making sure the Wampa was gone (possibly it was off to find a prosthetic of some kind), our heroes removed Jar Jar from the ceiling by thawing the snow with their lightsabers, and then used the Resurrection Book to bring him back from the dead.

As they did so, they wondered what Jar Jar actually tasted like. So many creatures had tried to eat him…did he taste like ice cream or something? Or maybe he tasted like chicken…

"Why is mesa in dis cave?" asked the Wampa victim.

Our heroes decided not to answer that, and brought him back to the cabin so that they could kill him later using another creature native to Hoth and they wouldn't have to worry about becoming ice cubes…

_In the next chapter, Jar Jar will die again…as I said, it will involve another creature native to Hoth…one that's a herbivore, interestingly enough…_

_Can you guess what it is? I'll give you a hint…it can be used as a mount…but then again that's probably too obvious…_


	59. Dismemberment

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, our heroes will give Jar Jar Binks yet another gruesome end…he shall die through tauntauns…in yet another classic execution method…_

**Chapter 59: Dismemberment**

Our heroes had come up with their next method for killing Jar Jar, by separating him from his four limbs. The only problem was…they didn't have horses! What were our heroes going to do? Cut him up with butcher knives?

"Where are we going to get horses? We're out in a frozen wasteland! I highly doubt that anyone would want to set up a stable out here." screamed Anakin Skywalker.

"I guess we'll have to improvise then." answered Padme Amidala, looking around for some other sort of speedy mammal.

Suddenly, they noticed a tauntaun grazing outside…and they got an idea.

Our heroes proceeded to direct the alien horse into a conveniently located herding pen (which for some reason, C-3PO had built yesterday) using some delicious vegetables…and some booze for good measure.

Afterwards, they went to look for others…which wasn't very difficult considering that tauntauns were somewhat social creatures and therefore tended to travel together. Eventually, they were able to get all that they required…albeit with some difficulty considering how fast they were. Why do you think Wampas always ambush their prey?

Now that they had all the tauntauns they needed (four of them to be precise), all that was left to fetch Jar Jar as usual and lure him into the deathtrap. It was something they were all used to by now, and as usual, it was quite simple.

"Snickerdoodles!" yelled Qui-Gon Jinn.

Immediately, Jar Jar Binks dashed into the herding pen at the sound of the Jedi master's voice, hungry for cookies. Thankfully, Obi-Wan Kenobi closed it in time so that the tauntauns couldn't escape…as they would occur in a different part of the plan.

"Where are da snickerdoodles?" asked Jar Jar, looking around curiously. Something was wrong…but as usual he didn't notice until it was too late.

Suddenly, our heroes grabbed him and tied his limbs to each of the four tauntauns using random ropes and chains.

"What are yousa guys up to?" screeched the alien.

Obi-Wan Kenobi then opened the pen and released the tauntauns. R2-D2 let out loud beeping noises as soon as they did so, causing them to all run in different directions.

"Yeowch!" yelled the victim as his limbs began to strain from being stretched in different directions.

Eventually Jar Jar's body couldn't take it anymore and the Gungan was torn apart gruesomely, leaving blood all across the snow and causing him to die from shock and blood loss.

"Mission accomplished." grinned Anakin Skywalker.

Suddenly, our heroes began hearing a noise that sounded suspiciously like a Tauntaun galloping. And it kept getting louder and louder…what was going on?

Curious, our heroes pulled out some binoculars (which Anakin had in his pocket for unexplained reasons)…and discovered that there was a stampede of Tauntauns heading straight towards them. Apparently R2-D2 had agitated them as well.

"Run!" screeched Padme Amidala. But of course she probably didn't need to tell her friends that as they were already doing so…

Unfortunately, Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi were too slow and were therefore trampled to death. Thankfully, our other heroes managed to get away…only to be knocked out with shovels from the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization, who had decided to pay them a visit so that they could brainwash them at their secret arctic base.

As it turns out, they were currently having a reunion party with other similar organizations bent on destroying annoying characters in fiction, and they were ordered to capture Jar Jar Binks so that they could kill him as part of the celebration. They resurrected the Gungan and his two Jedi friends, and then used a space shuttle to drive over to their hideout.

It was going to be quite a party…with lots of fun things to do…including killing Jar Jar Binks and making him pay the uiltimate price for ruining the Star Wars prequel trilogy forever...

_Bet you didn't see this one coming, did you? Oh well, you probably haven't heard of that particular execution method…but it was used in ancient history. Look it up, will ya?_

_In the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks will be killed…along with a bunch of other characters we know and hate…_


	60. Reunion

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization will host a party…and invite a bunch of other organizations that happen to be very good friends of theirs!_

**Chapter 60: Reunion**

"So, who's coming?" asked one of the members of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization.

One of the executives of the organization pulled out a list. As it turns out, there were several different organizations coming.

One of the guests was the Anti-Scrappy Doo Organization, a group dedicated to killing the puppy that wanted nothing more than to destroy a popular kids show cartoon that had been running for years. Another was the Anti-Duck Hunt Dog Organization, a group with the similar goal of killing Scrappy Doo's father, a dog that loved laughing at other people's expense.

Yet another organization attending the party was the Anti-Dani Phantom Organization, a group dedicated to making Dani Phantom give up the ghost. YET another organization was the Anti-Ashley Graham Organization, a group that typically did things to the president's daughter such as feeding her to zombies, although occasionally they would spy on her in the shower as well, curious enough.

Still more organizations were coming to attend the party. The Anti-Spongebob Organization, a group dedicated to sending Spongebob Squarepants from the waters of Bikini Bottom to the fires of Hell, was also on the list. The Anti-Clippy Organization, a group of Microsoft users that loved breaking paperclips, would also be arriving soon.

The last organization that would be arriving was the Anti-Navi Organization, which was a group dedicated to swatting a little insect that had been pestering a certain hero for years. Link himself was the leader of the organization, with Zelda as his second-in-command.

The Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization had decided to decorate their base with pictures of Jar Jar Binks being slaughtered in horrible ways…although they had also made pictures of other annoying characters being maimed as well due to how many different organizations were coming.

As soon as everybody arrived, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization began to party along with a bunch of their colleagues. It was time to boogie!

Near the end of the party, they announced they would be having a very special event…all the organizations would get to kill their designated victims at once…suffice to say this excited them heavily.

"Death to Jar Jar!" screamed the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization.

"Death to Scrappy Doo!" screeched the Anti-Scrappy Doo Organization.

"Death to the Duck Hunt Dog!" yelled the Anti-Duck Hunt Dog Organization.

"Death to Dani Phantom!" bellowed the Anti-Dani Phantom Organization.

"Death to Spongebob Squarepants!" shouted the Anti-Spongebob Organization.

"Death to Clippy!" shrieked the Anti-Clippy Organization.

"Death to Navi!" hollered the Anti-Navi Organization.

_Meanwhile, in the Anti-Jar Jar Binks holding cell…_

"I've got a strange feeling of dread." Dani Phantom told her cellmates. Apparently she somehow heard the commotion outside.

"Why are wesa all in da same place?" wondered Jar Jar Binks. He noticed that despite how different they all were, they all appeared to have one particular thing in common with him…but he couldn't put his feeble mind to it.

"I'll break you all out of here! Just watch!" Scrappy Doo exclaimed, trying to bust the jail door down with his fists…to no avail.

The Duck Hunt Dog laughed at his son's expense. Apparently he found failure hysterical.

"Let me out of here! I'm going to dehydrate soon!" demanded Spongebob Squarepants. Apparently he couldn't survive long without water.

"LEON! HELP!" screamed Ashley Graham. Of course, it was futile, as Leon was nowhere nearby.

"You seem to be trying to break out of jail. Need help?" asked Clippy.

"To get out of jail, you'll need a key of some kind!" Navi explained.

Suddenly, they heard the sound of the jail door being opened…initially, they all thought they were saved…until a barrel filled with TNT was rolled into the room.

"What the f-" yelled the group of seven, right before they were all blown to bits.

After this event, all seven organizations went their separate ways, with the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization coming up with more schemes to kill a certain Gungan.

"For now, let's get him back to his folks, shall we?" suggested the leader of the organization.

And so the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization did so, bringing him back so that our heroes would continue to have the pleasure of killing him next.

_I hope you enjoyed this crazy crossover…suffice to say all seven of them had it coming…_

_In the next chapter…well I'm not sure what I'll do in the next chapter…maybe I'll make him take a shotgun to the face or something? Or perhaps I'll come up with something more creative…_

_Either way, expect more bloodshed in the future…to be honest with you I'm surprised I'm already over halfway done with this story…it's just my lucky day._


	61. Chainsaw

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die yet another horrible death…and it's going to be one that you're going to enjoy…at least I hope so anyway…_

_So have fun watching Jar Jar Binks die another gruesome death…_

**Chapter 61: Chainsaw**

Our heroes decided to go to Texas for their next trip after being released by the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization following their massive reunion party…little did they know that Jar Jar and some other members of their group would not be making it out alive…as usual, their vacation would end in disaster.

On the way there, they encountered a hitchhiker, who interestingly enough attacked the Gungan with a razor. Unfortunately, this did not kill him, and he also injured himself in the process. Although Anakin Skywalker and his friends considered letting him into their group dedicated to slay the alien because of this incident, they were ultimately forced to kick him out of their space shuttle after he began attacking them as well.

"What a crazy maniac." stated Anakin Skywalker.

"I wonder why he attacked us?" questioned Padme Amidala.

Afterwards, they decided to visit the local swimming hole, but they instead found a house. Examining it curiously, our heroes became horrified when they realized it was made out of human bones. They tried to run away from the house, but they were immediately spotted by Leatherface.

"That man's wearing human flesh! Run for it!" screamed Obi-Wan Kenobi. Of course, by then he didn't have to tell them to do so.

Leatherface attacked the group with a chainsaw…thankfully, he was clumsy with it and didn't injure anyone…with the exception of Jar Jar Binks.

"Hello dere man with da chainsaw! How are yousa doing today?" Jar Jar Binks asked, right before Leatherface cut off his head with his chainsaw. The cannibal must have enjoyed killing him, because he laughed like a maniac shortly afterwards. It was the best kill of his life…which was really saying something considering he was a mass murderer.

Anakin Skywalker, C-3PO, and R2-D2 managed to escape from the psychopath (C-3PO and R2-D2 did not have flesh, so they were safe from the cannibal family), but Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn weren't nearly as lucky. Not paying attention to where they were going due to the panic of the situation, they were caught by bear traps when they snapped across their legs.

"My leg!" screamed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"That was my good leg!" screeched Qui-Gon Jinn.

They were caught by Leatherface's family and eaten shortly afterwards. As for Padme Amidala, she ended up being captured and dragged back into the house. After being hit on the head with a shovel, she was tied to a chair, gagged with a filthy sock inside her mouth, and was forced to attend dinner with the cannibals, watching them devour the flesh of her fallen comrades and witness the horror of Leatherface wearing a woman's dress, which suffice to say nearly drove her insane.

Unfortunately for them, she managed to escape and call the authorities, who proceeded to fire a bunch of lead into them, killing every last one of them…except for Leatherface and his brother Chop Top (AKA the hitchhiker they encountered earlier), who for some reason were bulletproof...suffice to say the two of them managed to slay the authorities instead. Lousy occupational hazards…

Padme Amidala grabbed what little remained of Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi and placed them back into the shuttle along with Jar Jar Binks's decapitated body. Anakin Skywalker, R2-D2, and C-3PO were also in the shuttle, and together they managed to escape from the vicious cannibals, causing Leatherface to swing his chainsaw in a rage. He hated it whenever one of his victims escaped…after all, it damaged his reputation as one of the most popular horror icons of all time. Then again, he'll never be as popular as Jason Voorhees…

Afterwards, they resurrected Jar Jar Binks, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Obi-Wan Kenobi so that they could bring them back from the dead in the near future…but you should know that already considering how many times that had happened previously.

"Let's never go to Texas again." Obi-Wan Kenobi suggested.

"I want to stay as far away from that cannibal family as possible." agreed Qui-Gon Jinn.

"How many times have you guys died anyway? It's starting to get repetitive." questioned Anakin Skywalker.

"Hey yousa guys! Look what mesa got!" Jar Jar Binks squealed, holding out the new doll he purchased from a toy store.

Padme Amidala looked at the doll…something seemed wrong with it, but she couldn't tell what.

_I bet you can probably tell what's going to be the next killing method…at least you should be able to do so if you've watched a lot of horror movies…_

_Can you guess who's going to die this time?_


	62. Killer Doll

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will be killed by yet another horror icon…which one do you ask? Well, if you've read the last chapter, you'll probably know which one I'm going to use already. But if not, the title of this chapter should be enough for you to figure it out…_

_Now then, let's watch our least favorite Gungan get slaughtered horribly, shall we?_

**Chapter 62: Killer Doll**

The more our heroes looked at the doll Jar Jar Binks had found, the more they thought it looked disturbing. It seemed like it was somehow alive…and yet somehow their Gungan archenemy seemed completely unaware of this…he was just as cheerful and carefree as ever.

"Good grief, he is stupid." pointed out Padme Amidala.

To make things even scarier, Anakin Skywalker had read recently about a dark ritual that could be used to transfer one's soul into a doll…could this be the case with this one? He wasn't exactly sure, but as said previously, he thought it was probably alive somehow and that it was out to get them…

"What exactly are we dealing with here?" he thought.

He was starting to feel very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very frightened…and warned the others that they might be dealing with an evil psychopath that wanted nothing more than to kill every last one of them.

Still, our heroes decided not to do anything about the killer doll whatever (at least until another day)…which proved to be a rather fatal mistake judging from the disasters that later happened that night…

_At the stroke of midnight…_

The killer doll chuckled. Those idiots had not suspected a thing! Well, maybe they did…but they haven't done anything about him, so all was well and he was free to do whatever he wished, which included killing everyone in the household in an extremely gruesome manner using his best friend, a sharp knife that he found in the kitchen.

"Say hello to my little friend!" he screamed.

He started by killing Jar Jar Binks, slitting his throat in the night and leaving a ton of Gungan blood on his bed, shortly afterwards, laughed like a maniac while he cut apart his vital organs and spreading them across the floor (someone would have to mop later, it was going to leave a stain), much to his delight. He then wondered who he should kill next.

He next decided to kill the only female in the galaxy (at least until Leia Organa was born, anyway), also known as Padme Amidala…by pushing her out the window while she was getting a midnight snack. Despite the fact that she only fell one story, she died instantly. Once again, he laughed just like the Joker.

"Tell Anakin Skywalker that I love him…and that I hate Jar Jar Binks! Of course you probably killed him already…" screamed the only female character in the prequel trilogy.

Unfortunately, this sight was witnessed by Obi-Wan Kenobi due to the fact that he heard her screaming…so he threw a knife at his face, which killed him rapidly because for some reason it was covered in a deadly poison. How exciting it was to get to kill another person. He loved killing people so much; he was a serial killer even before he became a killer doll. Basically, there was something horribly wrong with him…but who cares?

He remembered the day when he transferred his soul inside a doll after being fatally wounded by the police (darn police, always trying to track him down because he wouldn't stop killing people)…the only downside was that now he was a lot smaller and that he would have a harder time murdering victims than usual…but he didn't let that stop him, oh no. After all, he was awfully good at jumping on top of people…he never understood why.

Unfortunately, Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn, C-3PO, and R2-D2 all heard the sounds of horrible bloodshed and whatnot…and they ganged up on him as soon as they realized he was alive and an evil psychopath. He tried to slice C-3PO, but due to the fact he was made of metal it wasn't particularly effective.

"Your knifes won't be able to cut through me, sorry." apologized C-3PO.

"Why do you need to apologize to a killer doll that murdered about half of our friends?" Anakin Skywalker pointed out.

R2-D2 beeped that was rather unnecessary.

They decided to toss him inside a nearby dumpster which for some reason was right on their lawn, where he died a slow, horrible death from suffocation due to the fact that Obi-Wan Kenobi had just tossed in a bunch of rotten eggs, Jar Jar Binks poo poo, and all kinds of other foul-smelling things…why did it have to be trash day?

"Goodbye and good riddance!" bellowed Qui-Gon Jinn. "That's for killing my apprentice, you jerkface!"

The nightmare was finally over…or at least until a sequel came out…but until then, our heroes were safe from whatever horrible threat would come after them next…aside from the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization, who always seemed to gain the upper hand…

They resurrected Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padme Amidala, and Jar Jar Binks using the Book of Resurrection in case another killer doll somehow showed up…which wouldn't be very surprising considering all the wacky shenanigans our heroes always seemed to end up in.

"How many times is this going to happen to us? It's starting to get old." wondered Obi-Wan Kenobi.

As a matter of fact, our heroes were next planning to go to the beach…unaware of the fact that there was currently a killer shark terrorizing its waters that wanted nothing more than to eat everything in sight. Interestingly enough, it had its accompanying theme tune…

_You should probably guess the next horror movie I'm going to spoof…any guesses anyone? I've already gotten a lot of reviews for this story…so I figured I might as well let you guys guess…_


	63. Shark

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die just like he has done so many times…nonetheless I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy watching him die yet another gruesome death…so let's watch him drop dead, shall we?_

**Chapter 63: Shark**

For their next of their many vacations, our heroes decided to go to the beach to have some summer fun. Much to Anakin's delight, Padme Amidala had chosen to wear a strapless bikini…basically it was his lucky day. Of course, it was her lucky day as well, because she got to see him shirtless.

Well, maybe lucky day was stretching the truth a little…as it turns out, the beach they were heading to was populated by an incredibly vicious shark that loved nothing more than eating everything in sight. Why was it always so hungry you ask? Because for some reason, it was the only fish in the entire ocean where it came from...meaning that it only ever got to eat in the summer when there were swimmers…suffice to say, our heroes would end up becoming its next victims.

Our heroes remained blissfully unaware of this fact as usual…including Jar Jar Binks, who was swimming in the water despite the signs clearly saying things such as "Beware Of Shark", "Stay Out Of The Water", "There's A Deadly Shark On The Loose", "Turn Back Now", "Danger", "Swim Here And You'll Never Swim Again", and "Heck, Stay Away From This Beach Altogether!"

"Mesa love swimming!" squealed the Gungan, happily splashing in the water unaware of his upcoming doom.

Suddenly, he heard some rather scary music playing…and he immediately began wondering where it was coming from. Who the heck would want to play music while they were at the beach? It seemed rather suspicious.

It was then that the deadly shark struck, biting Jar Jar in the leg and pulling him underwater.

"Let mesa go, yousa vicious shark!" demanded the alien. But unfortunately, it was unable to understand Gungan, and it dragged him underwater anyway, where he rapidly bled to death before the shark consumed him for breakfast.

Unfortunately, it was still hungry, and advanced towards Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, Anakin Skywalker, and Padme Amidala.

"Hey look, that shark is trying to eat us." pointed out Anakin Skywalker, noticing its fin.

"Good thing we're out of the water…" stated Padme Amidala.

Unfortunately the shark was so hungry, it somehow managed to get out of the water and swim through the sand, devouring the surprised Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn whole.

"What the deuce?" screamed the Jedi Masters as they were eaten alive.

Thankfully, it wasn't interested in C-3PO and R2-D2, since they weren't exactly made out of meat…instead it turned toward Padme Amidala…and began trying to rip her bikini off, because for some reason it was rather perverted.

"Let go!" screamed Padme Amidala, trying to protect her modesty.

Anakin Skywalker fired a harpoon at the shark, causing it to retreat into the ocean…but not before our heroine had her bikini ripped off, giving him a nosebleed and causing her to scream loud enough to shatter glass.

After killing C-3PO by tossing him in the water in order to electrocute the shark finally kill the beast for good, our heroes resurrected Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Jar Jar Binks, the latter of which required them to rent scuba gear so that they could locate his corpse.

Oh, and they also resurrected the robot as well...even though he technically wasn't alive to begin with...

Suffice to say, our heroes would never want to go to the beach again…not for a long while.

_And so Jar Jar Binks is killed once more…in the next chapter, he shall die by being sniped in the head! How does that sound?_

_Let me know if you want any more horror references…_


	64. Headshot

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die in yet another horrific way…which interestingly enough seems to have become a meme as of late…can you guess what it is?_

_You should probably put two and two together considering the hint I gave you earlier…have you still guessed yet?_

_Well, I suppose you could just read the chapter title…so why am I even asking you this?_

_I guess I'm just being silly…now then, let's just watch Jar Jar Binks die already, we're over halfway through the story and I don't want to stop now…_

**Chapter 64: Headshot**

Thanks to a sniper rifle he had rented from the store down the street, Anakin Skywalker was ready to kill Jar Jar Binks once again. Of course, considering how many times he had already slain the little demon, he was rather surprised that the gun shop owner was willing to give him a gun in the first place. But he decided not to question something that he liked, and decided that he should hurry up and kill Jar Jar before anyone spots him trying to murder his arch-enemy.

As it turns out, he was busy dancing to a song he enjoyed by Rick Athley. It was called Never Gonna Give You Up, which interestingly enough most people found annoying.

Taking advantage of the situation, Anakin Skywalker readied his sniper rifle…aiming its precursor at his head. "Hasta la vista, Jar Jar." he thought.

"Weesa r no strangers to love, yousa know da rules and so do mesa, a full commitment's what mesa am thinkin of, yousa wouldn't get dis from any other guy, mesa just wanna tell yousa howa mesa feeling, gotta make yousa understand…" sung Jar Jar Binks.

Unfortunately, the song he was singing was rather distracting, and the jedi was having difficulty focusing. He continued trying to snipe him…

"Hey Anakin Skywalker, how are you doing?" asked Padme Amidala.

Our hero jumped up in surprise. "I'm trying to snipe Jar Jar Binks in the head…try not to interrupt me, will you?"

"Fine…" agreed his girlfriend.

Once more, Anakin Skywalker continued trying to snipe Jar Jar, who was still singing his favorite song. Curiously enough, he recalled that they had once executed him using that particular song…was he getting more resilient or something? If so, they might have a harder time killing him in the future.

"Never ganna give yousa up, never ganna let yousa down, never ganna run around and desert yousa, never ganna make yousa cry, never ganna sayin goodbye, never ganna tell a lie and hurt yousa." continued Jar Jar Binks.

Yet again, he was interrupted.

"Shouldn't you be training, my apprentice?" asked Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Anakin Skywalker placed his hand on his face in frustration. _Not again…_ he thought.

ONCE more, he continued trying to slay Jar Jar Binks, when suddenly C-3PO and R2-D2 came into the room.

"Why do I always get interrupted?" thought Anakin Skywalker.

He began to wonder if he would ever be able to slay Jar Jar Binks that particular day…but he refused to give up, even when he was once again interrupted by Qui-Gon Jinn…as that meant there was no longer anyone left to interrupt him…well aside from Jar Jar Binks, who simply wouldn't stop singing his favorite song.

"Wesa haveve known each other for so long yousa heart's been achin, but yousa are too shy to say it inside, wesa both know what's been goin on weesa know da game, and weesa re ganna playin it and yousa ask mesa howa missa am feeling don't tella mesa yousa are too blind to see…"

"I know how I feel about Jar Jar Binks." thought Anakin Skywalker. And then he struck.

"Ouchies! Mesa arm! Who shot mesa?" wondered the Gungan.

The jedi cursed underneath his breath. He had missed his head because he had moved out of the way.

He tried again, and this time shot him in the chest. "So close…" he thought.

"Ouchies! Mesa chest! Mesa need to visit da hospital!" exclaimed Jar Jar, who began crawling towards the nearest hospital, which was 50 miles away.

Finally, Anakin Skywalker succeeded in his mission, shooting the alien in the head and killing him instantly.

"That took too long." thought our main protagonist. At least the Gungan was no more and that the universe was finally at peace…at least until his next resurrection, which he did as usual using the Book of Resurrection. He began to wonder if he should simply leave him dead and bury him in a cemetery…

Suddenly, one of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization members came up to him and injected a familiar syringe in his arm, which caused his bloodlust to continue to run rampant through his mind.

"Ow! My arm!" he screamed. He always hating getting shots.

Shortly afterwards, our hero went to the store to look for something else they could use to kill Jar Jar Binks…there were still so many more opportunities…

On the way there, he noticed something in the newspaper…apparently, Chuck Norris was coming to visit…and he suddenly got an idea.

_That's right, in the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks will be executed by Chuck Norris…naturally, given how dumb he is, the Gungan will probably try to mess with him…and that will be the last mistake he will ever make…_

_So, how did you feel about this chapter? How did you feel about Jar Jar Binks singing? How did you feel about Anakin Skywalker sniping him? How did you feel about the constant interruptions? How did you feel about my constant questions?_

_Anyways…today is my birthday…so feel free to say happy birthday…_


	65. Chuck Norris

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Hey everyone, I've been on vacation…so if you're curious why I haven't updated in a while…well, now you know…._

_In this chapter, the Gungan will battle Chuck Norris and will die horribly…in fact, so will our main protagonists…of course, you were probably expecting that given what I told you the last chapter…tremble before the ferocious monster and bring some popcorn if you're hungry._

**Chapter 65: Chuck Norris**

Jar Jar Binks was excited to see Chuck Norris. As it turns out, he had challenged him to a duel on his buddies' suggestion. His friends had persuaded him that he would be fun to fight and that he would defeat him easily. Unfortunately for him, the opposite would ultimately turn out to be true.

"Bring it on, Mr. Chuck Norris!" he squealed, lunging at him swinging his fists. Immediately, the cowboy got ready to battle, cracking his tremendous knuckles. It was time to rumble!

Suffice to say; the fight between him and Chuck Norris was rather short lived…as soon as the referee finished counting down from 10, the beast of a man jumped high into the air (so high in fact, that he reached outer space…but he survived due to the fact that he could breathe in space), crashing down and punching his latest victim so hard that his fist tore right through his stomach, causing his intestines to fall all over the floor. Somebody would have to clean the mess they made later.

"Mesa have bad stomachache." complained Jar Jar Binks. And shortly afterwards, he died. Shortly afterwards, the referee counted down 10 from 1. When he didn't get up (due to being a lifeless corpse that was already decomposing), Chuck Norris was declared the winner. The Gungan was no match for the epicness of the juggernaut…and neither was the entire world…in fact; it exploded into a million pieces simply because he was there….in fact, it was completely vaporized, leaving nothing but dust…

In fact, the entire galaxy was vaporized by the ridiculous power level of Chuck Norris…nobody would be able to count the amount of victims now…because everyone was dead and therefore couldn't exactly count, now could they?

In fact, the entire universe was vaporized and everybody in the universe was vaporized as well…nobody in the universe was alive save for Chuck Norris himself…his very presence was enough to annihilate the universe…

In fact, the entire multiverse was vaporized ….there was absolutely no life, there was only death, with the exception of Chuck Norris, the only being powerful enough to cause such an explosion in this story aside from the author himself…

Unfortunately for him, the author would not allow him to continue killing people in this fanfic because it was getting messy and he was tired of the needless bloodshed and destruction…immediately, he began typing a way to stop Chuck Norris…in fact, he trapped Chuck Norris into a tremendous prison made from the fourth wall, where not even he would be able to free himself (or could he? There seems to be a crack in it…) and used his mighty author powers to bring everybody who was vaporized in the multiversal explosion (including my fans and our main protagonists, since without them I can't exactly continue my story) back to life, including Jar Jar Binks himself, since he is the eponymous character of this story and I want him to die forty-six more times before I call it quits.

"What happened?" wondered Qui-Gon Jinn. "Last thing I remember was Jar Jar Binks getting killed by Chuck Norris…and then the entire planet exploding."

"He should have known better than to mess with Chuck Norris. Not even the entire galactic army could stop him! The entire intergalactic army, I say! Nor could Godzilla…or Cthulhu…or Freddy Krueger…or Jason Voorhees…basically there's nobody that can stop him…aside from the author of this story himself." noted Anakin Skywalker.

"Not even Emperor Palpatine would mess with Chuck Norris, and he's pure evil with no conscience or mercy." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi. "I wonder why that Gungan ever decided to pick a fight with him?"

"Like I said, he has no brain…in fact, I wonder why he didn't die already sooner…" answered Padme Amidala.

"He already died before! In fact, this is the 65th time he has died! I can't even remember how I killed him the first time…" replied Anakin Skywalker.

"I suggest we get out of here before Chuck Norris kills us all. I somehow get the feeling that he might return and cause us all to become vaporized and therefore die horrible deaths." warned C-3PO.

Oil leaked out of R2-D2. Apparently he was scared out of his mind. He didn't want to die! He just wanted Jar Jar to die! Is that too much to ask for?

Our heroes hopped onboard their space shuttle, and escaped into the galaxy. Of course, Chuck Norris would probably be destroying planets in the near future by charging energy balls of doom that would dig their way into their cores, so even so they weren't safe from his terrible wrath.

But for the moment, they were safe, and they were ready to kill Jar Jar Binks on another day, which naturally would be in the near future.

_And so Jar Jar Binks dies a horrible death to his own stupidity…really, who would want to tangle with Chuck Norris? I know I certainly wouldn't…also, the entire multiverse exploded and I had to save all of your butts! You can thank me in the reviews…_

_In the next chapter, our worst enemy Jar Jar will sell his soul…who you may ask? To none other than…._

_THE DEVIL!_

_DUN DUN DUN!_


	66. The Devil

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will make the deadly mistake of selling his soul to the devil…why will he sell his soul to the devil, you ask? You'll find out shortly enough…_

_I'll give you a hint though…it's something rather petty, and something that I wouldn't sell my soul for…not like I would sell my soul to the devil in the first place since that would pretty much guarantee that I would end up in Hell and end up being tortured by demons for all eternity…_

_Anyways, let's watch Jar Jar Binks make his lethal mistake and usual and die a horrible death, shall we…_

**Chapter 66: The Devil**

Jar Jar Binks was rather hungry…but he didn't want just any snack. He wanted to snack on some cookies…why you ask? Because Jar Jar simply loved having cookies as a snack, and would not have anything else at that particular moment, not even brownies or fudge. The more he thought about the cookies, the more he became hungry, and the more he wanted to have them.

Finally, he said something that would seal his fate that particular day.

"Mesa woulda sell mesa soul for cookies…" stated Jar Jar Binks.

Suddenly, a puff of red smoke appeared, and the whole room turned dark. Immediately, he wondered what was going on. Was there a power outage? Was there a gas leak? He wasn't exactly sure.

"You mentioned something about selling your soul for cookies, did you not?" asked Emperor Palpatine.

"Emperor Palpatine? Yousa da devil? Who knew?" the Gungan asked in surprise.

"Be honest Jar Jar Binks, who else did you think it could be? I know you're an idiot, but seriously! Granted, usually it's the one that you least expect…but in this case it's pretty obvious. I mean, who else could it be? I've been ruining the galaxy for practically my entire life! Anyways…I, Emperor Palpatine, am the devil, and I'm going to give you an offer that you can't refuse." the emperor explained.

"And yet somehow, you still manage to be even more evil than I am…" he murmured under his breath.

"Whata kind of offer? Mesa love offers!" asked Jar Jar.

Emperor Palpatine handed the Gungan some cookies…which curiously enough were designed to resemble the devil's face.

"Now then, as soon as you finish all the cookies, your soul will belong to me." continued Palpatine.

"Wait, if mesa doesn't finish all da cookies…then yousa won't get mesa soul!" pointed out the obnoxious Gungan.

"Well, technically I won't, but-"

"Mesa smarter than da devil! Mesa smarter than da devil!" sang Jar Jar Binks.

Emperor Palpatine transformed into his true form, which was an enormous demon with huge abs for some particular reason. Was the devil taking steroids?

"You are not smarter than me, Jar Jar! In fact, you're the dumbest alien in the entire galaxy! I'll see you in Hell yet!" he screamed.

He then transformed back into his regular form.

"Have a nice day." he said. And once again, he disappeared in a puff of red smoke.

Jar Jar Binks ate all of the cookies except for one, which he stuffed in the fridge rather than toss in the trash or the garbage disposal like he should have done...which would have therefore saved us from the rest of the events of this chapter…but like I said, he didn't, and therefore he sealed his fate.

"Where'd he got those cookies?" wondered Anakin Skywalker.

"I didn't go to the store. Don't ask me." replied Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"I've receiving demonic energies coming from those cookies…" C-3PO stated.

R2-D2 beeped in fear.

"I wonder what will happen if he eats the last one…" wondered Padme Amidala.

"We're probably better off not knowing…just don't eat any of them, will you? They give me bad vibes." answered Qui-Gon Jinn.

_Later that night…_

Once again, Jar Jar Binks craved cookies. This time, he was sleepwalking, and therefore wasn't paying attention to what he was doing. Immediately, he went over to the fridge, and started eating the demonic cookie, ignoring the fact that doing so would end up sending him to the horrible place known simply as Hell.

"Thata was such a good cookie! It was delicious!" squealed Jar Jar Binks.

Suddenly, Emperor Palpatine reappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Was it now?" asked the devil of the Star Wars universe.

"Oh doodoo!" his latest victim screamed.

Immediately, Emperor Palpatine pulled out his trident and made a portal to Hell appear, which started pulling the Gungan inside.

"Mesa too young to die! Mesa havea so mucha to live for!" screeched Jar Jar Binks, not wanting to die for the millionth time. Frantically, he tried to pull onto something…but it wasn't very effective, since the current sucking him in was so demonically strong.

"Your soul is mine, Jar Jar Binks!" laughed the demon lord. "Soon you'll be rotting in Hell for all eternity!"

"At least mesa will be witha rest of mesa family…" he murmured.

Suddenly, our arch-enemy's "friends" came into the room and saw what Emperor Palpatine was doing, and frantically told him to stop.

"You can't send him to Hell! If you do that, we won't be able to murder him anymore!" screamed Anakin Skywalker.

"How is the author going to continue this story if you send Jar Jar Binks to the darkest depths of Hell? We've still got 35 deaths to go!" screeched Padme Amidala.

"Please! Let him go so that we can kill him again!" yelled Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Ah yes. I've heard that you've been killing Jar Jar Binks for quite some time…due to the fact that I find it amusing…I'm going to cut you a deal...if you let me have his soul for the day…I'll return him tomorrow and allow you to kill him again. Sound evil?" he stated.

"Just make sure to torture him horribly. He needs to suffer for everything he has made us endure." suggested Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Believe me, I will." answered Emperor Palpatine.

Not long after he said that, Jar Jar Binks' fingers slipped and he was immediately sucked inside the dark portal and sent falling into the darkest depths of Hell.

"Mesa falling again! Why can't mesa fly? Stupid gravity!" bellowed Jar Jar Binks.

Immediately, he hit the ground with a hard thud…which would have killed him if it weren't for the obvious fact that he was already dead.

"Where da hell is Jar Jar?" wondered the Gungan.

"You just answered your own question." answered the demons.

Almost immediately, they began torturing the Gungan menace horribly, such as using his head as a dodgeball and his intestines as jump rope, placing him inside an iron maiden, setting him on fire, tying him up like a piñata and beating him with baseball bats, forcing him to play Superman 64 and E.T. Atari, forcing him to listen to Rebecca Black's Friday and Justin Bieber's, and tying him to a chair and tickling his feet.

"Stop it! Thata tickles!" he screamed.

The torture went on and on, and Jar Jar Binks was slowly going insane. It was never going to end. Never never never!

Luckily for Jar Jar, Emperor Palpatine agreed to let him go after the 24 hours were up…and he was returned alive and whole back to his "friends and family".

"Just make sure to keep on killing him…otherwise I might send you to Hell." noted Emperor Palpatine.

Our heroes immediately gulped as soon as he said so.

"You got it boss…" stated Anakin Skywalker nervously.

Once again, our heroes continued their daily routine of hatred against the little jerk known as Jar Jar Binks.

_The moral of the story is: NEVER sell your soul to the devil! You won't even live to regret it…since you know, you'll be dead and therefore in the darkest depths of Hell where you will experience extreme agony and whatnot…_

_So no matter how much you're tempted, never sell your soul to the devil…you've only got one and therefore you need to use it wisely._

_Now then, how shall I kill him next?_


	67. Grand Piano

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter…let's see, what killing method haven't I used yet? Let me think…wait, I think I know what I'm going to do to Jar Jar Binks this time…it's literally going to be music to my ears!_

_In this chapter, Jar Jar will die by being crushed underneath a piano…sound good? Granted, it does seem kind of cliché…but you can't please everyone when you're surrounded by fan fiction critics…now can you?_

**Chapter 67: Grand Piano**

Once more, Jar Jar Binks had been lured into a deadly trap. This time, he was ordered to stand underneath a red X.

"Where is da surprise?" asked Jar Jar. His friends had mysteriously walked away. Where were they going? Were they going to get ice cream? If so, he wanted some too, even if it was always giving him brain freeze.

Maybe they were off to get some video games. After all, he certainly loved to play video games. Anakin Skywalker also happened to love playing video games …but curiously they had become rather violent lately. Were they using the video games for something?

Padme Amidala also loved to play video games…apparently she wasn't as girly as people thought she was. But like Anakin she always seemed to have her hand on her chin whenever she played…apparently she was thinking about something.

Maybe they were off to get some lunch. Come to think of it, he was starting to get hungry. Why hadn't they brought him with them? He could eat virtually anything...in fact, he wondered if he would chew off his own leg if he ever got particularly hungry.

Maybe they had gone off to the store to get some groceries. However, the grocery wasn't far from the house….what was taking them so long?

Curious, he decided to look up, and noticed that there was a grand piano hanging from a narrow piece of rope several feet above his head. Suddenly, he realized what his friends were up to.

"Oh boy! Mesa friends are gonna give mesa piano lessons!" squealed Jar Jar Binks.

Well, not quite.

Soon enough, Anakin Skywalker and his friends came back with some scissors and began springing the trap. Unfortunate, the scissors turned out to be safety ones, which made it difficult to cut the rope and therefore made it difficult to kill Jar Jar Binks.

"Whose bright idea was it to buy safety scissors?" asked the Jedi apprentice.

"You should know that scissors can be quite dangerous." C-3PO asked.

"So it was you!" answered Anakin Skywalker.

R2-D2 beeped with fear. He got a feeling what was going to happen next.

Angered, Padme Amidala decided to push C-3PO onto the red X with Jar Jar Binks, just as Anakin finally finished cutting, causing both of them to be crushed to death.

R2-D2 beeped sadly. Boo hoo.

"Take that, C-3PO and Jar Jar Binks!" bellowed Anakin.

"I see that you killed the Gungan…but why did you also kill C-3PO?" asked Obi-Wan Kenobi, who had just now come in the room.

"He was starting to get as annoying as Jar Jar. That's what I call a C Flat…" answered Padme.

"I suppose you've got a pretty good point…" Qui-Gon Jinn stated.

As it turns out, an Anti-C3PO Society had been formed recently by angry Star Wars fans, and they had asked the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization if they could brainwash them so that they would gruesomely murder C-3PO every once in a while as well.

Interestingly enough, most of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization agreed, as they were good friends with the Anti-C3PO Organization (they were both Star Wars fans that hated a particular character in the franchise) and would like to do them a favor.

Afterwards, our heroes somehow lifted the grand piano off of C-3PO and Jar Jar Binks (the occasional steroid injection was helpful, even if it made them bloodthirsty maniacs), and used the Book of Resurrection to bring them back from the fiery depths of Hell, which interestingly enough the latter had visited in the last chapter.

Unfortunately, Jar Jar Binks once again noticed the piano (it was covered with his blood and robot remains, but he decided to ignore that) and asked if he could have piano lessons…reluctantly, our heroes decided to agree to his demands simply to stop him from whining and therefore annoy them even more than usual.

"Yay! Mesa so happy!" he squealed, clapping his hands together.

Unfortunately, Jar Jar was a horrible pianist, and before long he was playing so loudly that he was making our heroes' ears bleed.

"Make it stop!" screamed Anakin Skywalker.

"We must do something, my apprentice!" yelled Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"What's that? I can't hear you! I think I'm going deaf!" answered Anakin Skywalker.

Obi-Wan Kenobi groaned.

"You know what they say…you can tune a piano…but you can't tune a fish." stated Padme Amidala.

"Padme, you're a genius…you just gave us our next killing suggestion." replied Qui-Gon Jinn.

"I'm a genius?" asked Padme.

"Well, you have an IQ of 150, so yes. Anyways, let's take Jar Jar to the latest aquarium, shall we?" asked Anakin Skywalker.

"Yay! Mesa love da aquarium! Just like mesa love water! Can wesa go swimming latta?" squealed Jar Jar Binks.

_Can you guess how our heroes are going to kill Jar Jar this time? I'll give you a hint…it's not going to be sharks…why you ask? Because I already included a shark in the last chapter…in case you've been reading this story from start to finish…_

_I'll give you a hint though…they say these particular fish are great at creating instant skeletons…although interestingly enough in reality they're mainly nuisances…just like the urban legends surrounding sharks tend to be untrue and that they in fact rarely attack people…and that most of them are generally quite small…in fact, one of them is similar to a whale…which interestingly enough never seems to be in horror movies…_

_Anyways, I'll see you in the next chapter…which hopefully will be coming soon…_


	68. Twisted Game

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Once again, I've been taking suggestions from you guys…in this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will be slain by a Jigsaw game…why will he play a game with him you ask? The answer is simple._

_It looks like Jar Jar Binks will make the choice to live or die…naturally he'll choose the latter because he's so dumb…_

**Chapter 68: Twisted Game**

When Jar Jar Binks woke up, he could tell that he wasn't at home. What was going on? The last thing he remembered was being attacked by a girl wearing a pig mask…who the heck wears a pig mask anyway? They weren't exactly festive.

Anyways, he had no idea where he was. It appeared that it was somewhere remote, he knew that at least. Then again, he never knew much because he was such an idiot.

"Where is mesa? Mesa think mesa been abducted! Is anyone dere?" wondered Jar Jar Binks.

He then noticed a TV monitor, and began thinking that perhaps his kidnapper wanted him to watch TV. He wondered if he was on the news, since he believed that he had probably been abducted...maybe he was abducted by aliens? Then again, he was an alien himself…although he didn't think himself as one since he was a Gungan after all.

Soon enough, a scary-looking puppet that looked like some sort of monster clown appeared onscreen. What was he doing on TV? He wasn't exactly a celebrity or a TV show host…and where the heck was the ventriloquist?

"Hello Jar Jar Binks." greeted the evil puppet. Apparently it could talk!

"What do yousa want?" asked the Gungan, curious as always.

"I want to play a game." answered the evil puppet.

"What kinda game?" asked Jar Jar.

"In 15 minutes a mortal gas will seep into the room...which in case it is not obvious will kill you in seconds." explained the puppet that loosely resembled the Joker.

"Oh no! Mesa no like toxic gas! Mesa let one out when mesa ate bad burrito! Mesa nearly killed all of mesa friends! At least mesa didn't haveta fumigate mesa house…" exclaimed Jar Jar Binks.

"If you want to survive, you must solve a simple math problem on the chalkboard over there." stated the evil puppet.

Suddenly, Jar Jar noticed the math problem written on a chalkboard…it was 1+1. What could the answer possibly be?

"In the past, you have annoyed innocent people with your incredible stupidity. Your entire life has been thriving off annoying others. In order to escape, you must do something smart." explained the evil puppet.

"Dis is gonna be difficult." complained the Gungan.

"Live or die! Make your choice!" exclaimed the evil puppet.

It took Jar Jar 14 minutes (leaving him just one minute to spare), but he finally managed to figure out the simple math problem after straining his mind as far as it could.

"Wow! Mesa feels like genius now! Thank yousa evil puppet!" squealed the slightly-more-intelligent Gungan as he left the facility.

Unfortunately, the evil puppet (evil ventriloquist to be precise, he just used the puppet for recordings) had an assistant that did not approve of the victim escaping…as soon as Jar Jar escaped from the abandoned facility, she immediately opened fire on the annoying Gungan, killing him almost instantly.

"What's the point of giving the victims a way out?" wondered the assistant.

Suffice to say, Jigsaw would not be happy about what had occurred after the alien had escaped from the deathtrap…then again, maybe he would considering how the Gungan was so painfully annoying.

Before long however, our heroes began wondering where Jar Jar was. Once again, he had mysteriously disappeared. It was as if he was impersonating the Great Houdini.

"Where is Jar Jar? We're supposed to kill him today! I already bought a minigun!" yelled out Anakin Skywalker.

"He's not in his bed, where he usually is." informed Padme Amidala.

"That's odd…I could have sworn that he would be there…and he certainly loves to snore." murmured Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Where could he have gone?" thought Qui-Gon Jinn.

Eventually, our heroes decided to use C-3PO to locate Jar Jar using his built-in radar. Unfortunately, his radar was rather faulty (Anakin Skywalker had picked it out from the garbage), so they had to bash him a few times in order to make it work.

"I believe he is located at an abandoned toilet paper facility." said C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped with confusion. Why would he ever want to visit that place? They already had toilet paper…then again he always needed to use the restroom.

Our heroes immediately went to look for Jar Jar…and soon enough found his carcass ridden with bullet holes.

"What happened? Is there someone that hates him aside from us?" asked Anakin Skywalker.

"Everyone hates Jar Jar Binks, Anakin. Let's just resurrect him so that we can kill him again." stated Padme Amidala.

And so our heroes brought Jar Jar back from the dead for the 68th time…after all, he was overdue for his next execution…

Once again, there were so many possibilities…and only so many they could pick…

_Seeing though the next killing method is going to be number 69__th__…do you think it should be something perverted? Or do you just want it to be gruesome and violent…knowing you guys it's probably the latter…but like I said I'm open for suggestions. As usual, I'll be surfing through your reviews to see if you have anything worthwhile for me to use…after all, I just killed Jar Jar Binks using a Jigsaw game…(well, not quite, but he did get killed, didn't he?)_

_So I guess I'll be seeing you guys later…after all, we've got a certain little Gungan to kill…it's not surprising that he was banished from his hometown, isn't it?_


	69. Piranhas

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_I recall mentioning something about murdering Jar Jar with piranhas, did I not? Well, I just thought of the next way to kill Jar Jar…as for making it something perverted…well I guess I'll do something rather mild…I don't want to gross you guys out too much…even if the Gungan's deaths tend to be very violent nowadays…_

_Let's watch Jar Jar sleep with the fishes for the second time after the Jaws reenactment…why the sharks keep coming back after they keep being harpooned, I'm not exactly sure…but that's offtopic…_

_So, let's watch the Gungan die a horrible death just like he has already done so many times…it's what you've all been waiting for…_

**Chapter 69: Piranhas**

Jar Jar Binks was overjoyed to visit the overly-sized aquarium…after all, Gungans were awfully fond of water…in fact, their kingdom was essentially the Star Wars equivalent of Atlantis…

"When are we going to get to kill him? It's taking forever!" Anakin Skywalker asked. He was getting rather impatient.

"As soon as we reach the piranha exhibit." answered Obi-Wan Kenobi. "Unless you want to kill him using some other sort of sea creature?"

"No thanks, we're good. Death by piranhas!" squealed Padme Amidala.

Our heroes showed him all the fishes and other aquatic animals that existed in the aquarium…waiting eagerly for the point where they could show him the piranha exhibit…and then toss him in so that the little fishies would have their fish food.

Suddenly, they remembered something important…the aquarium had security cameras all over the facility…if they tried murdering Jar Jar while they were active; they would be likely to be arrested by the intergalactic police and sent to jail for five consecutive lifetimes, meaning they wouldn't be able to kill Jar Jar again. They would need to do something about them.

Our heroes decided to search the fabled Book of Resurrection to see if they could find any spell they could use to make sure they would get away with their horrible crimes. As it turns out, they had a spell that would disable security cameras. Whoever wrote the book had thought of everything.

After making sure that nobody (well, aside from them of course) would see their grisly work, our heroes decided it was time to dunk Jar Jar in…and so they did, with him making an enormous splash.

"I'm all wet!" complained Qui-Gon Jinn.

"At least he's where we want him now." stated Anakin Skywalker.

"What are yousa guys up to?" questioned Jar Jar.

Unfortunately, the piranhas weren't nearly as vicious as Hollywood movies would suggest…in fact, the worst they did was bite him in the butt.

"Ouchies! Mesa butt!" screeched Jar Jar.

Our heroes realized that they would need to do something to make the piranhas vicious…but what?

As usual, they decided to check the Book of Resurrection…apparently, there was a spell they could use to make the piranhas more vicious…it would fill them with the same hatred they had for Jar Jar.

Our heroes activated the spell. The effect was almost instantaneous, the piranhas began swarming the Gungan and turned him into a skeleton…suffice to say, his blood began filling the tank, and the poor fishies suffocated in the process.

C-3PO reached out so that he could grab Jar Jar's carcass, but unfortunately he wasn't waterproof and he exploded on contact with the water.

R2-D2 beeped sadly. Why did this always happen to his friend? Why did people hate him so much? If anyone, they should probably be hating the Emperor or Grand Moff Tarkin.

Suddenly, the Anti-Jar Jar Organization (who were all dressed in scuba gear, curiously enough) came out of the water tanks and began kidnapping our heroes. It was time for their next brainwashing.

One of the members was unfortunately grimy and would need to take a bath, as he had emerged from the septic tank.

"What were you thinking?!" yelled the other members, horrified at his rancid smell.

"Umm…" murmured the unfortunate member.

The Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization then resurrected the piranhas and Jar Jar, planning to bring the latter to their base for his next execution. It was always fun to do the job themselves every once in a while.

Interestingly enough, they had an aquatic base…but that's a story for another day.

_I said it was going to be rather mild…but it was funny to watch the piranhas bite Jar Jar in the butt, wasn't it? Of course, he deserved far worse than that…but what does it matter? Once again, the Gungan will be executed by the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization…and the heroes are going to start murdering the Gungan in even more gruesome ways than usual…not like they weren't gruesome already…_


	70. Carbonite

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization will once again get their chance to execute Jar Jar Binks…we haven't seen them in a while, now haven't we? Since they can't let our heroes have all the fun, they shall now be killing Jar Jar by freezing him in carbonite!_

_That's what you wanted, was it not? Of course, doing that to him might not be gruesome enough…so I've decided to add a little twist to it as usual…_

_What will be? You'll find out._

**Chapter 70: Carbonite**

As usual, things were busy at the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization base. They were all excited that they were going to get to murder Jar Jar Binks again. He had died dozens of times, and now it was time for him to die for the seventh time here at their base.

"So, just recently you built a carbonite chamber so that we can freeze Jar Jar, am I correct?" asked the leader of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization.

The scientist nodded, pointing to the overly-sized machine with a knob for setting how much carbonite was to be used. The boss wondered how much money they had spent on it…but he ultimately decided it was worth every penny if it would murder Jar Jar Binks gruesomely.

"Sooo…do you wish to test it out on him? I don't have all day, you know." he asked.

"If it means killing him, then yes. Bring that little demon in!" answered the boss.

Immediately, some of the more muscular members of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization brought in Jar Jar Binks, who was kicking and screaming. The boss wondered why.

"Yousa not ganna kill mesa again! Let go of mesa arms! Mesa like mesa arms! Let mesa go!" Jar Jar screamed.

"Toss him in." stated the boss.

Soon enough, the scientists sealed Jar Jar Binks inside the carbonite chamber. In just a few seconds, he would end up just like Han Solo, and he would look just like a sculpture in a museum.

"First da toxic gas, now dis! What are yousa guys up to?" complained the Gungan, who was already banging on the door.

"Hmm…he's starting to remember the murders we've committed…that might pose a problem in the future." thought the Boss. Why was he so smart all of a sudden?

Immediately, Jar Jar Binks was frozen solid…the members of the organization wondered if they should place him in a museum.

Unfortunately, there was a problem…the Gungan wasn't dead. They had failed. The scientists could detect his pulse.

"Well of course he's not…being frozen in carbonite isn't lethal…all it does is blind you temporarily." stated the boss of the organization.

The members began wondering what they were going to do with the frozen Jar Jar. Should they try to thaw him out and watch him stumble around blindly? That didn't sound like it would hurt him too much, and it certainly wouldn't make a great killing method.

Or maybe they could donate him to a museum…problem is, they would probably notice if he was trapped in there…and they would get seriously sued or something. That was clearly out of the question.

Suddenly, one of the members got a rather violent idea. He went to the weapons room and brought back a bunch of blunt weapons.

"I say we use these and start smashing Jar Jar to pieces! Death to Jar Jar!" squealed the bloodthirsty member.

The other members agreed to this idea, and started smashing the carbonite sculpture to pieces with the overly-sized hammers that were surprisingly light for their size…this naturally was quite lethal to Jar Jar and killed him rapidly as he became a bloodstained mess. May the Gungan rest in pieces.

"Now then, we should get him back to his folks…I already gave them a list of executions they can use so they can kill him faster." the boss ordered.

"Ah yes, wouldn't want them to run out of ideas, now would they?" agreed the second-in-command of the group.

As it turns out, they were being forced to watch Barney and Friends…who interestingly enough had an Anti-Barney the Dinosaur and His Little Dinosaur Friends Organization that was far larger than theirs was, and the dinosaur was currently being executed by tar pit. Due to the fact they were always killing him and donating him to museums, they never ran out of funding, so they always had new ways to kill him.

"Too bad nobody wants him as a science experiment." complained one of the scientists. He wondered if they were going to go bankrupt all day from all their crazy inventions.

Afterwards, the priests (who were dedicated to sacrificing Jar Jar to appease our lord and our savior, curiously enough) of the organization brought in the Book of Resurrection they wrote so that they could bring him back from the dead.

"Why do mesa always come back from dead? Mesa must be immortal!" wondered Jar Jar.

"He's on to us. Hit him on the head!" ordered on the Boss.

The priest whacked him on the head with a shovel, causing him to lose the memories of the event.

Jar Jar Binks and all of his friends were then tossed into a van, which was big enough to hold all seven of them. It then drove 100 miles an hour towards their house…why they didn't get a speeding ticket, the galaxy may never know.

"Curious, I found this list inside that van." spoke Anakin Skywalker. "It has a bunch of killing methods we can use on Jar Jar."

"Which one…" thought Padme Amidala.

Our heroes began examining the list. It was rather long, and therefore was full of suggestions they could use…

"We could try dipping him in acid…" suggested Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Or maybe we could toss him in a car crusher." argued Qui-Gon Jinn.

"What do you think, R2-D2?" asked C-3PO.

R2-D2 began beeping rapidly…suddenly he malfunctioned and exploded.

"What happened?!" screamed Padme Amidala.

"It must have been a programming error." stated Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Or maybe he got tired of people being unable to understand him. All he ever does is beep." questioned Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Either way, we're going to have to rebuild him from scratch." complained Anakin Skywalker.

And so our heroes began repairing R2-D2…which unfortunately took the rest of the chapter.

Afterwards, they began thinking of an execution method they could use from the list. So many choices…and so little they could actually use.

But eventually, Anakin Skywalker decided to choose one…curiously, it reminded him of an epic battle he would have in the future…he wasn't sure why.

_So, what did you think about this chapter? _

_In the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks will end up like the Wicked Witch of the West…and before you ask, I'm not going to dip him into acid…I'm going to dip him in something else…something hot…_

_Any guesses? I'm waiting…_


	71. Lava

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die through taking a lava bath…which you probably know already as molten rock that erupts from a volcano as part of a natural disaster…_

_Curiously enough, there's an entire planet known as Mustafar that's covered with this stuff…how Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi weren't vaporized by it the galaxy will never know…_

_But this is where Jar Jar Binks will die a rather gruesome death…see why I saved it for moderately late in the story?_

_Hopefully the wait was worth it…and I hope you find this chapter awesome._

**Chapter 71: Lava**

"Gosh, it's awfully hot here." complained Anakin Skywalker, who was sweating heavily. This time, Obi-Wan Kenobi had decided to take them to the blazing planet known as Mustafar…which was infamous to its extreme temperatures. It was not exactly a good home for a snowman.

"That is because Mustafar is covered with lava." explained C-3PO. Apparently, he somehow thought that they didn't know that already.

"No duh." snarled Padme Amidala. She wondered if he should push him off the side of the ship and make him melt into goop.

"This lava will be more than hot enough to melt Jar Jar Binks…let's toss him overboard, shall we?" asked Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Qui-Gon Jinn brought in Jar Jar Binks, who surprisingly was kicking and screaming.

"Mesa not wanna take lava bath! Mesa wanna take bubble bath!" complained Jar Jar Binks, even though he had taken one just yesterday.

"Too bad. Into the river of lava you go." replied Qui-Gon Jinn, grinning wickedly.

Anakin Skywalker then pushed Jar Jar Binks into the lava, causing him to fall in and melt almost instantly. Suffice to say, his reaction was less than enthusiastic.

"Ohhh! Yousa cursed brat! Look what yousa done! Mesa melting! Mesa melting! Oh, what a galaxy! Who woulda thought that a good little boy like yousa could defeat mesa ugly obnoxiousness? Oh look out! Look out! Mesa going! Ohhhh! Ohhh!" he screamed.

Shortly after ripping off the Wicked Witch of the West, Jar Jar Binks died, and became one with the lava…er, force. Of course knowing him, he probably became one with the dark side of the force.

"Hooray!" squealed Anakin Skywalker. He was once again dead, and he began doing a little dance near the edge of the ship…

Unfortunately, in a rather clumsy moment, the Jedi lost his balance and fell off into the blazing inferno below. He landed on an island near the boiling lava, exposing him to the terrible temperatures.

"Gah! Help me! It burns! Aargh!" screeched Anakin Skywalker, in horrible pain. Lava tended to do that to people's skin.

"Anakin!" screamed Padme Amidala and Obi-Wan Kenobi. What were they going to do? He was going to die if they just sat there.

"What an idiot." murmured Qui-Gon Jinn. He should have been far more careful considering how dangerous Mustafar was.

Thankfully, our heroes managed to save Anakin Skywalker…but unfortunately, he was burned horribly from being so close to the lava. In fact, it was somewhat hard to recognize him…How were they going to save him from becoming one with the force?

Our heroes checked the Book of Resurrection…but unfortunately, Jar Jar Binks had been eating some of the pages since they had last used the book…including one about the healing spell.

"Jar Jar's getting smarter!" screamed Qui-Gon Jinn. What was going on?

R2-D2 beeped in fear. He was starting to catch on to their intentions.

Left with no other choice, our heroes decided to place Anakin Skywalker inside a cruddy suit…and decided to call him Kid Vader for the time being. Why you ask? Because it was funny.

"What's going on?!" questioned Kid Vader, curious to why he was now wearing a scary black suit.

"You fell off the airship and were badly injured, so we placed you inside this mechanical suit so you could survive."

"Well, this suit sucks!" complained Kid Vader. Why did it have to be the only suit they had? For one thing, it was bulky, and its vision was terrible. Whoever had designed the suit was a complete idiot, possibly Jar Jar Binks himself.

"Too bad, you're going to have to wear it for the next few chapters." answered Padme Amidala.

"Noooooooooooooo!" screamed Kid Vader. Why Force why?

"Sucks to be you." answered Qui-Gon Jinn.

_Anakin Skywalker has become a kid version of Darth Vader…poor guy…at least he'll be able to take it off once he's feeling better again…but like Padme Amidala said, he's going to have to wear it for the next few chapters until he's fully recovered…otherwise, he's going to die…_

_In retrospect, our heroes could probably simply resurrect him using the Book of Resurrection…but unfortunately, Jar Jar Binks is starting to tear pages out of the book…he's become smarter ever since that Jigsaw game, hasn't he?_

_In the next chapter…well, it's pretty much going to be the same as the last chapter really…Jar Jar Binks is going to be melted with another substance…can you guess what it is?_

_Of course, you've probably figured it out already considering my last chapter…but I'd still like to hear some guesses…_


	72. Acid

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter , Jar Jar Binks will die through acid! (No, he will not be taking any sort of drug, before you ask, I've already killed him using a drug overdose, or as a Star Wars fan would say a spice overdose early on in the story, so don't expect that to happen to Jar Jar Binks._

_He shall instead die by being dipped in acid...What else do I have to say about this killing method? Ah yes, It shall be wonderful…it shall be magnificient…and it shall be hilarious!_

_Well, I hope so anyway. This is probably the killing method you've all been dying to see…of course, I already melted Jar Jar Binks with lava, so maybe you've already seen this horribly gruesome death coming._

_Either way, I hope you enjoy this latest chapter. Death to Jar Jar Binks through unrealistically deadly chemicals that are always in horror and sci-fi movies!_

**Chapter 72: Acid**

"So let me get this straight…you went to a scientist's lab and stole several gallons of deadly acid just so that we can melt Jar Jar?" Padme Amidala asked.

"Yes, and today we shall be dipping Jar Jar Binks in it." stated Kid Vader in his mechanical voice. Being in a mechanical suit that was built by five-year-olds sucked horribly. He hoped that his friends would be able to repair the Book of Resurrection soon so that he wouldn't have to wear the suit.

On the bright side, he never needed a costume for Halloween…but Halloween only occurred only once a year, so it wasn't exactly much of a consolation. Darn it.

"I hope I don't get dipped." wondered C-3PO. They had all been at his metallic throat a lot lately. Last week he had been smashed with a sledge hammer and rebuilt simply so they could kill him again. Granted, they didn't hate him nearly as much as Jar Jar Binks, but they still killed him every once in a while.

As usual, our heroes had to knock him out and prepare him for the deathtrap…it wasn't easy, as Jar Jar Binks kept evading Kid Vader's baseball bat. When had he gotten so fast? He felt like he was trying to outrun a cheetah…speaking of which, he wondered if he should try killing the pest by having him mauled by a lion or some other sort of predator.

"Mesa not gonna let yousa hit mesa!" screamed Jar Jar Binks. "Can't touch mesa!" Once again he went into an annoying singalong that made people's ears bleed horribly. And to make matters worse it was already stuck in their head.

"Use the force, my apprentice." suggested Obi-Wan Kenobi. The force worked for everything apparently, and it would be prove to be quite helpful to kill Jar Jar Binks, as demonstrated when he once killed him using a force choke.

Using the force, Kid Vader was able to swing even harder than before, and the most evil Gungan in the world was knocked out cold. The next thing our heroes had to do was tie him up and then suspend him above the pit of acid so that they could kill him horribly. It took them a good thirty minutes, but they somehow managed to do it.

"Wake up you stupid Gungan!" screamed Qui-Gon Jinn. He clearly wanted the little pest to be awake as he was slowly dipped into the green goo so that he'd experience more pain. After all, the more agonizing the death was, the more satisfying it would be.

"What are yousa up to this time?!" squealed Jar Jar Binks, noticing he was suspended in midair by a rope. He wondered what was below him. Judging from what he knew it was probably something unpleasant.

"We're going to dip you in this acid pit right below you." Padme Amidala squealed with sadistic glee. "And you're going to die a horrible death!"

R2-D2 beeped with excitement at what Padme had said. Die Jar Jar Binks die! Make him suffer for ruining the Star Wars prequel trilogy! Make him suffer for making the writer write this overly long fanfic! Make him suffer for turning Anakin Skywalker into a cyborg! Make him suffer for not flushing the toilet whenever he goes to the bathroom!

"Oh no yousa don't! Mesa not ganna die today!" yelled the Gungan. Immediately, he began gnawing at the ropes, and before long he was free…

…and soon enough an enormous splashing noise was heard, as Jar Jar Binks fell in and was stripped to the bone in a matter of seconds.

"Mesa melting! Mesa melting! Mesa wanna be solid, not liquid! Why yousa why? Do yousa want Gungan soup or somefing?" asked Jar Jar Binks. Immediately afterwards, he died from his lack of flesh.

Unfortunately, Padme Amidala and Qui-Gon Jinn had been splashed by the acid, and they ended up being stripped to the bone too. That acid was powerful stuff.

"It seems in Jar Jar's stupidity, he killed them." stated Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Nooooo!" yelled Kid Vader. He shouted so loud that it shattered all the windows in the house. It was a good thing that there was nobody outside.

"I'll go get the Resurrection Book and use the repair spell." stated C-3PO, who reached for the bookshelf where they kept the Book of Resurrection.

R2-D2 naturally decided to travel with him. When were those two ever separated? They were never separated for long, that was for sure.

After our heroes resurrected Jar Jar Binks and their unfortunate friends, our heroes decided to go to bed, unaware that they would shortly be visited by yet another horror icon…one that liked to prey on children…and was oddly fond of balloons…

_So, what do you think about the evil Gungan being dipped in acid? I hope it was worth the wait for you guys…of course, it's unfortunate that Padme Amidala and Qui-Gon Jinn were splashed by the acid and therefore ended up being killed as well…_

_Can you guess who's going to visit Jar Jar Binks this time? I'll give you a hint…he's the star of a really long novel…probably the longest novel in the world…I wonder why the author decided to make it so long…I don't think I'd be able to read all of it…_

_Of course, he's been visited by several horror icons already…so I think you might already be able to figure it out. But if you can't, then it's not a big deal. You'll find out in the next chapter…speaking of which, I've come a long way, haven't I? It feels like just yesterday that I sent him flying through an airlock…he got what he deserved, I can tell you that?_

_Also, today's the anniversary of 9/11…so it's a good thing I didn't kill Jar Jar Binks through a plane crash…you know, maybe I've talked too much…I bet you want to close this chapter…so I'll see you later…bye-bye!_


	73. Evil Clown

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, our heroes will have to take on an evil clown that can shapeshift into their worst fears…and naturally said evil clown will gruesomely murder Jar Jar Binks. After all, that's what you want, isn't it?_

_Mind you, this chapter is going to be rather long; after all, the book this evil clown starred in was over 1000 pages…has any of you actually read the whole thing? It certainly would be a marathon…I wonder if I could even carry that book…_

_So, if you don't mind reading a rather long story about our heroes' battle with a psychotic clown that makes the Joker seem tame…then feel free to read this chapter and continue on with the story of how our heroes killed Jar Jar Binks one hundred and one times._

**Chapter 73: Evil Clown**

Today was going to be a big day for Jar Jar Binks, as today he would be competing in a paper boat race. He was going to a local river so that he could practice, so our heroes decided to leave him to his own devices while they prepared a new way to kill him.

As they did so, they read on the newspaper that a series of gruesome murders had occurred in their hometown recently. Disturbingly, most of the victims were children. What was going on?

"It says here that the victims were apparently eaten. Who would do such a thing?" questioned Padme Amidala.

"Probably someone who's sick and disgusting." answered Kid Vader. Whoever did this was clearly not right in the head.

"I sense a great disturbance in the force." Obi-Wan Kenobi stated. He wondered if the darkest depths of Hell would be too good for whatever serial killer was responsible.

"You always say that whenever you sense something's wrong." pointed out the kid cyborg.

"What can I say? When there's an imbalance in the force, it means that something terrible has happened. You should know that, young Jedi." explained Qui-Gon Jinn.

"You sure we should have let Jar Jar Binks go out alone when there's a serial killer on the loose?" asked C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped with fear.

"Who cares about Jar Jar Binks? We've already murdered him so many times…why does it matter if he gets killed now?" inquired Padme Amidala.

_Meanwhile near a sewer drain…_

"Dang nabbit! Mesa paper boat fell in da sewer!" screamed Jar Jar Binks. How was he going to get it back in time for the race?

He decided that he might as well start searching for it, and he was about to reach his arm into the drain when suddenly a rather mysterious fellow appeared.

"Are you looking for your boat?" he asked. "I've got it right here."

The Gungan noticed that he appeared to be a clown of some kind…but what the heck was he doing in a sewer?

"Mesa dunno, why are yousa hanging out in da sewer? It's filthy down dere. Yousa probably gonna need bath." pointed out the Gungan.

"Because my dear friend, there are all sorts of fun things down here. To be more specific, there are cotton candy, roller coasters, and best of all, there are balloons! Did I mention that they float?" stated the evil clown.

"Oh boyz! Dat sounds like fun." squealed Jar Jar Binks, who reached for his paper boat.

That was a fatal mistake, as he discovered shortly.

"Down here you'll float too!" shouted the monster clown, as he ripped the Gungan's arm clean off. Apparently he had been taking steroids.

"Dat was mesa writing hand!" complained the Gungan. Shortly afterwards, he died from massive blood loss.

The evil clown then dragged the alien's body down in the sewers, and began devouring his corpse. He was far from his first victim, and he certainly wouldn't be his last.

_Back at the fun house, I mean our heroes' house…_

"Where is Jar Jar Binks? He should have come back by now. The paper boat race has already ended!" exclaimed Kid Vader.

"You're right, that is strange…why isn't he here yet? I was about to kill him by playing a game of knife throwing with him." agreed Padme Amidala.

"One of us has to go look for him." suggested Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"I guess I'll go. I've got a lot of time on my hands." nodded the only girl in the entire galaxy.

"Be careful. I get the feeling that there's a monster on the loose." C-3PO suggested.

Padme Amidala told him that she would be careful, and went to look for the pesky Gungan.

Soon enough, she found Jar Jar Binks…more specifically what little remained of him.

"What the crap?!" she screamed.

Our heroine went back to the house to inform her friends of the bad news. It looked like they wouldn't be able to kill him today.

"Who in the galaxy would do this? Well, aside from us, of course." wondered Qui-Gon Jinn.

Frustrated, Kid Vader decided to look for his album of Jar Jar Binks. Maybe he could rip up a picture of him or two. It wasn't as good as actually killing him, but at least it was something.

Eventually, he decided to pick out of a picture of him smiling, after all, it was rather annoying.

Suddenly however, he noticed that the picture seemed a little…odd.

Out of nowhere, the picture suddenly winked at him, causing him to soil his pants and nearly short-circuit.

"What kind of demonic sorcery is this?!" yelled out Kid Vader.

Not long afterwards, the album started oozing with blood, causing him to scream like a little girl.

Naturally, this scream was heard by Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Are you alright, my apprentice?" he asked.

"It was horrifying! The picture of Jar Jar Binks winked…and then blood came out of the album!" bellowed Kid Vader.

"Blood? I don't see any blood. This album looks fine to me." Obi-Wan Kenobi told his apprentice.

Kid Vader scratched his head. Was it all just a bad dream?

_The next day…_

The cyborg Jedi stepped outside and wondered who in the galaxy could have killed Jar Jar Binks so gruesomely. Whoever it was, it was clearly some sort of supernatural entity. He also got the feeling that it was pure evil.

As it turns out, "It" was the key word.

Suddenly, he heard what appeared to be a carnival of some kind. But who the heck would open a carnival so close to his house?

Curious, he looked around, and noticed that a rather strange clown was riding a horse on a merry-go-round.

"Hey there kid! You want to go on a ride with me?" asked the clown that had murdered Jar Jar Binks.

"No thanks, you creep me out. And I don't even know your name!" our main protagonist asked him.

"You can call me Pennywise the Clown. Pennywise for short!" he squealed.

There was something about that name…curious, Kid Vader decided to check his book about horror icons. Why he carried around a book about horror icons, I have no idea.

After surfing through the pages (including the horror icons he and his friends had encountered before, such as Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger), he suddenly found a horror icon that looked similar to the clown that was right in front of him.

"What are you reading, kid? Can I read too?" the evil clown asked.

He started reading the book…and shortly afterwards he soiled his pants. Apparently, Pennywise was a shapeshifting monster that feasted on worlds, and on children.

Out of nowhere, the evil clown shapeshifted into Kid Vader's worst fear…Obi-Wan Kenobi wearing a woman's dress. And he was wielding an enormous lightsaber!

Once again, he screamed like a little girl and ran back into the house before the maniac clown chopped his head off.

As it turns out, Obi-Wan Kenobi was still searching for the Resurrection Book. Apparently he had misplaced it…or had Jar Jar Binks hidden it somewhere before he went to the paper boat race? He wasn't sure.

Once again, Kid Vader explained to him what had happened…but the Jedi master told him that it was probably just a bad dream.

Suddenly, they heard screaming coming from the bathroom. It sounded like Padme Amidala, so they went to investigate.

Much to his delight…she was only wearing a towel…apparently she was taking a shower when something scared her.

"What's the matter?" Obi-Wan Kenobi asked.

"I was taking a shower when cockroaches came out of the drain!" she exclaimed.

"Not you too." facepalmed the Jedi. Once again, he saw nothing. Were they having hallucinations? Or did he have to haul them off to the asylum and place them in strait jackets?

Kid Vader wondered if it had something to do with Pennywise the Evil Clown…the book said that he loved scaring people until they had heart attacks.

For now, he decided to simply stare at Padme Amidala while she was still wearing a towel… it was like candy for his eyes. Oddly enough, she didn't complain about it…

_The next day…_

Obi-Wan Kenobi wondered what had gotten into his apprentice and his girlfriend. As of late, they had been screaming about terrifying things that had been happening to them lately. But when he came to check, there was nothing there. Maybe they needed to see a doctor.

Suddenly, he heard what appeared to be a chainsaw revving. Was there somebody there?

Immediately, the Jedi master's worst fear came running toward him, an evil monkey ninja wielding a chainsaw.

He screamed in horror and ran towards the house, trying to avoid being the latest victim of the evil primate. It looked like his apprentice and his girlfriend weren't crazy after all…

He tried to tell Qui-Gon Jinn but what he had happened, but surprisingly he saw nothing. Apparently there was some sort of illusion surrounding the horrors our heroes had been witnessing lately so that only they could see them.

However, the Jedi Master would soon face the horror of Pennywise himself…in the form of a small little spider.

"Aah! Not spiders! I hate spiders!" screeched Qui-Gon Jinn, frantically trying to get it off him before he was bitten and its toxic venom sank into his brain.

At this point, it became clear that the monster clown was planning to kill every last one of them, and eventually, our heroes realized that they had to do something to stop the evil clown before they were all dead.

They eventually learned more about the creature…apparently It's true form was a giant spider rather than the evil clown that had been terrorizing them as of late...and that It was actually a girl.

"What?!" Padme Amidala exclaimed. Apparently she wasn't the only girl in the galaxy after all.

It also mentioned that it awoke every 27 years or so…and that eventually It would get pregnant (possibly from ******ing kids) and go to a bottom of an absurdly large sewer so that it could lay hundreds of eggs, which would rapidly hatch into little baby Its that would go on to terrorize towns and cities and the like.

Suffice to say, our heroes realized that if nothing was done, then millions of people would surely die…they would all end up becoming one with the force…and most importantly, that they wouldn't be able to kill Jar Jar Binks anymore.

"That monster clown must die! Just like Jar Jar Binks!" screamed Padme Amidala.

Suddenly, a hand reached out from the book and tried to strangle them, causing our heroes to frantically close the book. They soon noticed Pennywise the Clown himself standing on one of the bookcases, who shapeshifted into our heroine's worst fear, Justin Bieber.

"Nooooooo!" screamed Padme Amidala.

"Good to see you're not a Justin Bieber fan…now run!" screeched Anakin Skywalker.

Our heroes fled like sissy little cowards, except for C-3PO and R2-D2, who could not feel fear and did not realize the danger of the situation.

"Run you idiots! Run!" bellowed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Unfortunately, it was too late. Justin Pennywise let out an enormous sonic scream, causing C-3PO and R2-D2 to explode.

"I guess it's just us then." Kid Vader stated.

Our heroes went through a conveniently-located manhole and went to the bottom of the sewers…soon enough they found an enormous nest filled with hundreds of eggs.

"If we don't do something, then everybody in the galaxy is dead!" Kid Vader screamed. They had to destroy the nest before the eggs hatched, that was for sure.

Soon enough, Pennywise revealed his (or her, I'm not sure what gender It is) face. He/she seemed happy to see them.

"Good to see you've made it here! Are you ready to have some fun?" laughed the evil clown.

Soon enough, he (or should I say she?) transformed into his/her true form, a giant female spider with sharp teeth.

"Whatever you do, don't look at his…or her…or its…whatever…just don't look at the eyes! You'll go insane!" warned Padme Amidala.

Unfortunately, Qui-Gon Jinn received this rather important warning too late. He looked straight at the deadlights and immediately he went crazy.

"Blah blah blah blarg I'm so girly I'm in love with ponies and rainbows! I also like running around in my underwear! I'm also a dumb idiot with a hideous face and an enormous butt and my butt reeks and I like to make out with my own butt!" he squealed. He was definitely off the deep end.

It took advantage of Qui-Gon Jinn's current situation and swallowed the poor Jedi Master whole. Yum yum.

"Noooo!" Kid Vader screamed. Immediately, he pulled out his lightsaber and stabbed It in whatever was the spider equivalent of the chest…this cause It to explode in a spectacular light explosion.

Kid Vader then pulled out his improvised flamethrower and began destroying It's eggs…wouldn't want them to have to start killing It all over again, now would they?

Obi-Wan Kenobi let out a sigh of relief. "It's finally over." he said. They had finally killed the evil monster clown that loved scaring and eating people.

Our heroes then decided to go home and celebrate…after they resurrected their friends, of course. Soon enough, everything was back to normal, and our heroes could start killing the Gungan again.

Little did they know that Kid Vader had missed a few of the eggs…as they left, one of the eggs began to crack…and soon enough cooing could be heard around the sewer…

Was this the end?

_So, did you enjoy this latest chapter? I told you it was going to be rather long…at least compared to the other chapters I've written for this story…seventy-two other chapters to be precise. Woo!_

_I hope you enjoyed it…and I hope you continue to give me positive reviews…I appreciate it._

_In the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die by being fed to the king of the jungle…although technically they don't actually live in jungles…_

_So, feel free to leave a review as usual…it encourages me to continue working on this story after all…and therefore helps prevent this fic from ending up dead…if you know what I mean._

_So, I guess I'll see you next time._


	74. Lions

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will be devoured by lions…or lionesses…or whatever they're called…it will certainly be a gruesome death with lots of violence…just as my audience enjoys._

_So, as usual, have fun watching our least favorite Gungan die a horrible death as he is brought to justice for ruining the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy!_

**Chapter 74: Lions**

It was a bright sunny day at the Jedi household, as our heroes were thinking of yet another way to put down Jar Jar Binks. Anakin Skywalker had finally been healed from his injuries after Obi-Wan Kenobi managed to repair the book, so he was finally back to normal and ready to kill again. He was currently discussing the matter with Padme Amidala.

This time, they thought that it would be a good idea to feed him to some sort of animal…just like they had previously fed him to piranhas. But what particular animal would they choose this time? The jedi and his girlfriend decided to check a book about animals to see if they could come up with anything.

"You know, I can't help but shake the feeling we should try feeding Jar Jar Binks to lions." suggested Padme Amidala, once again coming up with a magnificent, repulsive, diabolical, and overall evil scheme to murder the most hated Gungan in the entire galaxy.

"Whatever makes you say that?" asked Anakin Skywalker. What could have possibly given her that idea? Was it that they were ferocious carnivores? Was it that they feasted on innocent deer? Was it that they liked to pounce on their prey? Was it because he was thinking of too many questions?

"Everyone knows that they're ferocious carnivores…when they're not lazy and sleeping all day." stated the young galactic princess. She certainly seemed to know a lot about animals. Maybe she should star on Animal Planet? Then again she would have to spend time away from killing Jar Jar Binks…and we all know how much she loved doing so.

"Ah yes, I suppose that we should try feeding Jar Jar Binks to lions. He'd certainly leave behind a bloody mess." agreed Anakin Skywalker, relishing the thought of murdering Jar Jar as usual. The lions certainly wouldn't be missing out on dinner tonight.

In fact, they would be having a full course meal consisting of delicious Gungan meat. At least, they hoped that Gungan meat was delicious. It would be a shame if it wasn't because being eaten alive was both gruesome and painful and was perfect for slaughtering obnoxious aliens.

Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala told Obi-Wan Kenobi about this plan…but he pointed out a major flaw…there were no lions native to their home planet, meaning that they couldn't feed him to lions there. Tough luck.

"How are we supposed to feed him to lions then?" wondered Anakin Skywalker. He wasn't even sure where lions lived…wasn't it somewhere in Africa? He hadn't really bothered researching about lions…all he knew was that they were kings of the jungle despite the fact that they all lived in the savannah. Who came up with their nickname anyway? Someone who didn't know much about them, that was for sure.

He thought and thought, and suddenly he remembered something. He could probably simply send him off to the zoo (which was only one light-year away, fortunately) and toss him into the lion's pit. It seemed like a good (or should we say bad?) idea as any…and a way to kill Jar Jar Binks once more.

Interestingly enough, the Gungan was ecstatic about the idea of going to the intergalactic zoo…in fact, he wanted to see the ferocious carnivores first…so it looked like murdering him wouldn't take as long as they thought. In fact, it would only take a few minutes.

After showing him the hyenas, cheetahs, leopards, jaguars, and whatever other kinds of ferocious animals were being shown at the zoo (they could have fed him to those particular animals as well, but they decided to wait until they saw the lions), they finally reached their destination. And that was where they executed their plan.

Immediately, they grabbed him by the arms and dipped Jar Jar Binks with some rubbing alcohol (which would cause the lions and lionesses to savagely attack him due to the fact that cats hated the smell of alcohol) and tossed him into the lions' den, causing yet another gruesome mess as blood and guts were spilled everywhere.

"Yousa kitties are bad! Yousa tearing mesa apart!" screamed Jar Jar Binks as he was slaughtered gruesomely by the carnivore felines.

Unfortunately, the zoo security (who for some reason were also police officers) came in armed with guns…and shortly afterwards they pulled out their trusty handcuffs and started to arrest our heroes.

Apparently, the security cameras that were across the zoo had completely slipped their minds this time and had recorded the entire thing, catching them red-handed. It looked like they were busted and they had finally been brought to justice for repeatedly slaughtering Jar Jar.

"You murdered a Gungan. You're going to jail for life." answered the police officer.

"Noooo!" our heroes screamed. Why George Lucas why? Why had he forsaken them? They couldn't believe this was happening!

"Judging from how gruesome the murder was…it is quite likely we will end up in death row." stated C-3PO.

"Um, yeah, you think?" answered Qui-Gon Jinn. Why did C-3PO always have to state the obvious? He was becoming nearly as annoying as Jar Jar Binks himself…and he was started to think that perhaps they should kill him again…assuming they ever got out of jail.

Our heroes were all loaded into an overly sized police truck and taken to the intergalactic court. Due to the overwhelming evidence against them, they were rapidly found guilty and they were therefore sentenced to life in prison, where they would never be able to kill Jar Jar Binks again. What a way to end the story, eh?

But due to the fact that our heroes were supposed to kill the Gungan twenty-seven more times, The Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization suddenly broke into the prison and released our heroes from jail…as it turns out, they had already resurrected Jar Jar Binks using the book…while fending off the bloodthirsty carnivores that wanted to eat them for lunch.

"We're free!" squealed Anakin Skywalker. Now they wouldn't have to eat prison gruel and could go home. Hooray!

"Let's get out of here before the guards realize the prisoners are escaping." suggested Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Sounds like a good idea to me, my apprentice." agreed Qui-Gon Jinn.

R2-D2 beeped with excitement. Now they could kill Jar Jar Binks again! Hopefully they wouldn't end up being arrested.

Our heroes rapidly escaped from prison and went back home, where they would be able to execute Jar Jar Binks once again for his crimes against humanity. And yet, he hadn't been sent to prison while our heroes had gone to jail for killing him due to the lousy judicial system.

They then decided to wait for nightfall to conduct their latest plan…but on that particular night something else would be slaughtering Jar Jar Binks…

_Once again Jar Jar Binks has died and the galaxy has become a better place…it's a shame that our heroes got arrested but at least they managed to break free…of course, now they're fugitives from the law so they're going to have to watch their backs for now on._

_Killing the Gungan sure is unlawful work…but I suppose that it must be done. After all, his screams of agony are music to our ears, aren't they? Surely you still want him to suffer some more before this story is over, don't you?_

_In the next episode…our heroes will be visited by killer clowns…from outer space!_


	75. Alien Circus

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die through yet another movie reference…however this time around this one is going to be more foreign…but I think you'll probably enjoy this chapter anyway…_

_Coincidentally, it's almost Halloween, so it'd be fitting that this chapter would be spooky…but naturally it'll be comedic at the same time. _

_By the way, I'm three-quarters done with this story…well excluding the final chapter anyway…I don't have much longer to go…I hope you've been enjoying this story. Let's watch the latest chapter shall we?_

**Chapter 75: Alien Circus**

Padme Amidala and Anakin Skywalker were on a date…in this case, they were happily gazing at the stars…and for some strange reason a bunch of teenagers were there to do the same thing.

"I have to admit, star gazing sure is fun." agreed Anakin Skywalker.

"I know, right?" asked Padme Amidala. "Of course we're always exploring the galaxy so-"

Suddenly, an orange meteor shot past the sky, and landed into the woods a few miles away.

"Holy cow! It's a shooting star!" Anakin Skywalker yelled. "Should we make a wish?"

"Something seemed odd about it." wondered Padme Amidala. Since when were shooting stars supposed to be orange? And she didn't think she had ever seen one that big…something wasn't right.

_Near the meteor's crash site…_

"Mesa love shooting stars! Mesa make a wish! Mesa wish dat da circus was in town! Mesa love da circus!" Jar Jar Binks squealed.

Suddenly, he noticed an orange circus tent was exactly where the orange shooting star had landed. It looked like his wish had already come true! What were the odds?

Of course, if he was sane, he would be wondering what the heck a circus tent would be doing in the middle of the woods, but the Gungan was far too excited to care. After all, it wasn't every day when the circus was around.

He looked around the tent, and noticed that curiously it was made of metal. Since when were circus tents made from those? And where were the clowns?

Suddenly, two clowns stepped out of the circus tent and immediately noticed him. They were holding what appeared to be toy guns.

"Hey yousa guys! Mesa love clowns! Can yousa give mesa cotton candy? Mesa hungry!" asked Jar Jar Binks.

The clowns responded to this by using their ray guns to turn Jar Jar Binks INTO cotton candy…due to the fact that this gelatinized his body this was lethal and he died almost instantly.

The space clowns let out an evil laugh, and carried the cotton candy cocoon into their tent. Or should we say spaceship? Either works I guess.

Unfortunately, Jar Jar Binks would be far from the only victim that particular night. In fact, he would only be the very first. Already, the space clowns were plotting an invasion, and they were attacking everyone that was outside the town, turning them into more cotton candy so they could drink their blood and have a fun party.

And to make matters worse, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn also happened to be star-gazing, and had no idea what was to come. They didn't even sense a disturbance in the force.

"Did you hear something?" asked the Jedi apprentice.

"I'm not sure, my apprentice. Did you?" asked the Jedi master.

Suddenly, two of the space clowns popped out of the bushes. Curiously enough, they offered Qui-Gon Jinn some popcorn.

"Why, thank you…" he said, eating some of the popcorn. "But what are you circus performers doing out in the forest?"

Suddenly, a baby space clown burst out of the Jedi's chest, killing him gruesomely. Obi-Wan Kenobi immediately panicked and ran away like a sissy little coward. He had to warn the others immediately!

Ironically enough, our hero and heroine had decided to investigate the clown's spaceship. Inside, they discovered cotton candy cocoons…

Curious, Anakin Skywalker decided to rip off a piece…and discovered that corpses were inside! Immediately, he screamed just like a little girl.

"Holy force!" he bellowed.

"What kind of circus is this?!" yelled Padme Amidala.

Suddenly, one of the evil space clowns came in…and immediately he spotted them. Our heroes were just barely able to escape…as they used a conveniently located car to drive away from the spaceship…

But in the process, they lured the space clowns towards town…which would go from the population of 9090 to the population of 10 in just a few hours.

_Inside town…_

"Did you encounter evil space clowns like I did?" Obi-Wan Kenobi asked.

"How'd you guess?" Anakin Skywalker replied.

Desperately, our heroes tried to warn everybody about the approaching alien invasion…but unfortunately the police chief was stupid and didn't believe them.

In fact, even when he got a several dozen calls from the citizens that were being attacked…he decided to be lazy and not send police officers to help.

Also, he arrested C-3PO and R2-D2…simply because he didn't like them. Wasn't he a jerk?

Naturally, his ignorance to the many phone calls he received would ultimately prove to be his downfall…as one of the space clowns went into his office and started pulling pranks on him.

Furious, he decided to lock him in with the same cell as C-3PO and R2-D2…only to end up being strangled by him.

"Can I ask you what you're in here for?" asked C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped with curiousity.

A few minutes later…Obi-Wan Kenobi went inside to see if he could find any weapons to help deal with the space clowns. Instead, he discovered that the police chief had been turned into a puppet.

"Calm down. All we want to do is strangle you with your own intestines." said the puppet of a police officer.

"You sick sons of a Sith Lord." murmured Obi-Wan.

The space clown then tried to attack the Jedi…but in a moment of sheer luck he pulled out a lightsaber and sliced the clown's nose off.

This caused it to explode in a rather bizarre explosion…why it didn't blow up the entire police station the galaxy will never know.

But Obi-Wan Kenobi had discovered the evil clown's weakness…he immediately busted C-3PO and R2-D2 out of jail and went to inform the others.

But unfortunately, Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala had already been captured by the evil clowns. They were stupid and decided to take the clowns on alone. They were currently trapped in a balloon and were being taken away to the big top.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi wherever you are-" Anakin Skywalker stated.

"HELP!" screeched Padme Amidala.

Quickly, Obi-Wan Kenobi used his space shuttle to pursue the big top as it went into outer space.

Thankfully, he managed to rescue Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala…who were awkwardly making out when he burst their balloon.

However, he immediately attracted the attention of the evil space clowns…who naturally started trying to gruesomely murder them. Our heroes desperately tried to escape from the big top…but eventually they were cornered, and the space clowns pulled out baseball bats so they could score a home run…and kill our heroes, of course.

Suddenly, C-3PO and R2-D2 arrived…and oddly enough they were wearing clown costumes.

"LEAVE THEM ALONE!" C-3PO screamed in an odd Chris Crocker-like voice.

R2-D2 beeped exactly what he said.

Curiously, the clowns walked away shortly afterwards…were they actually listening?

Suddenly, an enormous clown descended from the sky…apparently, he was the one who was responsible for all the horrible things that had happened that night.

Immediately, he stepped on C-3PO and R2-D2…crushing them into little robotic pancakes.

"Noooo!" screamed Anakin Skywalker.

"Yes!" squealed Padme Amidala.

Klownzilla then immediately turned his attention towards our heroes.

"Run! I'll take care of him!" Obi-Wan Kenobi screamed.

Reluctantly, our heroes ran around like sissy little cowards back into their space shuttle…wondering if he would be OK.

Using the force, Obi-Wan used his lightsaber to pierce the giant clown's nose…causing it to explode like a nuke, killing all of the space clowns and putting an end to the comedic yet horrific alien invasion.

Somehow, Obi-Wan survived the explosion, and he along with the others used the Book of Resurrection to bring the thousands of people who had died back from the dead…which unfortunately included the nasty police chief.

"You're going to jail for five consecutive lifetimes!" bellowed the police chief.

"Will you just shut up?" asked Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Remind me to never eat popcorn again." stated Qui-Gon Jinn, recalling his gruesome death.

Our heroes then went to another galaxy...where they would travel next…the world may never know…although the author certainly did. After all, he knew everything!

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter…it has come to my attention that the story might be getting boring due to the fact that I'm starting to run out of ideas…_

_In the next chapter, our heroes will encounter flesh-eating zombies! How's that for a Halloween special eh? Of course, I might want to make a Christmas special after I make that…but that can wait until later._

_So, hopefully I'll be seeing you all soon…happy holidays!_


	76. Zombies

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks 76

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will get eaten by zombies…of course given that it's Halloween you probably saw it coming…but anyways let's get this chapter started shall we?_

_Yes, I know, it's been only day since I posted my last chapter…but I haven't updated the story in nearly a month so who cares?_

_Now then, let's watch the zombies eat Jar Jar Binks's brains. I'm sure that it will be hilarious and that it will crack you up…or not._

_Either way, let's start the chapter already._

**Chapter 76: Zombies**

After their encounter with evil space clowns, Qui-Gon Jinn once again decided to make our heroes visit the Jedi cemetery and honor the many Jedi that had all become one with the force. There were certainly a lot of Jedi who had died recently, including one who had died from having his eyes shoved down his pants so he could watch a Sith beat the crud out of him…and then had his tongue used to paint a boat and another one who had a sausage shoved down his throat and starving dogs stuck in his butt.

"Why does dis feel familiar?" wondered the Gungan, who felt like he had an unpleasant experience there before. Was it something about ghosts? He wasn't sure.

However, once they arrived at the cemetery…they noticed that it seemed rather different from when they last visited. It was as if evil was in the air…and they could even hear moaning. Something was not right.

"I've got a bad feeling about this place." warned Anakin Skywalker.

All around the cemetery were dead trees, some of which looked as if they were alive. It seemed even the wind was telling them not to go inside the cemetery. In fact, it was blowing in the opposite direction.

There was even a sign telling them "Do Not Enter" and that it was incredibly dangerous.

"I sense a disturbance in the force." Obi-Wan Kenobi also warned. Our heroes immediately started walking away.

But of course, Jar Jar Binks was stupid as usual and paid no attention, and walked straight into the cemetery. Unbuckling his trousers, he peed on one of the gravestones.

"Mesa feel so much better now!" he bellowed as he did his business. For some strange reason, he always needed to use the bathroom in the worst of times.

Suddenly, several zombies popped out of their gravestones and began advancing towards Jar Jar Binks. As with typical zombies, they were hungry for living flesh…and of course there was som right in their proximity.

Immediately, the starving zombies descended upon him, and they started to eat his miniscule brain along with his other vital organs, causing him excruciating pain.

"Help mesa! Mesa being eaten alive! Mesa not wanna become a zombie!" he screamed as the zombies tore at his flesh.

But it was too late, and the zombies ate him for dinner. He certainly was a delicious meal…but the zombies then turned their attention to our heroes, who started running away screaming like little girls.

"We should have brought guns!" screamed Padme Amidala. To make matters worse, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, and Qui-Gon Jinn had all left their lightsabers in the space shuttle, meaning they had no way to defend themselves. Wasn't that such a good idea?

Thankfully, the zombies (as most zombies in fiction, naturally) were very slow, and our heroes were able to easily outrun them, just as they had outrun the many monsters they had encountered in the past. But the zombies were anything if not persistent, and they continued following them out of the cemetery.

"I calculate our chances of survival are minimal." stated C-3PO as our heroes ran away.

"Will you just shut up?" demanded Padme Amidala. She was tired of C-3PO annoying her.

R2-D2 beeped with fear from seeing the horrible zombies and soiled his robotic pants…leaving oil all over the floor.

Unfortunately, Qui-Gon Jinn wasn't paying attention to where he was going and slipped straight over it, and ended up having his brains eaten by the zombies as well.

"Noooo!" screeched Obi-Wan Kenobi as his master became one with the force. This was the second time he had died that particular day!

"We should have never gone here in the first place." thought Anakin Skywalker. He always hated cemeteries to begin with…and once this was over he would hate them even more. Suffice to say, he never wanted to visit a cemetery again.

Thankfully, the rest of our heroes were able to get in the space shuttle and fly away from the zombies. It was a good thing that the undead were unable to fly.

As usual, our heroes resurrected everyone that had died…which naturally included Jar Jar Binks so they could kill him in the next chapter.

However, they noticed that something seemed odd about it since they had last entered…had somebody gone inside while they were gone? Had it been sabotaged? They weren't exactly sure.

Our heroes decided to ignore this for the moment as they escaped from the zombies…with the exception of Jar Jar Binks, who noticed that there were strange eggs inside the ship.

"Oh boy! Mesa ganna have scrambled eggs for breakfast!" he squealed stupidly, having no idea what was inside of them.

As he left, one of them began to hatch…

_To be continued…in the next chapter, obviously._

_So, did you like this chapter? I figured that seeing though it was Halloween this chapter would be just perfect…I hope you all have fun trick-or-treating…_

_In the meantime…feel free to subscribe to me…I appreciate all the reviews and favorites I keep receiving…even if it starts to wear thin after a while…_

_Oh, and if you see a zombie…pull out a shotgun and blow its head off!_

_In the next chapter…I'll be referencing yet another movie…and Jar Jar Binks will once again die a horrible death…just as he always does! After all, it is a once per episode thing…and something to look forward too._


	77. Xenomorph

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die one of his many horrible deaths…but you should all know by now considering that he's died so many times…_

_In this case however, he will die from an infamous type of alien that has starred in several horror movies…can you guess what it is?_

_Oh, what the heck, you can probably figure it out just by the title…so I guess I'll stop asking you questions and start this chapter already…_

**Chapter 77: Xenomorph**

Our heroes as usual were plotting how to murder Jar Jar Binks again…unaware at that particular moment that something evil was plotting to murder them…

As it turns out, a miniature alien was looking around for victims…it had recently hatched from its eggit spotted C-3PO and R2-D2…but strangely it did not attack them…apparently it was looking for something organic, not mechanical.

At that particular moment, the alien spotted its victim, which naturally was Jar Jar Binks, who was happily skipping along the ship unaware of what was going to happen to him as usual. "Nothing can go wrong!" he squealed.

Suddenly, a Facehugger ran up to him and latched onto his ugly face.

"Get off of mesa face!" he demanded. "Mesa love mesa beautiful face! Mesa wanna make out with hot Gungan chicks! Leave mesa face alone!"

Surprisingly, it did so, and died shortly afterwards.

"What was dat all about? Why did it latch onto mesa face? Did it like mesa face or something? Mesa not sure." Jar Jar Binks wondered.

A few minutes later…he started to feel a little ill. But he paid it no mind, as it was probably nothing. Still, he couldn't help but shake the feeling that there was something now inside him. What in the galaxy could it possibly be? Did it have anything to do with the alien that had latched onto his face earlier? It seemed rather harmless.

"Mesa ganna have wonderful day today! As soon as mesa stop havin' stupid chest pains. Mesa hate havin' chest pains!" he squealed, unaware of what was in store for him and his crewmates.

_A few hours later…_

Meanwhile…our heroes were plotting Jar Jar Binks's death as they spoke…they were wondering if they should shoot him to death with a minigun…or should shove a grenade in his mouth and make his head explode. Both of them seemed rather cliché, but our heroes thought that maybe it would be a good idea anyway.

"I say we shoot him to death with a minigun! I'd love to see him covered with bullet holes!" bellowed Anakin Skywalker, who wanted to pump Jar Jar Binks full of lead.

"I think we should blow his head up with a grenade. That would be more entertaining." argued Padme Amidala, who wanted to see Jar Jar Binks's head explode into chunks.

"Both of your methods are cliché, my apprentices. I suggest we try something more original…maybe we could slice him into itty bitty chunks and then shove him down the garbage disposal? I figured that would be where he belongs…but then again, we might have a difficult time resurrecting him if we do so." contradicted Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"All of those methods should be highly lethal against Jar Jar Binks." calculated C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped some more violent things they could do to their archenemy Gungan.

Ironically enough, while our heroes were still discussing how to murder Jar Jar Binks in more gruesome ways than ever before, the obnoxious Gungan came up to them…he looked like he was very sick.

"Mesa chest feels like it's on fire! Mesa feel like dere's somethin' dat wants to come out!" he bellowed.

"I can't help but get the feeling of déjà vu." thought Qui-Gon Jinn. Why did it feel so familiar? It felt like he had experienced what Jar Jar Binks was now experiencing…but he couldn't put his mind to it.

A few seconds later, the Chestburster emerged from his chest, killing him instantly.

"Hooray! Jar Jar Binks is dead! And once again we didn't have to do it ourselves!" squealed Anakin Skywalker.

"What the heck is that thing? It looks like some sort of snake with no eyes…" wondered Qui-Gon Jinn.

The Chestburster immediately slithered away…as it did so, our heroes couldn't help but notice that it seemed to be growing bigger rapidly. What was going on?

"Something's not right here…" thought Obi-Wan Kenobi, who felt a rather deep disturbance in the force. He couldn't help but shake the feeling that the alien would return later…and it would be out for blood.

"I wonder why it ran off? I was pretty sure that it was going to attack us…maybe we dodged a bullet or something?" asked Padme Amidala.

"I guess today's our lucky day…that alien killed Jar Jar Binks and not anyone else…still, I can't help but shake the feeling this won't be the last we see of it." pondered Anakin Skywalker.

In the meantime, our heroes wondered if they should resurrect Jar Jar Binks…he had already died today, so should they bother to kill him again? They weren't sure.

They were still considering what to do with his carcass, when suddenly a ferocious Xenomorph burst into the room and started tearing our heroes to shreds. It loosely resembled the Chestburster they had encountered earlier. Could they be the same?

"What the deuce?!" bellowed Anakin Skywalker.

Thankfully, our heroes managed to gun it down using the minigun they were originally planning to use on Jar Jar Binks and blow it up using a grenade…but not before Obi-Wan Kenobi was decapitated and Qui-Gon Jinn was sliced in half.

And to make matters worse, corrosive acid was now all over the floor, and was tearing through the hull.

"This isn't good…" thought Anakin Skywalker.

Eventually, a gaping hole formed into the ship, and the soul-sucking darkness of space started swallowing them, causing them to scream like little girls.

C-3PO and R2-D2 were unfortunately sucked in, and they died a horrible death. Thankfully, Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala were able to escape…

"We should resurrect our friends now that we managed to kill that horrible alien…" thought Padme Amidala.

"Shouldn't we repair that enormous hole in our ship first? For all we know it could end up causing it to crash or something…" disagreed Anakin Skywalker.

And so our hero and heroine used the Book of Resurrection to repair the gaping hole in the floor that the vicious Xenomorph made and then went to resurrect their friends.

Interestingly enough, Obi-Wan Kenobi wanted to visit a nearby jungle planet this time…little did they know that said planet was populated by yet another hostile species…one that liked hunting other aliens for sport.

_Aren't Xenomorphs deadly aliens? As you can also see, they're rather cunning creatures too…even in death that particular Xenomorph managed to remain a threat…isn't that right, R2-D2 and C-3PO?_

_And to make matters worse, our heroes are going to encounter another type of alien shortly afterwards…thankfully, these ones aren't as dangerous…as long as you know how to deal with them…but of course our heroes won't know what to do and therefore some of them will die horribly._

_So I hope you'll enjoy the next bloodbath just as much as you enjoyed this one…assuming that you enjoyed this chapter that is. After all, Jar Jar Binks died another gruesome death, didn't he? And so did most of his friends…including C-3PO, who you probably hate nearly as much as our least favorite Gungan himself…_

_Now then, I'll see you next time…probably during or after Thanksgiving…I've got some time now that I'm on Thanksgiving Break…a lot of time in fact…so expect to hear from me soon…hopefully at least._

_So, don't forget to leave me a review or two! That way I'll be encouraged to continue. And you all want me to continue, right?_

_Adios!_


	78. Predator

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks 78

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will encounter deadly aliens known simply as Predators, known best for hunting down humans…and of course other aliens…_

_In the event you ever find yourself in Predator territory…I suggest that you don't bring a weapon for you…in fact, try to appear weak and defenseless so they don't try and hunt you down…that way you won't have an intergalactic funeral later…_

**Chapter 78: Predator**

Our heroes had decided to visit a local jungle planet this time, unaware that as soon as they landed that they were being watched by an alien race.

"Now where are we? I don't think we've ever visited this planet before…" asked Anakin Skywalker.

"We're visiting a local jungle planet my apprentice…my friends said that they would meet us here…but where are they? They all seem to have vanished…maybe they're out playing poker or something? They never seemed to take their duties seriously…" noted Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Curious, our heroes decided to look around and see if they could find anything. Of course, they were stupid and decided to go off in different directions, Jar Jar Binks included.

The Gungan himself naturally decided to go into the woods, despite the fact that he had read the guide to horror book movies recently and had therefore discovered the dangers of getting ambushed in the forest. Soon enough, the Gungan discovered a dead body of a Jedi, and wondered what had happened to them.

"Why are yousa dead? Did yousa spontaneously combust or somefing?" the Gungan asked.

Curious, he noticed that he was holding a lightsaber in his hand. Apparently he had died trying to defend himself.

But Jar Jar Binks took no heed to do that, and instead tried playing with the lightsaber.

"Yay! Now mesa can become a jedi! Mesa always wanted to be jedi!" squealed the Gungan stupidly.

Suddenly, he heard strange noises coming from the woods. Was there somebody else there? He got the feeling that it probably wasn't human…

"Who is dere? Mesa got lightsaber and mesa no afraid to use it!" screamed Jar Jar Binks.

Immediately afterwards, somebody shot a laser beam at Jar Jar Binks, which blasted his arm off and caused it to lie there on the ground, still holding onto the lightsaber.

"Dat was mesa favorite arm! Mesa was gonna write letter today! Give mesa arm back!" he demanded.

Shortly afterwards, he had his head blown off by the same attacker. Sizzling from the gun could be heard as the strange attacker put his gun away.

_A few minutes later…_

"Did you hear something?" asked Anakin Skywalker.

"Yes, I think it was Jar Jar Binks." answered Padme Amidala.

"We should probably check on him. If we're lucky he might be dead!" he yelled.

"Sounds good to me." agreed the galactic princess.

Our heroes went to the forest, where they discovered their Gungan enemy's gruesome fate.

"Hey! I found a dead body!" screamed Anakin Skywalker.

"Where?!" asked Padme Amidala.

"I found it lying out in the forest…I think he got attacked…and he has a big gaping hole in his chest…what the deuce happened to him?" the Jedi apprentice said.

"I wonder who could have done that to him?" replied the only girl in the galaxy.

Suddenly, they were spotted by a strange alien, who aimed his weapon at them.

"Look out!" Anakin screamed.

Curiously, the alien did not seem interested in attacking them…it simply stood there waiting…until the Jedi apprentice pulled out a rock.

"Back you fiend! Back!" he screeched.

Immediately, the alien pumped Anakin full of lead with a trusty minigun, killing him instantly. Padme screamed like a little girl and ran away.

Shortly afterwards, she ran into Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn, who were curious to why she was panicking all of a sudden.

"The jedi are dead! They've been killed by aliens! I think they were hunting them for sport!" screamed Padme Amidala.

"I see…wait, where's Anakin…" murmured Obi-Wan.

"He's dead too! The aliens shot him to death with a minigun!" yelled Padme Amidala.

Obi-Wan Kenobi facepalmed. _Talk about overkill…_

"We should probably get their bodies and resurrect them…but to do that we'll have to get past the aliens…" said Qui-Gon Jinn.

Our heroes began thinking to themselves how to do so…suddenly, they recalled that for some strange reason, the aliens didn't attack anyone who wasn't wielding a weapon. Perhaps they shouldn't go in there with their lightsabers?

"Sounds like a plan then." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

And so our heroes went into the woods weaponless and went to recover Jar Jar Binks and Anakin Skywalker's bodies.

"I wonder why Jar Jar Binks' arm is missing…" thought Padme Amidala. Did the Predators shoot it off? Had he accidentally sliced it off with a lightsaber? She wasn't sure.

Our heroes then dragged the carcasses back onto their shuttle, and used their ancient mumbo jumbo to resurrect Anakin Skywalker and the annoying Gungan so that they could kill him once more.

"Where is mesa right arm? Hello? Right arm, where is yousa?" asked Jar Jar Binks, who started searching around for it around the shuttle. Unfortunately, they had forgotten to regenerate it.

"Relax, we'll take care of it." said Anakin Skywalker, who used the book to grow him a new arm simply to stop his compaining.

"Thank you, Anakin! Yousa mesa buddy!" he squealed.

"Don't ever call me buddy." mumbled Anakin.

And so our heroes set out to go somewhere that wasn't infested with alien hunters that wanted to mount their heads on a random wall.

_I don't think our heroes will be visiting that particular planet again, do you? After all, they might step in a bear trap or something that was left behind by the predators…_

_First Xenomorphs and now this eh? It seems our heroes have encountered a lot of horror icons…I suppose we should probably take a break from that and move on to something else…_

_In the next chapter, our heroes will hijack a tank…and use it to kill Jar Jar Binks! Doesn't that sound like fun? Something tells me you'll agree with me…_


	79. Tank

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, our heroes will kill Jar Jar Binks using a tank! And no, not the zombie from Left 4 Dead, that's a rather different kind of tank…they'll instead be killing him using some heavy firepower…sound like fun?_

_Oh, and then the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization will abduct our heroes so that they can brainwash them into killing Jar Jar Binks again or something like that. _

_By the way, I heard that Disney now have the license to make Star Wars movies…what exactly do you think of that? Do you think that this is going to ruin Star Wars? Or do you think it's going to be better this way…I recently went to Disneyland by the way…now I have a few plushies of Disney characters…of course, so does my sister…for some strange reason, she bought a Lotso doll…what does she see in him?_

_So, let's get it on!_

**Chapter 79: Tank**

After thinking of a few ways to kill Jar Jar Binks, our heroes decided that the most satisfying ways to do so would be to murder him using a military war machine.

"Like what?" asked Anakin.

"I recommend we use a tank, my apprentice. It should have more than enough firepower to kill that slimeball Jar Jar. The only problem is that we do not have one." suggested Obi-Wan.

"In that case, we'll have to go to a military base and steal the tank from the military." pointed out Qui-Gon Jinn.

"But how will we slip it out underneath their noses? It'll probably be heavily guarded…and therefore it won't be easy to obtain." inquired Padme.

Our heroes began thinking of a plan to steal one of the tanks…how exactly would they pilot one anyway? Maybe they should read a book or something.

Suddenly, our heroes decided to look in the Book of Resurrection. Interestingly enough, there was a book that they could use to animate inanimate objects…such as brooms…for some strange reason it also said that if the objects were split apart they would become two…our heroes decided to see if there was anything to stop the spell in case anything went wrong. Thankfully, there was a way to keep it under control.

"Phew, that way it won't end up like a certain Disney movie featuring a dumb apprentice…" thought Anakin. He was surprised that Apprentice Mickey did not end up drowning from all the brooms he had created due to his incredible stupidity. He was simply too dumb to live, just like Jar Jar Binks himself.

And so our heroes went to the military camp known as Guns R Us, careful to avoid being spotted by the watchtowers…lest they end up being arrested and their killing spree coming to a premature end.

"You think someone's there? I thought I might have heard somebody." asked one of the soldiers.

"I don't know, nobody ever visits this place to begin with. Why are we even guarding this place? I suggest that we go on a coffee break." answered the other soldier.

And so the two soldiers decided to go out to get something to drink because they were so thirsty and were incredibly bored with their lousy job, leaving one of the tanks unguarded in the process.

"That was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Now all I have to do is cast the animation spell…" thought Anakin.

C-3PO then began explaining how to use the spell, which infuriated everyone else in the group, even R2-D2, who began beeping angrily.

Eventually, Anakin decided to command the tank to slaughter C-3PO using the tank as soon as he had finished casting, hurling a cannonball at the unfortunate android and shattering him to places.

Unfortunately, the tank became trigger-happy as Anakin Skywalker didn't follow all of the instructions of the spell, firing heat-seeking missiles and a laser beam from the tank as well.

"What kind of tank is this? Since when do tanks have heat-seeking missiles and laser beams? Is this tank an experimental model or something?" wondered Anakin. "Oh well who cares, this is just going to make things more fun."

By the time he had gotten the animation spell under control, Padme Amidala and Obi-Wan Kenobi had already become one with the force, and had mortally wounded Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Take me…to the hospital. It's only…fifty miles away." demanded the Jedi master.

R2-D2 immediately dragged him away, leaving Anakin Skywalker to kill the most annoying alien in the galaxy by himself.

"This is just like old times. How nostalgic. Say your prayers, Jar Jar Binks! Not like they're going to help you." thought Anakin, who immediately began looking for the horrible abomination that George Lucas called a comic relief character.

Sure enough he became hearing gunshot noises, and found the Gungan "Bang bang bang! Mesa love playing with guns!" he squealed.

"Stop shooting us!" demanded the unfortunate soldiers. Unfortunately, Jar Jar Binks was not a very good listener, and before long, they were all dead.

"Hooray! Mesa killed every last one of them! Now mesa buddies can't get dem to pump mesa full of lead….and now mesa won't die!" he squealed.

Suddenly, he noticed the enormous tank that Anakin had stolen, and immediately he wet his pants.

"Aah! Dat tank is coming for mesa! Mesa betta make a run for it!" he screamed, trying to get away from the tank.

Unfortunately for the stupid Gungan, Anakin was too fast, and soon enough Jar Jar Binks became a Gungan pancake as soon as the tank ran over him. Naturally, he was quite dead, and Anakin Skywalker began celebrating.

"Hooray! He's dead! Again! Now to resurrect my friends and-"

The jedi apprentice was then interrupted when a Anti-Jar Jar Binks member climbed on top of the tank, sedated him with a random tablecloth and then began loading him and his friends into their oversized truck. They resurrected Jar Jar Binks using the resurrection spell like always, so that they could kill him again in a rather gruesome way.

"You know, I think we're actually running out of options to kill him…how exactly are we going to kill the Gungan menace?" one of the members thought out loud.

They decided to cross that bridge when they came to it, and drove to the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Headquarters.

_Well, our heroes are scheduled for yet another brainwashing. And since this is their 8__th __time killing Jar Jar Binks, they're going to make it rather gruesome. Can you guess what it's going to be? Of course you can always give me ideas on how to kill him…but then again I might not use them and come up with my own idea…_


	80. Skinned Alive

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Guess what? It looks like the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization is going to pay Jar Jar a visit again…after all, he isn't going to kill himself by his own hands…well OK, maybe he is dumb enough to do that, but what fun would that be?_

_After going through some of your reviews, I've decided a way to kill him…and I hope that it will be make you happy like those happy meals you get at McDonalds. Unless McDonalds make you fat._

_I assure you, Jar Jar isn't going to be happy about this one…_

**Chapter 80: Skinned Alive**

Jar Jar Binks as usual was stuck waiting for his friends, who were currently being brainwashed by being forced to watch horrible movies such as The Garbage Pail Kids Movie or The Last Airbender. He could hear their screaming, and began to wonder what was going on.

"Why are mesa friends screaming? Are thesa being tortured?" he wondered.

Suddenly, he noticed that there was a sign saying "Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization" in rather big letters

"Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization? Wait a minute! That's mesa!" he bellowed.

Underneath the sentence was a smaller message. Apparently, it was their motto, as it said "Slaying A Gungan That Ruined The Star Wars Prequel Trilogy". Immediately he started to become worried. There was a conspiracy!

There was also a tally next to the sign that said how many times they had killed him, it was 79, which initially confused Jar Jar Binks, but that confusion turned into even more fear when he discovered on a calendar that today was the day that the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization was going to kill him personally. They had in fact already done in seven times, but this didn't matter to the Gungan. All he knew was that he had to get the heck out of there.

"Mesa needs to find way to escape! Dis place is death trap!" he bellowed.

Immediately, he noticed the vehicle that the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization had used to bring him here, and he got an idea.

"Mesa hotwire truck and escape by using highway! Thesa can't catch me if mesa drives fifty miles above speed limit!" he exclaimed.

And so he climbed into the truck through the window and started trying to turn it on. Unfortunately, an Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization member made the mistake of leaving the keys inside the truck, allowing him to place them in and turn it on.

"Freedom!" he squealed. Escape was in his grasp!

Meanwhile, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization was discussing how to kill Jar Jar Binks. They decided that it should be a very gruesome death, and one that would be very painful too. But just how were they going to do that this time? It seemed that there wasn't one suitable for Jar Jar Binks after how many times they had killed him and how many times he had kept annoying people anyway.

"How many times do you think we can kill him before we completely run out of ideas?" asked one of the members, who began scratching his head.

"I don't know…sheesh, who would have thought killing a Gungan would eventually become so difficult? Personally, I'm already out of ideas! What's a guy to do?" replied another member.

Suddenly, they noticed that there seemed to be an engine running. Was someone starting a car or something?

"What's going on out there?" they wondered. Was it already time to leave work? Something seemed wrong.

They looked out the window, and noticed that someone had turned on the truck they had used to bring Jar Jar here in the first place. Much to their surprise, the annoying alien was at the wheel!

"So long, bad people who want to kill mesa!" Jar Jar Binks squealed.

"Oh shoot! He's trying to escape! What are we gonna do?" one of the members exclaimed.

"Stop him!" ordered his higher-up.

Suffice to say, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization had their hands full trying to stop the Gungan from escaping. By the time they had located him, he had already started the truck.

"So long suckers! Yousa not killing mesa today!" he taunted as he started driving away.

Thankfully, they were eventually able to stop him by ordering on walkie talkie one of the members (who was guarding the headquarters in the strange occurrence they were somehow attacked) spike the truck with a sharp pair of tacks, causing it to get four flat tires.

"Why is da truck stopping? Go vroom vroom!" he demanded, not realizing what had happened.

He was immediately dragged out of the truck by several muscular Jar Jar Binks haters, who dragged him back to the headquarters and strapped him to the chair.

"Let mesa go! Mesa wanna be free!" he screamed.

Soon afterwards, the boss came in, looking furious.

"You stole one of my trucks, you little vermin! And because of you, I'm going to need to get more tires! I should skin you alive for this!" he screeched.

Suddenly, this gave the members of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization an idea. Immediately, they pulled off knives and started cutting off the Gungan's skin, causing him to scream in agony.

"Da pain! The horrible pain!" he yelled, as he began to experience horrible agony. Immediately, he began struggling against the straps of the chair. He had almost broken free when out of the blue he began to feel faint and passed out from the pain. He died shortly afterwards after a few more cuts.

"Good work team, now let's resurrect him. His folks are brainwashed once again and should be murdering him again soon." ordered the boss.

The Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization members agreed. They unstrapped Jar Jar's carcass from the execution chair and then resurrected him using the Book of Resurrection. They then shoved our heroes into the truck along with the Gungan and drove them back home.

"Isn't this job great? We get to kill Jar Jar Binks for fun and profit!" asked one of the members.

"Ah yes, this is easy money. Unlike my last job…" agreed another member.

_It appears that Jar Jar Binks has finally discovered that there is an organization plotting against him. How do you think he'll react when he visits them again? You think he'll fight back even more? But until then, he'll have to deal with his friends and family, who are going to kill him with more gruesome methods than ever…once again some of them will be picked by you…others I will think of myself I suppose._

_I hope you enjoy this latest chapter, and feel free to leave me reviews. Just don't send me hate mail or anything like that because nobody wants that. So I'll be seeing you next time._


	81. Cannibalism

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Well, here's another chapter in which Jar Jar Binks dies…there aren't that many to go is there…still I hope we have fun killing him…I know that some of you will._

_Anyways, I've decided to kill him in yet another gruesome way this time…he's going to fall victim to a bunch of jungle victims…who unfortunately practice cannibalism…basically it's not going to be fun for any of our heroes…except for maybe C-3PO and R2-D2 because the cannibals can't eat them._

_Of course, our other heroes aren't safe…as they will find out shortly._

**Chapter 81: Cannibalism**

Yet again, Obi-Wan Kenobi had decided to take the kids to another jungle planet, despite what had happened the last time they had done so.

"I don't know, you sure there aren't any of those Predator aliens living here?" asked Anakin Skywalker.

"I don't want us to get shot to death again…except for Jar Jar Binks, because he sucks and I want to see him die." agreed Padme Amidala.

"Calm down you two, I'm sure that there aren't any Predators on this planet…" answered Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"I hope you're right…" muttered Qui-Gon Jinn. Like Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala, he certainly didn't want any more aliens trying to kill him, or trying to annoy him for that matter.

Little did they know that out in the forest they were being watched by an insane, bloodthirsty native…one that was hungry for human flesh…and for some curious reason Gungan flesh. He went to his native buddies, who began formulating a plan to kill and eat them.

Unfortunately, our heroes were unaware that they were in danger at the moment (for some reason, they were always unaware of danger until it was too late, which got them into horrible situations), as they decided to set up camp.

"Why can't we just sleep in the shuttle? I'm so tired!" complained Anakin, who wanted to dream about Padme Amidala being in a strapless bikini.

"Yeah, me too! Why are we setting up camp?" concurred Padme, who wanted to dream about Anakin Skywalker being shirtless.

"Simple my apprentice, and his girlfriend. We are trying out something different today." responded Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Funny, I feel a disturbance in the force somewhere…" wondered Qui-Gon Jinn. Something was wrong with the planet, it seems, but what?

As our heroes set up camp, Jar Jar Binks once again separated himself from the rest of the group while they weren't looking. Naturally, this was a bad idea, as it was always dangerous to go alone out in the wilderness (especially considering that there were natives that wanted his head on a plate), but he didn't catch on. On the contrary, he was trying to avoid being killed by his friends by isolating himself from them.

"Mesa friends aren't gonna kill me! Mesa gonna go back to shuttle and maroon dem! Then thesa will be sorry!" he plotted.

Suddenly, he began to hear the sound of yelling. It sounded like it was coming from a bunch of different people.

"Is someone dere?" he wondered.

Out of nowhere, one of the natives threw a spear. It immediately pierced Jar Jar Binks's arm, causing him to scream in pain and for it to bleed heavily.

"Owie owie ouchies! Mesa arm! What's da big idea? Mesa needa go to hospital now so dat mesa can stop da bleeding! Mesa hope yousa pleased with yousaself!"

Shortly afterwards, the natives ran towards Jar Jar Binks. In just a matter of seconds, they surrounded him so that he couldn't escape. They then grabbed onto him and started eating his delicious Gungan flesh with their unusually sharp teeth.

"Oh mesa Gungan god! Mesa being eate**n **alive by cannibals! Someone help mesa! Mesa don't wanna be dinna! Help!" he screamed.

Unfortunately, his friends were too far away to hear him, and before long he was reduced to a Gungan skeleton. The natives decided to use him as a decoration for their native camp, just like they had done with their previous victims.

Meanwhile, back at the camp, Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala were trying to roast marshmallows.

"You think we could probably execute Jar Jar Binks using a campfire?" our heroine asked.

"We could do that, but I already killed the Gungan with fire a long time ago. Still, maybe there's something around here that we can use to kill him…" disagreed Anakin Skywalker.

Curious, he decided to have C-3PO scan the planet for anything they could use to kill a certain Gungan; much to their surprise they found the planet was not uninhabited, and that it was home to a bunch of jungle natives.

"Jungle natives? That doesn't sound too good." wondered Anakin Skywalker.

Suddenly, R2-D2 let out a loud beep. Apparently, someone was coming.

"Who's there?" he wondered.

He looked out in the distance, and noticed that there seemed to be torches. Using the force, he discovered that they holding a bunch of sharp weapons as well, and eventually he realized what they planned to do.

"Oh my force! Cannibals! Run for your life, and for your flesh!" he screamed.

Immediately, he woke up the others, who unfortunately had fallen asleep when there were bloodthirsty maniacs coming to kill them. He then warned them about the cannibals, who at this point were rapidly approaching.

Suffice to say, our heroes raced to get back to the shuttle (discovering Jar Jar Binks' body in the process). Unfortunately, Padme Amidala, Anakin Skywalker, and Obi-Wan Kenobi were all too slow and they were eaten by the ferocious cannibals, causing Qui-Gon Jinn to vomit in disgust.

"You sick little monkeys!" he bellowed as he ran.

Fortunately, he finally realized that he didn't need to run and he could simply defend himself using his lightsaber and the force, and he started cutting through the natives like butter, persisting until they were all dead.

"Hooray, the cannibals are all dead! Now to celebrate with popcorn and candy!" he squealed.

He then realized that was a bit out of character for him.

"OK, I think I just had a Jar Jar Binks moment…but never mind…I should probably resurrect my friends. I wonder if the Resurrection Book is going to be enough for what happened to them…"

He then realized during his bloodthirsty rampage, he accidentally sliced C-3PO's head off. His head was lying there in the ground, with the wires showing.

"Oh dear." he thought.

Thankfully, R2-D2 provided Qui-Gon Jinn with the Resurrection Book so that he could resurrect all of his friends. They vowed never to vacation in the jungle again…at least not on a planet that was filled with bloodthirsty natives.

"Good grief, I can still feel those sick psychopaths eating my flesh…it's a good thing they're dead now." Anakin Skywalker said.

"It is a good thing that I am not organic or they might have eaten me too." nodded C-3PO.

"Shut up C-3PO." retorted Padme Amidala.

Afterwards, our heroes decided to head back home, as they had enough vacation for the time being and wanted to do something else for a change. Oh, and they didn't want anything else eating their flesh.

_Well, this chapter was a bit darker and edgier, I suppose. Why you may ask? Because this time there were four character deaths (five if you include Jar Jar Binks). In other words, R2-D2 and Qui-Gon Jinn were actually the only survivors of this one._

_But thankfully the natives are dead now due to what Qui-Gon Jinn did to them all, so they won't have to worry about them again. Hopefully anyway._

_And the moral of this chapter is: don't eat human flesh. It's incredibly disgusting and will probably get you into the slammer if you try it._


	82. Rocket Launcher

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks 82

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks is going to die through a method that you might have seen in a certain video game series…well OK, maybe more than one video game series…but to me there's one particular video game series that comes to mind._

_He's going to die through a rocket launcher! Won't it be fun? Well, not for Jar Jar of course, but for everyone else it will be…_

_Let's join our heroes as they prepare to murder Jar Jar Binks through a rather explosive weapon that certainly shouldn't be played with…this is the killing method that you've probably been dying to see…which I suppose is the reason why I've saved it for late in the story._

**Chapter 82: Rocket Launcher**

"So, my apprentice and his girlfriend, are you ready to go to the gun store so that we can search for weapons to kill Jar Jar Binks with? There are always so many weapons we could buy there." asked Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"I hope that we can keep our criminal records clean…otherwise we might have a hard time buying things from there." noted Qui-Gon Jinn.

"I'm always ready to kill Jar Jar Binks…but haven't we already killed him using a bunch of different weapons?" asked Anakin Skywalker.

"Technically, most of those deaths you're talking about were done by a bloodthirsty horror icon." pointed out C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in fear, remembering the horrible things they always seemed to encounter nowadays. Who would they encounter next?

"Why don't we use a rocket launcher? I don't think we've used that yet. Then again, I suppose there are a lot of weapons we still haven't used yet…" suggested Padme Amidala.

"That's actually a pretty good idea. Let's blow him up, shall we?" agreed Anakin Skywalker.

And so our heroes hopped into their space shuttle and flew to the guns store so that they could buy a rocket launcher. On the way there, they stopped at an intergalactic McDonalds. Why you may ask? Our heroes wanted to purchase a happy meal there so that they could fill their bellies. Why you may ask? Because they didn't want to fight Jar Jar Binks on an empty stomach and wanted to eat some delicious fast food , so stop asking questions.

Unfortunately, our Gungan villain saw them leaving and got the feeling he knew what they had planned. And he wasn't going to allow it. He began to formulate a plan to defend himself, which was made a bit difficult due to his lack of brain.

"How am mesa gonna stop them from killing mesa?" he wondered.

Suddenly, he got an idea. And for some strange reason, a lightbulb appeared on his head.

"Where did dat lightbulb come from? Mesa didn't buy lightbulb. And mesa friends are at da store to buy things right now…Wait a minute! Mesa know what to do! Mesa barricade house so dat thesa can't get inside!" he thought.

And so he pulled out a bunch of wooden boards and started barricading the door and windows. Before long the entire house was covered with them. There was now no way for them to get in, or so he thought anyway.

"Yes! Mesa finally safe from mesa friends' wrath! Mesa friends will never kill mesa again! Mesa not gonna go to Gungan heaven dis time! Mesa gonna survive now! Mesa not gonna die! Hooray!" he thought.

At that particular moment, Anakin Skywalker and his friends were returning after spending a lot of money at the gun store. Qui-Gon Jinn was now armed with a rocket launcher, ready to fire it at the Gungan as soon as he saw him.

Problem was, their house was suddenly barricaded! Who wanted to keep them out? One thing was certain, they were going to have a hard time getting inside.

"Darn it, now how are we going to kill him! There's got to be a way…" screamed Padme Amidala.

"Maybe we could try to blast the door open? We do have a rocket launcher after all." wondered Anakin Skywalker.

For a moment our heroes considered that, but then they realized that they had only brought one rocket, meaning that if they tried that they wouldn't be able to kill Jar Jar Binks with it.

"I guess we'll have to go back to the store and get more rockets then." suggested C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in frustration. Their house just had to be barricaded right when they were planning to kill who was inside, and now they would have to spend time and energy going back to the store just so that they could get back to the house.

"Wait, did they barricade the chimney? I think we might be able to get in if they didn't..." asked Anakin Skywalker.

Sure enough, our heroes were able to climb to the roof and get through using the chimney, much like Santa Claus. Jar Jar Binks noticed them and immediately welcomed them, believing them to work for jolly Kris Kringle.

"Are yousa Santa's elves? Yay! Give mesa presents! Mesa been good boy this year! Mesa wanna action figure!" he demanded, ignoring the fact that it wasn't Christmas and that therefore Santa Claus and his elves shouldn't be paying him a visit.

"Here's your Christmas present, Jar Jar." retorted Qui-Gon Jinn.

Immediately, he fired the rocket launcher. Jar Jar Binks tried to get away from it, but the rocket was too fast and he was immediately blown to bits, spreading Gungan guts and blood all over the place.

"Looks like a job well done." stated Obi-Wan Kenobi, who then put away the rocket launcher.

Our heroes then set out to remove the barricades Jar Jar Binks had placed around the house so that they could get in and out. Unfortunately, C-3PO and R2-D2 were stupid and accidentally killed themselves using the nailgun he had used to barricade the house. They were subsequently resurrected along with Jar Jar Binks so that they could end this particular chapter.

_See, I told you that you would enjoy it. At least, I hoped you enjoyed it. I have to admit, this one was rather gruesome. And for some strange reason, Jar Jar Binks was prepared for our heroes and barricaded the house so that they couldn't get inside. This move was not enough to save him in the end, but it did prolong his death somewhat._

_Any more killing suggestions? I'm all ears. Of course, for some strange reason, some of you have actually sent me killing suggestions that I've already used. I suggest that you read the story before you actually start putting them in…or at the very least read the chapter titles so that you'll know which ones I already used._

_But I suppose that's not that much of a big deal…still, I'd like to see a killing method that I haven't actually used yet. That would be much appreciated._


	83. Evil Twin

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die a horrible death in a very ironic way…he will be slain by his own evil twin! How are our heroes going to kill him this way? The answer is through a rather elaborate machine…suffice to say our heroes are going to be paying a visit to a local laboratory…they always seem to have a bunch of fancy gadgets and gizmos…_

_So I suppose it would be appropriate if our heroes decided to put one of these to use…of course, their killing methods always seem to go wrong nowadays…let's hope that doesn't happen again…of course now that I said that things are almost certainly going to go wrong…ah well._

_Let's hurry up and kill Jar Jar Binks already, you're probably sick of my commentary as it is._

**Chapter 83: Evil Twin**

"Maybe we should get someone to help us kill Jar Jar Binks…he's starting to become harder to kill for some strange reason. I don't really see why he's been acting so suspicious of us lately." suggested Anakin Skywalker.

"Ah yes…is it just me or is he getting more intelligent every time we kill him? At this rate he's going to be some sort of supergenius…as hard as that sounds considering how dumb he used to be." agreed Padme Amidala.

"He is getting wise to our tricks. We need to formulate a new way to kill him, one that he won't see coming." spoke Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"But what method haven't we tried yet?" wondered Anakin.

"Maybe we could create an evil twin of him or something, and then use it to kill him." answered Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Alright, that sounds good. But how are we going to do that? I think we'll probably need some sort of state-of-the-art machine." asked Anakin Skywalker.

"I would recommend going to the local laboratory, they have lots of machines, some of which resemble myself." C-3PO stated.

R2-D2 beeped with excitement. Maybe he'd see his robot buddies R1-D1 and R3-D3.

"I dunno, those scientists might catch us messing with their equipment…and who knows, they might be crazy." warned Anakin Skywalker.

"On the other hand, I think that it might be worth the risks." contradicted Padme Amidala.

"Then it's settled. We'll sneak into the heavily guarded laboratory and use a cloning machine to create an evil doppelganger of Jar Jar Binks." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Unfortunately, Jar Jar Binks overheard them talking about a laboratory, and he became suspicious. As soon as they asked him if they wanted to go to the laboratory, he surprisingly said no.

"Yousa not gonna kill mesa with deadly laboratory equipment! Mesa knows what yousa up too!" he bellowed.

"Don't worry about it! We're not going to kill you Jar Jar…we just want to create a clone of you so that you'll have a playmate." answered Qui-Gon Jinn.

"If yousa say so. I wonder what mesa clone will be like!" agreed the Gungan.

And so our heroes went to the local lavatory…I mean laboratory, so that they could find a machine to create an evil version of Jar Jar Binks.

Soon enough, after sneaking past several FBI agents and several insane-looking scientists, they managed to find one. They set the dial to evil mode, and asked the Gungan to step in.

"Yousa sure about dis?" he asked.

He was then pushed inside by C-3PO. Soon enough he felt strange energy splitting his body.

"Ouchies! Dis really hurts! Why did yousa put mesa in here?" he asked.

Soon enough, the cloning process was complete, and he stepped out of the machine, coughing due to the intense smoke.

"Dat was waste of time! Nothin' happen! Mesa wanna go home!" he exclaimed.

Out of the smoke, he was unexpectedly grabbed around the collar by another Gungan, who immediately snapped his neck in two. Unsurprisingly, Jar Jar Binks was instantly killed by this grisly act.

The smoke then disappeared, revealing the evil version of our least favorite Gungan. He resembled Jar Jar Binks heavily, except for the fact that he was black as soot and that he was wearing a red uniform.

"Yes! We've done it! Jar Jar Binks is dead! Again! Let's go throw a party!" Anakin celebrated.

Suddenly, Evil Jar Jar Binks pulled out a red lightsaber…and swung it towards our teenage hero's neck, slicing it in one fell swoop.

"Noooo!" Padme screamed.

Evil Jar Jar Binks then killed our heroine as well, by stabbing her in the chest.

"You monster! You won't get away with this!" bellowed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Qui-Gon Jinn pulled out his weapon of choice, and engaged in a lightsaber duel with Evil Jar Jar Binks. Unfortunately, it didn't last too long, as he was simply too strong. Eventually, he was sliced in half.

"Mwahahahahaha! Yousa losers are no match for mesa!" laughed the evil Gungan.

"Run for your life!" screamed C-3PO.

And so our three surviving heroes began trying to leave the laboratory. They were stopped a few times by the FBI…but they ended up being chopped in half by the demented Evil Jar Jar Binks.

Our heroes then locked the entrance to the laboratory, and began thinking of a plan to kill the pure evil Gungan.

"In retrospect, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I mean, Jar Jar Binks was already evil…" pointed out Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"I calculate that Evil Jar Jar Binks may be one of the most evil aliens in history." agreed C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped sarcastically. What did it matter? They were already doomed!

Suddenly, they heard a cutting noise. Apparently, Evil Jar Jar Binks was slicing down the door with his lightsaber.

Once again, C-3PO ordered them to run away screaming at the top of their lungs, but it was already too late.

The evil version of Jar Jar Binks came out of the laboratory, and began laughing maniacally.

"Mesa gonna kill yousa all! Yousa are all gonna die! Mesa will den drink yousa blood! Mesa love da taste of blood! Mesa also eat yousa intestines! Intestines taste like spaghetti! Hahahahaha!" he laughed.

Suddenly, Evil Jar Jar Binks lost his balance due to his "good" counterpart's clumsiness, and he fell onto the ground. In the process, his red lightsaber flew out of his hands and into the air…and immediately impaled him through his backside.

"Noooo!" he screamed. Blood immediately began leaking out of him. He tried licking the blood to get it back inside of him, but it didn't work. He died shortly afterward.

"Thank the force for Jar Jar's clumsiness…I'm never creating an evil version of Jar Jar Binks again after what he did to my comrades." thought Obi-Wan Kenobi.

As usual, Obi-Wan Kenobi resurrected his friends using the Book of Resurrection, wishing to himself that they wouldn't end up dying so much, as using the book was becoming quite a pain, and he wanted to go back home and have a nice relaxing nap.

Unsurprisingly, Anakin, Padme, and Qui-Gon had been horrified by the evil version of Jar Jar Binks as well.

"Who would have thought that we'd create such a horrible monster?" questioned Anakin Skywalker.

"He was sick and twisted…a repulsive creature to say the very least." concurred Padme Amidala.

"Next time, we shouldn't play with science." said Qui-Gon Jinn.

And so our heroes left the laboratory…they wouldn't be coming back any time soon.

Unbeknownst to our heroes however, the mad scientists discovered Evil Jar Jar Binks' body.

"Hmm, it seems that he's dead…no matter! We can rebuild him! We have the technology! We'll make him stronger, faster, and smarter! We'll make him superior in every way! He shall be known as Darth Jar Jar Binks!" they plotted.

And so the mad scientists went to work on creating a monster that would replace Emperor Palpatine on his demonic throne. In a matter of delicious irony, he would rapidly turn on the mad scientists and kill them…but that was another story.

_So, do you guys want Evil Jar Jar Binks to return? Of course, seeing though you hate the regular Jar Jar Binks so much you probably think two Jar Jars is too many…but he's there if you want him to come back._

_Of course, if he does come back, there's probably going to be a lot more bloodshed considering how horrible he is. It's not going to be pretty, I can tell you that. But if you still want him to return…_

_Either way, I don't think I'll be bringing him back just yet…I've got another death planned for Jar Jar Binks at the moment…but did you appreciate the concept of an evil Jar Jar Binks?_

_Feel free to leave me a few reviews…_


	84. Black Hole

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks is going to get sucked into a black hole…not much for him, is it? He's going to end up lost forever…at least until our heroes resurrect him using the Book of Resurrection so that they can kill him again. But it's still not going to be a pleasant experience, oh no! This black hole is definitely lethal and not something you'd ever want to get swallowed in._

_Which is exactly the reason why we're going to use it on Jar Jar Binks today. It's certainly going to be a horrible experience for Jar Jar Binks, I can tell you that much._

**Chapter 84: Black Hole**

For his next execution, our heroes decided to shove Jar Jar Binks into a black hole so that he would be lost forever in the soul-sucking darkness. As always, they were feeling quite bloodthirsty, and wanted him dead as soon as possible. As such, they immediately began to look for him so that they could put their plan in action.

Problem was, they couldn't find him anywhere no matter where they looked. He had mysteriously disappeared! Had he done something stupid and ejected himself from the ship? Or was he trying to hide from them? Either way, it looked like killing him was going to be more difficult than they had thought.

"Come on Jar Jar Binks! Where are you? There's no use hiding from us. One way or another, we're going to find you." stated Anakin Skywalker.

"He's got to be around here somewhere." thought Padme Amidala. "I mean, how big can this space shuttle be? Surely he wouldn't have that many hiding spots."

"Perhaps you should use your scanner, C-3PO? I believe that you have one that you can use to help us find him." suggested Obi-Wan Kenobi.

C-3PO nodded, and he began scanning the area to see if Jar Jar Binks was around the space shuttle. Unfortunately, his scanner was a bit buggy today. He had recalled bumping into the obnoxious little Gungan earlier, and wondered if it had something to do with it.

"Did he sabotage my scanner so that he couldn't find me? If so, this might be a problem. He keeps on getting harder to kill." wondered C-3PO.

Thankfully, R2-D2's scanner was perfectly intact (as the Gungan had forgot about his particular scanner), and he was able to detect Jar Jar Binks easily. As it turns out, he was in fact hiding from them. Unfortunately, he spotted them.

"Yousa not gonna kill me this time! Mesa gonna get away! Mesa gonna use escape pod to get back to planet!" he screamed. Immediately, he raced towards the nearest escape pod.

"Stop him!" demanded Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Our heroes were able to stop Jar Jar Binks from escaping not a moment too soon, as by the time they had grabbed him he had already opened his method of escape and was about to step in.

"Noooo! Mesa was so close! Mesa was gonna be safe! Curse yousa losers! Mesa gonna get even with yousa one day!" he screamed.

"Right, of course you're going to get revenge on us one time. And then we're going to regret the times we ever killed you." laughed Qui-Gon Jinn.

Afterwards, our heroes dragged their hostage over to the airlock.

"Funny, this feels familiar. Wasn't this the first way I killed him?" wondered Anakin Skywalker.

"It was? Well, I suppose this is going to be a little different this time." agreed Padme Amidala.

"Hurry up! I can't hold onto his arms much longer!" demanded Qui-Gon Jinn.

As it turns out, he was trying really hard to get out of his muscular grip.

"Nooo! Mesa not wanna go into black hole! Black holes suck! Mesa don't wanna die! Please do not kill mesa!" he screamed.

Our heroes naturally ignored Jar Jar Binks's pleas of mercy, and they then opened the airlock and sent him flying into the black hole.

"Nooooo! Mesa being swallowed in! Curse yousa twisted freaks! Mesa gonna get you for dis! Mesa will return from the dead!" he bellowed.

Unfortunately, while they were executing Jar Jar Binks, they forgot one thing.

"Aargh!" they all screamed. The black hole was pulling them in!

Our heroes tried to hold on, but only Anakin Skywalker, C-3PO, and R2-D2 had a strong enough grip. The others were swallowed in to their doom.

"Noooooo!" bellowed the Jedi apprentice.

Thankfully, he was able to get back to his room, where he then used the Book of Resurrection to bring back all of his friends (and his sworn enemy Jar Jar), who appeared out of thin air.

"That was scary." thought Padme Amidala.

"I don't ever want to do that ever again." answered Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"At least we managed to kill Jar Jar Binks again." agreed Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Speaking of which, where he is now?" asked Anakin Skywalker. "He just vanished again."

_Meanwhile…_

Jar Jar Binks was doing some weight-lifting to make himself stronger. He certainly didn't want his friends to start killing him again, so he decided that maybe if he had bigger muscles it would be more difficult for them to do so.

"Mesa gonna make dem regret everyfing thosa losers have done to mesa! Mesa friends are gonna pay!" he screamed.

And so he continued to lift the weights, hoping that he would become strong enough to defend himself from his horrible enemies.

_This is a bit of a cliffhanger, isn't it? Jar Jar Binks continues to make it more difficult for his friends to kill him, as he begins to realize their true intentions. It was only a matter of time before he began to catch on to their horrible tactics. After all, it is pretty much the same thing every time._

_Will his efforts pay off? Will his friends be unable to kill him? And will this story come to a premature end? You'll have to wait and see…but until then you can leave me some reviews like you've always done. After all, it is pretty much always appreciated. Unless of course you want to flame me for some reason…everyone hates that, doesn't they? Makes me wonder why people do it in the first place._

_So don't tell me to close this fic down…it will probably make a lot of people disappointed. And I'll probably file a report…unless you're one of those obnoxious guests of course. If only can ban IPs…_

_But that's enough of that. I hope you're looking for the next chapter! Now go out there and have some fun! Killing Jar Jar Binks of course!_


	85. Blender

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Guess what guys? Jar Jar Binks is going to die yet another gruesome death…of course you should know this already…but in this case he is going to die by being blended…how is he going to get blended? How else? Our heroes are going to blend him using a giant blender! Expect a lot of blood…and of course gore for that matter._

_Hopefully I won't need to change the rating of this story to M, I don't think the story's violent enough for that but I still don't want this story to be too extreme…but then again you do like seeing Jar Jar Binks die so it probably wouldn't matter to you._

_Let's watch Jar Jar Binks get what's coming to him once again._

**Chapter 85: Blender**

For the next execution of Jar Jar Binks, our heroes decided to visit the Museum Of Abnormally Large Things. They began to wonder why they hadn't visited this place before, as it was filled with things that they could use to kill him, such as giant knives, giant anvils, giant flowerpots, giant cactus, giant catapult, you name it.

Despite all the options, they unanimously decided on the giant blender, due to the fact it was a rather creative and a rather gruesome way to murder Jar Jar Binks.

The only problem was that it was filled with police officers and several security cameras. Apparently, they didn't want anybody to steal from the museum, or let any of the dangerous objects fall into the wrong hands.

"How are we going to get past them?" wondered Anakin Skywalker. There had to be a way they could use to get rid of the police officers and the security cameras so that they would be free to do whatever they pleased, but just how were they going to get past all of that?

Curious, he decided to read from the Book of Resurrection to see if there was anything they could use. Sure enough, there was.

"The number of useful spells in this book never ceases to astound me." stated Obi-Wan Kenobi.

R2-D2 beeped in agreement. When would they ever run out of spells to use?

Sure enough, there was a spell they could use to prevent them from getting caught doing these horrible things. Casting the spell, the police officers immediately decided to leave so that they could get a coffee break along with some free doughnuts, because coffee and donuts were so delicious.

At the same time, the security cameras immediately shut down, allowing our heroes to kill Jar Jar Binks without fear of interruption.

Suddenly, our heroes noticed that he no longer seemed to be with them. They looked out the window and noticed that their space shuttle was missing, and realized what had happened.

"Curses! He's escaped! And just when we were about to kill him too! That jerk!" screamed Padme Amidala.

"He's probably gone home already. Fortunately, there's also a teleporting spell that we can use in the Book of Resurrection." informed Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Why didn't we use that spell before?" wondered Obi-Wan Kenobi. Then again, considering how many spells that were in the book, it wasn't too surprising that they had a hard time finding a specific one. Granted, they did include a table of contents, but it still would have been helpful to list the spells in alphabetical order.

As it turns out, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization were in fact planning to create a second version of the book that would include that along with a bunch of new spells that would help people murder Jar Jar Binks, but that was a story for another time.

Our heroes immediately teleported to their house (which in case it wasn't obvious, was like no other place in the galaxy), but Jar Jar Binks was hiding again. Where was he now?

"He's got to be around here somewhere." stated Anakin Skywalker.

Curious, R2-D2 started to scan the house, but strangely enough he couldn't find anything. He had vanished without a trace!

"Darn it! Where is he!" exclaimed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Suddenly, they noticed a letter on the ground and immediately they read it.

_Dear Mesa Friends,_

_Due to da fact that yousa haven't been treating me nice, mesa gonna run away wherea yousa will never find mesa! I'm gonna go to Hollywood and there's nothin' yousa can do about it! See yousa guys on da twelveth of never!_

_Sincerely,_

_Jar Jar Binks_

"Darn it, he's one step ahead of us again! At this rate we'll never catch him!" bellowed Padme Amidala.

"I believe that he's currently at the airport trying to get on a flight. We have to stop him before he annoys any more people." warned C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in agreement. They had to find him before he did something stupid, like trying to fly the plane without a pilot's license and crashing it into a building.

Our heroes then went to the intergalactic airport, where they saw Jar Jar Binks carrying a suitcase.

"Where do you wish to go?" asked the lady at the counter.

"Mesa wanna go to Hollywood! Mesa wanna be famous! And don't bother mesa with all da security crud! It's completea pointless!" Jar Jar Binks bellowed.

"We're sorry, sir, but it's part of the standard procedure. If you want to fly one of the planes, you're going to have to go through with security." she explained.

"Airport security sucks! Mesa can't travel with all dis bogus metal detectors and police officers!" he bellowed.

Suddenly, he was grabbed from behind by Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Let mesa go! Mesa have plane to catch! Dat plane is gonna leave in fifteen minutes!" he screamed.

Qui-Gon ignored Jar Jar Binks, and drove him back to the Museum of Abnormally Large Things. They then went back inside the building and continued their plan.

"You ready everyone?" asked Qui-Gon Jinn.

"We've been waiting for ages!" answered Padme Amidala.

Our heroes then shoved Jar Jar Binks into the giant blender. Immediately he started screaming and trying to get out of the blender, although it ultimately proved futile.

"Noooo! Not again! Curse yousa scoundrels! Mesa hate spinning!" bellowed Jar Jar Binks.

Anakin Skywalker then turned on the blender, causing the alien to become chunky Gungan salsa.

"Should we eat it?" questioned Padme Amidala.

"I dunno. It actually looks kind of tasty." replied Anakin Skywalker.

Curious, he decided to take the abnormally large straw (which ironically was right next to the giant blender), and took a few sips. The taste surprised him.

"Dang that's good!" bellowed the Jedi apprentice.

Anakin and his friends then began drinking the chunky Gungan salsa using some more abnormally large straws (why they had more than one, I'm not sure myself), and began drinking the delicious smoothie that they made out of the Gungan. It was actually rather disgusting, but considered how much they hated Jar Jar Binks, they really weren't in the mood to care.

After they had their delicious drink that tasted of cherries, our heroes then brought back Jar Jar using the Book of Resurrection so that they could kill him once again using another enormous object.

"Which one should we use this time?" asked Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Let's just say that I would really like Jar Jar Binks to blow away." answered Anakin Skywalker.

_What giant object is Anakin Skywalker going to murder Jar Jar Binks with this time? He already gave us a hint, so you should probably be able to figure it out. But if not it shouldn't be too much of a big deal. You should know this already, but it certainly isn't going to be pretty, oh no. In fact, our least favorite Gungan is going to be torn to shreds, I can tell you that much._

_What's this? It seems I've given you another hint as to how the Gungan is going to end up. Well, I suppose that you should have figured it by now. But either way I hope you're going to enjoy the next chapter, which should hopefully be coming up pretty soon, since you love this story so much._

_So please feel free to leave me a review like always. After all, I do like receiving killing suggestions. Of course, considering that this story is drawing to a close I won't be able to use too many of them…but it's still an option if you wanna do it. So until next time. Toodles!_


	86. Giant Fan

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, our heroes are going to murder Jar Jar Binks once more…how you ask? With a giant fan! Won't that be fun? Of course, you might have guessed that already because I gave you a hint or two. But either way, it's going to be a bloodbath for Jar Jar, and he's going to die horribly. Problem is, he just keeps on getting harder to kill. Last time he tried to get away from them…and he was smart enough to try to use the airport._

_This plan of his of course did not succeed, but he's starting to become harder to kill nonetheless. At this rate our heroes won't be able to kill him…they had better reach one hundred and one kills, and fast._

**Chapter 86: Giant Fan**

"There sure are a bunch of deadly objects in the museum." stated Anakin Skywalker.

"Yes, makes me wonder why they built this place in the first place…could they secretly be Jar Jar Binks haters like ourselves? It's some food for thought." agreed Padme Amidala.

"I recall seeing a giant fan among the museum objects…I believe that we may be able to use it on Jar Jar Binks, my apprentice and his girlfriend." noted Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Sounds like a plan!" agreed Qui-Gon Jinn.

Our heroes returned to the Museum of Abnormally Large Things, only to discover that they had unfortunately increased their security. There were now more security cameras and more police officers around the museum well. In other words, it looked as if they were going to have a harder time killing Jar Jar Binks.

Our heroes tried using the spell they had done earlier, but unfortunately it didn't make all of the police officers and security cameras leave. It was still too risky to try murdering the Gungan again, lest they end up in jail.

"How are we going to get rid of them now?" asked Anakin Skywalker.

"Recast the spell?" inquired Padme Amidala.

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea to be honest. We'll probably get executed for witchcraft if we keep on casting spells left and right." warned Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Ah yes, execution for witchcraft has occurred for quite some time." agreed C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in fear. Was he going to become scrap metal for using dark magic? Then again, he hadn't actually read the spell himself…but considering the kangaroo court withcraft trials were what did that matter?

"I think that we'll need a distraction of some kind. But what can we use to make them stop paying attention?" suggested Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Soon enough, R2-D2 approached the police officers and started beeping cutely at them. Suffice to say, it immediately attracted their attention.

"That's adorable…" thought the cops, clearly unaware of what he was planning.

He then lured them out of the museum with promises of free donuts and coffee, which worked surprisingly well.

"Seems that the police force the museum has is surprisingly incompetent." thought Anakin Skywalker. "Then again, why should we question something that we like?"

Now that the police officers were out of the way, all that was left were the cameras. Our heroes smashed as many of them as they could find, until none of them were left. They were now officially all clear.

But unfortunately, Jar Jar Binks had once again disappeared.

"Not again!" screamed Padme Amidala.

Immediately, our heroes checked the airport to see if he was trying to escape there. However this time, he wasn't.

Instead, they found another taunting letter from Jar Jar Binks on one of the chairs.

_Dear Yousa Stupid Losers,_

_Mesa bet yousa were expecting mesa to be at airport, didn't yousa? Well mesa hated airport security and worried mesa mighta get airsick, so now mesa gonna take train ride! Mesa will be seeing yousa in California, where yousa will not be killing mesa! Mwahahaha! Yousa cannot stop mesa!_

_Sincerely,_

_Jar Jar Binks_

"Dang it! It looks like he's going to the train station now." said Anakin Skywalker.

"I guess that means we're going to have to stop him before he boards the train." answered Padme Amidala.

"Then we've got no time to lose! To the space shuttle!" exclaimed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Our heroes did as Obi-Wan said, boarding the space shuttle and driving it to the train station so that Jar Jar Binks's couldn't get away. Unfortunately, by the time they got there, he was already boarding.

"So long yousa losers!" laughed Jar Jar Binks.

Was it too late to stop the Gungan?

"We have to stop the train!" bellowed Qui-Gon Jinn.

Our heroes then drove the space shuttle to the railroad tracks, and started sabotaging them.

"I hope this stops him." thought Anakin Skywalker.

_Meanwhile inside the train…_

Jar Jar Binks chuckled to himself. His plan had worked! Now he wouldn't have to worry about his friends ever going to kill him again! He was instead going to relax at a nice California resort for a vacation. Of course, he would eventually run out of money and have to go back home, but he would cross that bridge when he came to it.

Suddenly, the train came to a screeching halt, and he began to wonder what was going on.

"Why is da train stopping? Mesa wanna leave! Maybe mesa should talk to da conductor." he thought.

Suddenly, Qui-Gon Jinn and his friends boarded the train and abducted Jar Jar Binks, causing all of the other passengers to wonder what was going on.

They then drove him back to the museum, but all the while, he was kicking and screaming.

"Nooo! Yousa not gonna kill me again! Mesa tired of dying! Dying sucks!" he screeched.

"Yeah yeah yeah, whatever." replied Anakin Skywalker rather sarcastically.

Our heroes then went back to the museum, where they prepared to murder Jar Jar Binks using a giant fan.

"Oh please no!" he screamed.

Our heroes then activated the giant fan by pressing a button on its side, and not a moment too soon, as Jar Jar Binks bit into Qui-Gon Jinn's arm and forced him to let go.

Unfortunately, they once again forgot something important.

"Aargh! We're getting swallowed in!" screamed Anakin Skywalker.

"Anakin, I've always loved you!" shouted Padme Amidala.

"Farewell, my apprentice!" yelled Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"That fan sure is dangerous." C-3PO stated the obvious.

"At least mesa will get resurrected…" thought Jar Jar Binks.

They were then cut into pieces by the powerful fan, which were then scattered across the entire museum. Qui-Gon Jinn vomited in disgust. Thankfully, the fan automatically turned off shortly afterwards.

"Ugh…and to think I was the only survivor." he thought.

All of a sudden, R2-D2 went up to him, causing him to jump.

"You scared me! Oh that's right. We sent you to distract the police officers…how did that turn out?" he asked.

R2-D2 then beeped that they were getting wasted at a bar.

After using the Resurrection Book to reassemble the pieces of his dead friends, our heroes were once again ready for action. How would they kill Jar Jar Binks next?

_And Jar Jar Binks was just cut into confetti by a killer fan…if only that fan wasn't moving so fast…that way he might have survived. But it was a killing machine…so he ended up dying._

_Any suggestions on what our heroes should use from the Museum of Abnormally Large Things? There's a ton of things they can use…_

_Make sure to check the chapters to see if I've already used a killing method before suggesting it, will you? It hasn't happened very often but I'd still like you to pay attention. Of course, I sometimes have problems paying attention myself but anyways…once again feel free to review. See you another time in another galaxy or another universe or another world somewhere._


	87. Deadly Robot

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, our heroes are going to encounter yet another famous horror icon…if they're lucky, it might actually be their last one. But knowing their luck, this might not be the case. Either way, Jar Jar Binks is still going to die. Interestingly enough, the Terminator actually became a good guy in the second movie…why you ask? Well, apparently they reprogrammed him or something. It's kind of weird._

_But for the time being, he's evil and he's going to show Jar Jar Binks and his "friends" no ounce of mercy, just the way you like it. I hope you like that I'm cracking down on this story…because if I'm lucky (or persistent enough), I might actually be able to finish them by the end of Febuary…or it might not even take that long. Then again, the chapters in this story aren't particularly long due to how simple they are…but I hope you'll enjoy this one nonetheless._

**Chapter 87: Deadly Robot**

Our heroes were happily relaxing this fine morning on a hot, sunny day. Today was the day they had decided to take a break from killing Jar Jar Binks, curiously enough. What's that? Why were they taking a break from killing the Gungan? Let's just see he was becoming progressively harder to kill lately and our heroes to give him a break for a change.

However, the same cannot be said for a robot that had been sent from the future to stop Jar Jar Binks from taking over the world. As it turns out, in some horrible alternate future, the obnoxious Gungan had become an all-powerful sith overlord known as Darth Darth Binks that ruled over everything that breathed. Suffice to say it wasn't a very pleasant place.

Time and time again had people tried to stop him, but every time that happened, they all ended up dying gruesomely one way or another. Thankfully, there was always hope…in this case, it was the form of an android, who had been created to go back in time and kill the past Jar Jar Binks so that Darth Darth Binks would cease to exist and therefore not take over the galaxy, creating a beneficial time paradox. Confused?

Long story short, the robot would stop at nothing to kill Jar Jar Binks, and he had powerful tools that he could use to do so easily. Regardles of what he did, he had nowhere to hide, and nowhere to run. Anything that he did to try to defend himself would ultimately prove futile. And if he tried attacking him, it probably wouldn't work too well considered he was secretly made of a powerful titanium alloy. To top it all off, he wasn't even aware of his presence. Unfortunately, neither did his so-called friends, as they were about to discover shortly.

The android began scanning the planet to see if he could locate any sign of the obnoxious Gungan that would later screw over his creators' solar system. Sure enough, he managed to locate him using his heat signature, and immediately he sprang into action.

"Hasta la vista, baby!" he bellowed.

He then used his built-in jetpack to fly towards the Gungan and his friends. However, he wasn't completely undetected.

"I sense a disturbance in the force…a big disturbance." said Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"That's never good." answered Anakin Skywalker, who always knew that whenever Obi-Wan said that trouble was nowhere close behind.

"Is it another horror icon? We've encountered a lot of them…but who's left?" questioned Padme Amidala.

On cue, the deadly android flew just a few feet away from them. His red eyes began to glow ominously, although this wasn't too noticeable due to the shades the android was wearing for some particular reason.

"Can we help you? You seem to be looking for somebody." asked C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in amazement. While he was always hanging out with a bunch of other robots, he hadn't seen one that looked human before. Such was the wonders of technology.

"I'm looking for the one known as Jar Jar Binks." answered the robot.

"Funny, you look just like Arnold Scwarzenegger." pointed out Padme.

"Very funny. Now then, do you know where he is?" retorted the killing machine.

"Oh him? He's right over there." answered Anakin.

As it turns out, he was busy playing with his own abnormally large tongue, unaware of what was about to happen to him…at least until it was too late.

Suddenly, he noticed the robot pointing a rather large rocket launcher at him, and realized what he planned to do.

"Oh snap! Mesa better run! Mesa always hated killer robots…" he screeched.

Unfortunately, said rocket launcher was heat-seeking, so he wasn't able to escape from the rocket and he was blown to smithereens.

"What a nice robot." thought Obi-Wan Kenobi, glad that he had murdered Jar Jar Binks for them today.

Suddenly, the robot began to malfunction due to its rather cruddy design (let's just say that it was a prototype), causing it to go crazy and begin to want to kill Anakin Skywalker and his friends.

"Hasta la vista, jedi!" screamed the now incredibly insane robot, who pulled out a minigun and began shooting our heroes.

"Chewbecca's poop! Run for it!" swore Anakin Skywalker.

Our heroes tried to run away from the Terminator, but it didn't work that well, as he had many weapons that he could use on our heroes even from a far distance, such as his shotgun (which he used to blow Anakin's head off), his laser cannon (which used to vaporize ObI-Wan Kenobi), his plasma beam (which he used to reduce Qui-Gon Jinn to ash), and his chainsaw (which he used to slice R2-D2 to scrap metal).

All that was left now is Padme Amidala and C-3PO, who had been cornered by the now insane robot.

Fortunately for them, the robot had a very cheap battery due to the fact that the creators wanted to save money, so it shut down shortly afterwards. Padme let out a sigh of relief.

"Funny, for a moment I thought we were done for, but it's really weird. Why did that robot shut down all of a sudden?" thought Padme.

C-3PO shrugged.

Padme Amidala then resurrected Jar Jar Binks and all of her dead friends using the Book of Resurrection so that they could try to kill the Gungan again, assuming another deadly robot didn't come from the future to do the job for them.

_Meanwhile in the bad future…_

The creator of the robot began to wonder why the future wasn't changing. Thanks to a miniature camera he installed in the cyborg, he saw it murder Jar Jar Binks…so why hadn't the bad future changed?

Suddenly, he realized that he had forgotten something…the Book of Resurrection our heroes had used to bring him back from the dead time and time again.

"Noooo!" screeched the robot's creator.

_Oh dear, maybe our heroes shouldn't have resurrected Jar Jar Binks…now the bad future is going to still happen and our Gungan enemy is going to become an evil dictator…_

_At least, that's if our heroes don't kill Jar Jar Binks for good. They actually only have several deaths left to go before they can call it quits, but just what will happen until then? He does keep getting harder to kill after all. Will things take a turn for the worse?_

_You'll have to find out in the next chapter…of 101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks!_


	88. Cooked for Dinner

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_What's this? It seems that this killing method is going to be one that you've all been dying to see. Why you ask? Because Jar Jar Binks is going to die by being roasted in the oven…mm-hmm…it's certainly not to be a fun experience, for him. Oh no._

_Problem is, he's going to get suspicious of his friends and family and realize what they have planned. Once again, he'll try to escape from his fate…will he actually succeed this time? Probably not considering the title of this story, but at least it will be suspenseful._

_Now then, I'm going to teach you how to cook Jar Jar Binks to make a delicious dinner…are you feeling hungry? Then again, you probably don't want to eat him because you hate him so much…but who knows? Some of you might actually enjoy the taste…_

_Either way, our heroes aren't going to be hungry tonight, no sirree. Let's get it in!_

**Chapter 88: Cooked For Dinner**

And so our heroes once again decided to pay a visit to the Museum of Abnormally Large Things. Problem is, there was even more security than before. There were even military soldiers inside the museum. Something told them they would end up being shot if they tried anything funny.

"Wow. They seem to be pretty serious about guarding this place from thieves…" thought Anakin Skywalker.

"They won't stop increasing their security! What are we going to do!" stated Padme Amidala.

Once again, they tried using their spell to remove the security, but it didn't work too well, and the police officers and military began to become suspicious.

Suddenly, they decided to see if there was a brainwashing spell in the book. Sure enough, there was. Using the spell, they made the police and military turn on each other…and eventually, they wiped each other out.

"Why didn't we think of this before?" asked Padme Amidala.

"Something tells me that people are going to get suspicious when they see the dead bodies. Let's destroy the cameras so that we can destroy the evidence." suggested Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Our heroes did as Obi-Wan Kenobi requested. However, it wasn't easy this time as there were a ton of cameras all around the museum. Once again, the museum curator was being ridiculous about security.

"Funny enough, I'd actually like to meet that guy and ask him why he values security so much. I'm not sure if many people would want these things to be honest. Well, aside from us that is, of course." Answered Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Have you seen Jar Jar Binks?" asked C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in frustration. How many times were they going to have to try to catch him?

Curious, they decided to check the train station if he was there…but sure enough he wasn't. Instead, there was yet another taunting letter.

_Dear My So-Called Friends,_

_Guess what! Mesa no longer using train station either! Mesa learned lesson after yousa sabotaged train tracks! Mesa not making dat mistake again! No sirree! Mesa gonna use boat and head to another continent! Good luck trying to find mesa now!_

_Sincerely,_

_Jar Jar Binks, Your Sworn Nemesis_

_P.S.: Feel free to leave mesa cookies! Mesa love cookies!_

"He just keeps on becoming more and more cunning." thought Anakin Skywalker.

"Quick! We need to head to the port before he escapes!" warned Qui-Gon Jinn.

Unfortunately, by the time they got there, the boat had already taken off, and Jar Jar Binks was already escaping. Once again, he left another taunting letter.

_Dear Yousa Hopeless Losers,_

_Guess what! Yousa guys are too late to stop mesa this time! Mesa knew boatride was good idea! Besides, mesa love water! Mesa never liked hot climates…so mesa heading to Greenland! Have fun never seeing mesa again!_

_Sincerely,_

_Jar Jar Binks, Whose Always One Step Ahead Of Yousa_

"Now how are we going to catch him?" Anakin Skywalker asked.

"I guess we should check the Book of Resurrection for a teleportation spell." answered Padme Amidala.

Sure enough, there was in fact a teleporting spell they could use to catch Jar Jar Binks. They decided to use it to teleport to Greenland…suffice to say it was rather cold there.

"Now all we have to do is wait for Jar Jar Binks." stated C-3PO.

"D-Do we r-really have to w-w-wait for him in t-this cold w-w-weather?" stuttered Anakin Skywalker.

A few hours later, the boat finally arrived, and the Gungan immediately stepped out.

"Yes! Finally! Mesa is safe from his friends!" he exclaimed.

Suddenly, he saw that there were waiting for him.

"Oh no! Mesa friends found mesa! Mesa need to run! Aahh!" he screamed.

Unfortunately, his friends were too quick, and once again he found himself grabbed.

"Nooo! Mesa was so close! Dis isn't fair at all! Let mesa go!" he screeched.

"How should we kill him this time?" asked C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in thought.

"L-let's j-j-just get out of h-h-here! I'm f-f-freezing!" Anakin Skywalker continued to stutter.

Obi-Wan Kenobi then recalled seeing a giant oven among the Museum of Abnormally Large Things, and he got an idea how to kill Jar Jar Binks.

"Alright, my apprentice, we'll head back to the museum so that you won't freeze to death." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"T-thank you." nodded Anakin Skywalker.

Our heroes then teleported back to the museum and took Jar Jar Binks towards the oven, but unfortunately he realized what they had planned and he bit Qui-Gon Jinn in the arm.

"Yeowch!" screamed Qui-Gon Jinn. Why did his teeth have to be so unusually sharp?

The Gungan then tried to run away again, but Padme Amidala pulled out a pistol and shot him in the leg.

"Ouchies! Mesa leg!" he screamed.

He then tried hopping away on his remaining leg, but Padme shot him again, causing him to collapse on the ground.

"Ouchies! Mesa other leg!" he bellowed.

Our heroes then resumed dragging him to the oven…opening up the door, they tossed him inside and began trying to cook him.

"How do we turn this on?" inquired Anakin Skywalker.

"Just press the button, my apprentice." explained Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Our heroes then activated the oven, causing flames to appear and for the Gungan to be roasted a crispy golden brown.

"Yeowch! Being cooked hurts! Why do yousa guys have to kill mesa this way? Yousa guys are sick! I hope yousa guys die in a fire!" he screeched as he was cooked alive.

Afterwards, our heroes opened the oven and took out Jar Jar Binks's corpse. They then pulled out some silverware and began eating him, because he was delicious.

"We should do this more often." suggested Qui-Gon Jinn.

R2-D2 beeped in agreement.

After finishing their supper, our heroes used the Book of Resurrection to resurrect Jar Jar Binks so that they can kill him once again.

"I'm not sure if we should use this museum again, the staff is overly obsessed with security. At this rate we won't be able to use it at all." warned Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Shame." thought Anakin.

_And our heroes have cooked Jar Jar Binks for dinner…what a gruesome way to go, eh? Shame that we only have several more deaths to go._

_But I'll try to make these deaths intense…because that's something you all seem to enjoy. So expect another horrible death in the next chapter, which if I'm correct should be coming very soon…of course I have been updating a lot lately so that I can wrap this story up…_

_Do you think I should slow down? Or do you think I should keep on counting to one hundred and one? Either way, this story should hopefully be finished soon…_

_So, you all have fun now._


	89. Nuclear Waste

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks is going to die from nuclear waste; I got a suggestion for it so I figured why not try it out. As usual, it's going to be rather messy, as you seem to be quite fond of messy deaths judging from how many reviews I've been getting lately._

_Oh, and as you know, our heroes are going to get abducted by the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization at this end of this chapter…so you'll be hearing from them shortly. After all, they do kill him personally every ten chapters or so. Of course, considering this pattern, it's going to be the second-to-last time they actually kill him, unfortunately._

_Believe me, I'm going to end the last Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization chapter with a big bang…I can tell you that much._

**Chapter 89: Nuclear Waste**

"Can you tell me why you're taking us to a power plant this time, master?" asked Anakin Skywalker.

"I don't really see how we could use this place as an execution ground for Jar Jar." agreed Padme Amidala.

"Let's just say that they have radioactive chemicals they keep in a quarantined area so that nobody ends up being mutated." answered Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"In this case, we're probably going to have to sneak in." agreed Qui-Gon Jinn.

And so our heroes began coming up with a plan to do so…they decided to do so by using a cardboard box they found outside the power plant.

"This is never going to work." thought Anakin Skywalker.

But somehow, this did in fact work, and the security guards didn't get too suspicious.

"I think that box is moving." stated one of the security guards, who wondered if he was seeing things from being so close to the radioactive waste.

"It's probably just your imagination. It's not like it can grow legs, you know." answered the other security guard.

"Right, of course not." replied the curious security guard.

Our heroes then went to where the nuclear waste was…problem was, it was surrounded by a rather large fence…and it was covered with razor wire!

"I don't believe that we should try climbing that." warned C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in agreement. But if they couldn't climb the fence, how were they going to get to the other side so that they could get the nuclear waste?

All of a sudden, Jar Jar Binks came by, wondering what was going on.

"Funny, shouldn't yousa have killed mesa by now? Mesa wonder what yousa guys are up to. Would yousa guys hurry up? Mesa getting bored." he thought. Something just wasn't the same about not getting killed by his friends.

Out of the blue, our heroes then got an idea. They had C-3PO lift Jar Jar Binks into the air.

"Put mesa down!" demanded the obnoxious Gungan.

He then tossed him over the fence, where the nuclear waste was waiting for him.

"Whee! Mesa flying! Wait a minute…" he thought.

He then landed into the toxic goo.

"What da heck is dis stuff? Dis stuff is weird!" he exclaimed.

Suddenly, the Gungan began to mutate…into a chicken.

"Bawk bawk bawk!" said Jar Jar Chicken.

"Hmm, I don't think this is working." thought Anakin Skywalker.

Jar Jar Binks then mutated into a pig, and began to oink.

"Oink oink oink!" exclaimed Pig Pig Binks.

"Funny, he actually looks kind of cute in that form." giggled Padme Amidala.

The alien then mutated once again, this time into a donkey.

"Hee-onk! Hee-onk!" he yelled.

"Funny, this particular one doesn't surprise me." said Obi-Wan Kenobi.

He then mutated once again, this time into a bear. He let out a roar.

"Yikes!" screamed Padme Amidala.

"We may want to stand back." warned C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in fear.

Finally, Jar Jar Binks turned back to normal.

"Well, it seems this was a waste of time." thought Anakin Skywalker.

"Hey yousa guys…mesa feel kinda funny." he said.

Suddenly, his head began to grow bigger and bigger.

"Wait a minute." thought Qui-Gon Jinn.

His head continued to grow and grow…

"Mesa have monster headache! Why is mesa head so big so sudden?" he yelled.

His head grew bigger and bigger…until his head eventually exploded!

"Wow." said Anakin Skywalker.

Jar Jar Binks's stupid head was now splattered all over the place. Apparently, it was a side effect of all the mutations.

"I guess we'll have to teleport him out of there and then resurrect him." spoke Padme Amidala.

Suddenly, someone shot them all in the back of the neck with tranquilizer darts. Immediately, they began to feel rather sleepy.

"I think I'm going to take a nap…" thought Anakin Skywalker, as he lost consciousness.

Unfortunately, this did not work on C-3PO and R2-D2, as they were robots.

"Why do you think they're sleeping, R2-D2? It's the middle of the day!" exclaimed the android.

R2-D2 beeped in confusion. Why did they decide to go to sleep here of all places?

Their question was answered when someone pressed the off switch on the two robots, causing them both to deactivate.

"Is that all of them?" asked one of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization members.

"I believe so. Now all we have to do is resurrect Jar Jar Binks." answered the other Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization member.

They then brought the Gungan back from the dead…however they forgot one thing.

"Mesa smash puny power plant!" bellowed the Gungan. He had mutated into an Incredible Hulk like being from all the radiation, it seems.

Suffice to say, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization had quite a hard time catching him. He was just so fast. By the time they finally did so, he had already blown up the power plant.

"Be careful next time!" demanded the leader of the squad.

"I'm sorry, boss!" answered the ditzy squad member.

Our heroes then placed our heroes into their trusty van along with Jar Jar Binks (who they had thankfully managed to return back to normal), and drove off towards their headquarters.

_And the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization have abducted our heroes once again…they're going to brainwash them into killing the Gungan through the most vulgar of ways…but in the meantime, they're going to actually do the job themselves. And considering how late in the story it is it's going to be absolutely horrible…_

_In retrospect, maybe you shouldn't read this story if you're particularly squeamish…but you all seem to love this story so much…so I'll see if I can finish this story once and for all…there's only a few more chapters left to go._

_I hope you enjoyed this particular execution method…granted, I suppose it was a little unorthodox, but one of you suggested it so I figured why not._

_Oh, and a word of advice, never playing in nuclear waste! Granted, it probably won't mutate you since that would be Hollywood, but I still don't think it would end well._


	90. Implosion

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_It's the second-to-last Anti-Jar Jar Binks chapter, folks! In this chapter, he's going to die…by being imploded! What's that? You don't know what that is? Let's just say that it's not very pretty…and that it won't be fun for Jar Jar Binks just like all of the other deaths…it's actually kind of the opposite of an explosion as you can tell by what the word sounds like…but it's still lethal nonetheless._

_But then again, that's probably to be expected. You know all how all of these chapters always end…it's a once per episode thing…and I don't think we should put an end to that little pattern now, am I correct? So let's continue this like always and watch Jar Jar Binks get killed._

**Chapter 90: Implosion**

Once again, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization was plotting how to murder the obnoxious Gungan that referred to himself as Jar Jar Binks. It wasn't easy to kill him now that he was getting intelligent and that they were running out of ideas.

"We've tried everything! How else are we going to kill him?" asked one of the members.

"I don't know, let's ask our scientists. They're the smart ones." answered another member.

As it turns out, they were working on more machines they could use to kill Jar Jar Binks. They had already built an electric chair and a poison gas chamber, as you could tell by the previous chapters. Ironically enough, they were also running out of ideas.

Just how were they going to kill him next? Was today finally the day where they wouldn't be able to kill Jar Jar Binks simply because they ran out of ideas to kill him? Things were starting to look bleak…

At least, until one of the scientists came up with an idea of using a machine to make Jar Jar Binks one-dimensional…which undoubtedly would be a horrific experience considering that he was normally three-dimensional.

"Would that kill him?" asked one of the scientists.

"Yes, it would." answered the chief scientist.

"Then let's do it!" they agreed.

And so the scientists told the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization about their idea. They agreed to this unorthodox matter of death and they went to fetch Jar Jar Binks for his execution…the only problem was, just where was he? They looked around the headquarters and realized that he didn't seem to be anywhere around.

Suddenly, they heard a sound of an engine being started, and realized what was going on. Jar Jar Binks was escaping!

"So long yousa losers!" he stated, boarding a conveniently located escape van.

"Not again! Stop him!" they exclaimed.

Unfortunately, this time they were too late, as he immediately drove the van away from the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization HQ and sped off into the highway before they could catch him.

"Oh great! Now what are we going to do! The boss wants Jar Jar Binks dead! And I get the feeling that was his van…" answered one of the members.

"Fortunately, we just installed a GPS device that we could use to track him down." answered one of the scientists.

"Why didn't we think of that before? Now he has no place to hide from us!" agreed the members.

Using the GPS, they discovered that he was heading towards Hollywood. Why you ask? So that he would become a star…but knowing how annoying he was it was a disaster waiting to happen.

"Oh man this isn't good. This isn't good at all. He's probably going to create a movie so horrible that it would make The Garbage Pail Kids Movie and The Last Airbender seem good in comparision…" said one of the concerned members.

"Worse than The Garbage Pail Kids Movie and The Last Airbender? We have to stop him right now!" exclaimed one of the higher-ups.

As soon as possible, they ran into the Anti-Jar Jar Binks HQ and pulled out one of their many Books of Resurrection.

"You think we should sell these for cash?" asked one of the greedier members.

"That's not a good idea. Magic isn't something that you should play with, especially ones that involve mortality and whatnot." answered his cohort.

"Aw man!" answered the greedy member.

"Now let's hurry and cast the teleportation spell so that we can go to Hollywood and stop Jar Jar Binks from making the worst movie ever made in history." ordered the higher-up.

They read from the Book of Resurrection and cast the teleportation spell, taking them to Los Angeles. Soon enough the Gungan was already there.

"How'd he get there so fast?" asked one of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization initiates.

"I guess he must have drove way above the speed limit." answered one of the scientists.

Sure enough, Jar Jar Binks was in fact planning to create a movie that would make theatergoers run away in terror…but thankfully this did not happen, as the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization members grabbed onto him and started dragging him away.

"Noooo! Mesa was gonna make da best movie ever! I was gonna make millions! Curse yousa Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization!" he bellowed.

After foiling Jar Jar Binks's plan to create the worst movie in history, they teleported him back towards the Anti-Jar Jar Binks HQ and stuck him inside their machine. They then activated it so that he would get what was coming to him.

"Why does mesa feel so funny? What's going on?" he wondered.

Suddenly, he felt his body start to get all warped. It was as if his body was suddenly made out of jello and was now shaking everywhere.

"Cut dis out! Mesa feel awful! Stop dis right now!" he demanded.

There was a sickening noise, and all of a sudden blood splattered everywhere. Jar Jar Binks' body collapsed on itself from the dimensional warping, and he was now officially dead.

"Now this was our best death yet." answered the scientist. "Then again, it's just my opinion."

After scooping up the crumpled carcass of Jar Jar Binks, they pulled out the Book of Resurrection and brought him back from the dead. Hopefully he would not try to make a movie that would make theatergoers' heads explode like he did last time…otherwise they would probably have to use the machine again.

Afterwards, they brought him and his friends back home, so that they could once again do the job of killing Jar Jar Binks so that he wouldn't annoy everyone in the galaxy to death and ruin the Star Wars prequel trilogy for everyone.

Time would only tell if they would finally give the Gungan exactly what he deserved.

_Jar Jar Binks is once again dead…what did you think of this unusual method of death? We all know what happens to him once a chapter…so I suppose it's probably a good idea to come up with a creative way to kill him. Then again, you reviewers have actually come up with a few creative ways to kill him this well. Just remember to check the killing methods before you come up with a suggestion so you don't put in a killing method I've already used. It's not a big deal, but I don't want to repeat a killing method._

_101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks is close to the finale now…what do you think will happen? You should probably know that it's going to be big…you think I should start a countdown or something? Of course, you shouldn't need one if you already know how to count…but it still might be an idea you guys would support._

_But irregardless, the story's still going to be finished soon…hopefully anyway. There's only about ten chapters left to go…so you're probably excited. I guess I shouldn't keep you waiting then…it's not like these chapters take a long time to make, anyway. The only problem really is coming up a unique way to kill him…because of that this story's probably not going to make a sequel unfortunately…but if you guys want I can create a Star Wars fic…does that seem like a good idea to you?_

_Then again, I do want to make fics in different categories…if you get what I'm saying…so it'll probably be a while before I actually do so. But it's still there if you guys think I should do one. Feel free to give me ideas._

_So until then, I'll be seeing you later. Peace!_


	91. Earthquake

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die yet again…how you may ask? He's going to fall into a fissure…and die. Yes, you may be familiar with this attack being a one-hit knockout in Pokemon…now if only it wasn't so inaccurate…of course if it wasn't then it would be too powerful and the move would probably be banned from official tournaments._

_What's that? Having him fall to his death isn't enough for you? Fine then…it's going to be more gruesome than that…he's going to get crushed too! How you ask? From falling boulders. You happy now? Or do you want more than that? Sheesh, sometimes you guys are really demanding._

_Now then, let's watch Jar Jar Binks die once again from a natural disaster…or unnatural disaster considering how our heroes are going to cause it. I'll give you a hint: a wizard did it!_

**Chapter 91: Earthquake**

Our heroes began reading for the Book of Resurrection to see if there were more spells they could use to kill Jar Jar Binks. There was a surprising amount of deadly spells they could use against him despite the book's name and its main purpose, ironically enough. Apparently, the book was written by a powerful spellcaster…did the Anti-Jar Jar BInks Organization steal it or something? Or was there a powerful sorcerer out there who worked closely with them? Either way, they were glad that it had so many uses.

Unfortunately, it couldn't be used as a cookbook, as there were no recipes. At least, aside from ones that involved cooking Jar Jar Binks into a delicious Gungan barbecue…and our heroes had already eaten him for lunch and dinner. He tasted surprisingly good.

Our heroes began to wonder if theyshould use him to compete in a cookoff so that they could probably earn money. Then again, they'd probably be arrested for using Gungan flesh…and end up getting sentenced to life in prison, which meant that they wouldn't be able to kill Jar Jar Binks anymore. So it probably wasn't a good idea to use him in a competition.

"So many spells…but just what spell can we use against him? There are so many candidates." pointed out Anakin Skywalker. "Then again, we've probably killed him already in similar ways to these spells…."

"Good point." Padme Amidala agreed. "But still, I can't help but shake the feeling that there's one spell that we could still use on him."

"Perhaps we could try the fissure spell? I don't think we've tried killing him using an earthquake or any other natural disaster for that matter." answered Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Fissure spell? That sounds dangerous." Qui-Gon Jinn pointed out.

"You'd probably kill us all." warned C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in fear. Were they all going to die?

It was then that Jar Jar Binks came by. Apparently he wanted to annoy them once more like he usually did.

"What are yousa guys doing?" he asked.

He then noticed they were reading the Book of Resurrection, and realized what they were planning.

"Oh no! Not dis time! Mesa gonna get away!" exclaimed Jar Jar Binks, who began to run away.

"Darn it! Not again! Why can't he simply hold still?" exclaimed Padme Amidala.

"Sheesh, and to think he was so stupid before." thought Obi-Wan Kenobi.

In an act of desperation, Anakin Skywalker read out of the Book of Resurrection so that he could kill Jar Jar Binks…unfortunately, he selected the fissure spell, causing the ground to shake.

"Anakin, what did you do?!" exclaimed Padme.

"I just read out of the Book of Resurrection." replied Anakin.

"You're going to make us all become one with the force!" bellowed ObI-Wan Kenobi.

Jar Jar Binks immediately fell into the open fissure, and he began to scream.

"Noooo! Mesa gonna fall to mesa death! Curse yousa earthquake! Curse yousa mesa friends! Why can't mesa have wings! Mesa would love to have wings! Boohoo!" he exclaimed.

He was then crushed when some nearby boulders fell into the fissure and made him into delicious bloody Gungan pancakes. He was now officially dead…but so were most of our heroes in just a few moments.

Qui-Gon Jinn was the first one to fall in…

"Mommy!" he exclaimed as he fell to his doom.

Then Obi-Wan Kenobi…

"I sensed a disturbance in the force today, now I know why." he thought.

Padme Amidala was next to go…

"Oh the humanity!" screamed Padme.

And finally, the unlucky C-3PO and R2-D2 fell to their doom…

"There's a 100% percent chance that we're both going to die, R2-D2. It's been nice knowing you." explained C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped "Goodbye, cruel world!"

When the fissure finally closed, Anakin Skywalker was the sole survivor.

"Noooo! What have I done!" he exclaimed, realizing that the fissure spell had killed off of all of his friends.

Thankfully, he still had the Book of Resurrection, so that he could bring back his friends, hopefully anyway.

Unfortunately, he stuttered when he read from the book, causing his friends to be reincarnated as zombies.

"Alright, I didn't know that could happen." Anakin thought. "I guess I'll have to be more careful next time."

"Mesa gonna eat yousa brains! And den yousa flesh! And den yousa kidneys! And den yousa intestines! And den somfing else!" stated the zombified Jar Jar Binks.

Anakin Skywalker then had to kill his friends again, using his trusty lightsaber and the force to send them back to the grave.

"Darn it! I killed my friends again! I suck! I wonder if I'm really cut out to be a Jedi…" he thought.

Suddenly, he got a cell phone message from Emperor Palpatine asking him to join the dark side.

"No thanks, I've got enough problems as it is without me being a lord of darkness that goes around killing innocent people." he thought.

He then used the Book of Resurrection to bring back his friends back from the dead…and of course to apologize for killing them twice.

"Sheesh, being a zombie sucks. All you ever do all day is to try to eat people's brains." Padme Amidala stated. "And there's already a ton of games where you pump them full of lead."

"I never want to be a zombie again." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Afterwards, he resurrected Jar Jar Binks, although he was secretly hoping that he would become a zombie again so that he could kill him for the third time. But this did not happen, and he came back from the dead his normal self. Well, normal being a relative term.

"It's Friday Friday, getting' down on Friday…he said.

"Nooo!" our heroes screamed.

_Well, we're approaching the end of this story…there's only ten chapters left to go after this…what did you think of this chapter? Was it intense? Or do you think I should change something? I certainly hoped that you enjoyed it…it's a shame that this story's going to end soon…_

_But I hope you guys will enjoy this story until the end, am I right? Because I'm probably not going to continue this fic if you guys don't enjoy it…and then it's going to end up in the fic graveyard where an unfortunate amount of short ones end up…_

_So I guess I'll be seeing you until next time._


	92. Hurricane

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, our heroes are going to kill Jar Jar Binks using a hurricane…but it's not going to end well and our heroes are all going to die…well, alright, maybe not all of them. But it's still going to end badly for our heroes. But nonetheless, Jar Jar Binks is still going to die through yet another natural disaster…or should we say unnatural disaster? After all, our heroes are going to use magic again to create it…so maybe it's a magical disaster?_

_Wait, what am I even saying? Oh well, let's just get this chapter started. After all, there are only nine of them left to go after this…so we better wrap them up quickly._

**Chapter 92: Hurricane**

Our heroes prepared another plan to kill Jar Jar Binks brutally. Knowing the disaster that had occurred the last time they had used a powerful spell in the Book of Resurrection, they decided that it would be a good idea to use a smaller spell to avoid unnecessary casualties.

"But what spell should we use? Meteor Swarm?" asked Anakin Skywalker.

"No, my apprentice, that is too dangerous." warned Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Tidal Wave?" asked Padme Amidala.

"Still too dangerous…and considering Jar Jar Binks is a Gungan he might actually be able to survive that." pointed out Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Hmm…" our heroes thought.

Unbeknownst to our heroes however, their arch-enemy was once again plotting against his own death.

"How do mesa stop dem from killing mesa dis time? Mesa has tried so many things…" he thought.

He then remembered the Book of Resurrection, which our heroes had used to bring him back from the dead every time they murdered him horribly. What if the book was destroyed?

"Maybe if da book was destroyed, maybe dey wouldn't kill mesa anymore!" he exclaimed.

He then started to prepare a plan to destroy the book. Surely there would be an effective way to destroy it…but since it was a magic book it would probably be able to repair itself. He would therefore need to destroy it thoroughly so that it could never be used again.

"Mesa can't rip da book to shreds…dat book would just repair itself. Maybe it would even make more copies of da book?" he thought.

He then thought about using white-out to remove the spells from the pages…but he realized that probably wouldn't work either as it had magical ink.

"Dang nabbit! Dat won't work either!" he exclaimed.

Suddenly, he got an idea that would probably work…what if he used a torch to burn the book to ashes? Possibly that would destroy the magic and therefore prevent the book from returning to mint condition.

"Yes! Mesa won't die anymore! Mesa finally have ticket to freedom! Mesa gonna destroy Book of Resurrection so mesa won't die ever again!" he exclaimed.

He then lit a nearby torch, and started looking around for the book.

As it turns out, our heroes were still trying to prepare a spell from the book…maybe they could polymorph him into a frog and then dissect him?

"I believe the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization already cut into him…that might explain why they know so much about Gungans." pointed out C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in frustration…just how were they going to kill him? They just didn't have any more ideas…

Suddenly, they heard the sound of yelling…curiously enough it sounded just like Jar Jar Binks.

"Burn Book of Resurrection! Burn!" the Gungan yelled.

Our heroes looked at him, and realized that he was wielding a torch…and that he was planning on destroying the book they had used to murder him with for so long.

"What are we going to do? He's too fast! We can't outrun him!" Anakin Skywalker exclaimed.

Padme Amidala panicked, and in desperation, she read one of the spells out of the Book of Resurrection.

Unfortunately, it turned out to be the hurricane spell.

Suddenly, fierce winds began to blow.

"What did you do?!" exclaimed Qui-Gon Jinn, who began trying to avoid being blown away, without much success.

Immediately, Jar Jar Binks's torch went out.

"Nooo! Mesa torch has been extinguished! How will mesa destroy Book of Resurrection now!" screeched the Gungan.

Shortly afterwards, he ended up being blown away by the increasing wind. He crashed into a building and splattered into Gungan chunks.

"Oh my force!" exclaimed Anakin Skywalker.

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn were also blown away by the winds…they also crashed into a building and broke their necks. They both died.

"Nooo! They're dead too! What have I done!" screeched Padme Amidala.

R2-D2 and C-3PO also died…the winds caused their parts to scatter all over the place…as Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala had built them out of cheap materials.

"You've got to be kidding me…" thought Padme Amidala.

The last member of our hero's party to go was Anakin Skywalker. He tried hanging onto a lamppost, but it didn't work and for some strange reason, the wind blew him all the way to the ocean, where he drowned.

"Noooo! Why!" exclaimed Padme Amidala, realizing what her actions had done. "First that killer earthquake, and now this."

After the wind finally settled, she then pulled out the Book of Resurrection and went to locate Jar Jar Binks and the corpses of her friends, hoping she would be able to resurrect them all like she had done before.

"It's a shame there isn't a mass resurrection spell in this book." Padme Amidala thought.

As it turns out, said spell was going to be included in the next volume of the Book of Resurrection, so that people who hated particular works of fiction (such as Twilight, for instance) rather than simply one fictional character could get away with mass murder by bringing all of their fictional victims back from the dead at once.

But unfortunately, our heroes only had the first volume, so they simply had to settle for bringing dead people back to life one by one.

Thankfully, she managed to do so in a rather quick matter of time before people noticed what had happened. Unfortunately, she mispronounced the spell like Anakin did in his hesitation and they all came back as force ghosts.

"Ooooo! Mesa spooky ghosty!" exclaimed Jar Jar Binks.

"Whoops." Padme Amidala said.

She pulled out a vacuum cleaner and sucked up all the ghosts so that they wouldn't fly away from her, then used the Book of Resurrection so that they would all turn back to normal.

Afterwards, our heroes began discussing a plan to kill Jar Jar Binks…Suddenly, it began occurring to them that the galactic authorities might start becoming suspicious if they murdered the Gungan in public.

"That didn't seem much of a problem before." pointed out Anakin Skywalker.

"Let's just say that the authorities have finally stopped being lazy and that they're catching on to our horrible crimes." Obi-Wan Kenobi stated.

"I suppose it's finally time that we should be more careful about killing him…I recall this one time where we actually got arrested for killing him." agreed Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Don't remind me…" agreed Padme Amidala.

Eventually, our heroes decided that they should probably kill Jar Jar Binks in the local woods…as nobody ever visited there and that therefore it would be ideal to kill him that way.

What our heroes did not realize was that there was reason that people never visited that horrible place…and they would find out in the next chapter.

_And that is why you never play with magic…you've all seen The Sorceror's Apprentice, haven't you? That little mouse was lucky that he didn't drown! Then again, he is a cartoon character…so for all we know he could actually be immune to drowning._

_In case you were wondering, the next chapter is going to be based off of a scary video game that is based off a popular meme itself…can you guess what it's going to be? You should probably be able to if you're a fan of spooky things…_

_Naturally, it's going to be nasty, and Jar Jar Binks isn't going to enjoy it. On the other hand, I think you will, so keep waiting for it._

_Adios!_


	93. Slenderman

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_This chapter is going to reference a rather scary video game…basically speaking, our heroes are going to be hunted down by a rather scary monster that you may know from the internet…let's hope that he doesn't try to get you because for some strange reason, the fourth wall doesn't seem to work on him. He always appears out of nowhere…_

_But for the time being, he's hanging around in the woods in the middle of the night, as our heroes will eventually find out as they collect several unusual pages. What secret could be hidden in them? And just who do you think could have written them? The galaxy may never know._

**Chapter 93: Slenderman**

"These woods are awfully scary." thought Padme Amidala. "You sure we should set up camp here? It doesn't look overly ideal, to say the very least."

"Every time you take us somewhere else, something always happens that ends up getting us killed. Are you trying to commit suicide again, Obi-Wan Kenobi?" pointed out Anakin Skywalker.

"Relax my apprentice, I promise you that nothing bad is going to happen to us this time." Obi-Wan Kenobi pointed out.

"But I'm sensing a disturbance in the force. A big one." stated Anakin Skywalker.

"It's probably just your imagination." ignored Qui-Gon Jinn.

Unbeknownst to our heroes, there was a monster in these particular woods…one that for some strange reason liked to dress up in a fancy suit whenever it wanted to go out and kill more victims. Oh, and for some strange reason, it had tentacles and liked to teleport around the place.

Jar Jar Binks had once again wandered away from the group, and noticed that there was a written page on one of the trees. He wondered what was going on as he began reading.

The letter read "Help me! There's a maniac in the woods! He dresses in a tuxedo and he wants me dead! He has tentacles and if you look at him for too long, you'll lose your mind! Get the heck out of here now!"

"Dat was rather unusual." thought the Gungan. He wondered who on earth would write something like that, and whether there really was a monster in the woods.

He decided to head back to his friends, when suddenly Jar Jar Binks noticed that there was a strange-looking man standing out in the woods. He noticed that for some strange reason, he was abnormally tall and was rather slender.

"Hi there! Yousa better be careful! Dere's a monster in the woods! Yousa better get out of here!" pointed out the Gungan.

The monster responded by lunging towards Jar Jar Binks, and he began tearing his organs out.

"Ouchies! Quit taking mesa organs! Mesa need mesa organs to survive!" exclaimed the unfortunate victim.

The monster simply ignored him, and continued tearing out his vital (and non-vital) organs until his latest victim croaked…which didn't take very long at all considering how fragile Jar Jar Binks tended to be.

With his hands now covered with delicious Gungan blood, the Slender Man then teleported away to search for his next victim…which ironically enough was very nearby.

As it turns out, our heroes were also discovering disturbing pages throughout the woods.

"Beware of the Slenderman! He is a crazy maniac who wants to kill you and your friends and family! He won't rest until everyone in the world is dead!" stated one of the pages.

"I want my mommy! I want my daddy! I want to get out of here! The Slenderman is E-V-I-L! Why does he have to be so cruel? Does he have any sense of humanity?" stated another one of the pages.

"Run for your lives! The Slenderman is here! Get the heck out of this forest before it's too late!" informed yet another page.

"Please Slenderman, have mercy! What did I ever do to you! No please! Aah!" informed the fourth page.

"Slenderman is a jerk. He is stupid, ugly, and fat. He also smells like raw sewage." retorted the fifth page.

"Why the heck does he have no eyes? Can he even see us? Is he blind?" questioned the sixth page.

"Why are we even writing these pages? It's not like it's going to help us in the long run, anyway." questioned the final page.

"These pages are really disturbing." thought Padme Amidala. Who do you think was creating them? And just who was the Slenderman? Was he some kind of serial killer that lurked in dark forests hunting for lumberjacks and the like? Either way, it looked like that it might be in their best interest to get out of the woods before anything horrible happened. They then noticed one of them was missing.

"Has anyone seen Jar Jar Binks? I think he wandered off again. I hope something horrible happened to him. We were planning on killing here anyway." Anakin Skywalker questioned.

"Let's hope he died gruesomely, my apprentice. That's what usually happens to him whenever he splits himself away from us, ironically enough. I still don't understand why he keeps doing that." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"But what do you think could have killed him this time? I don't understand what could kill him out here." asked Qui-Gon Jinn.

Suddenly, they heard an unearthly roaring noise, and they saw the Slenderman rushing straight towards them with his several arm tentacles.

"Run for it!" exclaimed Anakin Skywalker.

Unfortunately, Anakin was too slow, and the Slender Man teleported towards him and ripped his head off his shoulders. He then began using it as a basketball.

"Oh my force!" exclaimed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

He then threw it to our heroes, causing them all to scream like little girls.

"Oh my gods! Disembodied Anakin head!" exclaimed Padme Amidala.

C-3PO began to scan the Slender Man, and determined that he was an ancient demon that despised all good in the universe and therefore wanted to kill virtually everything in the universe. It could also transfer between cosmos in the blink of an eye.

"We are so very screwed." stated C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in fear. Was that what our heroes were dealing with? If so, they were probably doomed.

Our heroes, in desperation, started climbing the fence that they had used to enter the forest in the first place, but the Slender Man blocked the way.

"No!" exclaimed Obi-Wan Kenobi, who thought they were finally safe. Was fate against them? Were they all going to die from this monster?

The Slender Man then impaled Obi-Wan with one of his nasty tentacles, and Qui-Gon Jinn with another one of his overpowered tentacles. They were now both dead.

"Save yourself…" they told Padme, right before they came one with the force like they did in the first and fourth movie respectively.

Now all that was left was C-3PO, R2-D2, and Padme Amidala, who started trying to run away from the Slenderman. Unfortunately, he was rather persistent, and he simply wouldn't leave them alone. Perhaps it was because of all the pages that they had collected?

Either way, it looked like they were in trouble. Not only was he faster than them, but Padme Amidala got the feeling that a lightsaber wouldn't be a match for those deadly tentacles.

C-3PO pulled out an overly sized laser cannon from out of his head and began firing at the slender monster, but it simply phased through him. Was he some kind of ghost? He had no idea why that didn't work on him.

R2-D2 immediately wet himself as the Slender Man slowly approached them, causing oil to spill all over the floor.

Slender Man then stabbed C-3PO and R2-D2's harddrives with his tentacles, causing them both to shortcircuit and explode. Padme Amidala was the only one of our heroes left.

In desperation, Padme decided to read a book about the Slender Man Mythos (where she had gotten one, the galaxy may never know) to see if he had any weaknesses. Apparently, the only thing that could stop him was none other than Chuck Norris.

She pulled out the Book of Resurrection and used it to summon the cowboy to attack the monstrous creature. Curiously enough, they were fighting on rather equal terms.

During the confusion, she resurrected all of her deceased friends and then got the heck out of the forest before Slender Man or Chuck Norris noticed them and killed her friends again.

"I never want to go into a dark forest ever again. Especially not with him around." said Anakin Skywalker.

"Why do I even take you on vacations…they cause nothing but trouble." thought Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Fortunately, our heroes were now safe from the incredibly evil Slender Man who was always hunting and killing others…

Or were they? For all they knew, they were probably on his hit list…would they ever see him again? Our heroes certainly hoped not…but hope probably wouldn't be enough to save them from Slender Man. Would they survive a possible future encounter? Time would only tell.

_And our heroes have once again thrown themselves in another life-threatening situation…once again, their foolish decisions have resulted in their deaths…_

_Are there any more Creepypasta monsters that you want to kill Jar Jar Binks with? Or do you want to stick to more original horror icons…then again, I've used a lot of them already, so I'm kind of running out of horror movies._

_Or do you want me to stick to more original methods? We're reaching the end of this story so I figure we might as well use some of them…then again, you're probably also longing for something more creative. I do want to make the last few chapters intense, after all. There's only eight more to go._

_But you should probably know that considering what the title of the story is…I've actually had a reviewer tell me to change the title so that I can kill him even more…but to be quite honest with you I'm actually running out of ideas. You can only kill Jar Jar Binks so many times before you can't think of anymore ways to kill him. Then again, there is a far larger list I found on the Internet somewhere…although it's not as detailed when it comes to killing him._


	94. Grim Reaper

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks 94

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks is going to die yet again…but I suppose I don't have to tell you that do I? It happens once per chapter, just like it will now. But how will he die again? The answer is going to be surprising…he's going to die from none other than the Grim Reaper himself! That's right…he's actually going to do the job this time. Like I said, I wanted the deaths to be creative…and I also wanted them to be gruesome._

**Chapter 94: Grim Reaper**

After being attacked by the Slenderman, our heroes literally thought they were out of woods…they had in fact escaped from the forest he had called home and therefore thought they were safe from the beast.

Fortunately for the time being, the Slenderman was no longer interested in them, as he had decided to go off to search for more victims, although he was disappointed that one of his would-be victims had managed to get away from him.

He was currently battling Chuck Norris…although by the looks of things the battle was going to last for centuries. However, in the process, they had attracted the attention of the one that was making it possible for our heroes to kill Jar Jar Binks in the first place…death itself.

As it turns out, our heroes were plotting to kill the Gungan once again…they had been doing it for a long time, so why should they stop now? After all, there are so many ways to kill Jar Jar Binks as you can tell by the title of this story. However, their mission to murder the Gungan would once again be interrupted by a supernatural entity.

"Do you hear something?" asked Anakin Skywalker.

"It's probably just the wind." answered Padme Amidala.

"I'm sensing a disturbance in the force…which curiously enough seems to be one with the force. I wonder why." pondered Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Suddenly, the Grim Reaper materialized out of thin air, causing our heroes to panic. Standing before them was a skeleton wearing a cloak and holding a scythe…immediately, our heroes realized what was going on.

"He's going to kill us!" screamed Anakin Skywalker.

"Run for your life!" screeched Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Please, take the robot! He's annoying as heck! He's almost as annoying as Jar Jar Binks himself!" bellowed Padme Amidala.

"Put me down. And quit being a dirty coward." demanded C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in fear. If he touched them even once, they would end up dead. He wasn't sure if it worked on robots.

"Not to worry. I'm actually not to kill any of you…except for Jar Jar Binks. Although personally, I don't see why you keep resurrecting him. Shouldn't he simply remain dead? That way he would remain in Hell and therefore demons would torture him for all eternity." pointed out the Grim Reaper.

"We're trying to kill him one hundred and one times." answered Anakin Skywalker.

"So far we've killed him ninety-three times." C-3PO continued.

"I see…well then, I hope you don't mind if I kill him myself, do you? Believe me, a lot of deaths could have been prevented if he hadn't decided to give the Emperor emergency powers." replied the Grim Reaper.

"You don't say?" asked Padme Amidala.

"Now if you excuse me, I'm going to look for him." stated the Grim Reaper, who vanished as mysteriously as he had appeared.

"Did we just imagine that?" wondered Anakin Skywalker.

"I'm not sure of that myself, my apprentice…he seemed authentic to me." contradicted Obi-Wan Kenobi.

As it turns out, Jar Jar Binks was once again trying to prevent himself from being killed, unaware that he was going to die in the most direct manner possible.

Out of nowhere, the skeleton with the scythe materialized in the room.

"Jar Jar Binks…I've come for your soul…" stated the Grim Reaper.

"Who are yousa? Are yousa the emperor? Or are mesa just imagining things?" asked the Gungan.

"No no no, he's the devil. Don't you remember? You sold your soul to him simply so that you could have a cookie or something. I'm not too sure of that myself. As for myself, I am the Grim Reaper, the one who takes people towards him. Anyways, I'm here to claim your soul for the day." the Grim Reaper told him.

"Noo! Mesa like mesa soul! Keep away from mesa soul! Mesa soul is mesa precious!" demanded the obnoxious alien.

"Relax, this will only take a minute…and it's going to be swift and painless, although I'm not sure if you deserve a swift and painless death, to be quite frank with you. What's going to happen to you afterwards though, not so much." explained the Grim Reaper.

Before he could react, the reaper zoomed towards him and touched his chest. Immediately, Jar Jar Binks died and his soul was collected.

"I have to admit, this touch of death can come in handy. It's a pain though. I can't grow a garden or have any sort of pet…and I've had a hard time getting an apprentice without killing them. Perhaps I should have a zombie dog or something? I think they would probably suffice. Or maybe I should get a robot dog? I think they might be immune to the touch of death as well. But I've never tried touching a robot, so I can't be sure about that."

"But where was I? Ah yes. Now that I've got his soul, I should take him to the darkest depths of Hell where he belongs for all the horrible things he has done. I heard Emperor Palpatine designed a special wing of Hell specifically to make him suffer for all the rotten things he has done. Speaking of which, I'm going to need the emperor's permission to send him there." continued the Grim Reaper.

"By all means, go on ahead. I personally enjoy torturing Jar Jar Binks, and I can't pass up the opportunity to do so again." stated the emperor.

"Oh! You startled me! I take it you're going to torture him once again? You always seem to be torturing people every time I see you." asked the Grim Reaper.

"I'm afraid you know me too well." smiled Emperor Palpatine. "Now let's open the portal!"

A portal to the soul-sucking darkness to Hell was opened, and the Grim Reaper dropped the soul inside. Immediately, Jar Jar Binks went on a one-way trip to the overly-sized underground torture chamber known as Hell, also known as the place where bad people go where they die.

And so once again Jar Jar Binks went through horrific, nightmarish tortures that would make most of you squeamish…at least if it weren't for the fact that you enjoy watching him suffer so much like the evil sadists you are.

To put it mildly, Jar Jar Binks experienced pain. More specifically, he experienced agony. In fact, he felt pain like he had never suffered before. Except maybe for when he sold his soul to Emperor Palpatine and got himself into lots of Gungan doodoo because of it.

"Nooo! Mesa hate being tortured! Why does dis always happen to mesa? What did mesa ever do to deserve dis?" he wondered.

"Actually, according to this list of your wrongdoings, you once annoyed several people to death…know anything about that?" asked one of the demons.

"Oh yeah…" he remembered.

The tortures continued, with Jar Jar Binks having hot rocks shoved down his pants, being forced to eat radioactive pie, having to endure jury duty, having to answer calls from the telemarketer, and slipping down a banana peel down a long flight of stairs.

"Ouch ow ooh eek!" screamed Jar Jar Binks.

The tortures raged on, with the Gungan having his eyes shoved down his pants so that he can watch the demons beat the crud out of him, and then having his tongue used to paint a boat. Also, he had a sausage stuck down his throat and starving dogs stuck up his butt.

"Ouchies! Mesa tongue! And mesa butt! Why is dis happening to me?" screamed the Gungan.

"You're in Hell, remember?" explained one of the demons.

"Oh right! How could mesa possibly forget? Owie owie owchies!" yelled Jar Jar Binks.

It seemed to the tortures would never end, as Jar Jar Binks slowly went insane. Well, more insane that he already was.

"Ouchies! Mesa head is exploding! Cut that out! Mesa hate it when mesa head explodes! It gives mesa explosive headache!" he screamed.

But no matter how much you enjoy them, all good (or evil) things must come to an end, as the Grim Reaper had promised to return the Gungan's soul back to where it came from at the end of the day.

Soon enough, Jar Jar Binks was teleported out of Hell and he found himself alive and whole, and mysteriously out of Pandemonium and back to where he was standing previously. He began to get curious.

"Was that simply a bad dream? Mesa can't remember. Being killed by mesa friends gives mesa lots of nightmares." he thought.

Nonetheless, he began to wonder if someone was invading his dreams…like that Freddy Krueger fellow had done earlier. He began to wonder if he should take some medicine to prevent himself from having dreams.

But then again, he had heard that people go crazy whenever they don't dream…and that there had been reports of violence related to it. Perhaps trying to get rid of his dreams wasn't such a good idea…but then again, it might make it easier to protect himself from his friends if he was hostile and violent.

Speaking of which, he wondered if his evil counterpart would be coming back for revenge. He somehow got the feeling that he hadn't seen the last of him…

_So, are you sensing a bit of foreshadowing? I heard from a review that you wanted Evil Jar Jar Binks to make a second appearance…granted he appeared rather late in the story but he's still there if you want to see him again…_

_Or do you want to him die through yet another gruesome method? I'm having a hard time coming up with new ways to kill him…as you might be able to tell by this latest death method…I hope you enjoyed it though because I know I did. Who would have thought that death itself would decide to take care of Jar Jar Binks himself?_

_Then again, you all probably saw that one coming…after all, there's really no better person to do the job…except for maybe Chuck Norris…but I already used him so I suppose I can't do so again. Unless you want him to murder him and his friends even more gruesomely and in another fashion…_

_Due to status quo he had to bring the Gungan's soul back however…so I suppose the experience was short-lived. But then again, the story is rapidly approaching its final chapter…so what does it matter? Let's simply finish this story so that we can all celebrate. Adios!_


	95. Dissection

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks is going to die through a method you've all been dying to see...he's going to get dissected...and to make things ironic he's going to end up being dissected by a bunch of other aliens. And they're not going to use anesthesia...suffice to say Jar Jar Binks is going to feel a lot of pain...kind of like back when he was in Hell. Well, now he's in a living one for a change. But once again he's going to die..._

**Chapter 95: Dissection**

Jar Jar Binks was lying around in the middle of the night ignoring the cold, freezing air from the lack of sun. He had decided to gaze at the stars, and was unaware of the horrible, beastly things that were going to happen to him in just a short while.

"What a wonderful day mesa is having today! What can possibly go wrong? It's not like someone's gonna kill mesa today!" he asked.

Soon enough he would get an answer. Suddenly, he heard a mysterious whirring noise, and began to wonder who was there.

"Who's going after mesa? I demand yousa to come out and show yousaself! Quit hiding like some coward, yousa losers!" he demanded.

Shortly afterwards, he noticed that there was a rather large spaceship flying straight towards him. Judging from the green tractor beam, someone was trying to abduct him.

"Oh noes! Mesa better run! Mesa don't wanna end up being abducted and probed! Aah!" he screamed, trying to escape his inevitable fate.

Unfortunately for Jar Jar Binks, the alien spaceship proved to be too fast for him, and soon enough he was kidnapped by the mysterious visitors. What could they possibly want to do to him?

As it turns out, he had been abducted by little green men who looked somewhat like the aliens from Toy Story...only they were more evil.

"Do we always have to use a green tractor beam? It's getting kind of dull to be quite frank with you." asked one of them.

"I dunno...I asked the boss if we could use a red one, but he said no. I guess he just likes the color that much." answered another visitor.

"I don't understand him really...he's really violent, yet he doesn't like the color red. Some intergalactic warlord he is." they questioned.

"What did you say about me?" asked the intergalactic warlord as he marched into the room. He was wearing scary-looking black armour, and was carrying a laser axe, although it was already obvious that he was in charge due to how big he was.

"Um, hi. We didn't see you there!" exclaimed the visitors, trying to weasel their way out of their unfortunate situation.

The intergalactic warlord smashed the unfortunate visitors's heads together, causing their heads to explode into purple goo. He smiled to himself as he went to check on their prisoner.

"Ugh, can they do anything right! I was expecting a human being, not this obnoxious Gungan! No wonder I killed them, they were completely and utterly incompetent!" he muttered.

"Well, since you're already here, I might as well have some of my scientists have some fun with you." the intergalactic warlord stated.

"Yay! Mesa gonna have fun! What game are wesa gonna play? Mesa hope wesa playing checkers!" he asked.

"What game? Oh, you'll find out in just a moment...trust me, this game is a cut above the rest!" exclaimed the intergalactic warlord.

"What exactly do yousa mean by that? Dat sounds like a double entendre if you ask mesa." inquired Jar Jar Binks.

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough, my friend." stated the evil alien.

The intergalactic warlord pressed a button on his trusted remote control, and Jar Jar Binks was released from the green light. He then pressed another button, and all of a sudden the Gungan was strapped to an operating table.

"What the-hey! Let mesa go! Mesa don't like dis game! Mesa don't wanna play anymore! Let mesa go back home!" bellowed Jar Jar Binks.

"But we just started playing! Surely you would have more hospitality than this as one of our guests!" answered the intergalactic warlord. "Now then, in case you were wondering, in just a few minutes, some of my best men will be here to dissect your organs."

Jar Jar Binks turned white as a ghost...which he would be shortly once the aliens were through with him.

"Nooo! Stay away from mesa organs! Mesa love mesa organs! Mesa need mesa organs to survive! Don't take them away from mesa!" demanded the Gungan.

Naturally, the warlord ignored his cries of mercy as if he was wearing earplugs, and soon enough the aliens arrived to start taking away Jar Jar Binks' organs. He struggled and squirmed, but his puny Gungan arms naturally could not break through solid metal. He was screwed.

And how painful being dissected by the aliens was! The aliens didn't do the job quickly, on the contrary, they took their time removing Jar Jar Binks's organs...in fact, they didn't even start the job straight away. They instead started by cutting into his legs and into his arms, making sure that he would experience the maximum amount of agony.

"Nooo! Mesa feel like mesa on fire! Make it stop! Make it stop!" demanded Jar Jar Binks.

The aliens ignored Jar Jar Binks, and all of a sudden they started taking his organs away one by one by one using a scalpel and a pair of pliers. The Gungan had never felt as much pain in his entire life...excluding the times where he was technically dead and was being tortured in Hell, of course.

"Mesa do anything! Mesa give yousa mesa wallet! Mesa give yousa mesa cookies! Mesa give yousa mesa credit card! Just don't kill mesa!" begged Jar Jar Binks.

Once again, his pleas fell onto deaf ears...or in this case deaf antenna. Finally, the long torture session was over...and the Gungan finally met the sweet release of death.

"Was the operation a success? Surely you wouldn't want to disappoint me, now would you?" asked the intergalactic warlord.

The alien scientists nodded. Dissecting was so much fun! They wondered when they would be able to do it again.

"Good...hopefully now we can learn how to kill more of those obnoxious Gungans...they must be a pest to all of the galaxy judging by how annoying this one was. Just looking at him now makes me want to strangle him...but since he's already dead we might as well get rid of him before he stinks up the spaceship." pointed out the warlord.

Jar Jar Binks's corpse was then dropped off...coincidentally in the exact same place he ended up being abducted by the same aliens not too long ago.

"You sure we shouldn't have probed him?" asked one of the kinky visitors.

"Do you want to stick things up that obnoxious alien's butt?" answered the intergalactic warlord.

The alien shrugged. Sticking probes up others' butts was awfully fun too...but today they would not be able to do it seemed.

"Well, I sure don't! He might fart in my face or something...and for all we know it could be toxic." stated the intergalactic warlord.

The aliens then flew away to search for more victims to dissect. Surely they would be another one around the galaxy somewhere.

The next day, our heroes discovered Jar Jar Binks's body, which for some reason was already flea-ridden and decomposing.

"Sheesh, how many times is he going to wander away from us? He must be really determined to avoid being killed...but apparently that didn't help him this time." pointed out Anakin Skywalker.

"Ah yes...I determine he was dissected by other aliens." explained C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped with delight. The evil little Gungan had been tortured to death!

"Why didn't we think of that? We could have probably donated his organs to science!" exclaimed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"We would have probably ended up being caught anyway...the scientists would probably notice that something was up if the organs were all mangled and still fresh..." contradicted Padme Amidala.

"Still, it would be nice to actually get paid to kill Jar Jar Binks for a change. That way we could buy more things to kill him...of course we've already used a lot of things to kill him already...what thing haven't we already used on him?" inquired Anakin Skywalker.

"Maybe we could try vaporizing him this time...that sounds like it would end up coming in handy." suggested Padme Amidala.

"Alright then...let's do it!" agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

And so our heroes had already come up with the next way to kill the annoying Gungan...it seemed that there was always another method to murder him.

_It wa sonly a matter of time before some alien came along and murdered Jar Jar Binks, am I correct? Then again, that has actually happened to him twice before...but it's not like they technically dissected him...but these ones sure did! It must have been a painful experience for Jar Jar Binks...and therefore one you should have all enjoyed._

_Anyways, like I said...in the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks is going to end up being vaporized! I bet you all wanted to see this one coming! At least, some of you probably did. You always seem to come up with rather crazy suggestions...all the while, the countdown to the final chapter is still approaching...tick tock tick tock._

_So goodbye then..._


	96. Vaporization

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_The ending to this story is rapidly approaching, I have to say. In just a few more chapters we'll get to see the grand finale...and what a show it's going to be...but for now let's watch this little Gungan get what he deserves...through being vaporized completely and utterly!_

_Granted, it's probably not going to be as painful as the other deaths...but at least it's going to be satisfying to watch...hopefully anyway. I know that you love it when he dies gruesomely...and when he cries in pain._

**Chapter 96: Vaporization**

"So, you're ready to vaporize Jar Jar Binks, my apprentice? You seem awfully excited about murdering him..." questioned Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Yes...I was thinking that we should use a laser cannon on him or something...granted, it's similar to a certain meme but it will get the job done." answered Anakin Skywalker, who had a rather evil-looking grin on his face.

"I take it we'll need to go to the laboratory again?" inquired Padme Amidala.

"It looks that way. On the other hand, I think I saw it just near the entrance..." stated Qui-Gon Jinn.

"In that case, it shouldn't be too hard...after all, we do have a magical book on our side." pointed out Anakin Skywalker.

"What would we ever do without it?" agreed Padme.

And so our heroes prepared a plan to kill Jar Jar Binks. Once again, they invited them to go on a trip with them...but he immediately got suspicious.

"No way! Mesa gonna get killed if mesa travel with yousa! Mesa hate being killed!" exclaimed Jar Jar Binks.

Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi tried to grab him by the arms so that they could kidnap him, but unfortunately he was already prepared for that. He pulled out a lightsaber and forced them to stay away from him. He certainly wasn't letting his guard down this time, as he then pointed it towards our heroes.

"Nice try! Mesa run yousa through if yousa try anything funny!" exclaimed Jar Jar Binks.

"It looks like we may have a problem." stated Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"I detect a large amount of midi-chlorians inside of Jar Jar Binks." warned C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in fear. Was he more powerful than Anakin Skywalker? If so, it looked like that they wouldn't be able to kill him.

Anakin Skywalker on the other hand was simply frustrated at Jar Jar Binks's attempt to defend himself. Why couldn't he just come along quietly for a change? He just kept on getting harder and harder to kill, and already he was getting tired of it.

"Oh c'mon! We only need to do this a few more times! After that, the total will reach one hundred and one...and then you'll be free to go!" exclaimed Anakin Skywalker.

"Well when you put it dat way..." said Jar Jar Binks.

Reluctantly, he decided to go to the laboratory that would become his tomb.

Unfortunately, it seemed that the scientists had ramped up their security ever since the Evil Jar Jar Binks incident that had created a monster. In fact, they had come up with several creative ways to protect it. They now had multiple Terminators, several mutants, Rambo, monkey ninjas, a man-eating shark, Optimus Prime, a pack of fiery wolves, and even Chuck Norris to guard the place.

"Things might be harder for us than we thought." stated Padme Amidala.

Suddenly, one of the Terminators spotted our heroes, and immediately began to open fire.

"Run!" exclaimed Anakin Skywalker.

Unfortunately, two Terminators blocked the way out, so the only option was to simply run into the laboratory and hope that one of then survived so that they could resurrect Jar Jar Binks later.

Suffice to say, things were about to get messy.

"Aargh!" screamed Anakin as he was vaporized by a laser blast from one of the Terminators.

"Noooo!" exclaimed Obi-Wan Kenobi. His apprentice was dead! Why George Lucas why?

Thankfully, everyone else was able to escape from the Terminators...but now they had to deal with the mutants.

Immediately, they started spewing acid at our heroes...which for some reason was capable of melting through steel. Suffice to say it would have a similar effect on flesh and bone, as Padme Amidala discovered when she was hit by one.

"I'm melting..." stated Padme as she became a pile of goo from the deadly acid.

"Yuck!" screamed Jar Jar Binks. Why did Padme have to die so gruesomely? Then again she never seemed to die that much.

After getting past the mutants, they now had to deal with Rambo, who as usual had a ridiculous amount of firepower that could kill pretty much anything, even if it was bulletproof.

He immediately started shooting our heroes, forcing them to try to dodge the bullets Matrix-style.

In this case, it worked well for Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn...as for C-3PO, not so much.

"Bullets are tearing through my circuits...I'm shutting down..." stated C-3PO.

Suddenly, he exploded, causing R2-D2 to shed a tear made out of oil and let out a sad beep.

"How many more of us are going to die?!" exclaimed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"I hope that the next victim is Jar Jar Binks." answered Qui-Gon Jinn.

Next up were the evil monkey ninjas, who immediately let out a screech upon spotting our heroes. They then pulled out banana boomerangs and started throwing them...and for some strange reason were capable of cutting through flesh. Just where exactly did they get those bananas?

"I wonder if the scientists ran out of ideas." thought Obi-Wan.

Suddenly, Qui-Gon Jinn found himself with his head cut off when one of the monkeys threw one at his neck.

"Curse you monkey ninjas!" screamed Kenobi.

Thankfully, a truck full of bananas came by...and ended up crashing into a building. Apparently the driver was intoxicated or something.

The monkey ninjas took the opportunity to begin looting the truck, hoping that they would end up getting all the bananas they ever wanted in their entire lifetime. Suffice to say Obi-Wan Kenobi and R2-D2 had dodged a bullet.

They then found themselves dealing with a man-eating shark...which was in a kiddy pool so that our heroes could simply go around it.

"I guess they decided not to test this one after coming up with so many ways that were more than capable of killing people." thought Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Next up however was Optimus Prime...but since he was a pacifist he decided not to kill them.

"Again, it looks like today's our lucky day...of course, the same can't be the same for everyone that's already died..." stated Obi-Wan Kenobi.

R2-D2 beeped in agreement. He even shook hands with Optimus...since he was also a robot he figured they would get along...and curiously enough he thought right.

However, the flaming wolves proved not to be so friendly, as Obi-Wan Kenobi discovered when they began eating him.

"They're eating me, and then they're going to eat you! Oh my force!" screamed Kenobi.

But contrary to what he had said the flaming wolves did not try to eat R2-D2...they instead dragged Obi-Wan's carcass towards their den. Suffice to say they might have complications trying to resurrect him later.

Finally, all that was left was Chuck Norris...who thankfully was sleeping on duty. Jar Jar Binks tried to blow a raspberry, but the droid did not approve of him tempting fate and covered his mouth with his robotic appendage.

R2-D2 and Jar Jar Binks then discovered the laser cannon. The droid pushed the Gungan inside of the laser cannon and pressed a button. Unfortunately, he was incapable of speech other than beeping and therefore couldn't say something cheesy such as "Ima firin my lazor!"

But nonetheless, the Gungan screamed as he was completely and utterly vaporized...well, maybe not completely. But certainly utterly.

R2-D2 then scooped up the ashes and then pulled out the Book of Resurrection...but unfortunately he was unable to read the spell.

Fortunately, one of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization members came by to check on their progress. Perhaps he had realized that Jar Jar Binks's killers were in danger and decided to lend them a hand. He decided to resurrect the deceased for R2-D2...and pretty soon everyone was back on their feet.

"I don't think we should visit this laboratory again. It's just too dangerous." thought Anakin.

"I agree, my apprentice. Let's go somewhere else."

Unbeknownst to our heroes however, an extremely dangerous adversary of theirs had spotted them, and he was already plotting his revenge.

"Yousa are going to die...especially you, Jar Jar Binks." stated the mysterious being.

_Who do you think has a bone to pick with the entire cast? It could probably be anyone for all we know? Maybe it's the telemarketer? The grudge is probably pretty after all._

_You'll find out in the next chapter...which of course will once again feature Jar Jar Binks dying a horrible death._


	97. Return of Evil Jar Jar Binks

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_As I foreshadowed in the last chapter, an old nemesis of our heroes is going to be paying them a visit...and it's not going to be fun for them, oh no. In fact, they're going to be in horrible danger. But is this evildoer going to succeed this time? Last time he appeared in the story he nearly wiped out of our heroes...it was really messy._

_Either way, it's time to begin the latest chapter...it's going to be intense, I can tell you that! Anyways, here it comes!_

**Chapter 97: Return of Evil Jar Jar Binks**

As usual, the day had started off well for our heroes, so they did not suspect anything horrible to happen. Suffice to say, they were caught off guard when an old nemesis of theirs returned. After all, they thought he was dead...and they didn't exactly resurrect him like they had done to his good counterpart.

Our heroes were currently relaxing out in the sunset like usual, unaware of all the horrible things that were lying in store for them. Why were they always caught offguard? Surely they would be more observant of their surroundings by now considering all the strange and unusual things that had been happening to them lately.

"Nothing can possibly spoil a day like this..." stated Anakin Skywalker, who was arguably the most oblivious of the danger they were facing. Apparently he wasn't that smart considering the fact that he eventually decided to join the Dark Side...in the canonical version of the series, anyway.

It was that Evil Jar Jar Binks shot them with a laser beam from his fancy new state-of-the-art arm cannon. He was back with a vengeance, alright. And he had exactly what he needed to let their bodies hit the floor.

"I spoke too soon." said Anakin. He just had to say that, didn't he? Of all the things he could possibly say, he had to say something that had doomed all of his friends. Perhaps he should have hold his tongue?

"What the-" spoke Padme Amidala.

"Run for cover!" exclaimed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

And our heroes did so, wondering who the heck had fired at them and why exactly he wanted them dead. Of course, it didn't really matter considering that they were in horrible danger, but as it turned out, it was none other than a deadly old adversary of theirs known as Evil Jar Jar Binks, who for some reason was now a cyborg.

"I thought you were dead! This is impossible! Did someone use the Book of Resurrection on you or something? I honestly don't understand who would want you to return from the darkest depths of Hell." screamed Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Mesa was dead! But scientists found mesa and rebuilt mesa head to toe! Mesa return da favor by slaughtering dem all with mesa deadly weapons! Thosa idiots never saw it coming! Sucks to be dem! Mwahahaha!" exclaimed Evil Jar Jar Binks.

"What were they thinking? Were they using spice or something? No sane man would want to rebuild this maniac! He's a monster!" exclaimed Anakin Skywalker.

"I guess they had way too much time on their hands, and wanted something else to do. But you're right Anakin...only an idiot would try to recreate this fiend. I'm cursing them with all my heart right now." answered Padme Amidala.

"Now mesa is gonna kill every last one of yousa! Dat's right! Yousa are all gonna die! Especially Jar Jar Binks! He sucks!" exclaimed Evil Jar Jar Binks.

"Hey! Killing Jar Jar Binks is supposed to be our job! Go get your own occupation, you copycat!" exclaimed Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Too bad. Mesa also going to steal yousa Book of Resurrection so mesa can kill Jar Jar Binks as many as times as I want...in fact, mesa gonna resurrect you all so that yousa will all die horrible deaths over and over again!"

"Noooo!" exclaimed Anakin Skywalker. Now they couldn't even pray for the sweet release of death, because not even Death himself could stop Evil Jar Jar Binks from killing them repeatedly!

"Yes! Enjoy the irony, yousa losers!" bellowed Evil Jar Jar Binks.

Shortly afterwards, Evil Jar Jar Binks turned his arm into a scary-looking shotgun and then shot Padme's head off.

"Padme!" exclaimed Anakin Skywalker, horrified at the rather violent yet painless death of his girlfriend.

Obi-Wan Kenobi tried to defend his friends from the bloodthirsty monster and pulled out his lightsaber, but Evil Jar Jar Binks pulled out a pistol and shot him in the hand, causing it to drop on his foot. It cut through his ankle and basically it wasn't fun. In fact, Obi-Wan Kenobi screamed like a little girl upon seeing his horrible wounds.

This gave Evil Jar Jar Binks more than enough time to pump him full of lead with his shiny silver minigun and make a puddle of blood form from underneath his carcass.

"Force, why have you betrayed me? What did I ever do to you? Did I take your wallet or something? Why are you letting me become one with you and then splitting me apart again?" wondered Obi-Wan before he died.

Afterwards, he decided to kill Obi-Wan Kenobi's master Qui-Gon Jinn, in this case by stabbing him in the heart with his lightsaber...which for some strange reason could now cut through even time and space.

"Goodbye cruel world...hopefully the planet in the sky is a better planet than this bloodthirsty one. Of course, I'm going to be seeing you again soon enough..." he thought.

Suddenly, C-3PO and R2-D2 decided to pay Anakin a visit...and were horrified to discover the corpses of his friends.

"What's going on here? Who did this? Who?" C-3PO exclaimed, clueless about the massacre that was unfolding.

R2-D2 once again wet himself...leaving a puddle of oil on the floor. He always did that when he was frightened, apparently. It was actually kind of gross.

C-3PO's questions were answered when Evil Jar Jar Binks then vaporized him and R2-D2 by shooting lasers out of his eyes. All that was left of them was now was scrap metal...which suffice to say couldn't be used to rebuild them together again like him, curiously enough.

"Talk about overkill..." thought Anakin Skywalker, disgusted at the horrible sight. Of course, the worst part of it was that he was next.

Finally, Evil Jar Jar Binks got ready to kill the boy...when suddenly the most miraculous thing occurred, his good counterpart stopped by.

"Hey Evil Jar Jar Binks! Good to see yousa again! But why is dere a button on yousa back? Mesa wanna press it!" questioned Jar Jar Binks, who began poking it.

"Don't press dat! That's mesa self-destruct butt-"

Evil Jar Jar Binks suddenly exploded into a million pieces. Unfortunately, Jar Jar Binks stood too close to him and he perished in the blast as a result. Similar to Obi-Wan Kenobi, he screamed like a little girl.

"Thank goodness for obvious design flaws..." thought Anakin Skywalker. Like Padme Amidala said, Evil Jar Jar Binks was rebuilt by idiots. Their sheer stupidity had saved them all...but considering they built this monstrosity in the first place and therefore endangered their lives they didn't exactly owe them anything.

Afterwards, he pulled out the Book of Resurrection and resurrected both Jar Jar Binks and his friends so that they could kill the Gungan once again...naturally, they did not resurrect Evil Jar Jar Binks, due to the fact that they did not want to get horribly slaughtered once again. It seemed nowadays they were dying almost as much as Jar Jar Binks himself.

"At this rate we're going to get completely wiped out...both us and Jar Jar..." thought Anakin Skywalker. Why they did they keep getting attacked? It's not like everyone hated them...except for maybe their next-door neighbor, as Jar Jar was always peeing on his lawn.

These thoughts continued to plague Anakin Skywalker. Just how long would they be able to continue their killing spree? He eventually decided not to dwell on it...after all, it was best to kill Jar Jar Binks as many times as possible. It was just too much fun to pass up.

Ironically, Jar Jar Binks himself had saved them that particular day at the cost of their own life. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all. Then again, killing him had become a particular part of their routine.

They were also running out of ideas too...they were getting murderer's block to say the very least. What ways had they already not killed him? They had already electrocuted him, set him on fire, froze him to death, tore him limb to limb...and other nasty ways.

Hopefully they would eventually be able to come up with new ways...but it wouldn't be easy, to say the very least.

_And Evil Jar Jar Binks has once again returned from the dead...you wanted to see him again...so I figured why not include this as another death._

_Of course, seeing though this story is going to hopefully end soon...he's probably not going to come back a third time...I might include him in another story of mine though...then again, I probably won't be able to come up with new ways to kill Jar Jar Binks...it's getting too hard to come up with new deaths._


	98. Santa Claus

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_For some strange reason...I got another unusual request...in this case it was to kill Jar Jar Binks using Santa Claus...of course, being killed by jolly St. Nick must be a horrible way to go...I mean, he's the one that's giving presents to kids every year...does it even sound pleasant for you?_

_As such, I decided that it would probably be a good idea to kill Jar Jar Binks this way...of course, it's not exactly Christmas, but since somebody insisted on this creative death four months or so after Christmas, I figured, why not._

_So let's watch Jar Jar Binks die such an ironic and nonetheless horrible death. Again, who would have thought that Santa could be so cruel? Then again it's not like he's always portrayed as a good guy..._

**Chapter 98: Santa Claus**

Our heroes were happy that it was Christmas season...since unlike Halloween, they did not have to worry about any horror icons attacking them such as Jason Voorhees, Leatherface, the shark from Jaws, Serena Morgan, or even Freddy Krueger. In fact, they didn't even have to worry about llamas wearing Christmas elf hats, curiously enough.

Unfortunately for them, they had been put on the top of Santa's naughty list for murdering Jar Jar Binks ninety-seven times despite the fact that he had regularly begged for mercy.

In fact, Santa Claus had decided to take rather violent actions against them that were rather disproportionate as well as unneccessarily cruel. And so he decided to take his sleigh over towards their house so that he could brutally murder them all.

As always, our heroes were oblivious to the horrible fate that was going to come upon them. In fact, all they seemed to care about was getting their presents on Christmas. It did come only once a year, after all. Surprisingly, they didn't even feel like killing Jar Jar Binks that day...

Anakin Skywalker was looking forward to receiving a plastic lightsaber, Padme Amidala was looking forward to getting a makeup kit, Obi-Wan Kenobi was looking forward to getting a massage chair, and Qui-Gon Jinn was looking forward to ripping Jar Jar Binks' head off.

Suddenly, they heard the sounds of sleigh bells ringing. Was Kris Kringle flying over their house?

"Is it Santa? I can see flying reindeer outside...who would have thought that they actually existed?" questioned Anakin Skywalker.

"I don't know...he only seems to come when we're sleeping...why would he show up while we were awake? It doesn't make sense." questioned Padme Amidala.

"If he really is, we should probably give him a warm welcome." stated Obi-Wan Kenobi. "After all, we want to be on his nice list. That way we won't receive coal."

"We better not light the fireplace this time...last time we did that I heard screaming...and somebody calling for elves to put his beard out..." warned Qui-Gon Jinn.

"According to my calculations, Santa Claus should drop down from the chimney any second now." said C-3PO.

R2-D2 beeped in confusion. This certainly seemed rather unusual. In fact, he got the feeling that something was wrong.

Their question was answered when suddenly Santa Claus dropped down from the chimney...but for some strange reason, he did not seem happy to see them. He didn't even say his trademark "Ho ho ho!"

"Is that really Santa? I always thought that he would be a bit fatter. Then again, what do I know?" thought Qui-Gon Jinn.

Unsurprisingly, Jar Jar Binks was ridiciously excited. He ran down the stairs (almost falling down them in the process), looking forward to finally meeting Santa in the flesh.

"Yay! Mesa love Santa! Mesa hope yousa give mesa lots of presents!" squealed Jar Jar Binks.

However, his attention was not directed towards the Gungan, but towards the Jedi that had slaughtered him so many times.

"Er, hi.' greeted Anakin Skywalker nervously.

"Are you going to sing a song like in that red-nosed reindeer movie? Or are you just coming to deliver our presents?" asked Padme Amidala.

"You've been very naughty, you troublemakers! You've been spending most of your time gruesomely murdering Jar Jar Binks! Every time he dies, you've been using the Book of Resurrection to bring him from the dead time and time again! Don't you know that people are supposed to stay dead?" questioned Santa Claus.

"Um..." answered Padme Amidala.

"Anyways, due to the fact that you have been refused to quit being horribly naughty, I have decided to punish your horrible crimes with death!" bellowed Santa.

"What?!" exclaimed Anakin Skywalker.

Suddenly, the fat man in the red suit pulled out a gun. And for some strange reason, it was a gun with no recoil whatsoever.

"I've got a present for all of you! Merry Christmas!" exclaimed Santa Claus sadistically.

Unsurprisingly, he then began shooting, killing each of our heroes one by one in a shower of blood and gore.

Obi-Wan Kenobi tried pulling out a lightsaber to defend himself, but Santa simply shot him in the hand, causing him to scream like a little girl despite the fact that he was a fully-grown man.

"Jesus Christ!" exclaimed Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Watch your freaking language!" screamed Santa as he shot Qui-Gon Jinn's head off.

Anakin Skywalker tried to run away from the demented holiday mascot, but he was too quick. Immediately, Santa Claus caught up to him and sat on his face.

"Thought you could get away eh? Now if you excuse me I need to work off the cookies all the kids are giving me." stated St. Nick.

Suddenly, Santa took an enormous and highly deadly fart.

"Gah!" exclaimed Anakin Skywalker in horror and agony as he suffocated from the toxic fumes.

After killing the Jedi, he then turned to admire his handiwork. It looked like his assassination method was a success.

Unfortunately, as he suddenly discovered, during his trigger-happy and brutal rampage, he accidentally shot Jar Jar Binks in the face, which proved to be lethal.

"Oops..." stated Santa Claus.

And to make matters worse for Santa, he began to hear police sirens. Apparently they heard all the gunshots and they were coming to investigate.

"It looks like I'll have to make it look like I was never here." stated St. Nick.

Immediately, he used his Christmas magic doodah to bring back everyone he had slain back from the dead, and then poofed his way out of here.

"What happened?" stated Anakin Skywalker.

"Strange, I don't think we were resurrected using the Book of Resurrection this time." answered Padme Amidala.

"That's a first." stated Obi-Wan Kenobi.

R2-D2 beeped in bewilderment. How else could they have possibly returned from the dead?

"It's one of the wonders of the world." agreed C-3PO, just as perplexed as his friend was.

They also got the feeling that Jar Jar Binks had died that particular day, although they weren't sure how.

"How very odd." thought Anakin Skywalker.

"Well, why question something that we like? I'm glad that he ended up dying...that's what we do for a living, after all." pointed out Padme Amidala.

And so our heroes decided to celebrate Christmas...despite the fact they had been gruesomely murdered by its fat mascot.

To make a long story short, they had a merry (albeit bloody Christmas), and a happy new year (except for Jar Jar Binks, who was in for some of the worst deaths in history).

_Well, this chapter was a bit different from the rest, I suppose. But I guess you all want variety...this story does get repetitive after a while..._

_I suppose it's ironic that I decided to make Santa evil in this chapter...I mean, think about it! Wouldn't he make the perfect burglar? Then again everybody seems to love Santa...I know I like him even though I decided to use him as a killer in this story..._

_To think that there are only three chapters left before this story is completed...I wasn't entirely sure that I would even get this far...hopefully I can get this story over with so that I can work on something else..._

_Not like I don't enjoy working on this story...it's always been so hilarious...since everyone hates Jar Jar Binks so much._

_So, I bet you'll be looking forward to the next chapter...let's hope that it will be epic._


	99. Genocide

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Well, this is the third-to-last chapter, again, it's been a really long story...to think that there are only two more chapters left after this is really surprising...I even decided to use Santa Claus as a death last chapter since a reviewer requested it...of course, another reviewer requested I use the Easter Bunny, but that's not quite as horrible...I mean, the Easter Bunny isn't quite as well-known as Santa...and people kind of expect a bunny to be deadly..._

_However, I have received a few reviews to kill Jar Jar Binks using even more horror icons...you all seem to love watching them murder Jar Jar Binks...so I got an idea all of a sudden...to make a long story, Jar Jar Binks is going to die in this chapter from many things that have already killed him...yes, he's going to die repeatedly...and it's going to be so much fun to watch...hopefully anyhow._

**Chapter 99: Genocide**

Today was Jar Jar Binks' birthday...although our heroes didn't really like celebrating it. Nonetheless, his annoying friends had decided to pay him a visit. This posed a problem for our heroes, as they realized that they would try to stop them from killing Jar Jar Binks.

"That's not good...they might call the police and we'd end up getting arrested...and we can't exactly murder Jar Jar Binks while we're in jail." stated Anakin Skywalker.

"Not to mention that his friends kind of outnumber us...who would have thought that there would be so many annoying characters just like him?" continued Padme Amidala.

"We're going to have to come up with a plan..." explained Obi-Wan Kenobi.

And so our heroes began to plot Jar Jar Binks' death just like they had done so many times before...however, this time, they would also plot the demise of his friends, because apparently they deserved to die too.

"It's not like we're the only ones that killed that Gungan anyway...he always seems to fall prey to supernatural forces." stated Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Maybe we could just nuke him and his friends or something...or drop an atomic bomb." suggested Anakin Skywalker.

"If we did that we would likely be arrested for terrorism." warned C-3PO, not looking forward to spending the rest of his life in Supermax.

R2-D2 beeped in agreement. It wasn't like the police would simply eat donuts and drink coffee after witnessing such a massive explosion. It still seemed like such an exciting idea though.

Come to think of it, it wasn't like they were the only ones that had killed Jar Jar Binks. In fact, he always seemed to fall prey to supernatural forces.

Suddenly, Anakin Skywalker got a wonderful idea. A wonderful, awful idea. A truly horrible yet truly terrific idea.

"Why don't we invite people that have killed Jar Jar Binks before to kill him and his friends for us? That way we don't even have to do the job ourselves. It'll be fun for everybody!" exclaimed the Jedi apprentice.

"That's a great idea! Who should we invite first?" questioned Padme Amidala.

And so our heroes began inviting the bloodythirsty killers that had murdered Jar Jar Binks in rather gruesome manners. Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Chucky, Leatherface, you name it. They also decided to call a few killers that hadn't actually killed Jar Jar Binks yet, simply so that they could add a bit of variety to the deaths.

They apparently enjoyed the idea of killing the obnoxious Gungan again, because pretty soon Anakin Skywalker and his friends started receiving phone calls as well. They even got calls from Evil Jar Jar Binks as well as the T-Rex from Jurassic Park...who for some reason was now capable of speech.

Eventually, they had enough people to slaughter Jar Jar Binks and his friends, and Obi-Wan Kenobi gathered them for a meeting.

"When do we get to start?" asked Freddy Krueger, looking forward to brutally murdering not only a certain Gungan, but also his lame friends.

"As soon as you feel like it, really. Jar Jar Binks and his friends are throwing a birthday party right at that house over there." explained Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Good." agreed Chucky.

_A few minutes later...at Jar Jar Binks' house..._

Jar Jar Binks was having a lot of fun. In fact, he was boogieing with his friends Dani Phantom, the Duck Hunt Dog, Scrappy Doo, Ashley Graham, Navi, Slippy the Frog, Barney the Dinosaur, Clippy, Spongebob Squarepants, and for some strange reason a gnome from World of Warcraft named Gary McNoxious. From the looks of it, they were planning to party all night long. In fact, it already was night.

"Dis is da best day of mesa life! What can go wrong?" asked Jar Jar Binks.

Unsurprisingly, things did start to go wrong shortly after he made such a question. All of a sudden, the music suddenly stopped playing, and immediately the Gungan and his friends started to realize that something was wrong. Was the record broken or something? All of a sudden things started to become creepy.

"What's going on?" questioned Dani Phantom.

"You seem to have a broken record. Need help?" questioned Clippy.

"All of a sudden this party isn't so fun anymore." stated Spongebob Squarepants.

"Hey listen!" exclaimed Navi.

Scrappy Doo began to throw a tantrum, causing the dog from Duck Hunt to start laughing.

"What are we going to do?" questioned Slippy the Frog.

"Maybe I could sing a song! I love you...you love me..." sang Barney the Dinosaur.

"I'll pass, thanks." stated Ashley Graham.

Suddenly, the record turned itself on back again...but this time the music track sounded like something that had come out of a horror movie. Jar Jar Binks and his friends were now really concerned.

As Jar Jar Binks and his guests were still wondering what was going on, suddenly, the horror icons that Anakin Skywalker and his friends hired to murder Jar Jar Binks and his comrades broke down the door and entered the house.

"Oh noes! Mesa recognize yousa guys! Yousa have come to kill mesa again!" exclaimed Jar Jar Binks.

"Yes, and we're going to kill your friends too!" exclaimed Chucky.

"Leon, help!" screamed Ashley Graham.

Suddenly, Jar Jar Binks was ensnared by several chains, which wrapped themselves around his arms, legs, and neck. Curious, he looked around to discover that Pinhead was part of the swarm of serial killers.

"Wait a minute! Yousa haven't killed mesa before! Why are yousa part of this horrible teamup?!" exclaimed the Gungan.

"Let's just say that someone wanted this to be a bit more original." stated Pinhead.

Suddenly, Jar Jar Binks was dismembered and decapitated by the chains, killing him instantly. Unsurprisingly, his friends began to panic.

"Run!" exclaimed Navi.

And run they did, with the exception of Scrappy Doo, who stupidly charged at the horror icons even though they outnumbered him heavily.

"Ra ta ta ta ta! Puppy power!" exclaimed Scrappy Doo.

Predictably, Dracula grabbed the puppy and sank his teeth into his small neck. In a matter of delicious irony, Scrappy Doo ended up as pale as a sheet as he began to die from the severe blood loss.

"Puppy...power..." murmured the puppy as he died from exsanguination (and from his own stupidity).

As for the other annoying characters, it became apparent that they were surrounded by these bloodthirsty monsters. Everywhere they looked, there was someone who was just dying for the chance to kill them.

In desperation, Slippy the Frog started hopping towards the chimney, hoping that he would somehow be able to hop his way up and towards the roof where he could make a clean exit. It wasn't exactly a good plan, but when you were in a life-or-death situation, you were willing to try pretty much anything.

However, this attempt to cheat death was thwarted by a man who curiously enough appeared in the last chapter.

"Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!" exclaimed Santa Claus.

"What the-"

Slippy was suddenly cut off when St. Nick fell down from the chimney and on top of the frog, breaking every bone in his body and killing him instantly.

"That's what you get for stealing my sleigh and modifying it into a Star Fox airship!" bellowed Santa, who had put Slippy on his naughty list last week for doing so.

Navi tried to fly out the window, but Chucky threw a rather sharp knife at her and she was crushed like a bug...assuming that she was a fairy and not a bug.

"Listen to that!" exclaimed Chucky.

"You seem to be trying to commit an act of mass murder. Need help?" questioned Clippy.

"There's one thing you can do." answered Freddy Krueger.

Suddenly, the scary man in the fedora grabbed the paperclip and started twisting him, causing him extreme pain.

"You seem to -OW- be torturing -OW- me. Need help?" questioned Clippy.

"I'm good, thanks." answered Flippy, who finally snapped the paperclip in half, killing him.

For some strange reason, the Duck Hunt Dog thought what was going on was funny. In fact, he was unable to stop himself from laughing. Apparently he was incredibly sadistic, because most people would not enjoy watching such a horrific bloodbath. But considering this dog thought that the mass murder of ducks was like throwing a party...

To make a long story short, he kept on laughing and laughing. Unfortunately, this allowed Jason Voorhees to sneak up behind the canine and then run him through with his machete. Normally, he did not kill animals, but considering how annoying he was he decided to make an exception that day.

Spongebob Squarepants at this point was mortally terrified. His friends were being slaughtered in horrifying and incredibly violent ways, and there was virtually nothing he could do about it!

He was so frightened, he decided to wet his eponymous pants. Unfortunately, Emperor Palpatine noticed this, and took advantage of the fact that he was now standing in a puddle...by using Force Lightning.

"Gah!" exclaimed Spongebob Squarepants as he was instantly electrocuted. After a few seconds of agony, he was reduced to ash.

"Shame, I would have liked to make him suffer a bit more...but that was hilarious!" exclaimed Emperor Palpatine.

"Leon! Help!" bellowed Ashley Graham at the top of her lungs.

Shortly afterwards, Leatherface cut off her head with a chainsaw.

"I love you...you love...we're a happy family..." sang Barney the Dinosaur, trying to calm down the horrible serial killers.

Shortly afterwards, a dinosaur came by and bit Barney's head off.

As for Gary McNoxious...he was unaware of what was going on despite the horrible screaming. He was upstairs watching TV about hot World of Warcraft players.

Suddenly, the channel changed to a well. A rather dark, depressing well.

"What the-I didn't press the remote! What's going on here?!" he exclaimed.

Shortly afterwards, Samara Morgan emerged from the well, and then went straight through the TV screen.

"What the deuce?" he questioned.

Samara Morgan then gave Gary McNoxious a fatal heart attack...to make a long story short, he died.

Shortly after the horrific job was done, Anakin Skywalker paid them a ton of money he got from selling a lightsaber on Ebay and then resurrected Jar Jar Binks and his friends back from the dead so that they could kill them again.

Suddenly, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization came by to abduct Anakin Skywalker and his friends. As for the villains they hired, they used a spell to send them to the darkest depths of Hell.

"Now we won't have to worry about any interruptions." stated the leader of the organization.

Unbeknowst to them, this would be the last time they would actually get to kill them...the story was called 101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks...after all.

_That chapter sure was intense...all of Jar Jar Binks' friends died in horrible ways...and of course Jar Jar Binks also died from Pinhead...so that was an added bonus._

_Now you know why I decided to call this chapter Genocide...since you know, they wiped out Jar Jar Binks and his friends...it was a total party kill._

_In the next chapter, something bad is going to happen to the Anti-Evil Jar Jar Binks Organization...it's not going to be fun for them..._


	100. Death Star

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Well, there's only one chapter left after this one...which of course is going to be the grand finale...but before that, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization is going to kill Jar Jar Binks..._

_Or in this case, someone's going to do the job for them...granted, they are going to appear in this chapter...but they're not going to actually do the killing themselves this time...also, as I said previously, their base is going to be destroyed! Sucks to be them!_

_This is the last Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization chapter after all...so let's literally end their last chapter with a big bang!_

**Chapter 100: Death Star**

As before, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization was plotting to kill Jar Jar Binks. But what method hadn't they already tried before? He had already died ninety-nine times,...so there wasn't really many options at that point. Just how were they supposed to kill him now?

Believe it or not, sometimes being part of an organization bent on killing horrible Gungans was hard. Granted, it was far from a bad job, but sometimes they couldn't decide just how to do the job right. They had their own opinions on how to slaughter Gungans, after all. But what could they agree on?

"What are we going to do? We can't keep killing him if we can't think up of new ideas...it seems like we've used every way that we can possibly kill him." pointed out one of the organization members.

"Maybe we could use one of our old ideas but improve it to make it even more gruesome. Have we made his head explode yet?" suggested another one of the organization members.

"I don't know. That sounds like it would be too cliche...I'd rather we do it in a way that's rather original...but just how can we do that? To be honest I don't have exactly many ideas myself..." disagreed yet another organization member.

"What are we going to do, then? We can't just leave Jar Jar Binks alive for today. That would defeat the purpose! Why do you think people call us the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization? Are we going to have to change our names to the Cute Fluffy Kitten Organization? I don't think that would work out, really." they asked.

Suddenly, the leader of the organization came by...and he looked like he was a panic. Sweat was dripping down from his face, and it looked like he wanted to tell them something. Something urgent.

"Hey boss? What's the matter?" questioned one of the members, noticing that his employer now had a face that was white as a sheet. Did he see a dead body or something? It was rather unusual that he'd be so frightened. After all, when you run an organization where you kill a Gungan in many different ways...you really can't be too squeamish.

"We've got to get out of here right now! Emperor Palpatine has ordered this planet to be destroyed! He's going to fire the Death Star to blow it to smithereens not too long from now!" exclaimed the boss.

"What?!" they screamed, all of a sudden realizing the immense danger they were in. Were they all going to die? They knew that they couldn't warn everyone about the planet exploding, to say the very least. And of course, there wasn't anything they could do about the explosion, since they didn't invent a barrier that was powerful enough to deflect giant green lasers.

Unsurprisingly, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization left the meeting room and then prepared to leave the planet so that they could escape the earth-shattering kaboom and avoid dying a horrible death.

Thankfully, they were thoughtful and made sure to pick up Anakin Skywalker and his friends so that they could escape the explosion too. They had been a big help for them after all...even though technically they had brainwashed them to do their bidding.

But in the process, they forgot about one particular person...who ironically enough they were planning to kill that day to begin with, and had already killed many times before.

"Where did everybody go? Is mesa missing out on something? Are yousa throwing a party without mesa? Mesa love parties! Don't leave mesa out!" questioned Jar Jar Binks.

Curious, he decided to look around and see if anyone was still there. Curiously enough, there wasn't, although there were crickets chirping and the occasional tumbleweed. It looked as if he were the only one left on the planet.

"Mesa feel so lonely now! Why did everyone leave mesa behind? Mesa don't want to be by mesaself. Dis is not mesa day. Mesa feel so lonely." stated the Gungan, who then began to sigh.

Again, he began to wonder why everybody had left...were they going to play bingo? Were they going to play poker? Were they going to drink beer at Moe's Tavern? Were they listening to music?

His question was answered when out of the blue, the Death Star fired its destructive green laser of doom that killed things at the center of the planet.

"What the deuce?" questioned Jar Jar Binks as he noticed the green light heading towards him. He quickly realized he was screwed, and he began to panic.

"Curse you, Emperor Palpatine! Lousy, crummy Death Star! Why couldn't it be the Life Star?! That would have been far more preferable!" exclaimed the Gungan, which was rather ironic considering that he was the one that gave him his powers.

Immediately, the planet was blown to bits...and since our least favorite Gungan was still on the planet when it exploded, he ended up being blown up too. In just a few seconds, he ended up dying.

Emperor Palpatine, who was witnessing the spectacle, laughed in triumph. He had always wanted to test the Death Star on Jar Jar Binks...and judging from the destruction of the planet it looked as if it was a brilliant success.

Granted, he had also destroyed the base of the Anti-Evil Jar Jar Binks Organization in the process which was filled with the equipment they used to slaughter him...but he decided that it was simply collateral damage. Besides, it wasn't like he really needed them anymore considering they couldn't think of any more ways to kill Jar Jar.

Nonetheless, he used his satantic powers to bring Jar Jar Binks back from the dead...so that his friends could kill him one last time and decorate their house with his blood or something like that. They sure had been hard at work.

But how would they kill him this time? Since it was the final time they were going to kill him it would have to be one of the worst ways to die in the entire galaxy...which of course would really be saying something.

_That was the penultimate chapter folks...like I said, the Anti-Evil Jar Jar Binks Organization has been destroyed...or at least their base has, so it looks like Anakin Skywalker and his friends are going to have to do the job themselves..._

_And of course, it's going to be one final death...I sincerely hope you enjoy the finale...I in particular have been looking forward to it...even though that means I won't be writing any more chapters..._

_It's been kind of a long story and I've been looking forward to getting to complete it...that way you can see the ending for yourselves..._


	101. Sarlacc

101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks

_Well, this is it...the final chapter. Personally, I wanted to keep the killing method of this chapter a surprise...of course, it nonetheless showed up in a few of my reviews...you sure come up with crazy methods to kill him...I even decided to use Santa as one of my killing methods..._

_So, did you guess what killing method I was going to use for the final chapter? Some of you probably figured it out...but what do I know?_

_Nonetheless...you're going to find out what I'm going to use on Jar Jar Binks...it's not going to be a fun death for him...in fact, it's going to take forever...how long you say? A thousand years!_

_Suffice to say I thought this would be perfect for the grand finale...so I hope you agree...after all, it's by far the worst way to die in the Star Wars universe...at least I think you'd agree on that..._

**Chapter 101: Sarlacc**

After killing Jar Jar Binks for so, so long, our heroes figured that it was finally time to go in retirement. But before they did so, they decided that it would best to murder Jar Jar Binks one last time...and not resurrect him.

Suffice to say, they decided that it would have to be an absolutely horrible way to go. In fact, it would have to be their most horrific murder of all. One so horrible that people would be talking about it for ages.

And Anakin Skywalker knew just how to do Jar Jar Binks once and for all. He was going to suffer, all right. In fact, he was going to learn a new definition of pain and suffering, and death would come to be a respite for him.

"Let's toss him into the Great Pit of Carkoon and feed him to a Sarlacc! That way he'll be wishing for death...which won't come for him for centuries! It's the perfect way for him to die!" exclaimed the Jedi.

"You're saying you want Jar Jar Binks to be digested for a thousand years? That does sound like it would be good for him." agreed Padme Amidala.

"Ah yes...that does sound like an ideal punishment for him considering death has become a slap of the wrist for him as of late..." nodded Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Let's head over to Tatooine then. That's where the Sarlacc lives after all...although personalyl I wonder why a plant would live in a place that didn't exactly have much water." suggested Qui-Gon Jinn.

C-3PO explained to our heroes what a Sarlacc was and that it would digest Jar Jar Binks a thousand years...and that its stomach was essentially one giant torture chamber. Personally, he wondered if he was too cruel.

R2-D2 then beeped that they already knew about the Sarlacc, and that he should stop explaining everything. C-3PO simply shrugged. He always seemed to want to talk about things that no-one else was interested in.

Personally, R2-D2 was excited about giving Jar Jar Binks such a cruel fate. It was exactly what had deserved...and he would never appear in any Star Wars movie again...assuming he didn't come back as a force ghost after a thousand years...

So they decided not to ask any more questions, abduct Jar Jar Binks, take him to Tatooine, and feed him to a Sarlacc, who was lying in the sand waiting for its next delicious meal that would stay in its tummy for quite some time.

"Why is dere a gigantic plant in dat pit?" questioned Jar Jar Binks, curious to what was going on...as usual unaware of the death that was awaiting him...even though it was going to be absolutely horrific.

"The real question you should be asking is what we're going to do with that pit...and what we're going to do with you." stated Anakin Skywalker.

"Oh no! Don't do dis to mesa! Mesa begging you! Mesa don't wanna be plant food! Don't kill mesa!" begged Jar Jar Binks. Once again, his pleas fell on deaf ears.

"Mercy isn't my strong point." stated Anakin, who immediately kicked the Gungan into the Sarlacc's mouth.

"Noooo!" he screamed as he fell into the enormous pit of doom to the fate he had coming toward him for a long time.

The Sarlacc then let out an enormous burp, because it didn't exactly have any table manners. How a gigantic plant could burp was a mystery to the galaxy.

"Yes! We did it! Now we'll never have to worry about Jar Jar Binks again! He's finally gone! I feel like celebrating!" exclaimed Anakin Skywalker.

"Farewell, Jar Jar Binks! We're not going to miss you! Have fun being digested for a thousand years" taunted Padme Amidala.

"May the force not be with you, Jar Jar Binks. I don't think even the dark side of the force will accept you." stated Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"I can't say I feel sorry for him. He did so many horrible things...and now it's payback time." stated Qui-Gon Jinn.

R2-D2 beeped in excitement. Ding dong the Gungan was being digested by a horrific abomination!

C-3PO told our heroes that Jar Jar Binks was already suffering as they speak. Being digested by a Sarlacc really wasn't any fun.

Unfortunately, as our heroes discovered shortly afterwards, the gigantic plant wanted a second helping, and immediately it grabbed onto the shuttle and started shaking our heroes out.

One by one, our heroes all fell into the Sarlacc's maw screaming at the top of their lungs like little girls. Before long, they were all eaten. And curiously enough, the Book of Resurrection also fell into the pit, so it looked like there wouldn't be any more resurrections.

Along with Jar Jar Binks, they would be digested for a thousand years...and eventually, they would be led to believe that they were the Sarlacc, because mutant plant monsters loved brainwashing others by devouring their minds.

Nonetheless, their mission was technically a success...and curiously enough, the Anti-Evil Jar Jar Binks Organization were watching nearby using their trusty binoculars. Their leader immediately smiled.

"Well, this is a pyrrhic victory for us...our base has been destroyed, the characters we all love are dead...but at least now Jar Jar Binks is going to be digested for a thousand years...and after that, he's finally be out of the Star Wars movies." stated the leader of the organization.

Satisfied that his mission was a success...the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization decided to throw a party...and a big one too, with balloons, cake, cupcakes, pie, presents, and all kinds of fun things.

Of course, considering that their mission was over, they considered joining another organization and assisting them with their goal of giving annoying fictional characters exactly what they deserved.

After all, even with Jar Jar Binks gone...there would always be an obnoxious character out there somewhere...so their work would not be truly done...and the bloodshed would never end.

But one thing was certain, Jar Jar was finally gone forever...and that the galaxy would finally be at peace forever.

THE END

_Well, how did you like the ending? Jar Jar Binks is now going to get digested for a thousand years...and interestingly enough so are his friends...it was a pyrrhic victory like the leader of the Anti-Evil Jar Jar Binks Organization said after all..._

_Personally, I'm glad that I managed to finish this story...I wasn't entirely sure that I'd be able to write one hundred and one chapters...but apparently I could..._

_Nonetheless, I hoped you enjoy the ending...at least now the story is finally complete and you can now feel free to read it from start to finish..._

_I enjoyed writing this story...and I hoped you enjoyed it too...so have fun._

_Adios._


End file.
